"Can you help me?" Bugeater, who was out collecting herbs yet again, turned his attention to Toadfoot.
"What do you want?" he asked the ShadowClan warrior, who was also his uncle, or cousin, or whatever.
He was surprised that he was asked him for help. Toadfoot had always seemed like a strong independent cat, who didn't even seem to like him much, and now he was asking for his help?
"Well, you know how some clan cats have been fighting in The Dark Forest?"
"No."
"Well, I think Appledusk may be training there, she is always showing up with unexplained injuries, and she's been super moody too."
"She has been."
Bugeater's fur bristled, and he jumped around to find himself looking at Toadstep.
"What are you doing on ShadowClan territory?" Toadfoot hissed at the ThunderClan warrior.
"Appledusk is training in The Dark Forest, but it's okay, because you're both going to die in the battle between The Dark Forest and StarClan, so it doesn't even matter," Toadstep meowed, taking a drag off of his catmint cigarette.
"OMFSC! I can't die! I'm an important character! I went on the journey to help liberate the water from the beavers, I was on the great journey, and I befriended Birchfall when I was a kit, Blackstar is my father!" Toadfoot shook his head, "Why do cats like Crowfeather get hugeeee plot lines about them, when he's not even as important as me, and I barely get any mentions, and I just die?"
Bugeater just shrugged, he didn't know what to tell him.
"Maybe if you were super moody and annoying like Crowfeather, then StarClan won't want you up there, so they won't kill you," he suggested.
"Anyway, I have to continue to look for herbs, so I'll talk to you later," he added, racing away, before Toadfoot had a chance to say anything else.
He needed to hurry up his medicine cat training, so he could go back to his clan, and he couldn't do that if he was busy concentrating on other things.
He did feel a little guilty about turning Toadfoot away then, he made a promise to himself, to make it up to him as soon as he was able to.
"Leafpool just had three she-cats and four toms!" Brightheart exclaimed, racing into the middle of the camp.
"They're all healthy and strong," she added.
"Great Scott!" Cloudtail gasped, jumping up to his paws, "that's nine whole kits!"
"I'm happy for her, but I find that a little unfair that she gets to have seven kits, when StarClan said that four kits were too many, so they killed Molepaw with greencough," Sorreltail grumbled.
"Wait, THAT'S why my only son died? I thought it was because Whitestorm was cursed when it came to the males of his family, " Brackenfur gasped, "I can't believe it was because of StarClan thinking four kits in one litter was too many," he shook his head, "That makes no sense, I was born in a four kit litter, by that logic, Thornclaw should be dead."
"Why me?" Thornclaw growled.
"Because, you were the last born, it only makes sense."
"How do you know I was born last?" Thornclaw hissed.
"Cinderpelt told me in a dream," Brackenfur meowed.
"Okay, that makes sense I guess," Thornclaw shrugged.
"Does it even matter? The point is, we have seven lovely kits in the nursery, and you're all just bickering!" Brightheart spat.
"What do they look like?" Whitewing asked.
"They all look like clones of Warrior Cats' past, one looks like Pinestar, one looks like Goosefeather, one looks like Willowbreeze, one looks like Sandgorse, one looks like Clear Sky, one looks like Whiteclaw, and the last one looks like Thrushpelt!" Lionblaze exclaimed.
"How do you know what all these cats look like?" Thornclaw asked.
"Jayfeather told me."
"But Jayfeather's blind," Thornclaw shook his head with disbelief.
"Not ALL the time, he spies on people when they're sleeping!" Lionblaze exclaimed.
"Omfsc, what?" Thornclaw gasped, "My dreams are my own private thoughts!"
"Yeah! I don't want any cat peeking into my head!" Spiderleg spat.
"It's okay, I won't tell anyone about the secret relationship between you two, just stop making such a big deal out of everything," Jayfeather meowed.
"WHAT WHAT WHAT?" Daisy squawked, "Is that why you why you broke it off with me Spiderleg?"
"Omfsc! Ashfoot just had her kits too!" Cinderheart exclaimed. Spiderleg breathed out a sigh of relief.
"How many were there?" Cloudtail asked.
"Two, they named them Eaglekit and Crowkit."
Firestar padded out.
"Wow, it sure looks like ThunderClan is getting a lot of new cats!"
"Actually, Deadoot, Ashfoot, Crowkit, Eaglekit, Crowfeather, and some of his and Leafpool's kits are going to WindClan," Jayfeather meowed.
"Which kits?" Firestar asked.
"The ones that aren't orange, so Pinestar Jr and Sandgorse Jr are staying here, and the rest are going to WindClan."
"That's hardly fair, why do they get five kits, and we only get two?" Millie asked.
"Well, in Leafpool's first litter, we got to keep all three, and Crowfeather got none," Hazeltail pointed out.
"But Crowfeather didn't even know they were his kits!" Mousewhisker exclaimed.
"Yeah!" Brambleclaw agreed.
"Maybe the cats who look like ThunderClan cats can stay here, and the WindClan cat look alikes, can go there," Firestar suggested.
"What about Whiteclaw? He was a RiverClan warrior wasn't he?" Graystripe asked.
"Um, yeah, didn't you kill him?" Sandstorm asked.
"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Graystripe and Firestar spat in unison.
"Either way, that's not fair, because then ThunderClan would get Pinestar Jr, Goosefeather Jr, Thrushpelt Jr, and we'd get Sandgorse Jr, and that'd leave Willowbreeze Jr, Whiteclaw Jr, and Clear Sky Jr with no home," Crowfeather meowed.
"Can't we just auction them off to the highest bidder?" Breezepelt grumbled.
"No!" every cat shouted.
"Here's a way to settle this once and for all, I am moving to ShadowClan!" Leafpool exclaimed.
"Uhh, ShadowClan?" Crowfeather asked with confusion.
"Yes, I had a vision that ShadowClan will completely stink the the future, and that Littlecloud will never get a medicine cat apprentice before he dies, so I will have to move there anyway to train their next apprentice, because for some reason, I become a medicine cat again, so toodaloo, it was nice knowing you!"
"Nooooooo!" Crowfeather wailed as he watched her retreating form. Just when he thought he was finally happy, something just had to go wrong.