X x x
Normal POV:
Sakura's POV: 14 Years Ago
Eyes, amber like blazing honey, or the sun when it sits on the horizon…
Mouth, small and perfect as if kissed by an angel…
Hair, light brown and soft…
Skin, as white as milk and as delicate as fine China…
She was perfect, more beautiful and precious than the finest minds could conjure up. My little Rhaya, my little perfection, you are not what I thought you would be, you are far better.
Your gurgles and vowel practices make my heart swell. As I hold you in my arms you wriggle inside the pink blanket. You are eager to see the world already. I can't help but smile, and I can't help but to cry…
How can something so perfect, so utterly angelic come from something so damaged and flawed like me?
Your eyes…they blaze in a way that makes me worried. They are your fathers eyes, and when you look at me, I fear you can see into my past, into my troubles. Although beautiful, your eyes conjure up bad thoughts inside of me. I begin to think about him. It is something I fear that I will begin to hate over time…
And although I could never ever hate you Rhaya, I can become bitter. I am programmed that way by my father. I can feel the whispers of hate in me ever second. I can feel myself hating your father for not being here, for not seeing his daughter.
I am afraid Rhaya, afraid that I will taint you and the world you barely know. You have just come into this world, everything is new, pretty and exciting. My world was always grim and filled with bad memories and events.
I know my own mother held me like this once, when my world was shiny and new. I bet she made promises that she would love me and protect me from the evils that she knows. But I shall make no such promises Rhaya.
While my love for you is endless and my world now revolves around you, I will fail you eventually. It is not a question of 'if', it is a question of 'when.'
There is no happy ending for people like me and my mother, we are killers, we can protect ourselves, but not those around us.
It ends here, my beautiful Rhaya.
You shan't suffer the fate I must suffer.
I can see no happiness together, only darkness. I worry for you, I worry I will rope you into my darkness.
No, I shall become a ghost to you Rhaya. And I am sorry I must do this so soon after seeing you but…the longer I stay with you, the harder it will be for me to leave you…In removing myself from your life I shall be giving you the greatest gift ever.
Life.
Not just life, but a happy life.
Tomoyo will be a great mother to you Rhaya, I envy you. I want to stay with you so desperately, I want to be selfish and keep you for myself but this Kinomoto cycle must end with me.
Rhaya squirms and looks at me through her huge eyes. She stays silent, as if knowing that these are our last moments together and that soon, I will leave without a trace, heartbroken.
I lean in and kiss your soft head with tears of departure.
"I love you Rhaya. I will always love you…"
X x x
Later That Night
"Sakura!" Tomoyo called as she lightly sprung into the room only to stop dead when she found the room was empty.
Tomoyo got a sickly chill up her spine that something was wrong, horribly wrong.
She heard a sudden cry from Rhaya's cot pierce the tense atmosphere. Tomoyo ran over and picked her up, soothing the one week old child back to calmness.
This was the first time the child had cried. The child was always laughing in Sakura's arms. The instant love between Sakura and Rhaya was overwhelming. So why was Rhaya crying?
Tomoyo's eyes wandered onto the table where she saw a note. She picked it up and began to silently read as Rhaya cried in her other arm.
Tomoyo,
Forgive me, but I can see no other way.
Take care of her; you are more of a mother than I could ever be. I know you will give her the life she deserves.
Your kindness towards me is something I shall never forget, you truly are a good friend.
Raise Rhaya as your own, you were born to be a mother. She need never know where she came from.
I am so sorry,
S.
Enclosed was Sakura's chain from Li.
S.K 103
Tomoyo dropped the letter from her hand. Feeling weak at the knees she sat down onto a nearby chair. Rhaya's face became puffy and red as if she could feel the distance between her and her mother. Tomoyo looked around, it was just them now.
Tomoyo and Rhaya.
And it would be like that for the next fourteen years…
Tomoyo wiped her eyes and turned Rhaya around to face her.
"Mommy's gone Rhaya." Tomoyo said in a despairing voice.
She listened to the winds whistling through the empty house.
"Do you know something?" Tomoyo said with a wide smile that stopped Rhaya from crying. Rhaya tilted her head at the lavender beauty, welcoming her nurturing aura.
"Your Aunt Tomoyo is a huge believer of destiny. Everything happens for a reason. Your mommy and daddy love you Rhaya. I will never let you think any different! But they haven't left you. They are just at a bad point in their life right now. This will be just temporary. But one day, one day in the future, destiny will call. If its fate, you will see them again, I just know it! Just think of me as your third parent. I will love you so, so much Rhaya, but when the time comes, I will let you go, go towards your destiny. I can feel it! And you'll have a mommy and a daddy who will love you very much."
Tomoyo smiled at the child. She could feel herself getting attached to Sakura's child already, the unconditional love pumping into her veins.
"But until that day comes!" She said and stood up. "Let's make this house a home! Our home."
She kissed Rhaya on the head and began to sing a lullaby. Rhaya stared with a fascinated grin on her face, not knowing it yet, but for the next fourteen years, Tomoyo would become her world, her mother-like figure, her guardian angel, only to be torn apart tragically by the demons of her parent's past…
X x x
13 and A Half Years Ago
The dungeon was dingy, cold and carried and aura of death.
Just how Clow liked it.
Sakura crept along the corners and ran her hand lightly on the damp walls, feeling a chill up her spine. The Chinese air around her was darkly familiar. She arrived at a cell. Putting her hand against the cool rusted cell bars she peered into the prisoner within. He didn't stir or open his eyes. The dirt on his face made him almost unrecognisable. After starving and struggling to survive for months, Eriol's body became limp. He suffered in the cell through Tomoyo's wedding, through Sakura's pregnancy and through most of the Tomoeda struggles.
Sakura leaned down and unchained him. His limp body slumped to the floor.
"Get up." Sakura demanded and kicked him heartlessly.
Eriol's eyes flickered open.
Sakura dropped a bag by his side. "There's enough money here to get you back to Japan. Tomoyo's address is in there too. The guards come back in twenty minutes so whether you leave or not is your choice."
Sakura turned her back to walk away.
"Wait." Eriol croaked as he struggled to sit up. "Why are you letting me go?"
Sakura sighed and turned to face him. The green essence of her eyes had left her eyes and left behind a bleakness that Eriol could not comprehend. He knew that the woman that stood before him was no longer Sakura Kinomoto, lover of Syaoran Li, but a woman whose humanity, over time, broke down to the level of a cold hearted killer.
"Because there are so few acts of kindness left in me. Don't worry Eriol, we'll see each other again." She said with a dead smile on her face that gave Eriol shivers… before she disappeared into the hollow corridor…
X x x
Sakura stood in front of Yue's room with an intention of easing her numbed heart.
She pushed the door back to reveal Yue sitting on the bed, toned and tanned arms working hard to polish his gun. His silky whitish hair tied back into a small rough ponytail. His high cheekbones were more pronounced in the moonlight and his grey eyes were fixed on his task at hand.
He was so dedicated, so proud of his work, so gifted in the craft of killing that Sakura felt both physically and sexually attracted to him. She watched him work until his eyes paused and lulled up slowly to meet her face.
Sakura looked back, not too sure of why she was there, just enjoying looking at him with a strange intention. He said nothing to her. Instead, he mumbled quietly, "So you came back."
She didn't stir at the roughness of his voice, but instead, relished at how different it was to Syaoran's. Everything about Yue was different to Syaoran. Yue was in love with a side of Sakura that she despised, while Syaoran fell for her human side, the side to her that would always be overshadowed by Clow and Li.
Sakura didn't answer. Instead, she slowly drifted into his room, slightly pleased that he didn't bring a woman home this night. She paused in front of him and with dead eyes she stared blankly at him and said, "You said you loved me, how could you possibly mean that?"
Yue stopped and breathed in deeply. "I've was born and raised in Clow, I don't know what 'love' really is. All I know is that you are the only person I would take a bullet for, next to Clow. That, Sakura, it the highest amount of love people like us can ever expect to have. I can't give you anything, nor can I promise you anything but my admiration." He stood up, towering over her with gun in hand and peered into his grey eyes. "You were born to be an assassin Sakura, this is what people like you and me were made for. We're the tough ones. I don't expect anything that you and Syaoran had because it's simply, not possible. But I will never hurt you like he did."
Sakura did not move when Yue's fingers pressed against her cheek delicately. Sakura understood. With Yue's words she resigned to her fate. She was an assassin, not made for love, not worthy.
"Be Mine." He whispered and closed in tighter to her.
Sakura's eyes met his. "I can't love you Yue. There's just no more love in me anymore. I don't want to love again…"
Yue's grey eyes saddened. "What if I killed Syaoran for you? Could you love me then?"
Again Sakura shook her head. "No. I want to be the one to do that if the time comes."
"Then what do you want from me Sakura. You know I want you. I don't want anyone else to have you. You're killing me here…"
"I want…" Sakura said in a strangely seductive way and unbuttoning her shirt. "You to numb the pain. I want to forget about him. Just another one of your women."
Yue loved her in a dark and strange way. She would be his companion in work, but never his love, and never he as hers. A strained relationship that would help her forget Syaoran, over time…
"Oh Sakura," He said not being able to resist her willingness and need for him. "You will never be 'another' woman. Let me be your lover, I'll make you forget about Syaoran. I'll kill him before I see you with him again."
With that, he pushed her onto the bed. She fell like a rag doll that was pulled so many directions that her frustration and heartache had made her limp. Yue crawled on top of her, undressed her and kissed her out of passion. He didn't want to accept being second to Syaoran.
He lusted for her, wanted every part of her and took it knowing that by sunrise, it would just be another work day…
X x x
Tomoyo hear the doorbell sound for the first time in a year.
Her knees shook intensely as she rose from her seat. One year old Rhaya gurgles in her high chair unsuspicious of the situation. Her brown curling hair shook as her head swivelled from right to left. Tomoyo gave her a fake reassuring smile as she took the grabbed the shot gun from about the kitchen press.
Placing the bullets into the gun her fingers gave away her nervousness. Tomoyo never used a gun before. But in order to protect Rhaya, she would kill as many as if took.
"Who is it?" She tried to ask in her sweet voice only to fail at the last syllable.
No noise came from the door, no reply but she could see a figure standing behind it.
Slowly she turned the door handle and peered out at the mysterious figure.
Eriol stood there in his six foot frame, hair jet black and his face was without a mark. He was so…fresh, god-like and real that it took Tomoyo's breath away. The gun slipped out of her hands and landed with a harsh thump.
Eriol reacted the same. In his casual clothes he smiled down at his beloved whom he thought he had lost forever. Reunited by Sakura's kindness Tomoyo slammed her body against his and wrapped her arms so tightly around his neck that it became an unbreakable knot. His scent overwhelmed her.
Convinced he was real she broke down. All the heartache she suffered was not in vein. Her waiting and hope had paid off. He was back.
And when his lips crushed down on hers Tomoyo and Eriol were convinced that their struggle was truly over.
For the next four years they lived the blissful life they always wanted. Tomoyo, Eriol and Rae. One family. Rhaya would never remember that Eriol was the first real father figure she ever had, only for Tomoeda troubles to call him away more frequent as the years went by until…Eriol became but a distant visitor of Tomoyo, and less of a father figure in Rhaya's mind. Rhaya would never realize that Eriol truly loved her deeply and for some point, regarded her as his daughter.
Until tragedy broke them apart…
X x x
6 Months Ago: Sakura's POV
"Ms Sakura!"
I whirled my head around and saw Fuutie, now my loyal and faithful assistant run towards me. She ran with that ever present grin no matter what the circumstance was.
The wind whipped through my hair on the rooftop. All was busy in Shanghai.
"Ms Sakura is it true? Is it true we're attacking the Li Organization in Japan soon?" She asked with huge brown eyes.
I nodded. Thirteen years and six months to this day it's been since I grovelled for Clow to accept me back and became dominant within it. We've fought off so many organizations, we are the kings of China's underworld, now for Japan, where Syaoran and Li would be.
My heart is numb completely now.
Blood shall be shed, and no mercy given.
"Yes." I answered which made her grin fade.
"But you…and Yue and Kero…."
"I warned you child," I snapped. "I warned you not to fall in love with him."
She looked to the ground. "I can't help it Ms Sakura, I love him. Haven't you ever loved someone so much that you wanted nothing more than for them to be safe at all costs?" She asked, her innocence radiating.
I picked up a loose rock and clutched it in my hand. Smelling the earth of it I thought deeply to myself. There was someone whom I deeply loved every day for nearly fourteen years. And she needs my silent protection.
My Rhaya, whose face I struggle to picture now…I shall protect her even from afar.
"I need you to do something for me Fuutie, I need you to warn someone of something."
I took out a pen and scribbled a life-saving message onto it.
Giving it to Fuutie, I sent her to Japan with a mission. With that rock she went to the sleepy Valley in Japan on my daughters 14th birthday. She threw the rock through the window and with its loud crash Tomoyo picked it up, sensing nothing too strange.
She read the note attached to it.
We are coming soon, run.
S.
X x x
Everything was set in place from the moment Fuutie threw the message through the window.
Sakura's intensions were to bring Rhaya to safety. Instead, Tomoyo chose to act as destiny. Instead of fleeing with Rhaya, she departed from her knowing that Rhaya deserved to know her parents. Tomoyo knew Rhaya was a special child; she would change Syaoran and Sakura's lives, and her own for the better.
That morning of Rhaya's fourteenth birthday her life changed dramatically…
Which brings us to the now…
X x x
So there you have nearly everything relevant that happened within the fourteen years!
I know there's not much story line progression here but I needed to tie loose ends!
Hope you enjoyed!
R&R!