Title: The Basics of Primary Ed., Part 35
Author: Caera1996
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: This part strong PG-13/R. Overall NC-17.
Disclaimer: 35 parts later, still not mine.
Summary: Kindergarten AU – Jim is a kindergarten teacher. Leonard is the parent of a student. This part: Making it right.

"I'm going to call him."

"Aurelan…" Sam paused in his preparation of the vegetables for the salad and looked up with an exasperated expression on his face.

"What? I've never seen Jim like this. Leonard should know." Sam sighed and looked back down to the cutting board. Yesterday, Jim called him at work and last night Sam shared with Aurelan what had happened. Earlier today, Aurelan took it upon herself to visit Jim at his place, just to check in on him. She stayed for a while, making tea that Jim didn't drink and trying to engage Jim in a conversation he wasn't interested in. Jim was polite, but it was obvious he wanted to be left alone and she was intruding. Aurelan didn't take it personally. This was just the way Jim was – he pulled away when he was upset. She'd seen it before. But this was different; not even when their mother died had Aurelan seen Jim like this. He didn't seem sad or hurt, so much as lost, and that was so much more disturbing.

"Like I told Jim, Leonard just needs some time. He'll come around. But calling him to talk about Jim, Aurelan, that would be a mistake. Neither of them would appreciate that, and they'd both end up angry with you for stick…" Sam trailed off, catching himself before saying something that would undoubtedly land him in trouble. Not fast enough apparently. Aurelan raised an eyebrow and folded her arms, meeting her husband's gaze across the room before turning back to what she was doing.

"For what, dear? Sticking my nose in?" Sam dumped the vegetables into a bowl atop the lettuce. He regarded his wife as she set the dinner table. He loved that she was concerned for Jim, but sometimes she wanted to be more involved than was probably a good idea. He knew it was because she cared and wanted to see Jim happy – and he hadn't been, for so long – but still.

"Yes. They're grown adults…they can work it out for themselves," he said.

"But-" She was interrupted by the phone ringing. Putting down the silverware, she picked up the handset.

"Hello?"

"Hi Aurelan, it's Leonard."

"Leonard!" she exclaimed, glancing up at her husband. He paused briefly, sending her a warning look. She waved him off. "How are you? How's Joanna?"

"Fine – we're fine. Uhh…did you hear about what happened at the school?"

"Yes…Jim called yesterday."

"Ah. Well, you know how resilient kids are…we were pretty much back to business as usual by last night as far as she is concerned. It's like nothing happened." And she has no idea how much danger she was actually in.

"Well, and thank god for that. I could hardly believe it when Jim told us how fast it had happened," she replied. There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"So…you've talked to Jim." Not quite a statement or a question, Aurelan confirmed.

"Yes, he called Sam yesterday and I went over to his place today."

"How…how is he doing?" Aurelan met Sam's eyes over the kitchen island. Leonard brought it up. She wasn't going to lie to him.

"He's really upset," she answered. Sam rolled his eyes at her. "About all of it. He feels guilty as hell." She paused. When Leonard didn't say anything, she figured she may as well continue. He had asked, after all. "And he's worried that you won't forgive him for what happened." Leonard sighed. He could hear the accusation in Aurelan's voice. He wasn't endearing himself to them by making Jim feel this way. The Kirk family was nothing if not loyal to each other.

"I'm not proud of the way I reacted, Aurelan," he said. "But you must understand how…how-"

"I get it, Leonard. I really do. It's terrifying. Especially when all you can think about is what could have happened. It happened to us…Sam lost Janie for two hours at a theme park when she was three – and I was furious. But it happens. All it takes is a second for them to get away from you. We were just glad Janie was safe."

"Yeah. Terrifying doesn't even begin to cover it. I just can't even imagine…" Leonard trailed off, unwilling to let himself complete that thought. "Listen…I know it's really short notice, but I was wondering if you would mind taking Joanna for the night? I can pick her up in the morning and drop her at daycare, but I need to go talk to Jim." Hearing that, Aurelan's voice softened.

"Of course Joanna is welcome to come over. And you don't have to worry about picking her up tomorrow…I know Janie would love to spend the day with her."

"That would be fantastic. I know she'd much rather spend the day with Janie than at the hospital daycare."

"Janie will be thrilled to have a playmate tomorrow. Has Joanna had dinner?"

"No, but I could feed her before bringing her over."

"Oh don't worry about it – we haven't eaten yet either so I'll just set her a place."

"Aurelan…thank you so much for – well, for everything."

"Not at problem Leonard. Joanna is welcome here anytime," she paused. "We all love you two. You've become part of our family."

"And you all are part of ours."

Leonard parked in Jim's lot and turned the car off. He sat there for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts, and try to coax his heart out of his throat and back where it belonged. He had no idea how Jim was going to react to his announced visit. The longer he thought about how harshly he'd acted, the worse he felt. He could just imagine how Jim was feeling right now. Probably pissed. Would Jim even want to talk to him?

Come on Leonard. Man up. Taking a deep breath, he exited the car. He knocked on Jim's door, resisting the urge to shift his weight from foot to foot nervously. Jim opened the door after a couple of minutes, and Leonard registered how his tired eyes widened in surprise. He looked like he hadn't slept properly since it happened. He probably hadn't. Neither had Leonard.

"Bones," Jim said.

"Hey," Leonard replied quietly. "We need to talk…can I come in?" Jim let his gaze fall and his shoulders seemed to slump, but he opened the door wider and stepped back.

"Where's Joanna?"

"At Aurelan's." Leonard made his way in to Jim's apartment, bypassing the kitchen. Jim followed him into the family room.

"Really?" Jim asked. Leonard registered his tone and looked over at him curiously.

"Yeah, why?" Jim shrugged and sat on the couch, rubbing a hand over his face. Leonard sat, too, eyeing him. This was not what Leonard expected at all. He expected Jim to be angry, or at least annoyed. He even expected that he would start getting all psychologically technical about the way Leonard had overreacted. He didn't expect this.

"So…did you talk to Detective Lilly Carmichael?"

Jim nodded. "Yeah…after you left with Joanna she spoke with me," he answered. His voice was soft, his eyes downcast. Not Jim at all.

"No…I mean, did she call you yesterday?"

"No, why?"

"She called me last night. They caught him. Spock gave a good description and they caught him."

"That – that's good news," Jim replied, looking up to meet Leonard's eyes for the first time. It was just a brief glance, but he could see the relief there. "Thank god," he added quietly.

"Yeah," Leonard sighed. "Carmichael said they were going to be charging him with crimes more serious than kidnapping…that there were other children who were his victims." Leonard watched all the color drain out of Jim's face and his fist clenched in his lap as he absorbed this information. "Jim – she's my daughter and he could have…just-"

This is it. It's over. "I know – oh, god. I know. I'm so sorry." Jim leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, holding his head in his hands. There was no way Leonard would ever forgive him for this. How could he?

Leonard quietly observed Jim. He'd figured that Jim felt guilty, but this didn't even come close to what he'd imagined based on what Aurelan described on the phone earlier. He never meant to make Jim feel like this, never really expected that he would, and he couldn't stand that he was the reason Jim was so miserable. He didn't deserve that. Jim loved Joanna – and of course it was an accident. An accident that could've ended horribly, but didn't. It was obvious that Jim was living under that knowledge and guilt, and that it weighed heavily on him.

Leonard wanted to reach out to him, but he wasn't sure how he would be received. After a moment of indecision, he decided that he didn't care, Leonard reached out to grasp Jim's arm. He sat up, looking at Leonard uncertainly. Drawing Jim to him, Leonard wrapped his arms around him and rested his head on Jim's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Leonard said. Jim's arms came up around Leonard automatically, but he didn't return the embrace. Not really. Leonard's heart sank…Jim always responded to him. What had he done? Had he managed to hurt him so badly, push him away so effectively, that Jim finally decided he wasn't worth it?

Jim squeezed his eyes closed and swallowed hard. This was it. Leonard was saying goodbye. He'd tried to prepare himself for this, knowing it was a real possibility. He'd screwed up with Joanna…how could he expect any other outcome? Still, even knowing this was probably coming, it hurt. It hurt more than Jim expected it would. It felt like there was an empty feeling in the center of him. But, he would be okay. He would fill that emptiness with friends, his family, his work…he'd be okay.

"Jim, I'm so sorry…" Leonard was talking to him, but he could hardly hear what he was saying he was concentrating so hard on keeping it together. He wouldn't fall apart now, like this. He wouldn't let himself. "Jim…please. Say something."

Say something? Jim thought. What is there to say? His arms tightened around Jim even more. He wished Leonard wouldn't. It just made it worse.

"I never meant to hurt you," Leonard said, when Jim remained silent. "I was just scared and I wasn't thinking straight. I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me?"

Wait, what? Forgive him?

"Y-you're…" His voice came out hoarsely. He cleared his throat and tried again. "You're not breaking up with me?" Leonard grasped Jim by his shoulders and pushed back so he could look in his eyes.

"Breaking up with you? No, you idiot. I'm trying to apologize for being such an asshole."

Jim stared at Leonard for a second, trying to comprehend what he was saying while holding off a rush of relief…because if he was mistaken it would be devastating. He gently pulled away as he ran that sentence through his head again. Leonard was relieved to see a tentative smile pulling at the corners of his mouth after a moment; his blue eyes clearing of the sadness that had clouded them earlier.

"You're…not breaking up with me, but you're calling me an idiot?"

"Yes." Leonard paused, realizing how that sounded. Whatever. "And I'm apologizing for the way I treated you. You didn't deserve that…" Leonard trailed off as Jim shook his head.

"No, I'm sorry. You were right to be so angry. I should've been paying more attention," Jim said. Leonard didn't stop him; he actually agreed with him. But he could see that Jim really understood and believed that. There was nothing he could say to drive the point home any further. Jim took a deep breath and looked away. When he looked back up, his eyes were wet. "I can't imagine what I would've done if anything happened to her. I-" he broke off, swallowing hard and looking away again, embarrassed by his tears. "I thought you were here to break it off…and I wouldn't have blamed you."

Leonard moved closer to Jim, placing his hands on his shoulders. He ducked his head a little to catch Jim's lips with his own. He kissed Jim, drawing it out, coaxing Jim to let go of the cloak of guilt and sadness that had weighed so heavily on him, and come back to himself. Leonard used his thumb to gently wipe the moisture from Jim's face. They parted, resting forehead to forehead.

"I love you," Jim breathed. "And I thought I'd lost you." Leonard held Jim tenderly, guiding them down, squeezing together on the couch. Legs entwined to make room for the both of them, and Leonard toed off his shoes, letting them fall to the floor one at a time.

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere. I was angry, but breaking up with you never even crossed my mind." He looked down into Jim's eyes and leaned in to kiss him again. "I'm sorry I made you think that, but you need to know that I am not going to leave you." Jim shifted his gaze and flushed slightly. He was self-aware enough to know that he'd not only jumped to that conclusion as quickly, and as certainly, as he had because of his abandonment issues. He also knew that Leonard knew that. When he brought his gaze back to Leonard's he found him smiling slightly. "I love you, too, you know."

Jim nodded. "I know." Jim brought his hands to Leonard's head and guided him for another kiss. Jim pulled away and gently nipped at his jaw, licking over the spot to soothe the sting. He felt Leonard shift over him and they moved together, enjoying the feel of each other's presence.

"Do you have to get Joanna?" Jim asked.

"No, she's sleeping over."

"Mmm…good," Jim whispered.

"Yeah." Jim let out a groan as one of Leonard's hands pressed over the front of his jeans, causing Jim to thrust up as much as he could with the weight of the other man on him.

"You know," Jim said, sounding slightly breathless. "I have another place to lie down in this apartment that's much more comfortable than this couch."

"But that would mean getting up…and I kinda like that I can do this…" he pressed again, this time rubbing firmly, watching as Jim arched as much as he could into the pressure until he stopped again. "…and keep you in place." Jim smiled at him, thrilled with how bold Bones was becoming.

"Getting a little kinky, there, Bones?" Jim asked, trying to get a reaction out of him. To his surprise, it wasn't the one he was expecting. Bones flushed slightly, but smiled and shrugged.

"What can I say, Jim. You're the one who was always talking about broadening my horizons when we first met," he replied.

"True," he said. And he was thrilled that they were going to have more opportunities to do that together.