Notes: I've got a good idea of what I want to do for the Funeral Chapter. I've picked the music. And yeah, I'll have Ichigo singing it. And maybe Uryu too. Idunno. I'll have to see who accompanies Ichi.

"Yaaahahahaaaaaa!" Hiyori cackled at the grill. "We have for your yakuniku pleasure tonight, peppers, hot peppers, onions, stew beef, chicken……." There was a gulp of pleasure from several drooling vaizard mouths. "clams… lamb… these beef gut things… mushrooms aaaaand… shrimp! We have three different sauces to pick from."

She happily carried over a tray of fixings and bamboo skewers to the trestle table.

"To drink, lemonade, rally cola, birch beer, hard cider, Samuel Adams all the way from the US of A…"

"Which you've probably already imbibed." Grumbled Shinji.

"I want beer…" Kensei grumbled. "If she was going to take a taste she could have picked me to taste it…"

"Or me…" Rose added.

"Or me…" Love agreed.

A sandal bounced off all three of their heads. "YOU WOULD HAVE DRUNK IT ALL!"

Hitsugaya hid behind Shinji. "Are they always like this?"

"Pretty much." Shinji laughed.

"We have Corona… and for Hachi that Itallian wine stuff he likes." Hiyori walked down a line of closed coolers, kicking the lids across the training ground in a show of gleeful aggression. Hitsugaya came to the conclusion that Hiyori was, indeed, drunk.

BANG! Lid one hit the thirty yard line.

BANG! Lid two hit the fifty.

BANG!

BANG!! That last one must have reached the far end of the training ground!

Hitsugaya blinked. This girl was scary. Even to a captain.

"Now boys, be nice. Pick your fixings, and we have three huge watermelons for dessert." Hiyori told the other Vaizard happily.

Huge was the operative word. Hitsugaya's eyes lit up as Hiyori kicked open the cooler keeping the watermelon cold. They were half buried in ice, and as large as a good sized Halloween pumpkin each!

Instantly the cooler carrying the watermelon started to mist over as the watermelons frosted to juuuuuuuust the right temperature. Hitsugaya was nearly drooling. Forget the booze, here was something /far/ preferable to alcohol.

"Can I have some watermelon?" Hitsugaya asked as they gathered around the table.

"I'm not cutting it up yet. Wait until the drinks are out and everything is cooking." Hiyori grunted. "Shinji, you brought this random shinigami here /why/?"

"On a whim." Shinji replied absently. "Got a problem with that?"

"Nope." Hiyori grunted. "To be clear, I hate Shinigami, and I hate humans. But I'm one, and this is a group. So unless a majority of the group doesn't want him around, I'm not going to do a damn thing."

"Sounds like you've been leading for awhile." Hitsugaya commented.

"I lead by necessity. Vaizard form troupes, we have territories, most of us have a distrust of shinigami, but we're willing to give you a chance if you don't act like bigots. Each troupe has two alphas, one male, one female. We take care of the group, like a pack of wolves." Hiyori's hands were moving among the pots, picking vegetables and meats.

"Lots of us were cast out of the soul society needlessly, simply because our hollow halves were eating us alive. But it turns out that there's a stabilizing ritual that allows us to bring those inner hollows under control. They interact with our zanpakuto, they ask sometimes to be let out, simply so they can taste the air, they offer input into a battle. You'd be surprised, a shinigami sees things one way, a hollow sees things quite the other. Vaizard tend to often make a battle decision that lies somewhere between the two."

Lisa kicked the boombox, then turned up the volume. SOS by Rhianna (yes, Hitsugaya knew the song, thanks to Matsumoto singing it all over the house their last stint in the living world together.) The song in itself wasn't what drove Hitsugaya insane, it was Matsumoto thinking that singing it was annoying enough to get her out of doing paperwork. Then she taught it to Kiyone, who thought it was just darling. Kiyone teased Nanao with it, who joined him in having a headache. Then Yachiru heard and that was the end of Rhianna's musical career in the Soul Society. Hitsugaya would definitely make sure that his Lieutenant was busy /elsewhere/ when the bid went out to konso the celebrity somewhere down the road. But he'd had to do that anyway.

John Lennon for example. The Beetle guy that one. He'd had to restrain Matsumoto's sudden enthusiasm for a visit to London. And her ruse of being interested in the architecture didn't fool him in the slightest.

In the end, Unohana was designated official Beetle konso'er in order to keep Rangiku, Momo, Yachiru, Kiyone, and half the shinigami women's association from tearing each other apart. And similar shenanigans ensued /every/ time a celebrity died.

Hitsugaya hated that. But he liked music. He looked up at the ceiling/sky of the training area and said. "You guys are pretty festive down here."

"Lisa just likes her music. Besides, when Love starts singing, its bad. He's good at playing, but forget his voice."

Shinji put a possessive hand on Hitsugaya's shoulder. "Go ahead, pick your meal. We all take turns at cooking. But Hiyori's best at it."

Hitsugaya asked. "Can I just have the watermelon?" Trying to hide the sparkle in his eyes.

"You're not going to eat some of the yakuniku?" Hiyori asked, concerned.

"Okay, then maybe you could cut some cubes of it and put it in my drink?"

"Watermelon in your /beer?/"

"Why should I drink beer?"

"You mean you don't drink alcohol?"

"I had sake once. But I didn't like it too much."

A brown bottle, cold and frosted, was put in his hand. "Try this."

"What's that?"

"Samuel Adams Summer Ale." (1) Hiyori replied with a grin. "Now eat with it. Otherwise your pretty white head will be all muddled up. Shinji here might take advantage of you…"

Shinji's ears turned red. "HIYORIIIIIIIIII!!!!!" He screeched, mortified.

"He's not a substitute Shinji. You don't just fall, you plummet. Make him your Only, not your Rebound."

Hitsugaya mulled over that, over the drink. He put together two spits and handed them to Hiyori. But he was on his second beer by the time they were full.

Food, the second beer, and Shinji sitting next to him had Hitsugaya feeling goofy. He rubbed up against Shinji like a cat. "Hiyori cooks so well…"

"Seconds?"

"And more beer! Its soooooo much better than sake." Hitsugaya purred as he got up and pulled together more meat.

He finished the beer. And the meat. And when the third came around he was drunk enough to put cubes of watermelon in instead of ice cubes. Then more watermelon was put on his plate.

"I don't think I've seen /anybody/ eat that much watermelon!" Hiyori commented.

"Babe…" A drunken hitsugaya slurred. "I was a kid when I ate ten of them." (2)

"……" All the vaizard stared.

Suddenly Kensei pushed his plate of watermelon back. "Suddenly I don't want watermelon anymore."

They gathered around to watch Hitsugaya drink beer and eat watermelon. Periodically he'd rub affectionately against Shinji like a fluffy white kitten.

Shinji felt himself slowly opening up, maybe it was the alcohol. Vaizard by nature are not the most forthcoming of spirits. Too many centuries of distrust and abuse by others made them feel vulnerable if they get too close to people, and not used to physical affection of any kind.

"You're going to make yourself sick." Commented Hiyori. "At least stop drinking the beer."

Suddenly a machine gun rattle of watermelon seeds hit her smack between the eyes. (3)

The vaizard all stared, again. "If you weren't clearly drunk I would kill you." Hiyori growled.

"Hehheh, you'd have to catch me first Baby Spice." Hitsugaya stuck his tongue out. "Heeeeey…" He slurred. "I can still spit like a machine gun! I thought I'd lost that ability."

"Okay…" Love peered. "No more beer for Hitsugaya-san."

Hachi gulped at his wine, the tips of his ears rosy. "He just has a low alcohol tolerance. The bigger you are, the more it takes to get you drunk. And vice versa. I can drink three bottles of this and only get sauced when I start on the fourth."

"I kin… I can talorate it…" Hitsugaya purred, then he rubbed against Shinji again.

"Are you alright there?" Shinji asked.

"mmmm perfectly…" Hitsugaya groaned, snuggling against Shinji.

Shinji squirmed as suddenly Hitsugaya was half sprawled across his lap. "Okay, I think you'd better get to bed. No more watermelon for you."

"Can't I have something to drink before I go to bed?"

"NO!!!!!" Was the resounding yell from all present.

Shinji sighed. "Come on Hitsugaya."

"Cawl me Toushirow." Hitsugaya offered his first name.

Shinji sighed again, helping Hitsugaya to his feet. "Come on Toushiro-taichou then. You're staying with me tonight. There's a spare cot."

They entered Shinji's tent, Hitsugaya refused to let go, pulling Shinji onto his lap, and on Shinji's cot not his. "Will you stay with me Shinji?" Hitsugaya's eyes pleaded with him.

Shinji felt Yaminji warning him. This one is drunk. He is New. You know him not. He knows you not. Do not touch him.

Shinji sighed. He kissed Hitsugaya on the forehead, then a second kiss to the lips.

Hitsugaya flushed, moaning into the kiss and pushing back eagerly to deepen it. Shinji gasped. His elbows propping him up over the smaller one. Hitsugaya wrapped his arms around Shinji's neck. Shinji broke the kiss and planted smaller ones on his neck and shoulders.

Hitsugaya hissed in pleasure. His mind was hazed from the alcohol. He was suddenly very lonely. He wanted more than anything for Shinji to take away his frustration.

Nothing's worse than being a 200 plus old teenager. Why wouldn't his body grow? His weak and frail snow pale body…

He knew the mechanics of sex, what he wanted was the experience. Feeling himself slowly come alive. Shinji continued laying kisses on his shoulder and neck. "Damnit, Shinji just…"

"I shouldn't…"

"I came here to…"

"I guessed, you saw me, you wanted to lose your innocence. I understand how frustrated you are. And I am willing to get to know you. But I don't want you to be bound to me, either in spirit or in memory." Shinji whispered softly.

"I don't care…" Hitsugaya said softly, almost crossly. His face was flushed from Shinji's ministrations and he was fully erect now. "I want this…" He buried his face in the vaizard's shoulder. "Please?"

Shinji sighed. "Give me a moment, I have a potion and charms. Hitsugaya you really shouldn't…"

"Call me Toushiro." Hitsugaya closed his eyes as Shinji went to a bedside drawer and came back with two vials, a pair of charms, and a tube of lubricant that could double as oil as well. "Please…" He pleaded.

"Alright, Toushiro." Shinji offered Hitsugaya one of the vials. The liquid inside was bright blue, bubbly like soda and bitter. Hitsugaya didn't care, tossing it back like it was a gikon.

He tossed aside his clothing, clasping the charm to his waist, although Shinji had far fewer clothes to remove. Normally Hitsugaya would have hung up his coat. Tonight he callously tossed the haori aside, sloughing off the constricting trappings of rank.

He looked up at Shinji. "Please… I don't want to be lonely."

Shinji uncorked the cap with his teeth and planted butterfly kisses against Hitsugaya's stomach. Hitsugaya giggled drunkenly and sighed contentedly.

"You have no need to be alone anymore……" Shinji rumbled softly.

Notes: Yeah, short I know. Oh well…… I have Chapter 36 written already. I want to get to it. But I have some funny stuff to do first. But trust me, you're going to like 36.

Reccomended by the makers (Samuel Adams) for your summertime beer pleasure!

Momo's flashback episode. Hitsugaya had a stack of watermelon slices next to him bigger than he was. And I'm pretty sure Momo only had a few.

Again, Momo flashback episode. He did that to her when she called him Shiro-chan.