"How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home."-Evanescence 'Bring Me to Life'

Spencer woke on the first of January with Maggie curled tightly around him. There had been a time when he always woke with her holding onto him as if for dear life but over the months that they had been together she had relaxed and aside from the run in with Paul Mason she usually was just draped lazily around him. This morning she was clinging to him and even in sleep she was tense. He had a feeling the night before that something was bothering her. He knew she had anxiety problems and that sometimes she would have full on panic attacks but something didn't seem right when she began to have problems the night before. Her affect even while sleeping was nothing short of confirmation of his unease. He stroked her hair and tightened his grip around her which usually helped to soothe her but there was no change in the way she gripped him. He didn't want to wake her but he knew that her sleep when she was filled with such anxiety wasn't restful anyway.

"Maggie, honey, wake up darling."

She whimpered and held him even tighter.

"Maggie, you need to wake up now sweetheart."

She shook her head against him. She was awake but just didn't want to deal with something in her reality.

"Baby, I need you to talk to me. Please, I can't help you if you bottle everything."

"I don't want to."

"Sweetie, you're upset and I can tell that. Please let me help you."

"Please don't make me Spencer; I really don't want to deal with this."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, my love, you are perfect. I just don't want to talk about this is all."

"Maggie, you've been having nightmares and panic attacks and you are back to holding me like a life preserver when you sleep. You aren't getting any decent sleep lately and it's starting to really affect your mood. I'm really worried about you and I need to know what this is about."

Maggie was crying by this point and Spencer felt horrible for badgering her but she really needed to let whatever it was out.

"I didn't want to burden you with this but I just found out that Paul Mason's trial is in two weeks. I thought I was dealing okay with everything but I guess it all just fell apart when I got that news."

"Why didn't you tell me there was going to be a trial?"

"I told you I didn't want it messing with you too."

"He's pleading not guilty?"

"I guess he's pleading diminished capacity or something. Do you think he could go free?"

"I don't see any way that he could. He stalked you and ultimately assaulted you and in addition to all that, he assaulted a federal agent. Even if the claim of diminished capacity was accepted, he'd have to be institutionalized in some way."

"But what if he's not put away?"

"Sweetheart is this what's been bothering you? Do you think he'll come after you again?"

She nodded still crying.

"I won't let that happen. Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

That makes one of us, he thought to himself but held her tighter feeling somewhat encouraged by the faith that she had in him.

Returning to work Spencer was climbing the stairs toward Hotch's office.

"Hey, Reid, how was New Year's?"

"Later Morgan."

He walked to Hotch's door and knocked. Hearing a response from inside, he entered.

"Hotch?"

"What can I do for you Reid?"

"I need some of your legal expertise."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing really, Maggie's just worried because Paul Mason is going to trial in a couple of weeks. He's pleading diminished capacity and she's terrified that he could go free. That couldn't really happen, could it?"

"I don't see any way conceivable. You know he's facing federal charges as well?"

"I know. I just really want to be able to reassure her. She's having trouble sleeping and she's completely on edge. She had an anxiety attack that cut the New Year's partying short."

"I'll have a talk with the prosecutors on the case. We should be able to at the very least make sure that he is hospitalized if he's not in prison. Tell Maggie that she's safe and we won't let him get to her."

"Thanks Hotch."

Spencer left Hotch's office wanting to feel better but still unsure of how things would play out and not at all confident of his ability to help Maggie feel more at ease. Did all men feel so insecure about their ability to protect their families or was he just a wimp?

"Are you going to talk to me now?"

"Yeah sorry Morgan, I just had some stuff on my mind."

Morgan just gestured to his office and Reid followed him in and plopped down into a chair sighing loudly.

"So what's wrong? You look like you're being chased."

"Maggie's upset about the trial. Hotch says there shouldn't be anything to worry about but I don't know what to do for her. I'm supposed to protect her and keep her safe, right? I don't know how to do that. What kind of man can't keep his family safe? I'm going to make some terrific husband, aren't I?"

"Slow yourself down there youngster. There isn't a man out there who hasn't doubted his ability to keep the people he loves safe and no matter who you are, you know that bad things can still happen. Look at Hotch. He's an FBI agent, he's ex-SWAT and he's a former federal prosecutor and look what happened. You are there for her and you give her something that no one else ever has in her life. You're on the inside so you know better than I do what that is but I think it's in the way you just accept her for what she is and what she isn't. That right there is all you can do."

"Could you be satisfied with that?"

"Hey, you're ahead of me as it is, kid. You actually found a woman that wants to spend the rest of her life with you. I don't have that. I know that all of the training I have had doesn't guarantee that something bad won't happen to someone I love. It's hard to accept but worry or insecurity doesn't make you less a man. Personally I think you'll be a damned fine husband to Maggie."

Spencer went back to his desk feeling a little better for the pep talk and he dialed Maggie's number to check on her and tell her what Hotch had said. Hopefully this would help her feel more at ease.