Disclaimer: I do not own anyone from Narnia, but I do own this fanfic.

Ok so we're back to the real world! Well…that is, if you count Narnia as the real world. But anyways, back to business. Still lots of chapters to go, not to mention a sequel, and I'm running short with time. Sorry sorry sorry for the long wait. But school is a lot of work and it's impossible to update every other day. Now it will be like every month or something. But when Christmas break comes ill be back on my A game!

Even though I will forever be pissed off at the fact that Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has been moved from November to July. How could they! Oh well, at least Twilight is coming out early!

So yes, thank you for bearing the long three chapters of Jade's dream. That's quite a past she's had in her world. It would be a shame if she were to choose to go back to it all…

But just as I reminder, I want to let you all to feel free to review and e-mail me if you have and questions or suggestions. I'm open to anything. I'd also feel really bad if I made a mistake or left something out or if you, the reader, didn't understand something. Just let me know if anything is bothering you and I will be here to help! I know the last few chapters may have been a bit confusing and all, and that's why I'm just reminding you all to give me advice and feedback and let me know it something is bothering you! Other than that, positive feedback reviews are always appreciated! Reviews have been down lately, and that makes me sad :(

Now on with the story…

……………………………………………………………………

Chapter 35: To the Man I Love

……………………………………………………………………

Your POV

You couldn't sleep. You couldn't breath. You couldn't even seem to move. You just sat there, perched motionless on your bed while all of your memories swam throughout your brain as if they had been there all along; like they were all being trapped in some desolate cage in the corner of your mind and somebody just came up and undid the hinges, letting them all run free in every direction.

You were deathly still, and paler than usual. It was like you were in a trance, unable and unwillingly to move unless someone threatened you to. How long had it been since you had woken from that strikingly realistic dream?

Was all that really true? Was that what you would be going home to? You knew the part about Alex was real, and you would go back to her no matter what. But you were starting to question whether everything else was as bad as the portals made them out to be. If you were able to survive eighteen years of your miserable life unscathed, then how horrible could it actually be?

Still motionless on your bed, you realized that you could now see the objects that were in front of you. You were about to question what time it was, but then realize that people here in Narnia did not count time the way you did back in your world.

Your room was illuminated by the rising sun. It wasn't the dark and black pit it had been when you woke up. Things were in your range of view now, and you curiously wondered how long you had been sitting on your bed without moving and inch.

"What am I supposed to do?" you whispered. Because not only did that dream make you realize how much you wanted to go home, but it also showed you how much you needed to be here in Narnia. And for your own sake, not for anyone else's. Who cared about the doors anymore, you were unconditionally attached to everyone and everything about Narnia. Home would never be the same.

And you were sure that there was a rule somewhere that said you could only live in one world. Not two.

"…two worlds…one home. Which will you give up in exchange for the other… choose wisely…"

The lady's words unwillingly swirled through your head. You knew what had to be done.

You lifted a hand and touched your swollen cheeks. They were wet and numb, like how a drowned corpse should feel. Mushy and lifeless. But that was how your usually pale skin felt now. You subconsciously wondered what you looked like, now that you felt like a fish. Probably hideous.

But without taking one glance in the mirror, you pulled together the strength to move. You got up off your bed, your body achy from not moving for an unknown amount of time, and got dressed without uttering a sound. And you weren't surprised at all from the outfit you chose.

Your fitting white spaghetti strap and matching long white skirt.

You marched toward the door without a second glance back, except for when you grudgingly turned around to grab your black backpack which lay forgotten on the bedside chair. You didn't bother to check your cell phone to see if it had service.

……………………………………………………………………

You didn't expect the castle to be so quiet. It was usually hustling and bustling with all kinds of creatures who had a specific task on mind. There was always work being done and everyone was always busy. But not today.

Today everything was on pause. Because after today, everything would be going back to the way it was supposed to be. At least, that was the plan.

But you still didn't expect the castle to be so quite.

You felt like a zombie walking the halls. Your mind was dead at the moment as you let your legs lead the way. And as you passed through the many halls of the Castle, you fully took in how magnificent this place was. And just like that night at Dancing Lawn, you realized how much you stood out.

You felt like the stranger that you were. You didn't belong here…you couldn't belong here… hell, you weren't supposed to belong here. What could an ordinary girl like you do to deserve this glorious life?

You looked down at your ratty and plain clothes. Nope…nothing glorious about that. Just an old shirt and an out of style skirt. You then vaguely remembered Caspian's Coronation ceremony that he had forced you to ride with him to. You remembered how beautiful Lucy and Susan had looked in their magnificent dresses and tiaras, whereas you wore Caspian's mother's old dress. Not to say that you didn't love the dress, but it most certainly did not compare to Susan and Lucy's attire. They were Queens, after all. And Peter, Edmund, and Caspian were all Kings.

And who were you again? Nobody. Just some random girl who was flopped here to do something she could never possibly do. You were too overwhelmed in this place. You were in way over your head. How the fuck were you supposed to close these "doors" if you couldn't even handle a bow and arrow?

It was time to stop pretended that you were this amazing and special girl who was supposed to bring happiness to Narnia. It was time to wake up from this dream that you were more than lucky enough to experience. It was time to stop getting love, friendship, and happiness that you didn't deserve from people you never should have met in the first place.

This was all a big mistake and you were right smack in the middle of it. It was time for all of this to come to an end.

This wasn't your life, and it never could be.

Admitting that was about as hard as it would be to stare Caspian in the face and tell him you were going to leave him.

But what else were you supposed to do? As much as you didn't want to go back to the place you had sworn you hated and would leave forever once you started college, you couldn't just up and abandon Alex. You had made her a promise, and there was no way in hell Narnia could take you away from here.

And sure enough, your trusty feet had led you to the entrance doors to the castle. Outside these castle doors would be the whole town and castle of Narnia, including Aslan. Aslan…he promised you he would set up a portal to your home no matter what…

You continued to stare at the magnificent double doors that made you think about the Harry Potter movies. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought that something so great could actually exist. In fact, this was even better. But all you could do at this point was be thankful that you got the chance to be a part of something so great.

And as you opened the double doors, you couldn't help but feel as if this was the beginning of the end of your time in Narnia.

……………………………………………………………………

Caspian's POV

Caspian slowly trudged through the courtyard as he looked for Aslan. Black circles lined the bottom of his eyes from lack of sleep, and his skin was slightly paler than it usually was.

Getting up that morning was the single hardest thing Caspian thought he had ever done. Forget fighting dozens of Telmarine soldiers by his lonesome and accepting his duties as the new King of Narnia…this was far far worse.

He just couldn't grasp how something so special and important to him could possible be leaving today. Because if Jade were to choose to go home today, she would be leaving this world entirely.

It would be as if she disappeared off the face of Narnia, never to return or be seen again.

Caspian heaved a heavy sign. He had never felt this way before. Surely, this was what the end of the world felt like. Because if Jade were to choose to go home today, it would in fact be like the end of the world.

How could he have been such a fool? Falling in love with someone from a completely different world that he had no idea even existed. How could he have thought that someone so exotic and mysterious would want to stay with him and love him back?

Because Jade had her own world, he remembered her telling him about it a few times. But she had always talked about it so negatively that Caspian had never thought that she would ever want to go back. But apparently she did, and what kind of person would Caspian be to take her away from her home. She was not from here, thus it was only a matter of time until she would want to go back.

And if going back home was the only thing that would make Jade happy, then Caspian had no other choice than to let it be. There was no way he was going to be the one that took her happiness away.

But…

"I apologize again. I did not mean for you to go through that. Sorry, but I didn't catch your name."

"My name's Jade."

…a life without Jade…

"You don't care about any of those Narnian's that died! Not a single one! You're just bitter because your beloved Jade got captured…or killed…and now you may never get to tell her how you feel! And guess whose fault it is?!"

…wouldn't be much of a life at all.

"I was…dreaming…"

"No you weren't…Jade…I love you."

"Is there something you wanted to tell me, Caspian?" a low and soft voice purred, breaking Caspian out of his daydreaming. The young King looked up to see Aslan peering over from halfway across the courtyard. His eyes held a sense of sorrow and apathy toward him, but that was probably due to the events that happened last night when Jade had yelled at them both.

"But…Jade! What are you doing? You can't go back! You have to stay here…with me! You have to-"

"I don't have to do anything, Caspian! Just leave me alone!"

Caspian shook his head, ridding himself of those hurtful thoughts.

"Umm-uh," Caspian stuttered, also taking notice of Susan and Peter who were walking by his side. They also looked a bit unhappy, but why? Caspian did not know. He found his voice and spoke again. "The townspeople are all gathered. We are ready whenever you are." He said politely.

Aslan nodded his head, and without saying another word, continued to circle the courtyard with Susan and Peter by his side, looking more upset than ever. Caspian watched them walk away for a few moments, before deciding that it was time for him to go and mentally prepare himself for his speech.

Sure, he knew his lines from and back just like any King should. He had an excellent memory, and he was charismatic as well. He knew what he was supposed to say to the crowd of people who were currently awaiting his presence.

However, he knew the second that he caught sight of Jade's face his whole mind would go blank.

She didn't care about what he had to say. She didn't even care about him anymore. All she cared about was going home, and the only reason she would be in the crowd would be so that Aslan could take her back home.

……………………………………………………………………

Your POV

You couldn't even see past the crowd of hustling civilians. That was one of the disadvantages of being short. There were so many people here, and they probably had no idea what was going on…what was in store for them.

The loud murmurs of confusion and small talk from the villagers of Narnia supplied as white noise for you since your mind had been lost in translation hours ago. This was all just too surreal…

And then suddenly the murmurs quieted down, and you lifted your head up even though you couldn't see anything. You knew what was there, or better, who was there.

"My fellow people…" his voice rang out, "I stand before you here as your new King. This land rightfully belongs to the Narnians, and I am here to give it back to them…like it should be. You are welcome to live together with them in harmony, but never again shall they be ripped from what is rightfully theirs."

You had forgotten what a beautiful voice he had. It rang out through the cloud, crisp and clear. How could something so amazing cause you so much pain?

There were some sighs of disappointment from the crown, probably from those who were unwilling to live side by side the Narnians.

"However, for those of you who are looking to start a new life, you may return to the home of your founding fathers, the same land that the Kings and Queens of Old were from." You heard Aslan say.

"Huh?"

"What is he talking about?"

"I have no idea."

You heard the jumbled rants of confusion from the townspeople. You knew what he was talking about.

"Let me explain, my dear sons of Adam and daughters of Eve." He said eloquently. "You see, this land was not yours for the taking. Your forefathers were power striving pioneers who stumbled upon this land by mistake. And now, the time has come for the Narnians to retain their land. As Caspian said, you are all welcome to live here as you wish. But for those with hope for a new beginning where you can start over, I offer you the chance to return to the land of your forefathers."

And then everything became quiet for a moment. The crowd hushed, all waiting with anticipating for Aslan to show his alternative world. You world.

This was it.

And without a second thought, you began to push through the crowd, shoving everything and everyone that got in your way. You could hear the grunts and yells of anger from the townspeople, but you just ignored them. The adrenaline from seeing your home was pumping wildly in your veins, and you knew the only way to subside it- or possibly quicken it- would be to see your home.

But when you got to the front of the crowd, you were immediately disappointed. There wasn't much to be seen. There was just Caspian, the Pevensies, some Narnians, Aslan, and this tree. Your eyes immediately landed on Aslan, trying to ignore all the other ones that you knew you just couldn't bear to look at.

Your eyes were pleading, and as soon as they made contact with Aslan's, he nodded. He then let out a roar, causing most of the members of the crowd to jump. You didn't flinch.

And what you say happen almost took your breath away.

The tree…it was turning. Just like it had the day you came to Narnia. It was unbelieveable.

"No way…" you whispered. This was it…this had to be it. This was what had brought you to Narnia in the first place, when you tripped and fell through the twisting tree. And here it was again, right before your very eyes.

That day…it seemed so long ago. And now it was like everything was going back to the start. This was where it would all end.

However, the villagers didn't seem to buy it.

"What if it is a trick!" one yelled.

"Yeah! How do we not know he is leading us to our deaths?!" Another yelled. These Telmarines really were as stupid as they looked.

You were about to go forth and say something, but Reepicheep beat you to it.

"Sire, if you must, I have nine mice at my disposal ready to go through the portal." He said. Your mind was screaming no. If anyone had to test the portal, it should be you, someone who was actually supposed to leave. Reepicheep shouldn't have to leave Narnia for these stupid Telmarine's expenses.

No, you would be the one to do it. But once again, before you could volunteer yourself, another voice that you did not expect spoke up.

"That won't be necessary Reepicheep. We'll go." Said Peter's seldom voice. All eyes were on him, shocked. Even Caspian's.

"We will?" Asked Lucy's and Edmund's confused voices. You felt heartbroken for her. You knew how much she loved this place. What was Peter talking about?

"Yes, we will." Peter said, looking up at his sister. "It's time to go home, Lu. We can't stay here any longer."

"But…why?" Lucy asked sadly. You felt so bad for her. She looked over to Aslan. "Will we ever come back?"

"You and Edmund will, atleast, I think he means you two." Peter said.

"But what about you and Susan?" she asked.

"Don't worry about us." Peter said patting her shoulder. "Me and Susan will be fine. We've already learned all that we can here. You understand one day…you'll see." He encouraged.

You felt you eyes began to water with tears at the exchange. The way Peter was comforting Lucy…so kindly…so lovingly…it reminded you of how you would comfort Alex whenever she was upset. This was a side of Peter that you had never seen before. He did have a heart.

And Lucy was his soft spot.

You suddenly found yourself running up to the platform and leaping onto the stage where Caspian and the rest were situation. And much to everyone's shock, even your own, your legs led you straight to Peter and you embraced him in a meaningful hug.

He stood rigid for awhile, most likely still bewildered from what the hell was going on. But you didn't care, you just held him tighter until he eventually returned the gesture. And his hug was just as loving as yours.

"You're an amazing brother, Peter. And a great friend too." You whispered in his ear before the two of you broke apart.

"Thanks…" he said speechlessly as you looked deeply into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Peter. I'm sorry for ever judging you. I'm …I'm sorry for everything. I had almost forgotten how it feels to have someone that you need to look after…that you need to protect. I can't imagine how it feels for you…someone who has to look over his whole family. You're a good person, Peter. And you always will be. Please forgive me." You said. Peter looked even more bewildered than ever.

"Um…sure? I didn't expect you to be the only apologizing to me but…thanks. That means a lot." He said. "I'm sorry for everything too. You were right…I should stop acting like a sulking child."

And despite the fact that everything was going wrong, you laughed.

"Just…take care of her." You said, motioning to Lucy.

Peter laughed. "You don't have to worry about that."

Satisfied with his answer, you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then turned to Lucy who immediately attached herself to your waist. She really did remind you so much of Alex…

"I don't want to leave…" she cried.

"I know," you said, "but don't worry. Peter said that you'll come back some day… and I believe you will too. Listen to everything he says, ok?" she looked up at you with her large brown, tear-swollen eyes and nodded. And before you peeled her off of you, you gave her a long kiss on the top of your head.

You then turned to Susan, who was waiting next in line for a hug. The two of you embraced like long lost twin sisters. Susan was one of the only good girl friends that you could ever remember having.

"I'm going to miss you, sis." You said.

"Me too. Now I have to wait till Lucy gets older all over again to have someone at the same maturity level." She said. You let out a small laugh.

"Yeah…you have no idea how much I'm going to miss you." You said, thinking about the three little boys that awaited your return at home. The two of you broke apart, each with tears in your eyes. You looked away quickly so that you wouldn't start bawling.

You then turned around, only to be met instantly with Edmund's embrace. You hug him ever so much more tightly. The brother you never had…and would probably never see again…

You felt your eyes begin to water again, but Edmund's voice stopped the tears in their tracks.

"Now don't get all emotional on me…I'm no girl." You burst out into laughter in his embrace. "I don't want your crying face to be the last thing I see before I leave."

"Oh gee, thanks Ed." You said sarcastically as you pulled away.

"Aww cmon Jade, you know I'm only joking." He said, smiling. "I'm going to miss you a whole lot more than you think."

"Same here." You said. "I wish you didn't have to leave so soon."

"Eh…no sweat. They can't keep me out of here for long. Besides, if you're ever in England, give us a call! Even though we'll probably be a lot older than you." He said. You froze for a second. Apparently it slipped that you were leaving as well.

"I'll keep that in mind." You said, actually taking his words into consideration. You would be going to college this fall, and what Edmund just said gave you an idea. But you figured it best if you didn't bring up that fact right now.

"Alright…we'll…good luck you all." You said as Edmund let go of you to stand by his siblings. They started to make their way towards the portal.

"But what about you, Jade? Are you going to go home with us?" Lucy asked.

"I'll be right behind you." You said. You looked away from the Pevensies, unaware that they did not make a single step towards the portal. They stood put, wanting to see your exchange with Caspian.

And the moment that you had been trying to hard to put off had finally come.

This was it. There was no other choice. You had to face Caspian some time or another, and now was the time. But you had no idea what to do…you couldn't even bare to face him.

What do you say to the man you love?

To the man who gained your trust in a mere day?

To the man who showed you this whole new world, and taught you that love is unconditional?

To the man who willinly risked his life for you on countless occasions?

To the man who was the reason why you were brought here unwillingly.

To the man you were supposed to be with.

To the man who was a part of the sneaky, tricky plan to get you to stay here in Narnia.

To the man who you still believed lied to you.

What could you possibly say to someone so...there were no words to describe it.

You shifted you eyes slightly to the left, and sure enough, his beautiful brown eyes were already boring into yours. His face was a jumble of emotions, but from what you read, he looked someone who had just given up on everything. Hopless and defeated.

And you felt the same exact way. As much as you hated to admit it, Narnia had defeated you. It sucked you in with its irresistable charm, and now it felt like there way no way you could muster up the strength to walk through that tree. But you had to. It was what you had to do. It was what you were supposed to do. There was no other option.

But the pleading look Caspian gave you, the completely hopless expression on his face, made you want to reach out to him and bring him home with you.

Wait! No! You were supposed to be mad at him. He didnt really care about you that way...rememeber. You couldnt give into his irresistable charm. It was exactly what he wanted you to do.

Plus, he was king now. There was no way he would be able to just up and leave Narnia now when it needed him the most. No...you couldnt be with him anymore. Just standing here looking into his eyes was even taking a toll on you. You had to end this now, before you second guessed yourself.

You could sense him taking steps closer to you, but you didnt move. You wanted to say goodbye to him properly, and let him know exactly just how deeply you felt for him. Even if he had only been pretending the whole time, that didnt matter as much now. Because you really did love him, more than you thought you could ever love anyone. That was a fact you couldnt deny. And you would embrace this feeling...embrace it, and then leave it all behind. You could do this.

You felt Caspian's form looming over yours, and as you looked down you watched as your shadows blended together. He must be only a few inches from you now. But the closeness didnt make you feel too uncomfortable. You actually felt rather...complete.

You waited for Caspian to speak first. You still had no idea what to say.

"Is this...really what you want, Jade?"

Always so sincere and considerate. This feeling was never going to diappear. As good as would would be able to leave it behind, it would still haunt you in some way or another. Who were you kidding? Narnia was never going to just disappear.

"Jade?"

It was going to be with you forever.

"Jade, can you hear me"

You were ready to make this decision, you really were. But frankly, you didnt feel like moving right now. Could this all really be happening?

"Jade, please don't be mad at me...don't ignore me."

You knew what you had to do. It was what you always did when you felt like you were being backed into a corner. But then you remembered the last time you did it...that didnt turn out so well. But at the same time it did. So you did the only thing you could possibly think of doing.

"Jade! Stop! Where are you going?!"

...you ran.

……………………………………………………………………

Wow! You all probably thought I died or something!

Well I didn't. School is just so hard and overwhelming now, and I'm trying to write as much and fast as I can. But it's hard!

Even as I speak I have so much work to do! But I just felt so bad and wanted to have this chapter up just to let you know that the story is still in progress!

Sorry again (and for the cliffhanger! Tehe) for posting so late and hopefully you all will send me nice Reviews!

Bye!

11