Why was it that nothing went to plan? Kaidan was angry and amused at the same time. The Quarian delegation had come on board and it was great to see Tali again but he thought it was insane that they had gone to war with the Geth when the Reapers were attacking the galaxy. At their request Shepard, Kaidan and Tali had gone on board the Geth dreadnaught to destroy the Reaper signal and allow the Quarian fleet time to flee.
Of course that hadn't happened. They had found Legion and they had disabled the signal but Admiral Gerrel had opened fire on the dreadnaught while they were still on board, putting not only their lives at risk but that of the Quarian fleet by not taking the chance to escape. That had not gone down well with Shepard who took out her frustration and anger on the Admiral. Kaidan had to hide his laughter as Shepard knocked the Admiral to the floor and ordered him off her ship.
Kaidan had balked at releasing Legion, he'd read the reports and logs about the Geth unit but was concerned that his loyalty could be affected by the Reaper code the Geth had decided to incorporate into itself. Shepard had no doubt she could trust it but Kaidan had yet to form that bond. When it had presented the information about the Geth fighters he had been surprised, did it feel any guilt about providing information about its own people, was it possible for it to feel at all.
Kaidan was worried. Shepard had stepped into the Geth Pod like it was nothing, only the look in her eyes had given him any sign she had doubts. She had looked directly at him as the pod closed around her and he had tried to hide the fear churning in his gut. She managed a half smile before dropping into some kind of trance, she seemed to be asleep but her eyes were open and moving, as if she was seeing something they couldn't.
Hell, she probably was and his curiosity got the better of him for a moment. What was it like inside the Geth hive? He couldn't come up with any images, he had nothing to work from. He looked over at Legion who was simply standing over the console, not moving, seemingly in the same trance as Shepard. They were sharing something he couldn't be part of and he felt a pang of jealousy. She had left him behind again and he hated that.
Kaidan was frustrated. He paced slowly, glancing up at Shepard each time he crossed the front of the pod. How long had she been in there? Could she get out? Panic flared but he quickly controlled it. She was the strongest woman he knew, the fiercest warrior, intelligent and capable, if anyone could do this she could. That didn't stop him from worrying.
Sound in his ear made him jump and he heard James chuckle behind him. He glared at James as Admiral Raan informed them that half of the Geth fighters had stopped moving. Something was definitely going on, something Shepard was doing was working. He stood before the pod and peered through the glass, her eyes were still moving, she was still active but what was she doing.
'Major, are you okay?' James was looking at him and Kaidan realised he was clenching his fists and his biotics had flared.
'Yeah, how long has she been in there?' he checked his own omnitool and was surprised to find it had only been fifteen minutes, it felt like a lifetime.
'Should we be trying to get her out?' James stepped closer to the pod and Kaidan placed a hand on his arm.
'No, we could harm her, we have to give her some time,' he was trying to convince himself as much as James but it didn't work. He went back to pacing.
Word finally came through that all the Geth ships had stopped and Kaidan immediately stepped in front of the pod, watching for some kind of movement to show that Shepard was alright, that she was coming back to him. Something moved in his peripheral vision and he glanced over to see Legion moving at the console. With a hiss the pod opened and Shepard grinned down at him, stepping out and resting her hand on his arm as he offered support.
'Shepard,' he couldn't hide the relief in his voice, 'are you okay?'
'Fine,' she smiled and he felt the tension leave him.
Movement around them had him reaching for his weapon, James did the same but Shepard simply held up her hand. Geth Primes surrounded them and Kaidan stared at Shepard in amazement as she accepted their offer of help with the Crucible. Was there anything this woman couldn't do? He loved her so deeply, so passionately and the pride he felt right then overwhelmed him. He wanted this woman in his life forever, to be by his side until the day they died. She turned to face him, almost as if she had read his thoughts, her eyes seemed to echo his feelings and his heart skipped a beat as he thought about a possible future. He was grinning as he followed her back to the Normandy.
How quickly things change. He had been happy, ecstatic even when Shepard had stepped out of that Geth pod. Now he was terrified, he wanted to vomit as his gut churned uncontrollably. He was angry that once again she had taken on a high risk alone, ordering Legion to move away and thus locking him in the Geth transport. No amount of shouting, cursing or threats would convince Legion to go back and help. Tali tried to calm him but she should have saved her breath.
They watched helplessly as Shepard ran, rolled and aimed the targeting laser to bring down the Reaper that appeared from inside the Geth base. His heart was threatening to break out of his chest as he watched the beam hit the spot she had been standing in, but she wasn't there. She was magnificent, a prima ballerina of the battlefield. As much as he feared for her life he had no doubt she would succeed, it was who she was. But that didn't stop his hands from shaking, his heart from pounding and his gut from churning.
Finally it was over and they watched as the Reaper spoke to Shepard, she argued with it, as if she could convince it to change its mind. Then it died. He could see Shepard was shaking, adrenaline was slowly dissipating and the tiredness gradually appeared on her face. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her, to tell her how proud he was and how angry he was but they had agreed to keep their emotions in check, they had allowed one moment but now they had to be absolutely professional except in private.
'Shepard, you took down a Reaper!' Tali couldn't hide the excitement and awe in her voice and Kaidan chuckled.
'Yep,' Shepard grinned. 'That makes three.'
'Keeping score, huh,' Kaidan grinned at her with raised eyebrows.
'Yeah, I might even put notches on my gun.' She laughed and so did he.
They were interrupted by Tali and Legion arguing behind them. Legion wanted to upload the old machine code to the collective, Tali was terrified this would end in the destruction of her race. Shepard questioned Legion and eventually allowed the upload.
'Shepard, you can't,' Tali was distressed, terrified and Kaidan looked at Shepard with concern.
Legion was already uploading and they could hear the Quarian admiral giving orders to destroy the Geth fleet but the Geth weren't going quietly. It quickly became obvious that one of the two races would die if something wasn't done.
Kaidan watched the woman he loved as she convinced the Quarian fleet to stand down, to think about their actions, to think about the past and the future. He watched as three hundred years of history was changed, as war was ended and peace began. He listened as Legion and Tali said goodbye, as Tali accepted that Legion had a soul, that he was alive. He lost all doubt as Legion sacrificed himself for the good of his people, and they were a people now and he watched as a Quarian Admiral and a Geth Prime agreed to work together to rebuild the Quarian home world.
All of this because one woman refused to give up, believed that there was always a chance, the possibility of change and hope for the future. His eyes were moist as he met hers and saw the joy in them. How could he not love this woman?
Cheers and elation met them as they stepped off the shuttle, the crew wanting to touch their hero, their commander and for some their friend. They had all shared the fear and elation as they watched events unfold and Shepard allowed their pride and happiness to wash over her, she laughed and cheered with them. Kaidan could see how tired she was so slowly he urged her towards the elevator and into their quarters. He silently helped her remove her armour and undergarments before removing his own and leading her into the shower.
She followed him without hesitation, allowing him to care for her as he washed her hair and massaged the aches away while he lathered her shower gel all over her body. He kissed her bruises, caressed her gently in his arms before drying them off, carrying her to the bed and tucking them both in. They lay wrapped in each other's arms, the contact enough to make them both relax as they looked up at the stars through the window over their heads.
'Marry me, Karra.' Kaidan's words broke the silence as he lowered his head and looked into her eyes.
'Yes,' it was almost a whisper but it held so much emotion, unshed tears filled her eyes and her smile was the brightest thing he had ever seen.
Kaidan's heart was pounding and he hadn't realised he'd been holding his breath as she gave him her answer. Gently he found her lips, overcome with tenderness, love and passion for this woman who had just agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. Right then it didn't matter that they were at war, that their lives could end tomorrow. What mattered was the moment, the idea of hope for the future, a future together, forever. That was enough.