Face Down Chapter 35

A/N: Just a little reminder that this is an M rated fic :)

Again, huge thanks to Litahatchee. I gave her a piece of coal and she turned it into a diamond! And if you haven't read her story, Night Fire, yet, I suggest you do so. Oh, and review it too!

Face Down Chapter 36

Starscream was flying low, waiting for a transmission from the ground crew he had sent out to explore the section of forest that he could not infiltrate himself. The raid on the human's power plant had been successful for the most part; they had acquired a respectable amount of energy before they couldn't hold back the Autobots any longer. Now he had a team back at their base converting the energy into a more suitable form, while another group came out to check on Barricade's progress, or lack there of.

: Soundwave to Starscream.:

The Decepticon's monotone drawl caused Starscream to look down at the ground below, a pointless movement; it wasn't like he could see through the dense trees that infested this disgusting planet.

: Report Soundwave.:

: Termination: Failed.:

Starscream's thrusters spluttered and he lost altitude. His voice reached an octave that made his name all the more fitting.

: Failed! What do you mean failed!?:

The Decepticon commander circled around looking for a place to touch down.

: Barricade: Gone.:

'He could still be dead.' Starscream thought to himself. 'The Autobots may have found him and brought his body back to their base. That medic of theirs will try and bring him back to life, but there is no chance of recovery.' Starscream tried to convince himself while giving up on a clear spot to land. Losing patience the Decepticon leader crashed through the delicate plant matter, his rage very evident.

'But the Autobots hadn't been looking for him, they weren't even concerned about him. They are more interested in finding the little femme.'

Starscream's logic circuits were working at a very rapid pace as he looked over the small group of Decepticons that had been sent out to scout this area.

'If the femme found him, alive, and some how managed to escape, they couldn't have gone far.'

"LaserBeak, locate Barricade." The commander ordered.

'If we find Barricade, we will most likely find the femme too. Two prizes at once.'

Suddenly the Decepticon leader didn't feel so angry anymore.

: This seems like a good place to stop.:

Burnout still felt her spark seize up at the sound of the police interceptor's voice, but not from fear any longer. It was the flutter of a love struck youngling.

: I stayed here once when I was looking for you; it's quiet.: Burnout replied as she followed the Decepticon off the main road and down into an underground parking garage belonging to an old, out-of-commission subway station.

Barricade transformed, scraping his head on the low ceiling. Burnout followed suit, giggling as she easily stretched up.

"I'm so glad you think this is funny," the Decepticon commented, gruffly, as he hunched down to avoid continued contact with the concrete ceiling. Immediately, the ever-diligent 'Con began a perimeter check. He wanted to know everything about this place, how defensible it would be should they come under attack, the location of all entrance and exit ways, and if there were any other life forms in the area, mechanical or organic.

Burnout watched as Barricade concentrated on his routine inspection; he had done this every time they had stopped, and they had stopped a lot. The Decepticon's body was still repairing itself and using a lot of energy to do so. She had not offered her spark to him again, but, deep down, she couldn't help but want that connection again.

Slowly stepping up next to Barricade, whom she knew loved her with every ounce of his being, she gently took his hand. She just wanted to be close to him, to feel his metal against hers, even if it was just the contact of their hands.

And I'd give up forever to touch you

Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

Barricade looked down at the femme who had suddenly come to his side. He noted that she seemed nervous, but not in a fearful way. Optics soft, he smiled at her. There was nothing hidden from her now; there was no point in hiding behind a barrier that she could see straight through. Slowly, Barricade lifted a large hand, and gently placed it on the side of her face. Caressing her cheek with a digit, he marveled at how, instead of flinching away, she pushed into the contact. She had completely forgiven him. He watched her face as she relished in his simple, soft touch. He didn't know it was possible to love her any more than he already did, but his love for her was growing with each passing moment, starting with the moment she accepted him fully, sacrificing herself to save him. Her unconditional love for him allowed her to accept him for who and what he was. He adored her because of it. She did not belong to him. He did not belong to himself. He belonged to her now.

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

When sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

Squeezing her hand ever so gently, Barricade pulled Burnout closer, increasingly aware that if he felt even the slightest form of resistance, he would stop. Burnout's purple optics looked up into his own and he inhaled slightly at what he saw there. It was as if he were looking down at a completely different femme than the one he had taken on Cybertron. Here before him, Burnout looked into his optics with love and, more importantly, trust. She was all the more beautiful because of it.

Allowing herself to be pulled closer to Barricade, Burnout closed the remaining distance between the two of them, bringing their bodies together. She shivered slightly when her chest came in contact with his and the Decepticon's strong arms wrapped tightly around her. She had released his hand and was now tucked securely against his armor, oblivious to everything else except the soft hum of Barricade's spark so close to hers.

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Burnout could have stood there forever, wrapped in Barricade's arms, but she wanted more. Pulling back slightly to look up into his face, she caught his optics again. Reaching up, she laid her hand on the side of his face, like he had done to her, and, like her, he pressed into the contact. Barricade was content to let it remain just like this. He would have never expected anything more. But, Burnout didn't stop there…

Barricade was shocked when the femme stretched up onto the tips of her toes, bringing her facial components closer to his, hesitating only a moment when their lips were but scant inches away. Barricade closed the distance, connecting their lips, while placing a gentle hand behind her neck as she reached up with her other arm, wrapping both around the back of his neck tightly. It was a feeling like no other, being this close to a femme, being this close to Burnout, as she willingly put all her trust in him.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin'

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

Pulling back to look into Burnout's face, the Decepticon mistook the expression on her features for pain or sadness. There was emotion there, but the polar opposite of what Barricade thought he saw. He pulled himself away from her immediately, "Burnout, I'm sorry. I-" He started, trying to apologize for kissing her, fearing that he had gone too far.

Instead of increasing the distance between them, like he expected, she quickly closed it again, and silenced him with another kiss, this one more heated than the last.

Words were not needed, he knew that she had forgiven him; he knew that she loved him. There was no need to keep apologizing; yet, he still couldn't help but feel the ache of shame in his spark for everything he had done to her.

And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am.

Hands didn't remain idle for long. Barricade was worried that he wouldn't know how to handle himself in a situation like this, where gentleness was needed. He was afraid that he wouldn't know how to be soft. But, as the situation progressed, he found that gentleness was proving to be easier to come by than the roughness that had once ruled his life.

She didn't know where the tenderness had come from, nor that the mech had it in him to be so gentle. She was so overcome by the softness of Barricade's touch that she didn't even realize their transfer cables had come together again. Only when she felt Barricade's strong, but quiet, presence, and the love that emanated from it, did she realize that they were connected. Responding in kind, the femme easily integrated herself into his CPU.

Burnout felt her knees buckling as intense waves of pleasure washed over her while Barricade explored everything that made her who she was. She silently questioned if this was what Barricade had felt when she had done the same to him. Perhaps he had been so weakened that his body couldn't afford to feel enjoyment.

Feeling the femme's legs giving out, Barricade pressed her firmly against him, supporting her full weight in his arms. Yes, he had felt the pleasure that her exploring had created, but had been unable to enjoy it with his body being in the state that it had been in. Now, he wanted to return the favor. He wanted to make up for everything he had done to her. He wanted her to feel the pleasure that she had given him. Pleasures that he had received through force and fear he wanted to return through love and compassion.

Cradling Burnout delicately, Barricade carefully sank to the floor, setting her securely on his folded legs. Continuing to send his love to her through their connection, he allowed his fingertips to trace over a seam that went down her chest plate and over her abdomen.

The femme gasped and arched into his touch. Never in her whole existence had she experienced sensations like these. Never would she have predicted that it would be Barricade who unlocked these feelings like so. She couldn't dwell long on these realizations as another wave of euphoria washed over her. Sitting up to straddle him, the femme wrapped her arms around the Decepticon, bringing their facial components together again.

Their kiss became deeper and their shared passion pulled them closer then either thought they could ever become. Barricade started to tremble from the responses he was getting out of the femme; she was sending her pleasure through their connection and it was making his vowed restraint difficult to uphold. This was for her enjoyment, he didn't deserve anything out of this; he didn't deserve to ever feel pleasure again.

Barricade drew air into his intakes sharply when Burnout gasped into his audio receptor; the growing heat that was building up in the femme's body was enough to drive him crazy. But, he had to stay in control, he couldn't take more than Burnout was ready to offer; no, he couldn't take anything. He could only accept what she was willing to give him.

Burnout was, at first, unaware of the inner battle that raged on within the Decepticon, not until after another peak of euphoria, when Burnout sighed and relaxed into Barricade's embrace, did the femme feel it. She felt the unease through their connection.

"What's wrong?" She whispered, bringing her hand up to caress his face again. Barricade brought his own hand up and laid it over hers.

"I don't want to hurt you, I'm afraid of taking too much." He admitted easily to the femme; proving the closeness of their relationship.

Burnout didn't respond with words. Instead, she gathered up every loving and reassuring thought she could find and flooded his CPU with them, topping it all off with her trust.

Barricade shuddered under the intensity, which Burnout took full advantage of by slipping small fingers between his armor. She manipulated sensitive wires gently between her fingertips, causing Barricade to quiver under her grasp.

Attempting to retaliate, Barricade opened his mouth to complain, but, again, Burnout silenced him with another passionate kiss. He fell into it, returning it, more heated and rougher than before. She moaned against his mouth plates, setting his interface ablaze, a fire that he then sent back to her full force.

In the passion of their kiss, Burnout hurriedly moved aside his chest plates, another moan escaping her as she felt the onslaught of his fiery passion.

The Decepticon paused when she did this, continuing to be unsure, sending his uncertainty through their connection, asking the femme for permission to proceed. She sent her reassurance again, adding desire to it. Barricade couldn't have held himself back at this point, even if he wanted to.

Within seconds, he was upon her, trapping her comfortably beneath him, his hands grabbing and groping every inch of her, his mouth plates kissing and tugging on the sensitive wiring of her neck. Each touch ignited a fire in her that had her moaning and writhing against him until she thought her spark would explode in anticipation.

He was hers in every way and he wanted to give himself completely to her. She was everything to him. Nothing, no one, could come between them.

Never looking from her beautiful face, watching her features as they twisted in ecstasy, the Decepticon gently brushed aside her own meager chest armor. Soon, they both where bathed in the intense blue light of their sparks, the glow traversed out to take over the surrounding parking lot.

Barricade looked at her spark and recoiled at the site of her casing, shame and guilt overpowering his desire. He didn't deserve this. He shamefully rolled away from her and started to disconnect their interface when he felt Burnout's overwhelming presence and reassurance. She implored him to stay connected, sitting up to reach over and grasp his trembling hands.

"I thought you had this fixed..." Barricade's voice was harsh and demanding, but she knew it wasn't directed at her. Had she not felt his love through their connection the harshness of his voice may have intimidated her, but she knew he was only angry with himself. It was his next question that made her feel uneasy, "Why didn't Ratchet replace it?"

"I told him not to," Burnout's voice was so soft that Barricade had to turn up his audios to hear her. "I wanted to keep it, so that I would never forget what was done to me."

"But you...we...why?" Barricade stammered, hurt and confusion evident in his voice and coming through their interface in waves. "If you didn't want to forget, then why are we doing this?"

Burnout pulled away a little, optics downcast and arms wrapped around herself in an obvious pose of insecurity. "At first I didn't want to forget, just in case you or one of the others tried to bait me into a trap." Burnout felt Barricade's presence in her CPU, it was as if he were stroking her reassuringly, giving her confidence. "But then I saw that you had changed and I understood that I could still remember my past, but I really needed to move on. Then I realized that, deep down, I loved you. The only way I could come to terms with those feelings was to embrace them, and embrace what had happened."

Barricade cupped her face with his hands.

So let mercy come
And wash away
What I've done

"You are the bravest being I've ever known," Barricade said to her, "I admire your strength and your courage; I always have." His desire to become hers suddenly overwhelmed him.

In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no alibi

'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth

Burnout was taken aback by his compliment, then she felt his deep desire to give himself to her completely, which increased her own desire to give herself to him. Barricade guided Burnout back into his arms. Any remaining tenseness or apprehension immediately washed away from her.

She looked up into his face. "It's the spark inside, 'Cade," her soothing voice pulsed through his systems, "I want to give it to you...It's yours...What's on the casing no longer matters."

"No, you do not belong to me," he replied, "I belong to you."

With his words, she sat up in his arms and kissed him with renewed passion. He placed her gently on the ground and rolled on top of her again, feeling her frame tremble slightly against his own. He caressed her spark casing, accepting it for what it was, accepting himself...

I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

She sighed at his touch and then he gently, but passionately, stroked her spark with is thumb. A cry of rapturous pleasure shot from her, singing through his frame. She sent back to him what she was feeling via their interface.

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty

"Primus!" Barricade barked out as the boundless waves of her ecstasy washed through him.

He watched her soft features tremble in anticipation, his own anticipation making his frame shudder against hers. He looked at her quivering spark. It was calling to him now.

"I'm giving it to you," she repeated, her voice crying out in desire.

"I want to be yours, Burnout, yours and yours alone..." the sound of his deep, handsome, voice filled her very being as his own spark began calling to hers.

For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done!!

Wrapping one arm around her waist, Barricade brought her up to meet his chest, their exposed sparks practically leaping out to each other, trembling wantonly in their casings. He controlled the urge to ravage her completely; content to watch her face as he slowly and gently pressed his chest into hers.

Their sparks joined in a brilliant cascade of light. Waves of rapturous euphoria passed between them, the likes that neither one had ever experienced before. He was completely giving himself to her and she to him. The resulting bond was almost immediate. Their sparks already recognized each other. It was as if they were saying, "What took you so long? It's about time!" They were meant for each other. They were meant to be together from the very beginning. Neither one of them knowing this until that very moment.

What I've done
Forgiving what I've done


There were forces at work that neither one of them understood, but they knew, at that moment, that everything that had happened, everything they endured, had its purpose. It was all leading them to this moment. A moment that never would have come about if all the hardships had not come before. If it weren't for all that he put her through, and all that he, himself, had suffered because of it, this would not have been possible. She was his salvation. He was hers. They were complete. They were soulmates. They were sparkmates. Few Cybertronians ever found sheer and utter completeness such as this. Their strength, endurance, acceptance, forgiveness, and unconditional love gained through their trials allowed them to forge a strong bond.

This time they were doing it right, there was nothing being forced upon one or the other, there were no emergencies, only their love. This time they were coming together to stay together. They were coming together because each knew that there would be no other being that could replace the other. They were going to be together for the rest of their lives, no matter what the war brought, no matter that they were now living on an alien planet, no matter where their allegiances lie. They would be together and they would be happy because of it.

Crashing on top of each other in exhaustion, neither could speak, their bodies trying to reboot and catch up with their streaming processors. In the darkness that now surrounded the couple, they explored their newly created bond. Uncovering files that even the owner didn't know existed, they shared them with each other, nonetheless. This is what being bonded was about, sharing with each other, anything and everything.