Tuesday

Arizona stood at the Peads nurses station updating a chart while unconsciously putting her hand over the slowly fading bruise on her neck. She'd been so pissed when she noticed it after her and Callie woke from their nap on Sunday. It was situated on the edge of her collar-bone right where a shirt would fail to cover it. Every one had given her shit about it no matter how much make-up she tried to cover it with.

Even Sofia had asked about it when she came home, innocently asking if her Mama was okay 'cause she had a boo boo. Callie had been no help, she just stood there and laughed behind her hand. Callie had one or two as well, but her slightly darker skin hid them better and with make-up no one saw them or even knew they were there. In the end Arizona saw the funny side of things and looked at it as the badge of honour that came with physically reconnecting with Callie.

The three of them had sat down Sunday night and had a Skype session with Daniel, Sofia squealing happily at seeing her Pop Pop again. They sat and talked for an hour until Callie started cooking them dinner so Arizona could have a private moment with her father. Daniel watched Arizona who was watching Callie as she walked away carrying Sofia. Daniel waited until Arizona turned back to try and hide his smirk and he unfortunately failed. Arizona turned bright red, looked away and sighed.

"Just get it over with Dad, have your gloat."

Daniel laughed. "I don't need to gloat Arizona, I'll just sit here and enjoy seeing the two of you so happy together. I can leave the 'I told you so' for later."

Arizona smiled at her father. "As long as we're happy you can have your 'I told you so'. So I have my first solo therapy session on Tuesday. That therapist Callie has been seeing is going to help me talk about everything that happened and hopefully one day soon you'll see the old me back."

"Honey I raised a good man in a storm but sometimes the storm overwhelms and tries to drown us. You were sinking but you've been thrown a lifesaver and that will keep your head above the water. We all change as time goes by, but as long as you stay true to who you are and what you stand for, that's all anyone can ask for. You have a lot of your mother in you and she was a patient woman. Follow her example and you'll all be fine."

Arizona wiped a tear and smiled. "Thanks Dad. I miss her so much."

"Me too Arizona. I better go. Talk to you soon and don't forget to give the girls a hug from me."

"Will do Dad. 'Bye."

The Robbins-Torres family shared a nice dinner while Sofia continued to tell them all about her sleepover and how much fun she had with Zola. That night they bathed Sofia together and went their separate ways or they knew they would never stop having sex. They were kind of like Pringle's, once you pop, you can't stop! Besides Callie had a 24 hour shift starting a 3am so she needed sleep.

They didn't see each other much on Monday except for a quick chat at lunch and a brief catch up in the day care when Arizona came to take Sofia home. Callie gave Sofia kisses and hugs goodnight and gave Arizona a deep kiss that took both of their breaths away. They traded a few text messages over the course of the day, some innocent and some down right naughty.

After Arizona took Sofia home that evening giving her dinner and a bath she fell asleep on the couch watching some old movie. Callie had returned in the early hours of Tuesday morning to find Arizona curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over her. Callie stood and watched her for a moment and then gently woke her. A groggy Arizona let Callie guide her to the bed where they curled up together, Arizona waking Tuesday morning to find herself still wrapped up with her wife. She gently extracted herself from Callie's grip and quietly woke Sofia and made her breakfast. Just as Arizona was about to leave for the hospital a sleepy Callie emerged from the bedroom having had a good five hours of sleep. She'd head back for a couple more after her wife and daughter left.

"Good morning. You two heading in already?"

"Hey you, good morning."

"Mornin' mommy."

Callie gave Sofia a kiss and accepted the cup of coffee Arizona handed her with a sweet kiss. Arizona pulled Sofia out of her chair with instructions to get her bag and shoes for day care.

"So I have my first session today. Are you okay to get Sofia this afternoon?"

Callie took another long sip of her coffee and yawned and stretched her back until it popped. "Yeah. I'm going in around 1pm and get some research done, I'm not on the schedule today. Every since the TED conference Avery's been wanting me to keep my cartilage work moving along so he can get the Harper Avery Foundation on board so I can get some real funding in place."

"I'm so happy to hear that, you really deserve it. Did you want to have dinner tonight? I can order Chinese or we can cook, you know whatever you feel like."

Arizona was speaking quickly and wringing her hands. Callie laughed, finished her coffee and pulled Arizona into a tight hug. She could sense the nervousness from her wife. Callie spoke quietly into Arizona's ear as they swayed together.

"Stop trying so hard, you will be fine. Just be honest with Nicole and let her know what's inside that beautiful head of yours."

Arizona pulled back from Callie. "Thank you."

Arizona leaned back in and kissed Callie. They were only interrupted by the return of Sofia from her bedroom. Arizona held out her hand for her daughter to take and with a final goodbye to Callie, the two of them headed to day care and the Peads floor. That was were Arizona found herself when she started to reminisce about the past two days. She pulled herself out of her daydream, looked at her watch and noticed it was time for the drive to Seattle Pres. and her appointment. She listening to some soothing music on her drive, entered their rival hospital and went up to the psychiatric floor. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. The door was opened by Nicole who motioned her into the room, placed a glass of water in front of Arizona and took her seat.

"Welcome back Arizona. How are you?"

Arizona took a sip of water, leaned back and made herself comfortable on the sofa. She put her hands together in her lap and made eye contact with Nicole.

"I'm good, no I'm great actually."

"Good to hear. I'm gathering by that little mark on your neck you and Callie had some fun this weekend."

Arizona blushed and her hand flew up and tried to cover the bruise. "We went on a wonderful date down by Elliot Bay and yes we did, we had a lot of fun."

Nicole laughed a little and took another sip of her own water as she pressed record. "Good to hear. So I've heard a lot from Callie about your life, but I want to hear it from you. What was your first thought when you woke up without your leg?"

Arizona reeled back in a bit of shock. "Wow doc, not starting off easy are we?"

"I find getting straight to the point is always the best way to do things. Of all the things on the list I spoke about last week by far the two biggest issues for you will always be about your leg and kissing this other doctor. I would like to start with your accident and your subsequent amputation. So tell me Arizona, what's the first thing you thought when you woke to find your leg gone?"

Arizona took a sip before she replied. "I came out of the anesthesia to find Callie sitting beside my bed. I thought maybe her surgery on Derek had gone wrong by the look on her face and the grip she had on my hand. Unfortunately it was to tell me she had to cut off my leg."

"And what was the second thing that came into your mind after your wife told you that you lost your leg?"

Arizona couldn't help the little bit of anger and the slight raising of her voice when she answered. "First of all I didn't lose my leg, they took it. Callie told me she'd do everything to save it but she cut it off. She broke her promise."

Nicole stayed silent as Arizona continued. "I hated Callie in that moment. I wanted her to get the hell away from me and leave me alone. I was so fucking pissed at her for breaking that promise that I wanted...I wanted to cut off her leg and see how she'd like it."

Nicole nodded and took a sip to give Arizona a moment to calm down. "Arizona, how do you feel about it now?"

Arizona took a couple of deep breaths and a sip of water, calming herself down before she spoke. "I've forgiven Callie for doing it, 'cause I realize now I should never have asked my wife to make a promise I knew she couldn't really keep. There never was anything to forgive. When I look back I was a monster. I was full of so much anger at my situation that I took it out on Callie and even Sofia sometimes. I hated my wife for cutting off my leg to save my life. Callie asked me when we had a talk two weeks ago if I would rather have died than to lose my leg and at first I couldn't answer."

"Did you want to die Arizona?"

"No, I didn't. But I also didn't want to live with one leg. I needed my wife to save my leg and she didn't."

"Is that why you kissed the other doctor?"

"No, maybe, I don't know." Arizona couldn't meet Nicole's eyes as she shrugged her shoulders at the therapist.

"I think deep down you do. You said it yourself, you hated Callie for cutting off your leg. She stood by you during your recovery and never left your side, yet you kissed another person and almost had sex with her. Did you do it to get back at Callie for breaking her promise?"

Arizona wiped a tear at the memory of nearly destroying her marriage. "I didn't intend to sleep with Lauren Boswell, it's just..."

Nicole carefully prodded Arizona. "Just be honest Arizona. There's no right or wrong, just tell me what you were thinking in that on call room."

"Even after all the time that had passed and Callie and I started to have sex again, it didn't feel right. It wasn't until Lauren came along that I felt more like the old me. In the space of three days she brought out more than Callie managed to in nearly a year. Standing in that room, when she kissed me, it felt right but only for a moment. It was like I stepped outside myself and let someone else take over. She told me I didn't have to be in control, that I could let go, so I did."

Nicole nodded. "What made you stop?"

"I kissed her neck and it was like I woke up. She wasn't Callie. She didn't sound like her or taste like her. Everything I did was driven by hormones and not love. I didn't love Dr Boswell and I didn't feel butterflies when she touched me. She reminded me of the old me and that was the only real spark we had. Once I stepped back I felt nothing for her. I stopped because she wasn't Callie, she wasn't my wife."

"Arizona have you really forgiven Callie for making a decision that in all honesty saved your life?"

"I have Nicole, I have. Callie had to make a split-second decision about whether I lived or died. To keep a promise or save my life. She made the right choice. I'm alive and I'm happy again. It's not just the sex although that was petty damn awesome."

Arizona and Nicole shared a little laugh at her comment before Arizona continued to speak.

"Callie makes me happy, she gives me the butterflies when she looks at me or when I look at her. Even when I was so mad at her she still gave me tingles and I hated myself for feeling them because I wanted to be angry at her. I made a choice in that on call room and it nearly cost me everything. Dr Boswell pursued me even after I told her I was married and happily so. I should've told her to leave me alone but I gave her permission to pursue me by flirting back. "

Nicole put down her glass. "But you weren't really happy. Callie told me she asked you about Dr Boswell flirting with you the night before the storm and you denied it. Looking back, how would you have handled her attention now?"

Arizona sighed. "I did the wrong thing by flirting back and I admit I googled her, but in all fairness I wasn't looking to cheat, I just wanted to know more about her since she seemed to know so much about me. I guess I was curious about her. If I had my time again I'd tell Callie the truth, that she was flirting with me and I flirted back even if it had of caused a fight it would've been better than lying. I wasn't really honest with Callie about anything that happened since the crash. I hid behind my anger and resentment and let Callie think I was happy when I wasn't. If I had my time again I would've told Callie how I really felt like I have been since we started talking two weeks ago. We've spoken about our real feelings more in these two weeks then we probably have in our whole marriage. In all honesty we should have fallen apart a long time ago. We don't face the hard stuff, we cover it up or ignore it. Everything came to a head because we didn't talk, didn't communicate."

Nicole nodded and glanced at the clock. "Well that is one issue we can all agree on. As I said to the two of you in our Skype session, communication is the key. It's the one thing that seems to be lacking in your marriage. You and Callie don't need me to referee your life, you just need to tell each other what you're thinking. Don't let the circumstances overwhelm you, talk to your wife. If Callie doesn't agree or you don't agree on an issue if you talk at least you can come to a compromise and work out the best solutions for all of you. I just have one more question for today. Do you still hate Callie in any way for making the decision to cut off your leg?"

Arizona shook her head. "No, I don't. If I did I would've slept with Dr Boswell or I would've walked out the door a long time ago. I run when things get hard but the fact I didn't through all of this confirms for me how much I love my wife, that I need her and my family or there would be no point in me existing. I was a bitch and I took it out on the easy target and I don't need to do that anymore. Callie stood by my side just like I did when she nearly died in that car accident. We've been through so much and it kills me that we nearly threw it all away because we didn't talk about everything and weren't honest with each other."

"Follow up question. Do you really love your wife or do you just want someone who makes you feel good?"

"I love Calliope Torres with every ounce of my soul and the very thought that I could have lost her forever chills me to my very core. I made a mistake and let my anger guide me. I didn't trust Callie enough to let her in and tell her how I really felt. I won't make that mistake again. Yeah I admit Callie makes me feel wonderful but she's more than a talented lover. Callie can be so thoughtful and caring, she makes me smile when I want to pout. She does these little things all the time, so many I can't even count, just to brighten my day. When I lose a patient or something goes wrong she's always there to look after me, and I do the same for her. I lost sight of all that after everything that happened but we're getting it to where we need it to be to move on and be a stronger couple and better mothers to our daughter. If I wanted someone to just make me feel good I would've stayed in that on call room."

Arizona wiped at a couple of tears that rolled down her face. Nicole handed her a tissue which she accepted, Nicole looking at her watch again.

"Time's up for today. You've done well Arizona. You and Callie have obviously talked about a lot of this on your own and it sounds like the two of you are well on your way. One thing Callie told me about you that we'll discuss next week is that you're a bit of a perfectionist and you don't like to ask for help."

Arizona laughed having wiped away her tears. "Yeah I'm not gonna deny that. I'm a type A alright. It's one thing I've tried to change about myself."

Nicole laughed along with Arizona. "You don't need to change everything about yourself. There's nothing wrong with being a type A you just have to know when it's the right time and the right circumstances to let go of your control. Remember, there's no such thing as a perfect person but there's a perfect person for you and I think you know who that person is already. Asking for help is something however you do have the power to change. If you need it, ask, people can only say no. You've already made a start on that by coming here and talking about your thoughts. How about we leave it there and meet next Tuesday to talk more. On Thursday you and Callie can start going over everything we've talked about here today."

Nicole stood and held the door open for Arizona to walk through, Nicole noticing Arizona starting to limp a little. As Arizona crossed the threshold she spoke again.

"One last thing. From one doctor to another you need some serious massage therapy done on your leg. I've only met you in person twice and I can see from a mile away that you're covering up your pain. This is the perfect opportunity for you to work on changing your habit of not asking for help. You are a proud woman and want to do things for yourself but we all need a helping hand now and then. I do believe you know a good Ortho surgeon who could help you. See you on Thursday Dr Robbins."

Nicole closed the door saying the last part in a sing-song voice leaving Arizona to stare at the now shut door. Nicole sure had her pegged. Her leg had bothered her for weeks but she'd been too stubborn to get a check up with Dr Moore. David had been so patient with her in the beginning and he was always on hand to help her when she got fitted or needed adjustments. But after everything that had happened she'd been so preoccupied and she had let the pain get worse and it sometimes got the best of her.

The only time she felt relief was when Callie gave her that massage after her mother's funeral. Of course that was an embarrassing memory she wanted to suppress. Waking up to being laughed at by your family was bad enough, coupled with the fact she was in her underwear made it a potential therapy session on its own. Callie had been so quick to help her put on her jeans after she realized what was happening so it hadn't been too bad but she still recieved plenty of teasing over dinner.

Arizona slowly walked to her car, started the engine and drove along the city streets back to work. She checked in with the nurses and after being satisfied everything was fine she headed into her office. Arizona locked the door, took off her pants, removed her prosthetic and sat down, trying to massage the leg herself. She sighed and looked towards the ceiling. Only one person ever got the massage right and it was her wife.

Nicole had a very good point. Her stubborn behaviour was one of the reasons they'd gotten in this mess in the first place. She kept telling Callie she was fine instead of opening up and telling the truth. Well not anymore. Arizona picked up her cell phone and dialed. Callie answered on the fourth ring.

"Hey you. What's up?"

Arizona sobbed a little from the pain. "Callie I need you. I'm in my office, can you come now?"

"I'm on my way."

As Callie hung up Arizona slumped back in her chair knowing help was on the way in the shape of her knight in dark blue scrubs.