Hair! (Nope, Not the Musical)
The crazy lonely witch stole him from his parents the day her black cat died.
She flew back to the enchanted forest on her broomstick and locked him inside the tall stone tower.
He grew up into a tall handsome man.
His smile was sweeter than the finest chocolate, his eyes brighter than the sun.
The birds sang to him.
The wind whispered stories in his ears.
He wanted to see the world.
He wanted to be free.
The witch treated him well, but he hated feeling lonely.
On his 18th birthday, the old old witch fell very very sick.
She knew her time was up.
She took hold of his hand and gazed him in the eyes. "My dearest Joseph, you will be free to leave this tower the day you find true love."
The witch died and melted away into nothing.
He cried, cried, and cried.
Then one day, a princess came.
She had clear blue eyes, and wild crazy hair.
He leaned against the window as she looked up toward the tower.
He fell in love.
He knew he had to find a way to get out of the tower.
He looked down at himself and thought of a greatest idea.
He braided his long dense curly chest hair into a ladder and threw it out of the tower window.
The princess widened her eyes and gasped.
Her giant white horse got frightened and plunged and neighed.
"Geez."The princess said, turned the horse around, and ran away without a backward glance.
"Wait!" He panicked and yelled, "Cupcake, stop!"
The princess didn't stop.
She ran all the way back to the castle and, years later, married the love of her life, a tall muscular Mocha Latte pirate who had a Million Dollar Smile and a heart of gold.
And up to this day, the lonely hairy man is still locked inside the tall stone tower, waiting for his true love to come.
Sometimes when the wind brushes past the trees in the enchanted forest, you can hear the desperate whispers if you try hard enough:
"Cupcake..."
"Cupcake..."
"Wait..."