Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or RWBY.

Veritas Aequitas

36.5: A CHIBI-E-A-U-Tiful Day!

It was a wonderfully bright day at Beacon Academy.

Team RWBY had gone off to investigate the academy's pool and Team JNPR were at Vale's hottest arcade, Nora was determined to beat her high score.

Team NHKS had declined going off with either of them to watch the festivities of the Vacuo's Big Five Intermediate Tournament (it had been renamed due to a new sponsor, a candy bar of all things). However, that wasn't until later in the evening, so the guys decided to enjoy the sunny day and talk about their academies during a picnic.

"Yeah, that Karen chick was almost as creepy as Hinata Hyuga," a shorter, more compact version of Kurama said thoughtfully before he finished off his beef sandwich.

Naruto, whose head was even rounder than before compared to his small body, looked at him oddly while he grabbed another wrapped sandwich from the picnic basket.

"Which one was Hinata again?" he asked.

"...The Hyuga in our grade, dumbass." Kurama and Sasuke – yes, he too had a big head, but that was like that before the animation shifted – deadpanned. Naruto stared at them blankly and they simultaneously clapped their hands over their faces. Kurama recovered first, using the pause to snatch Naruto's sandwich and ignored his team leader's indignant squawk.

"Lavender eyes, baggy clothes, always had short hair with them, what do you call 'em, those straight princess bangs?" Kurama tilted his head in thought and ripped the sandwich out of its wrapping. He took a bite out of it. "I know they got their own name because they're used in those pervy comics that Sasuke has under his bed."

Sasuke choked on the rest of his Everybody Loves Grape soda. He forced a swallow and then glared at the foxily grinning teen.

"You swore you'd never speak of those!"

Kurama shrugged and took another bite of his sandwich.

"I lied."

"Oh, you're speaking of a Hime cut. That style was made popular back before The War by some western nobles of Vacuo," Haku – who looked absolutely adorable with his enormous cranium – said helpfully. He shrugged at the odd looks sent his way. "What? You have your hobbies and I have mine. Don't judge."

"...Fair enough. How was she creepy?" Naruto asked, looking back at Kurama. He grabbed an energy drinks that Sasuke reached for and popped the tab. He smirked at the scowl on his best frival's face before he took a bite of the sandwich Haku handed him.

"Well, there's her X-ray semblance that I'm certain she abused constantly because of Ino's peer pressure. Then there was the whole random passing out whenever she passed us in the hallways. The constant blushing and finger fidgeting whenever someone tried to talk to her. And finally, the nail in the coffin, was that she stalked you for most of Academy." Kurama answered nonchalantly. The whiskered blond nodded as he took a drink from his aluminum can. Kurama smirked and counted down with his fingers from three before he pointed at Naruto.

As predicted, Naruto promptly spat out what he was drinking. Consequently, he doused both Haku and Sasuke in a bizarre amount of backwash and a good portion of sticky energy drink. Both pretty boys were unamused, but Kurama laughed hard.

"She stalked me!?" Naruto asked, wide eyed and suddenly feeling the need to take fifteen showers. "For almost all of the Academy? Wha-How?"

"Wait, you still didn't know?" Kurama asked, before he looked at Sasuke. "You didn't tell him?"

"She stopped during the last year and started dating Inuzuka. I figured there was no harm no foul." The teen grumbled as he wiped Naruto's spray from his face.

"That...that is so not cool! She stalked me! Did you guys know this whole time?!" Naruto asked, looking between his two friends. They nodded and the blond gaped before he grabbed his head. "What the fuck guys?!"

"I have to side with Naruto on this one," Haku said with a nod. He frowned at his teammates.

"Actually, everyone knew. It was so painfully obvious she liked you, so no one did anything, figuring that she'd either nut up or shut up." Sasuke grumbled, still sour from being used as target practice.

"You guys are supposed to be my friends! Why didn't you say anything?! Why didn't Sakura say anything?!" Naruto asked.

"Not sure." Kurama shrugged. "Personally? I thought it was a riot."

"Fuck you, fuzz butt!"

"As much as I'd love to, I'm pretty sure that Yang would try to kill me."

"Same." Sasuke shrugged. "That and again, I figured no harm, no foul. It wasn't like she broke into your house when you weren't..."

The three boys suddenly became very quiet. Haku, dried off and back to eating and enjoying the revealing conversation, looked around confused.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"The Wave Mission." Sasuke muttered.

"We were only gone for a month, but you don't think she'd actually." Kurama trailed off. He shook his head. "No. There's no way, she could've. I mean, your apartment had security, right Naruto? Your anti-intruder defenses of doom were all set up, weren't they? ...Naruto?"

"...I think I know why all the boxers I left behind were missing, now." Naruto's eyes were wide and his arms were wrapped around his body. He shuddered and pulled his knees in. Haku, Sasuke and Kurama stared worriedly at their team leader as he began to rock back and forth. "So...unclean..."

"...I think it would be wise to never have another picnic." Sasuke deadpanned.

"Yep." Haku nodded, using a Mirror to dump the basket and the remaining food into the garbage can two feet away.

"Good call." Kurama agreed.

"Stalker...Took my underwear..." Naruto began to suck on his thumb. It was then and there that Team NHKS decided that picnics were a thing of the past.

A hand slammed down next to Naruto's head. The sudden impact caused him to snort awake. His head flung up, uncaring for the drool that was at the corner of his mouth, and he began to look around frantically. He examined his arms, body and legs, patting them down and sighing in relief when he found they were normal sized.

"Naruto? Are you okay?" Obito looked worriedly at the blond boy seated beside him. They were at a small restaurant waiting for their check. Obito had decided to treat the teen as an apology for walking in unannounced, even though he still thought that walking around naked – no matter where you were – was weird.

"Huh? Yeah? Is Hinata around?" Naruto asked as he resumed checking his surroundings, even looking under the cushion of his seat.

"Hinata? ...You mean Hiashi's kid?" Obito asked. When Naruto nodded and continued to look around worriedly, lifting the nearby table, the bionic-armed, one-eyed man shook his head. "Nah, she's still over in Vale. She's part of the MEDC-in-training."

"Thank god..." Naruto sighed in relief as he slumped back down in his seat. "My boxers are safe..."

"...Are you sure you're okay?" Obito looked at the tower of empty bowls and hummed. "You know, I think that Wasabi Ramen isn't agreeing with your stomach."

"What?!" Naruto snapped his head up and glared at the older man. He pointed at Obito dramatically. "You shame my parents' and my honor by even fathoming such blasphemy!"

"...Okay, yeah, no more Wasabi Ramen for you." Obito deadpanned. "Ever."

AN: Okay, a little omake chapter, but I totally forgot to add it in at the end of the last chapter – that's my bad! – and while it DOESN'T seem important, it very well could be. Maybe. Possibly.

Definitely.

Also, that Wasabi Ramen was a shout out. If you can figure out to what, you get a cyber cookie! Huzzah!

RELEAKEDVOL4TRAILERHADTERRIBLEQUALITY!