First of all, thank you so much for helping to get this story to over 100,000 views to start off the new year! I NEVER expected my little writing exercise to gain such a following, and it's so awesome to read all of your supportive reviews. Thanks for sticking by me even when life gets hectic and I can't find time to write!

Now, when we left off, Hermione just endured perhaps one of the most awkward encounters of her life…but as the dust settles and she reflects on everything she's experienced thus far, is she happy with what she has, is she thinking of going back, or is she thirsty for even more…? See for yourself, dear reader, and as always, enjoy!

Chapter 36

"Hermione-"

"I'm fine, Lucius," Hermione snapped, ripping off her cloak as Lucius shut the Manor's front door behind her.

"But-"

"I said I'm fine!"

Lucius fell silent at this but clearly didn't appreciate the way she was speaking to him, pursing his lips and eyeing her with disdain.

The silence only lasted a moment, because Lucius couldn't help himself. "Why do you push away the person who is trying to help you? What do these walls accomplish?"

Hermione snorted. "Oh, coming from the open book of Lucius Malfoy! I could ask you the same thing!"

"But I'm not the one yelling at the person who is still here for me."

Hermione's retort died on her lips. Lucius was right. While Ron had long abandoned her, Lucius was by her side through the whole ordeal. That didn't make her feel better in the moment, however, and all she could muster was a simple, "You're right. And I'm heading to my room before I can do or say anything to ruin this relationship too."

Lucius's features actually softened at this as he said, "Hermione, that's not what-"

But Hermione merely spun on her heel and hurried into her room, slamming the door behind her wordlessly.

Lucius remained in the silent hallway for a moment before sighing heavily to himself and making a slow ascent up the stairs, shaking his head and muttering.

Hermione threw herself across her bed like a child and finally allowed the tears to well up and spill onto her cheeks. They weren't entirely tears of sadness; some were of loss, but many were of anger. She just couldn't believe the nerve Ron had, inviting her to his and Lavender's engagement party and revealing that he had regifted Hermione's engagement ring, the one she had left on the table the same night she discovered the two in her bed because she felt too guilty to keep it…

She didn't want Lucius to see her like this, to see her tears and think that she was weak or pathetic, because that was how she felt. She didn't exactly miss Ron…she missed the Ron she once knew. And that Ron was clearly gone. That man standing on the stairs who let a girl verbally abuse his longtime friend…that wasn't the Ronald Weasley she had fallen in love with all those years ago.

An hour or so later, there was a knock at her door. At this point, Hermione was just laying in her bed numbly, but she still wasn't ready to face Lucius yet.

"Go away!" she snapped, but an unexpected voice answered.

"It's me, Hermione. Lucius let me in."

Hermione rose from her bed and cautiously unlocked her door. Ginny was standing in the doorway, cradling the promised leftovers in her hands. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief and was admittedly happy to see her but wished that she still wasn't so upset.

Ginny wasted no time in pointing this out, either, and quickly declared, "Bloody hell, 'Mione, you are a mess."

Hermione rolled her eyes but stepped aside to allow Ginny into her room. She set the leftover plates on the armoire while Hermione sunk back onto the edge of her bed. Ginny crossed the room to join her and rolled her eyes. "Hermione…why on earth are you so worked up over my idiot brother?"

Hermione sighed. "It's the principle, Ginny."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Well if it makes you feel any better, the party ended pretty shortly after your departure. Mum was furious, obviously. Even Percy scolded the pair of them after you left. Bill and Charlie were upset for sure, but George was livid. He went off on Ron and Lavender both and wouldn't even sit at the table to eat dinner…" Ginny forced a smile, but Hermione wasn't looking at her.

"He was one of my closest friends, Ginny…And he let Lavender just berate me in front of everyone and even gave her my ring..."

Ginny sighed heavily. "Yes, Hermione, my brother has become quite the tosser. I think we've established that already. And he completely abandoned you today, I agree. But you know who didn't?"

An unspoken name passed between them.

"Listen, Hermione," Ginny took her hands in hers, "I am not exactly a Lucius Malfoy fan. I mean, the man has hated my family for as long as I can remember…he basically fed me to Tom Riddle and his basilisk, for Merlin's sake! But…ugh I can't believe I'm saying this…I'm sure today also wasn't easy for him, and he would never set foot in our home in addition to being cordial to his sworn enemies if he didn't feel for you in some way."

Hermione let out a heavy sigh. "And yet I've started pushing him away too…"

Ginny rubbed Hermione's shoulder sympathetically. "Trust me, if today didn't scare him off, I doubt a simple shove from you would do him in."

Hermione still didn't look at Ginny; her eyes were fixed on the floor. Ginny sighed and rose from the bed slowly. "Listen, I'm going to get out of your hair. You have your own issues to deal with in regards to men other than my idiot brother, and I don't want to be here when they're dealt with."

Ginny retched, and Hermione finally raised her eyes to her and cracked a small smile.

"I just wanted to come check on you and make sure you were okay. But, if I'm honest, today has helped bring me around a little. Now I don't entirely doubt that you are in good hands. Old, wrinkled hands, but still good hands," Ginny said teasingly before turning green again. "Wrong phrasing, ugh, I don't want that image-"

"Ginevra, go. I'll walk you out."

The pair exchanged smiles, and Hermione rose from her bed with a groan.

Ginny drew Hermione into a tight hug at the front door and said, "I love you. Remember, if you need anything, I'm just an owl away. Harry and I are always here for you, no matter what."

Hermione let a genuine smile escape her lips as they separated. "Thank you, Ginny. It means the world to me."

A slight sadness washed over Hermione as she watched Ginny leave, walking to the edge of the Manor's boundary before disapparating with an echoing crack.

Hermione shut the large front door as quietly as she could, but even as she turned and expected Lucius to be looming behind her, he was nowhere to be found. She wasn't sure if she was disheartened or relieved at this, but she padded back into her room nonetheless to change into her nightgown.

After brushing her hair at the mirror, Hermione's attention wandered over to the leftovers on the table, she saw there was a handwritten note on the top of the pile of food.

Hermione,

It was so great to see you again. I'm sorry things ended the way they did… Just know that you are welcome at our home anytime. We all simply hope for your happiness, with whoever that may be.

Molly

*break*

About an hour later, long after the sun had set, there was another knock at Hermione's door. She was much more composed than she had been earlier, and she knew that she had to face him at some point, so she quietly rose to open the door.

There was Lucius, the same yet somehow different. He was only in a pair of black lounge pants and a white shirt unbuttoned to the midline of his chest. His staff was still clutched in one hand, but he looked both tired and humbled somehow. She wondered what he had been thinking over the hours they were separated, after she had snapped at him. She also wondered what he was here to say now…

"It is close to the time you usually retire," Lucius began formally, "and I wanted to fetch you before you fell asleep."

Hermione nodded slowly. It was time for her to head upstairs.

"I wasn't sure what your appetite would be like, but I had Dipsy bring up a small plate to the room, should you be interested."

The room. Not "my room" or "our room." Somewhere ambiguous and in-between… Hermione thought to herself, but she forced a smile all the same.

"Thank you, Lucius," Hermione said sincerely, hoping that he understood that this thank you was for much more than just the food. An awkward silence passed between them before Hermione announced, "Let me just grab a book and I'll be right out."

Lucius nodded, and Hermione ducked back into her room and snatched a random book off the shelf. She had never met a book she didn't like, and she knew she was in no state to fall asleep yet, so she would just need something to keep her occupied.

When Lucius opened the door to the master bedroom, Hermione was greeted by the warmth of the fire roaring in the hearth. On the side table by "her side" of the bed was an assortment of meat, cheese, and crackers as well as a glass of water.

From behind her, Hermione heard Lucius tease, "I thought about cookies and warm milk, but I know you're sensitive about your age." It seemed like he was testing the waters, and Hermione forced a smile, but Lucius could see the strain on her face.

Hermione propped a pillow up against the headboard and sat down, cracking open her book before haphazardly picking at the plate beside her and forcing herself to nibble on a couple things, even though she was the furthest thing from hungry. Lucius resumed his usual post in one of the armchairs facing the windows overlooking the Manor's lawn.

Hermione's eyes skimmed the words on the page before her, but her brain didn't pick up any of their meanings. Her mind was still back at the Burrow, thinking about Ron and Lavender. It seemed like Ron didn't even care about her anymore…did he ever truly care? Or was she just a means to an end, like Lavender was? That horrid girl wearing the same ring she and Ron had picked out together after he had asked her to marry him at the edge of the Black Lake, a moment she still remembered like it was just yesterday. Was she really that easy to forget, to replace…?

Hermione let out a frustrated sigh and slammed her book shut. The sound clearly startled Lucius, who snapped his head to look in her direction. Hermione said nothing, tossed her book on the ground, and blew out the candle on her end table, plunging her side of the room into darkness. She positioned herself on her side in a huff, frustrated that her brilliant mind was hung up on such a stupid dilemma and that her emotions still had such control over it.

She stared out into the darkness ahead of her and tried to hold in her tears, but it was no use. She wasn't sobbing; in fact, she was silent. But as she blinked, rebellious, unwelcome tears were squeezed onto her pillow in the quiet darkness. She hardly heard the fire being extinguished and Lucius rise from his chair.

She was startled by a weight sinking down on the other side of the bed, but she resisted the urge to turn around. She heard the pillow rustling next to her and smelled Lucius's cologne as he sat up in bed next to her, settling in and cracking open a book of his own.

"What are you doing?" Hermione finally asked, making sure that her voice didn't tremble as she quickly wiped the tears from her face.

"Merely reading, Miss Granger," Lucius responded coolly, and she could feel his inquisitive grey eyes on her back. "Am I not allowed to read in my own bed when you occupy it?"

"No, I just…You're never in it the same time I am," Hermione muttered, feeling stupid.

"At this point, I believe the house to be mostly secure," Lucius responded simply. "I believe I can spare a few minutes to relax before returning to my post."

So he wasn't planning on staying there for the night. That was both a disappointment and relief for Hermione, and she didn't know how to respond. All she could think to do was to wiggle further to the edge of the bed until she was nearly falling off in order to put more distance between them. She didn't know what she wanted, but she figured Lucius probably wanted to be left alone.

"I don't mean to evict you, Ms. Granger," Lucius's voice said. "You are more than welcome to your half of the bed."

Hermione did not respond, wrapping her arms around her small frame and curling up as far as she could without falling off the bed. Without the fire burning in the hearth, the room felt substantially colder, and Hermione felt more alone than ever despite Lucius's close proximity. The tears threatened to burst forth once more, but Hermione gritted her teeth and held firm-

"Hermione…" Lucius's pleading voice met her ears and resonated in her heart, and she heard him shut his book and set it aside, "just…please-"

She didn't wait for him to finish his sentence. The sound of his voice was too much, and she felt the tears start to fall again. She rolled over to face him, feeling like a pathetic, repulsive mess, ashamed to show her brokenness but realizing she had no choice: Lucius was just as stubborn as she. She tried to muster an excuse, an explanation, just a word to justify what she considered idiotic tears, but before a single sound could escape her lips, Lucius's arms wordlessly enveloped her and drew her into him.

Lucius moved his pillow back down to the mattress and laid on his back, allowing Hermione to wrap her arm around him and rest her head on his chest. She felt one of Lucius's hands clutch her back while the other one pressed into her hair, holding her to him.

Hermione didn't dissolve into sobs, but her tears fell quietly onto Lucius's lapels as she gripped him even tighter. Lucius didn't ask questions or make demands that she share anything with him. He didn't try to get to the bottom of what she was feeling. He just gently smoothed her curly hair while petting her head, a gesture of kindness Hermione once believed impossible for such a man.

With her ear pressed into his chest, the strong, rhythmic sound of Lucius's heartbeat resonated in Hermione's ears, and before she realized it was happening, she slowly drifted off to sleep.

THUMP, Thump, thump, thump, thump…