Evangeline managed to steal Georgiana's three-fourths full bottle of wine when the girl was distracted. She pointedly ignored Erik's curious, timid glances as she sipped from it. Nevermind that it was giving her a headache as it always did. She needed the fuzziness that the wine brought along with the bloody headache now that her world was crashing down around her yet again.
Were all her schemes destined for failure? Why was the universe so set on wearing her down like waves beating against a rock until nothing remained but sand? Was it not enough to grow up knowing that she'd never be good enough to satisfy her mother, regardless of how hard she tried? Or that she'd never go to University as Freddie has done. Or that she'd be forced into a loveless marriage because her family's lineage and society demanded it of her. Now she was to be forced to suffer through finding the one person who understood her, wanted her, and maybe even cared for her, only to lose him in four weeks because she wasn't worth staying for.
She decided that there really must be a God, because it was unfathomable to her in that moment that the universe could be so pointedly cruel without some force behind it driving it along towards entropy. So that left her with wondering what she could have possibly have done to have deserved such cruelties.
Evangeline took a long sip of wine and tried to force the mutinous emotions and thoughts back down before the tears spilled over.
Georgiana, as always, was oblivious.
"What is your family estate like?" the girl asked.
"Quite large," Evangeline answered roughly.
Georgiana finally took notice that something might be amiss as the girl stared at Evangeline with a curious look.
Evangeline cursed herself for being so foolish and forgetful, then forced a pleasant smile onto her face. "It's been added onto by various ancestors, you see. The result is charming, if a little confusing at times. I will give you a grand tour once we are settled in tomorrow. The estate has twenty-three guestrooms, plus a dozen for the family, and another twenty for the staff. And there's a glass house, a large garden, a small ballroom, two dining rooms, and an enormously well-stocked library."
Georgia smiled, apparently mollified. "And you have sitting rooms?"
Evangeline stopped herself from rolling her eyes, but just barely. She set the wine bottle into the sand beside her. Perhaps it would be best if she stopped before she made things even worse. "Of course," she said with saccharine sweetness. "You will like the rose room, best, I think. Mother has decorated it in seafoam green with pink cabbage roses."
Georgiana nodded and looked eager to see it. "That sounds absolutely lovely. I adore roses."
Evangeline contained her snort. Of course she would.
"Pink is my favorite color," the girl announced.
Evangeline bit back her withering comment. Of course it was.
Erik stirred beside her and drew her attention away from Georgiana's ceaseless chatter about the girl's order of preference for rose colors.
Evangeline flicked her eyes towards him, then looked away. No, they couldn't talk here. Not now. Not with her there.
He bent his knee then settled an arm onto it and leaned forward towards her. Evangeline felt fear grip her. She would not do this. She would not allow him to make his excuses now and break her heart in front of this silly girl. She refused to be weak and let Georgiana see her at her weakest crying real tears. Fake tears, perhaps, but never real ones.
"Georgiana," Evangeline interrupted the girl's incessant chatter. "Would you like to gather up some more seashells? We could bring them home with us tomorrow and decorate the gardens with them."
"Oh that sounds lovely," Georgiana agreed and stood up.
Evangeline watched the girl brush sand from her skirts.
"Are you not coming?" the girl asked.
Evangeline made shooing motions with her hands but smiled to soften the refusal, "I am a little too tipsy, I think, to wander about by the waves, but I would dearly love to see what you can find and then tomorrow we will spread them by the roses together."
Georgiana nodded but seemed a little hesitant to leave the fire.
"Go on! The moon is full, you will be able to see well enough. I think I saw some truly remarkable purple ones down by the large boulders yesterday. They would look ever so lovely by the pink rose bushes," Evangeline prodded gently.
Finally the girl agreed and padded off to go shelling one last time.
Before Erik could break the silence Evangeline held her hand up in the air to stop him. "Don't," she whispered. "Please… don't. I just… I want to pretend that you are not about to explain to me all of the reasons why you can not stay here… with me. Can't we just pretend, for a little while, that you don't plan to leave?" she begged him as she looked out at the rolling waves. She couldn't bare to look at him right now while he was breaking her heart yet again.
The pin pricking of tears threatened her eyes and Evangeline bit the inside of her lip hard to deter it.
"Eva," he started, his voice low and soft.
She shut her eyes and shook her head. "Please, let us just enjoy our time together… what little of it we have left," she added once she was sure that she could keep her voice even.
A thought flitted through her mind and she latched onto it and spoke before she could think about it twice and change her mind. "Do you know how to fight?" Evangeline asked Erik quickly as she turned towards him on her blanket.
He looked at her surprised, and was quiet for a moment as if he was trying to figure her out.
"Yes," Erik admitted finally as he stared at her.
"With your fists, I mean," Evangeline clarified needlessly.
The corner of his mouth tipped up as he grinned at her. "That's typically what people mean when they speak of fighting," he said sarcastically.
"So that's a yes, then?" she sassed back. And some of the tension between them lifted as they returned to some sense of normalcy. The threat of tears passed as she felt some small sense of control ease back into her.
"Yes," he confirmed.
"So you could teach me, then?" Evangeline probed pointedly.
Erik leaned back a bit and tipped his head to side and studied her. He shrugged. "If you wish. Although I am not certain why you'd wish to learn."
Evangeline gave him a mischievous smile. "I made a promise, if you will recall. And I always keep my promises."
He looked at her thoughtfully, then stared at the fire for a bit. Eventually he seemed to come to some sort of conclusion because he stood and grabbed her hand to haul her upright.
"Raise your arms and make fists, keep your elbows bent and your hands close to your body," he began. "No, put your thumb on the outside. If you throw a punch with your thumb tucked into your fingers you'll merely break it," he chided her gently.
Evangeline reformed her fists and smiled when he nodded. He mimicked the jutting nature of a punch and she watched as he twisted a little at the hip as he swung his arm forward. She'd had no idea that one used their whole body when they meant to strike another person. But it was a little like how one lunges in fencing, so the movement was not so completely foreign to her.
"Keep your knees bent and your stance as wide as your shoulders so that you don't lose balance," he instructed.
Evangeline squared her shoulders and widened her stance a little. Her feet fell into the familiar footwork that she'd learned as an adolescent alongside Freddie.
"Now, instead of merely trying to hit your target, you should instead pretend that you are hitting a box just behind them. Your force will travel further and do more damage that way," he added.
She pantomimed punching someone three times and tried not to lean into him as he moved towards her to correct her posture like he had the first time she played the piano for him. He'd settled into his tutor persona well enough, but she hadn't counted on herself becoming distracted too. It was a bit unsettling how often that happened around him.
"Good," he proclaimed. "Now strike me," he ordered.
"What?" she asked, completely surprised.
He arched a brow at her. "What good is learning to throw a punch if you are too afraid to hit another person?" he goaded her.
Evangeline scoffed. "I am not afraid to hit another person," she protested.
He grinned, and seemed pleased with her answer. "So you're just too timid to hit me, then?"
She scowled at him, then smirked as she settled back into her fighter's stance and raised her fists back into position. "Challenge accepted, sir," she said to give him just enough warning before she let her fist fly towards his face.
At the last second of her punch Evangeline realized that since she was right handed her fist was now headed straight towards the masked side of his face. She'd grown so used to it that she often forgot that it was there. It had simply become another part of him. But it was too late now for her to stop her momentum as she punched him.
Erik moved so fast that she hadn't even seen him shift before she realized that he had someone managed to catch her up into a locking hold. He'd grabbed her fist and used the force of her movement to turn her so that her back was held tight against his chest. His arm was twisted around hers, and her fist was clasped lightly in his own grip as he caught her before she could stumble drunkenly into the fire. She was far tipsier than she'd thought.
She laughed at the sheer surprise of being caught so off guard as she collapsed her weight against him. But then the fingers of his other hand ghosted along her ribs and waist as he held her to him. It was the closest that they'd been in weeks, and the sudden proximity set her need for him on fire even as she relaxed into his grip.
Even as distraught as she was that he planned to leave her and had never told her so, she realized that she still wanted him. It was pure, unadulterated selfishness. She realized that her words from earlier were true. If they only had a month together then she would make it the best month of their lives. Even if it would only hurt her more when he eventually left her. Perhaps that made her a masochist. Or perhaps it was just denial. Did she still hold out hope that in four weeks he'd change his mind? Well it's worth trying.
His fingers drifted up her torso towards her breasts when a gasp sounded from just a few feet away.
Evangeline's eyes shot open. She hadn't even been aware that she'd shut them. But now they were open again and she was staring at a very confused and slightly scandalized looking Georgiana.
"Eva?" the girl asked warily. Seashells dropped down into the blanket as the girl raised a hand towards her face and glanced between the two of them.
Evangeline felt the flare of anger in her belly but shoved it back down, alongside the arousal that Erik had resurfaced so easily with just a touch.
"Georgie!" she exclaimed happily as Erik released his hold of her and helped set her upright in the moving sand. "Erik was just teaching me how to punch. But I think the wine has made me even more tipsy than I'd thought. I slipped, and he was good enough to catch me. Do you want to learn fisticuffs as well?" Evangeline asked in a rush of feigned enthusiasm. The best lies were the ones told with just enough truth to make them both believable, and memorable. Erik's fingers withdrew from her as Evangeline settled back onto her own two feet.
"Why would I want to learn how to fight?" Georgiana asked warily as she shifted on her feet.
Evangeline faked confusion as she glanced between the girl and Erik. "Well, it never hurts to learn a new skill. And who knows when it might come in handy? London can be a very dangerous place sometimes."
"I do not think that it is proper for ladies to learn how to fight," Georgiana protested.
"Less proper than being mugged in a dirty alley by a ruffian?" Evangeline asked a bit too aggressively.
"Why would I ever be in an alley?" Georgiana asked, a little horrified sounding.
Evangeline suddenly realized who she was speaking to and merely nodded her head. "You're right, of course, I don't think that you ever would be. But it never hurts to learn, just in case. What would you do if you were being attacked?" she asked curiously.
"I would scream," Georgiana said, as if the answer were obvious.
Evangeline bit the tip of her tongue to stop herself. Of course the girl would scream. She'd properly scream her proper head off until she got stuck in the ribs with a knife and was properly murdered like a good little girl. But there seemed little hope of convincing the poor girl otherwise, and there was no reason to scandalize her further when there was nothing for Evangeline to gain from it. So Evangeline bit down her sharp retorts of what if there was no one to hear you as well as what if there wasn't a man there to save you and she settled for a smile that she hoped didn't look too condescending.
"Of course. Well… did you find any good seashells?" Evangeline asked to distract the chit.
Georgiana bent down to retrieve her meager collection of shells. Evangeline stepped away from Erik and pretended to coo over each and everyone of them until Georgiana was smiling easily again.
"No purple ones?" Evangeline asked with a note of disappointment in her voice.
Georgiana shook her head. "I did not see any."
"Did you look over by where Jonathan and I were walking the other day?" Evangeline hinted.
"No, I did not go that far," the girl denied.
"Oh… I see… no… no this is fine… I suppose. Only… well, these will do, I guess. I'd just thought that the purple ones would be so pretty with the pink roses and I know that those are your favorite flowers. Everytime I see the pink roses with the purple shells I will think of you and our friendship. But we can do without them… I suppose," Evangeline maneuvered.
Georgiana bit her lip and looked between the seashells in her hands and then back up at Evangeline's carefully disappointed, sad face.
"I could go and look again," Georgiana offered weakly as she carefully set the collection of shells onto the blanket.
"You would not mind?" Evangeline exclaimed.
And then before the girl could say anything further Evangeline had kissed her cheek and turned her about with a pat on the back to spur her forward. Georgiana wandered off onto the moonlit beach with just one last look over her shoulder as Evangeline turned her attentions back towards Erik.
Erik looked down at her with an amused smirk. "There are no purple shells," he guessed once Georgiana was out of earshot.
Evangeline grinned and held a finger to her lips. "Would I lie about such a thing?" she mused aloud in a teasing voice.
He narrowed his eyes at her. "Absolutely."
Evangeline threw her shoulders back and shifted her feet and hips back into position as she raised her fists back up into place. "Those sound like fighting words," she cautioned.
Erik was no less prepared for her this time as Evangeline threw a punch at him. She was no longer scared of hitting him since he'd so easily disabled her before. Indeed, he merely raised a palm to absorb each blow as she swung at him until they were both laughing and tired from the exertion. Her knuckles were pink and smarting from hitting his open palms. She wondered idly what would happen to them if she actually hit a man properly.
When her arms were aching and her head was swimming (she'd not been lying about how much wine she'd drunk, she really was tipsy) she collapsed wearily into the sands and held her hands up in mock surrender.
"Take pity!" she beseeched as he settled down next to her.
"You're getting very good," he humored her.
Evangeline cut her eyes at him, entirely unimpressed. "You no longer get to call me a liar, maestro."
He grinned at her, and Evangeline wondered if he knew how handsome he looked when he let himself forget to be self-conscious.
"You're so beautiful," he murmured. And then Erik leaned forward, grabbed her chin in his fingers, and kissed her deeply before she could think to protest. When he pulled away she tugged her chin from his fingers and cast a wary eye down the beach where Georgiana had disappeared down earlier.
"She might see," Evangeline cautioned.
Erik shook his head and tried to kiss her again before Evangeline put her hands on his chest and shoved him back. It hurt to reject him like this. But they needed to be careful, or else they risked everything.
"She won't. She went back up to the house a few minutes ago," he told her.
Evangeline's eyes widened in surprise as she glanced down the empty beach, then swiveled to look up towards the dark house.
"What?" she asked in alarm, no longer trying to keep her voice quiet. "How long has she been gone?"
"Only a few minutes," he answered, sounding confused. "I thought you'd be pleased. We rarely get any alone time now."
Dread sank into Evangeline's belly as she considered why Georgiana would leave without saying anything. Her eyes scanned the blankets by the bonfire and noticed that the seashells and wine bottles were gone.
"She's gone to the cellars… to show the shells to her brother and return the undrunk wine," Evangeline surmised.
And then she was up off the beach blanket and racing through the shifting sands towards the house. Her tired muscles protested the movement after sparring with Erik for who knows how long. But adrenaline pushed her along.
She had made it up the stone steps and was halfway through the garden before Erik caught up to her and jerked her to a stop with a hand clasped tightly around her wrist.
"Let go!" she hissed as he stopped her momentum abruptly. Her shoulder smarted from the jerking motion, but she was too panicked to care.
"What the devil has gotten into you?" Erik seethed quietly between clenched teeth.
Evangeline tried to pull her wrist free from Erik's grip. "Let go, Erik. I have to stop her."
He looked pained as he stared down at her in confusion. "I thought you'd be happy… why are you running away from me?"
"You don't understand. This has nothing to do with you. Now let me go," she pleaded as she tried to tug her arm free once again.
"Not until you tell me what is happening. It's like I don't even know you, sometimes. I don't understand? Then make me," he complained as his grip on her wrist tightened almost painfully.
Evangeline stopped struggling against him knowing that it was useless. He was far too strong and there wasn't any time. She tried to think of a plausible lie to tell him. But the fear and anxiety that was coiled within her made it too difficult to think. She settled, instead, on the truth.
"My brother likes the company of men," she started. "Jonathan's company, to be precise. They are lovers. And his little sister, who is as oblivious and innocent as a newborn lamb, has just gone to the cellars where they last told me that they were headed," she finished quietly.
Erik stared down at her with a dumbfounded expression and said nothing.
"I have to stop her. Let me go, Erik," she ordered forcefully as she jerked against his hold.
Erik's grip on her arm slackened and Evangeline pulled her wrist free as she yanked the garden door open and disappeared into the dark house.
She only hoped that she wouldn't arrive too late.