Puck's POV

Seventy one, seventy two, seventy three…

"How much do those weigh?" Ellie was nestled in the corner of my bed, fiddling with my iPod. I sat at my computer desk in an old pair of sweats and a tank top, lifting a set of weights I'd nabbed from the football locker room.

"50 pounds," I estimated, although they felt a hell of a lot heavier than that. I reached 100 reps and set the weights back in their holder. Sighing, I stared down my Ohio State acceptance letter, willing it to disappear. Ellie got up, coming to stand next to me.

"Are you really going there next year?"

I slowly shook my head. "I'm not going anywhere, Ell. I promise."

"But Mom said…"

"I know what Mom said. Mom's wrong. I don't care what she says… Ohio State is still too far away. Either I stay in Lima or I leave, and if I was leaving, it sure wouldn't be to go to Ohio State."

"Oh. Hey, Noah?"

"Yes?"

"Why doesn't Rachel come over to watch movies with me anymore?"

"Because… well, Rachel's mad at me because we aren't going to be living in the same place next year. She broke up with me."

"But I thought you loved her."

"I do."

Ellie leaned on her elbows on the old maple desk. "Then why does it matter where you live?"

I hesitated, but it wasn't like I could lie to my little sister. "Because it's really hard to love somebody when you don't get to see them a lot."

"But Rachel doesn't live far away yet… so why are you mad at each other when you still get to see each other and be together? Shouldn't you just be mad when you can't see each other? That seems like a waste of time to me. I'm never going to have a boyfriend when I grow up. It sounds stupid."

"Yeah… sometimes it's pretty complicated."

"I think you should go talk to her, Noah. I want to watch Rent again."

I was in the middle of a crisis and all my little sister wanted was her musical buddy. I shifted over and checked the clock on the wall. "Don't you have somewhere to be? I'm kind of busy right now, Ellie."

"Mom's gonna take me to the movies with Ashley and her mom in five minutes." Ellie leant in and hugged me. "Noah? If you ever talk to Rachel again, can you tell her I miss her?"

When Ellie and my Mom were out, I downed five cans of Labatt's before I started losing track of reality. In my haze, I could see Rachel's scorching brown eyes, smell the scent of her hair, feel the brush of her fingers teasing at my skin.

I don't know how I got there or when, but at some point that night, I found myself on the Berry's front porch, washed up and lost, knocking on her door. I didn't really know why I was there. A booty call? To beg for forgiveness? Ellie's misguided plea?

All I knew was that my head was buzzing, and when she opened the door, dressing in flannel pajama pants and a tight purple t-shirt, she looked like an angel. A vision.

Her hair was being held back from her face with a white headband, and it looked like a halo.

An angel of the first degree.

I think that was from a musical we once watched together, but I couldn't remember right then. I was slammed out of my mind. The first words that left my lips were: "Geez, Rach… you look good."

Her eyes were hard and her lips were pursed. She looked mad, which made her look even hotter for some reason.

"Noah," she greeted coldly. "Did you need something?"

I searched my mind for something to say. I just want to come in? Can we talk? I'm sorry about our fight?

I ended up with: "I want things to be like they used to."

That was when she started into a crazy Rachel-lament which, I realized, was even harder to follow when you were bombed.

Her arms were crossed. "I can understand why you would want that, Noah, but it's obviously not going to happen. A couple of days ago, I would've wanted the same thing, but now I realize that we can't reconcile. I thought I could trust you, but I was wrong. I really thought we could rely on each other. I really thought I loved you, Noah!"

God, she said all that in one breath, and her face was going pale.

"What the… Rach, I know you're mad because I can't move to New York with you, but I can't see why we can't…"

"Noah, save your breath. There's no point anymore! If you can't at least come and tell me things that are happening in your life, then I don't want to tell you about mine!"

"What the heck are you talking about, Rachel?"

"You know what I'm talking about Noah! Don't play dumb with me!"

"But I really don't…"

"I don't know why I ever trusted you! You broke my heart, Noah Puckerman." She turned on her heel, slamming the door shut so hard that the porch railings shook.

Wonderful. Just wonderful.