Disclaimer: I don't own APH.

AN: So, ever wonder why England and Russia don't like each other? Here it is! By the way, this has no historical backing whatsoever, it's just an idea I got this morning and typed up before practice.

"So, why don't you two like each other?" America asked, instead of concentrating on the topic they should have been discussing (what to do about the AIDS epidemic) at the UN meeting.

England looked up from the paper he'd been writing on. "Who? France and I? We've—"

"No! You and Russia!"

America shout got everyone's attention. Russia had a 'I'm going to kill you if we discuss this' look on his face as he stared at America. America smiled back pleasantly, having the unreal expectation that the wooden table between them would slow down Russia.

"We like each other just fine," England said matter of factly.

"No…you two are always fighting and arguing and just glaring at each other."

France added, "Oui, mon cher, what's the story? I don't even know."

Just about all of the other nations nodded in assent. So, they could get to an agreement on whether or not England and Russia got along, but they couldn't agree about what to do with any other conflicts. Great.

Through gritted teeth, England turned to Russia. "Russia, why don't you explain why you don't like me, since I have no problem with you."

Russia smiled. Latvia started sobbing uncontrollably. "You wrote a book about me, da? 'Animal Farm' was the title."

Both Russia and England relaxed. They thought they'd dodged a large bullet there.

America was not convinced. "You two didn't like each other even before Russia turned communist."

"You actually read the book?" England asked, surprised.

"Yes. Now, enough deflecting. What's the real story?"

The two in question glanced at each other.

-

"Hi, I'm England, but you can call me Arthur."

"I'm Ivan. I'm Russia. Do you like sunflowers?"

Young Arthur held out a hand. "Yes, I know where some are right now. Want to go see?"

Young Ivan grabbed onto Arthur's hand tightly.

-

"Brother!"

"It's Belarus!" Ivan said nervously. "What do we do?"

Arthur stood up. "You go. I'll handle her."

"No, you can't. She'll kill you."

"I think I can handle your little sister."

-

"Arthur! Are you all right?"

"I-I'm fine. It just looks worse than it is."

"Hold still. I'll clean you up," Ivan ordered sternly.

"Ivan?"

"Da?"

"Thanks."

Ivan smiled. "You're a friend. It's what friends do."

-

It had been an innocent enough day. They'd decided to play fight, nothing for real. However, in the tumble, Arthur grabbed Ivan's scarf and fell. There was a ripping sound. Half of the scarf was in Arthur's hand. The other half was falling off of Ivan.

Crying, Ivan shouted, "You're mean! I hate you!"

"I didn't mean to!"

Ivan tossed the rest of the scarf on the ground. "Ukraine gave that scarf to me! I hate you!"

He ran away.

-

Arthur grabbed the other piece of the scarf and worked all through the night. He went to see Ivan, who was still angry. Gently, Arthur placed the newly fixed scarf in Ivan's hands.

"I'm sorry."

Cold, Ivan replied. "'I'm sorry' isn't enough. We'll never be friends again."

-

"Hello? England? Russia? Are you there? You both just sort of zoned out and didn't answer the question," America said angrily.

England and Russia glanced away from each other. England said, "Enough. We need to discuss…AIDS. What are we going to do about the epidemic?"

AN: I think it's cute. This is what happens when I type in the morning before practice, which I have to be at in ten minutes, which means I have to leave now. Shoot.

Once again, no historical background. Does anyone know why England and Russia don't like each other? Because I can't find any conflicts between them anywhere, and it's sort of bugging me.