Title: Miss You The Most – fluff

Word count: 890

Author's Notes: prompt by anon. A serious talk at night. I made them fetus!Ianthony, hope that's okay. ^^

"I'm done with that shit!", Ian yells angrily and throws his controller across the room. Fortunately it lands on the bed, so it doesn't break in two.

"You're just pissed because you died again!"

"Yes, I am!" Ian scoffs. "Why can't we play something else? You know I suck at platformers!"

Anthony pauses the game and lays down his own controller.

"We could play… Mario Kart?"

"Maybe later. Can we go outside? Just for a few minutes? I need some fresh air."

The taller boy nods, smiling. They exit Anthony's room, and walk outside of the house. They decide to stroll down the street to the playground, which is not far away.

"I'd love to play a game where I don't die every fucking five seconds.", Ian begins their chat. "Mario Kart is fine, but it gets boring after a while."

"Well, we could always play Pokemon.", Anthony replies, hands stuck in his hoodie pockets.

"Yeah, I guess so."

They walk alongside each other in silence until they reach the playground. They sit down on the swings and breathe in the fresh and cool night air.

"Anthony?"

"Yes?"

"Do you… you know… like… Do you think about dying?"

"Not really, no. Why? Do you?"

"Sometimes. Not intentionally, but it happens from time to time. And then I get all shivery and my stomach churns. So, I try not to think about it."

"Are you scared of dying?"

"Yes! Aren't you?", Ian exclaims, a slight hint of fear and nervousness ringing in his voice.

"No, why should I? I can't control it anyway. So, why bother?"

"Yes, I know that death is inevitable. Still… I don't like the thought of losing everything, and leaving everyone I love behind."

Anthony doesn't respond to that but stares to the ground, digging a small hole in the sand with his feet and getting his white sneakers dirty.

"Do you know what you're gonna do after high school?", he asks, changing the subject.

"I'm not sure. I got some ideas. Maybe something with sports. Or computers. And you?", Ian asks back.

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it yet. I got some ideas, but nothing concrete."

A moment of silence and peace falls between them. Ian takes a deep breath. They are alone. No one can hear them. No one can see them. If not now, when?

"Anthony?"

"Hm?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Anthony flinches so abruptly that he almost falls off the swing.

"Girlfriend? No! Why do you wanna know?"

"No reason. Just curious."

"Oh. Okay. I thought…" He pauses. "Never mind."

"Why?", Ian asks on.

"Why what?"

"Why don't you have one?"

"I don't know. You gotta ask the girls that question. Maybe there's something unlikable about me."

Ian smiles at his friend, gentle and loving.

"They would be really stupid if they thought that. You are very likable, Anthony."

"Yeah, right. I make you play games you suck at." He snickers.

"If it's just that, I can live with dying."

Ian chuckles and jumps off the swing. He takes a few steps before stopping again. He looks over his shoulder. Anthony cannot really tell if he's smiling or being serious since it's already nighttime and the dim lit playground is not helpful either. Also, Ian has pulled the hood of his sweater over his head. Some of his bangs are visible, though, covering his eyes.

"I'd miss you the most."

Anthony looks at Ian curiously, not understanding quite what he is trying to say.

"Come on, let's go back."

Anthony gets up and joins Ian. Together they walk back to his house. Each of them has his hands stuffed inside their hoodie pockets. They leave a bit of space between them. Not a single word is spoken.

"I'd miss you the most."

The words keep ringing in Anthony's head. When would Ian miss him? After high school? Is he planning to leave Sacramento? Is going away to some outer-state college? Miss him how? When? Why?

When they arrive at the house, they take a few snacks to Anthony's room, getting comfortable. Anthony lies on his bed while Ian has plopped down right in front of it, each boy on his Gameboy playing Pokemon.

"Dude, I just caught Articuno!", Ian shouts excitedly after an hour has passed.

"Awesome!" Anthony lays down his console and looks down to check out Ian's success. "That's so cool!"

Their heads brush against each other, just for a second. Ian blushes when he feels Anthony's hair tickling his cheek.

I'd miss you the most. Ever minute. Every hour. Though, I don't know if time exists after death. I'd miss looking at your face. Your eyes. Your lips. Your beautiful smile that brightens my days. I'd miss running my fingers through your soft hair, messing it up and making you mad. I'd miss being with you, holding your hand, our shoulders touching. I'd miss our embraces and hugs, our times spent on the couch, cuddled up in a blanket, you resting your head against mine, an arm around my body.

Anthony backs away again and focuses on his game. Ian lets out the breath he has been holding in until now. Stupid. He is being stupid. Miss you. Yeah, right. There is nothing to miss really. After all…You cannot miss something that's never gonna happen, right?