A/N: Not much of an a/n, just check out the blog for the playlist and a VERY important announcement regarding me, so please check it out. Also issuing a tissue warning.

Edward

Thanksgiving was ten days ago. Christmas is less than a month away. And in three short days my heart was going to break.

Bella drove home late that night. I almost begged her to just stay, even just on the couch if it would make Charlie feel better. I knew she was trying to hold it together but I knew she was upset. Emmett and I still got up early the next day and went in to training, but got sent home early. Captain Webber had given us the all clear to spend the rest of the weekend with our families before we left bright and early Monday morning.

I drove over to Bella's after dinner to spend some time with her, but she was completely out of it. We lay on the couch and watched television with Charlie for a while, but I don't even think she knew what she was watching. Her eyes stared blankly ahead, blinking only every so often just so she would seem alive. I ran my fingers through her hair as she rested her head on my chest, but my mind was running a million miles a minute. I didn't want it to be like this. I knew it wasn't going to be normal. We were sitting around waiting for me to leave. A part of me wished that they would just come and whisk me away without any notice. I think the knowing is worse than not knowing. The overwhelming feeling of the impending loss was so heavy in the room even Charlie shifted uncomfortably every few minutes. His movements created an awkward sound against the leather chair, but Bella never stirred. She never looked his direction, or laughed at the sound. Nothing. It was like she was a ghost.

I looked down at her and noticed her eyes start to flutter every now and then as she fought to stay awake. I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her temple. "Sweetie why don't you go to sleep?"

"Will you come lay with me until I fall asleep?" She mumbled.

I looked towards Charlie, asking if it was okay. He smiled, almost apologetically, and nodded.

"Of course."

She slowly got up and stretched before immediately reaching for my hand. I followed her upstairs and lay down on her bed. She quickly changed into her pajamas and crawled in beside me as I wrapped the covers around her.

I was never a singer, but I found myself humming her a lullaby while she fell asleep. It didn't take long. I knew she was trying to fight it, but exhaustion finally overtook her. I could have slipped out right then, but I took advantage of this moment because nothing was more beautiful to me than my Bella sleeping.

As midnight approached, I decided I'd stolen enough time with her. Truthfully it would never be enough, especially when you only have so little left, but I had a feeling Charlie was getting antsy. The fact that I used that as my excuse was pretty ironic considering what I was about to do. It wasn't something I'd planned, but as I sat there watching her drown I knew I had to do something. I refused to let our last few days be like this.

The living room was dark when I went downstairs, but I could see a light on in Charlie's office. He must be finishing up some work. I took a deep breath before walking over and knocking lightly on his door.

"Come in," he called.

I stepped inside and he looked up briefly from his paperwork. I smiled and sat down in the chair in front him, trying to compose my thoughts.

"Just spit it out Edward," he finally said.

"I…I want to take Bella away for the rest of the weekend."

I anticipated his outburst but he just kept writing. I took it as a sign that he needed more convincing.

"Charlie I know she's still in high school and I'm not trying to undermine your authority or pull a fast one on you here, I just…I don't want her to sit around here like a zombie waiting to tell me goodbye. I can't let her do that."

He looked up at me and sighed. "Okay."

My brow furrowed in confusion. "Okay?"

"Didn't you hear what I said boy? I said okay. She's my baby girl and I know she's hurting right now. I'm not blind Edward. As long as you get me the information about where you're going and call me when you get there, I think it would be a good thing for her."

I'm pretty sure I was in shock. I thought I was dreaming because there was no way Charlie was telling me that this was okay. But he was.

"Uh….okay. Thanks Charlie." I nodded and got up, leaving Charlie alone in his office.

I got up extra early the next morning to get everything together. I Googled like a fucking crazy man trying to find the perfect place but I knew it as soon as I saw it. It was pure luck that it was available on such short notice. Apparently the people who had rented it this weekend had to leave early for some reason.

I hesitated calling Alice, but I needed some help with this. I wanted it to be a complete surprise, so my plan had to be flawless.

"Cullen, you better have a good reason to be calling me this early," she grumbled.

"Well little one, it involves clothes and a surprise for Bella so I figured you'd be game," I smiled through my own exhaustion.

"Clothes!" She squealed.

"Yes. Now listen very carefully…" I elaborated my plan for the day and she willfully agreed to be my accomplice. I picked her up a half hour later and headed over to Bella's. Alice hid in the back of my car as I parked and went inside. Charlie was already awake, but I knew it was too early for Bella. I crept up the stairs and into her room, smiling when I saw her still sound asleep. I counted to three before leaping onto the bed, careful not to crush her.

She screamed for an instant before realizing it was me. She slapped me gently on the chest and tried to pull the covers closer. "What are you doing?" She grumbled.

"I'm taking you out to breakfast. Let's go." I slapped her behind and jumped out of the bed.

"Why so early?" She yawned.

"Why not?" I shrugged. "Come on."

She argued for a few more minutes, until she was sure she'd put up a good fight. She quickly threw on some sweats and pulled her hair up.

"Well, well…" Charlie laughed as we descended the stairs. "I don't think I've ever seen her up this early."

Bella rolled her eyes at him and walked out the front door. She started towards my car, but I grabbed her arm, not wanting her to see Alice.

"Why don't we take your truck?" I nodded towards the rusty bucket.

"Why?"

"I don't know…change it up a little," I lied. I knew perfectly well why we weren't taking my car. We weren't taking it because it was already loaded up with my things for the next two nights and by the time we got back Alice would have it ready to go with Bella's as well.

I made sure to take my time eating my food. I wanted to give Alice enough time. Knowing her she'd pack Bella's entire closet.

When we got back to the house, I smiled noticing the extra bags in my car. Bella was completely oblivious. Charlie and Alice were sitting in the kitchen having a cup of coffee when we walked in. Bella seemed obviously surprised to see her there, but she just smiled and joined them at the table. I found everyone's eyes wander to Bella, anticipating what was coming next.

"What's going on?" Bella finally asked, noticing everyone was looking at her.

"It's a surprise!" Alice yelled.

"For me?" She asked, softly. Alice nodded. "From who?" Alice smirked my way. Bella turned towards me. "What is it?" Her voice was so lifeless. I prayed to God that this would help.

"Well if I told you the surprise before you get it, it wouldn't be a surprise would it?" I winked. "But we do have to get going."

Bella looked towards Charlie for approval. "Have a good time," he said, waving his hand towards the door. She smiled meekly and kissed his cheek before starting towards the door.

I quickly darted towards Alice. "Did you have time to run into town and get it?" I said softly.

"Of course I did." She seemed almost disgusted that I would doubt her. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a small pouch. I took it from her and discreetly put it in mine. "Thanks Alice. For everything."

"Have a good time. I'll see you Monday morning?"

"You're coming?"

"Of course. I'm Bella's best friend. And I guess I think you're pretty okay so I should probably see you off." She smiled and pushed me out the door.

I took one more look at the map and then we were off. Bella's hand instantly found mine as soon as it was free. She turned her head towards me and watched me as I drove.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. Just…watching you."

"Okay," I laughed. "What's your assessment?"

"Most beautiful thing I've ever seen," she whispered.

I cleared my throat, trying to choke back the emotion her words made me feel. I knew we needed this, but it was still going to be hard. At some point, I knew one or both of us was going to lose it. And we'd be there for each other as our world tumbled down around us.

I turned on the radio and Bella eventually drifted off to sleep. I knew she hadn't been sleeping well. Charlie said he'd found her both nights down in the living room watching television at three in the morning.

My thumb traced small circles on her hand as I looked up at the sky. Something about the clouds looked different. Not threatening, just different. I looked around at the bare, dull grass and wondered when it was finally going to snow. I hoped she'd have snow for Christmas. I remember her saying one time that ever since she'd moved here she couldn't imagine Christmas without it.

The ride only lasted a couple of hours. I double-checked the address again before pulling onto a hidden driveway just off the highway. It twisted and turned back, winding deeper into the woods. A small cabin suddenly appeared out of nowhere. It reminded me of those ones you see in paintings, almost like a moment of happiness captured in a picture.

I put the car in park and just stared for a few moments, taking it all in. It was absolutely perfect. I couldn't bear to wake Bella up so I cautiously carried her inside and right to the bedroom. She was so deep that she didn't even stir. I went out to the car and brought the rest of our things inside before deciding to join her for a nap.

I snuggled into the bed next to her and traced my finger down the middle of her forehead to the tip of her nose as I drifted off. A while later I registered some movement beside me, but I wasn't quite ready to open my eyes.

"Why are you getting out of bed?" I whispered.

"Where are we?" She said, her voice thick with sleep.

I finally opened one eye and smiled. "Do you like it?"

Her eyes danced around the room, which I had to admit was very rustic. She took in the elaborate wood detailing and intricate fireplace situated in the corner before turning towards me. "It's beautiful, but…I don't understand what are we doing here?" She lay back down and snuggled close to me.

"I rented it for us. Until Monday." I cleared my throat and started playing with her fingers.

"You did?"

"Yeah. I thought we needed some time alone."

"But don't you want to spend your last days with your family?"

"Bella you're a part of my family. And they understand."

"So we're alone for the rest of the weekend?" A hint of a smile escaped onto her face.

"Yeah. I mean if that's okay with you?"

She nodded and buried her head into my chest. My stomach grumbled as I contorted my body to look at the clock beside the bed. It was almost five o'clock. We'd slept the day away.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

"I guess a little bit."

"Alright let's go see what we have to work with."

We both slithered out of bed and headed towards the kitchen. The lady had told me it should be fully stocked, so we should have everything we need to make a decent meal. Bella pulled out some vegetables and started cooking them on the stove. I remembered seeing a grill outside so I got some chicken out and went outside to get them going. I shivered as I waited for the grill to heat up. It was definitely getting a lot colder.

Bella finished with the vegetables as I brought in the chicken. It would have almost felt normal if there wasn't the huge invisible elephant in the room. Bella mechanically put out some place settings and set the bowls of vegetables on the table. I set a piece of chicken on her plate as she sat down and she offered me a smile, nothing more. I sat down beside her and we started to eat in silence. I stole glances at her after every bite, but she was completely focused on her food.

"What's on your mind baby?" I said softly, sitting back in my chair and placing my hands over my full stomach.

She shrugged and pushed her food around on her plate. I sighed and shook my head.

"You know it just makes it worse not talking about it," I said.

"I highly doubt it could get any worse," she mumbled.

I threw down my fork, feeling a hint of anger deep down inside me. "What do you want me to do Bella? I'm trying to make this easier for you and you're not….you're just not helping. At all."

"You really think anything could make this easier for me?!" She glared and shook her head.

"What do you want me to do?" I repeated slowly. "What?"

"Nothing. I don't want you to do anything." She scooted her chair back and darted into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Shit," I whispered to myself. This is turning out to be a great idea.

I decided to give her some time alone. I knew her well enough by now that sometimes it was what she needed. I took care of the rest of the food and even washed the dishes before I decided to venture towards the bedroom.

I knocked softly but she didn't answer so I went inside anyway. She sat on the edge of the bed kicking her feet as she played with a strand of her hair.

I leaned against the doorframe and crossed my arms. "Why can't you talk to me?"

"Because I'm angry." She sniffled. "I'm so angry I could just….scream."

"Well why the hell don't you? I brought you here to try and get you away from all the shit waiting for us at home. And here it is ruining everything." I sauntered over to the fireplace and lit some of the kindling. "I know it's not going to go away Bella but if you need to do something, do it. If you need to scream, scream."

"I can't…" She shook her head.

"You don't think I want to just scream sometimes? You don't think I want to let it all out?" I stood up and deliberately walked out of the bedroom. I marched across the living room and threw open the front door. As I stepped out into the darkness I let out a scream, so deep and so penetrating it hurt my throat. And I did it again and again.

I felt her step up behind me. "Edward?" She said, placing her hand on my back.

"Do it Bella."

She cleared her throat and stepped forward.

"Take everything you're feeling, every little bit of anger and scream it. Just let go," I said.

Her eyes darted from side to side before screaming out into the darkness. I watched as she doubled over, yelling out again. It felt timeless, like we could have been out there a minute, an hour, a day. She finally composed herself and turned towards me, wiping a tear away from her cheek. She nodded and I put my arm around her shoulders, leading us back inside.

"I'm going to take a shower," she said, smiling slightly.

I sighed as we walked into the bedroom. She started rummaging through her bag as I grabbed a book off the shelf and sat down on the floor to tend to the fire. I heard the shower eventually start and I lounged in front of the flames, feeling its heat start to warm up my body from being outside. I was so engrossed my in book that I didn't even hear her come back in.

I jumped as she threw her things down on her bag. I closed my book and smiled. She wore one of those big fluffy white robes, the kinds you see in fancy hotels.

"This was in the bathroom, I hope its okay to use it." She wrapped her arms around herself and started towards me. She knelt down in front of me and started anxiously fidgeting with her hands. "Listen I'm sorry about how I've been acting I just…I thought I knew how to handle this and I don't."

"It's okay." I brushed a piece of damp hair away from her face and leaned in to press my lips to hers. "It's okay," I mumbled again against her skin. She parted her lips and allowed me inside as I ached to get a taste of her.

Her fingers tangled in my hair as she held me to her, refusing to let me leave her. I instinctively moved closer, claiming my territory and pushing her gently down on the floor. My hand slowly inched down from her face to her collarbone as I sucked on her bottom lip. I fingered along the opening of her robe, feeling the soft fabric beneath my fingers. I slipped inside, gently pulling the robe away from her skin. I could still feel the dampness of the shower lingering.

I pulled back, reaching over my shoulder to pull my shirt off and became completely entranced by her bare body laid out before me in the glow of the fireplace. Small droplets of water remained, glistening across her skin as the flicker of the fire danced over her. I stood up and quickly slipped off my pants before kneeling back down in front of her. She instantly reached for my dog tags and pulled me roughly towards her. I ducked beside her lips and kissed down her jaw.

"Edward," she whispered, grinding her hips against mine.

"Not yet…" I growled. My lips traveled down her neck and across her chest, taking my time on each side. Her hands grabbed my hair and pushed me down further. My tongue swirled around her stomach, just below her bellybutton. I smiled against her skin as a shiver ran through her body. "Do I do that to you?" I whispered.

She whimpered and nodded her head fiercely.

"What about if I touch you…here?" I curled my hand around her knee and scooted down to kiss her there.

"Yes," she breathed.

"And here?" I slid my hand up further and placed a kiss on her inner thigh.

I smirked as she bit down on her lip.

"And….here?" I ran my fingers along her center before diving in, covering her with kisses.

She whimpered and slammed her fist down on the floor.

I slid up her body as she wrapped her legs tightly around me. Her fingernails dug down my shoulders as she clung to me. I was pretty sure that she'd scratched me up good, but honestly I love being marked by her. Claimed as hers. I'd wear them proudly.

I finally grasped firmly onto her hips and lifted them up and I slid myself painstakingly slow into her. I tried to concentrate on all the little shifts her face made with my movements, committing each one to memory. My favorite was when something surprised her. Her lips created the perfect pouty circle as she clenched her eyes shut. And then a few moments later, after the shock wore off, her face relaxed into this smirk and she laughed a little under her breath. It was fascinating.

I leaned down and kissed her roughly, sliding my tongue along her lips. My dog tags fell with a thud against her skin, landing right on the left side of her chest. Right over her heart.

"I love you, so much," I said as my breathing started to grow ragged.

"Forever," she nodded back and tried to maintain her composure. I increased my movements, knowing we were both close. I hovered above her, placing my forearms on either side of her head as I watched her come undone. Her cheeks went flush as she cried out. I almost collapsed on top of her, but I managed to hold myself up as I let go.

Tears started flowing down my cheeks and onto her shoulder as my breathing slowed. I made a move to roll over but she grabbed hold of me and kept me there.

"Can we just….stay like this for a minute?" She reached up to wipe my tears away as her own escaped from her eyes.

I pressed my forehead to hers and nodded. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

She started sobbing more and more as the moments passed and I wasn't ashamed to join her. And then we were just silent. It was strange how with Bella we could have a complete conversation without any words. I knew exactly what she was saying just by looking into her eyes.

A few minutes later she started laughing. It was a low chuckle at first, but slowly gained momentum.

"What is it?"

"I just….I have to pee….really, really bad. But I don't want to go." She smiled and laughed again. "Kind of like when you're so comfortable in your bed in the morning but you have to get up or your bladder is going to burst."

I smiled and leaned down to kiss her before rolling over, freeing her from my weight. She jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

I glanced over at my pants, knowing what was in the back pocket. I didn't have any elaborate plans to give it to her, but it just felt right. I got up and quickly pulled some sweatpants on before grabbing the little pouch out of my back pocket. I snuck a quick peak inside before Bella returned.

"What's that?" She asked, reaching for her robe again.

"I got you something." I smiled and watched as her eyes drifted to the pouch. "Come and sit with me." I sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to me. "I didn't want to leave without you understanding something. And I know that you don't need something….material to prove how much I love you, but I like getting you things so." I reached inside and fumbled for the small piece of jewelry.

Her breath hitched in her throat and I knew exactly what she was thinking. "Edward, you really don't have to pro….pose…" Her voice drifted off as I pulled the ring out of the bag. "Is that a mood ring?"

"Yes it is. I want you to have some kind of….representation of us." I shrugged and took her hand, placing the ring on her finger. She held it up close to her eye, examining it.

"It's blue." She smiled. "What does that mean?"

"Happy." I smiled as she looked at it again. "You thought it was an engagement ring didn't you?" I mumbled.

She nodded her head softly, looking embarrassed.

"Bella I have every intention of marrying you someday. And I'm not saying that to be cheesy or over dramatic. I'm just saying it because it's true. I'm going to marry you someday. But I wouldn't ever want you to think I was proposing because I was leaving. I'm going to do it when it's right for us."

She nodded in understanding. "Well I'm just letting you know in advance that I'm saying yes."

"Okay good." I leaned forward and kissed her. "Are you ready for bed?"

She nodded and scooted up the bed and under the covers. I tended to the fire for a few minutes and went to lock up before joining her. I snuggled up close to her and we both drifted off to sleep, completely oblivious to the outside world.

Bella

"Bella, wake up…" Edward whispered. I felt his palm softly caress my jaw. "I promise you that if you open your eyes right now, you'll be the happiest person in the world."

I slowly opened my eyes and smiled when I saw his face. "Good thing you kept your promise."

"That's not what I meant. Look outside." He nodded behind me towards the window. The curtains were drawn but it looked unbelievably bright behind them. My shaky feet fumbled across the cold floor and threw open the fabric.

"It snowed," I said smiling. "There's snow!" I looked out the window again. Everything I could see was covered in sparkling white snow. "Can we go play?"

"Absofuckinglutely. Go get dressed." He laughed and jumped out of bed. I ran to my bag and grabbed all the warm clothes I could find. I piled on about three shirts and a big, comfy sweatshirt. Edward appeared a few minutes later fully dressed with hat, gloves and scarf in tow.

He placed the hat on top of my head and handed me the gloves as he draped the scarf around me. "Let's go."

We started outside and I was completely captivated by everything. I jumped out into it and looked around.

"Gosh isn't this just so beautiful." I turned back towards Edward and was promptly hit with a large snowball square in the chest. "Ouch! You hit my boob!" I yelled as I bent down to grab some snow and get him back.

"I guess I'll just have to rub it later!" He stuck his tongue out and darted around the house.

"Oh you think you can run sir, but you are quite wrong," I whispered to myself as I crept around the house. I turned one corner and then another, always ready with my ammo. I walked around that whole damn house and didn't see him once. There weren't even any footprints. "Edward?" I called as I came to the front again. I let my guard down for one second and was quickly tackled from behind. Edward and I tumbled to the ground and he landed clear on top of me.

"Gotcha," he smiled.

I laughed right back as I lifted my snowball that had somehow managed to remain intact. I slammed it down on his head and watched it crumbled over him. "Gotcha," I teased.

He got on his feet and pulled me up with him. For the next couple of hours we made a snow fort and snowmen. One for me and one for Edward. For some reason my top two globes didn't want to stay and ended up falling on the ground making me look like I was bending over in front of him. Edward wanted to fix it but I told him to leave it. I thought it was hilarious.

We had a great day together, plain and simple. But as the night started creep in so did all my fears and insecurities. Even though he was trying to hide it, I know Edward felt it too. We tried to make conversation during dinner, but it felt forced. It wasn't forced in the way that we didn't have anything to say to each other; I think it was the opposite. Tomorrow was going to change our lives and we had so much to say to each other. Neither of us knew how to even express it in words.

I lay across Edward's lap later that night as he read a book. It felt weird. Almost like we were just waiting for the sun to rise.

I started getting more and more anxious as the minutes ticked by. Edward finally got off the bed and turned the clock around. "You are not allowed to look at the clock anymore tonight," he smiled. "We should probably go to bed soon though, we have an…early start tomorrow." He cleared his throat and got back into bed. We both got under the covers and turned towards each other.

I felt sleep start to stalk me but I refused to give in. Tonight was my night with him. I wouldn't let anything take that away from me.

"You're tired, you should…"

"Don't tell me to go to sleep Edward," I said. "You tell me that all the fucking time and I listen to you, but...you aren't allowed to tell me that tonight okay?"

"Okay," he sighed.

I stared at his face, memorizing every line even though I already knew it by heart. This is my happy place. Right here.

"Edward what's your happy place?"

"What?"

"What's your happy place? You know when you're feeling sad or upset, where's that one place you go in your head to make everything okay again?"

He smiled and pressed his lips to mine. "The meadow. With you."

We stayed up al night just watching each other. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone so much before they even left.

When I saw the sky start to lighten I tried to tell myself I was seeing things. I lied. I made up any excuse as to why the sun was coming up, other than the truth. It was almost morning. Edward turned over and spun the clock back around. "We have to go soon," he whispered. I nodded mechanically and got up. I started packing up all my things, but didn't bother getting dressed. There was no way I was making it to school today. My mind was going to be everywhere else but in class.

Edward emerged from the bathroom already wearing his uniform. I guess we were going straight there.

He packed up our things and we stood out at the car for a long time looking back at the cabin, trying to savor the last few moments we had here.

For the first time in my life, I wanted the car ride to last forever. With each mile I felt the panic start to rise more and more in my stomach.

"Edward you need to pull over." I mumbled, trying to hold back the vomit.

He quickly pulled over to the side of the road just in time for me to whip the door open and lay it on the roadside grass. He leaned over, held my hair and started rubbing my back. "I'm sorry," I said.

"Don't be sorry baby." He waited a few moments before starting on the road again. He looked so guilty but I didn't blame him for all this. The only thing I blamed him for was making me fall in love with him. And I would never punish him for that because it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

He pulled into the recruitment office. The parking lot was completely full of people and cars. I noticed a larger Hummer-looking car in the corner. That must be what they're driving. I spotted Esme and Carlisle standing next to Rose and Emmett. I've never seen Rose look so scattered. She was always so strong, so put together. She grasped anxiously onto Emmett's hand as he spoke with Carlisle.

Edward parked the car and offered a slight smile my way as he got out. He grabbed his duffel from the back and we started towards his family. Esme gave both of us a hug and asked how our weekend went. I barely heard any of it. It was like everything was muffled. Like I wasn't there. All I could feel was the warmth of Edward's hand in mine.

"Bella!" Alice called. She jumped out of her car and came running towards us. I knew that looked on her face. Pity. The sad part was that she'd be going through this soon. And I'd be there for her just like she's here for me. "Hi Handsome." She perked up on her tiptoes and gave Edward a kiss on the cheek.

"Alright boys!" A voice boomed from over by the truck. "It's time."

I stopped breathing so long that I felt my head start to spin. Edward let go of my hand briefly to hug his father, Esme and Rose. Emmett grabbed me in a big bear hug and swung me around. "Don't worry Little Swan. I'll look after him," he whispered.

Carlisle and Esme stood back and gave us a moment of privacy.

Edward smiled and pulled me into his arms. He reached behind me and slipped something into my back pocket.

"I took the liberty of writing the first letter…" He whispered kissing my forehead. He put his finger under my chin and tilted it up so he could press his lips to mine. "I love you."

"I love you."

"Last call boys!" The voice boomed again. I felt myself start to fall apart.

"Keep your eyes closed," he said, his voice cracking a little as he took my hand. He leaned in close to my ear. "I'll see you soon. Keep them closed." He kissed my cheek. The warm enveloping feeling of his hand around mine disappeared and was quickly replaced by a cold, small one.

My shoulders started to heave up and down as the tears started slipping down my cheeks. I wanted so badly to open my eyes, but I didn't. He didn't want me to watch him walk away. I heard the rumble of the truck and then a few moments later it started fading away. It was quickly replaced by eerie silence, interrupted every now and then by sniffles from around me.

I finally opened my eyes and they desperately searched for him, even though I knew he wasn't there. Alice's hand tightened around mine as she pulled me closer. She held me as I cried for endless minutes. Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie gave me sympathetic looks as they passed. I saw Carlisle get into Edward's car and drive away with the last piece of him that was left here.

"Let me take you home sweetie," Alice rubbed my back. She pulled me to her car and sat me inside.

An instant later we were back at my house. My dad's cruiser was in the driveway, along with my truck. Alice walked me up to the door and gave me one last hug, telling me to call her if I needed anything.

Charlie opened the door just as Alice turned to leave. I know he felt terrible, I could see it across his face. And I wasn't ready to see it. I turned and bolted, running around the corner of the house, down the steps and towards the woods. I didn't care that it was freezing, or that there was a foot of snow on the ground. I needed to find his happy place, because I knew that wherever he was right now I could always find him there.

As soon as I hit the meadow I dropped to my knees and sobbed into my hands. I remembered the letter and reached into my back pocket. I pulled it out and fumbled opening the page.

My Bella,

I knew I'd have to write this letter eventually but it doesn't make it any easier. I still don't know what to say. You have changed my life in every way and I will forever be indebted to you for that. I know this will be one of the hardest things we ever do, but I know we can make it. You want to know how I know? Because of you. You are the strongest, most amazing woman I've ever met and I can't wait to come back to you. I don't want you to worry about me; I'll promise I'll keep breathing as long as you do the same. Whenever things seem too hard or you're sad or upset just remember to breathe. Just breathe baby. I love you.

Edward

I read it once more before I tucked it back in the envelope. I lay back, not caring about the cold snow surrounding me.

"Just breathe baby," I heard him whispered. "Just breathe." I concentrated on his voice inside my head and did as he said. It seemed like something so simple. Just breathe. You never realize how complicated it can be.

I finally got up and started slowly back towards the house. Charlie was sitting in the chair in the living room reading a paper. He looked up as I walked in and set the paper down. "Come here baby." He opened his arms to me and I rushed over to him, pulling myself onto his lap. He didn't care that I was sopping wet or cold. He just held me and told me everything was going to be okay. And I just had to trust him.

A/N: I know some of you think I like to make you guys cry, so I just wanted to let you know that I was a sobbing mess during this chapter. It was incredibly tough to write, but I know so many people actually go through this all the time and I am so in awe of them. *HUGS*

Leave me one : )