Gideon cocked his head to the side, "Is there a way to turn this off?"

Chandra laughed, "I don't know is there?"

Gideon looked at her, "That's really helpful. Yours fades. This doesn't seem to go away though."

Chandra cocked her head to the side. It does, doesn't it? Lilianna said Jace's didn't fade because of Tezzeret. But what if that's not true? Gideon's isn't "fading" either. So what else could it possibly represent? Well, Jace is a cat. What do cats usually represent? Um, curiosity? He's always been curious. That's not something he's hidden at all. So then what about whatever happened to Gideon? The ability to literally see the darkness in others would make it easier…to deal out proper justice. That's like his whole thing. So what about a phoenix? The generally represent life and rebirth and stuff. But I don't really have anything to do with life. I kill people…for a living pretty much. So then how in the world did I end up with phoenix wings? What about Lilianna? "Lilianna was indebted to demons wasn't she? That's the whole reason she'd been doing what she'd been doing right?"

Everyone looked at her in surprise.

Kallist nodded, "Yeah. Why?"

Chandra shook her head, "It doesn't matter." She left the room and skipped up the stairs to the roof. She sat and stared at the sky. The wind blew her hair out of her face, "She was trying to get out of those pacts wasn't she? But her upgrade in and of itself was a manifestation of those deals she made. So then what would mine be?" I don't even know. It's like I'm living two completely different lives. So then which one is me? Who am I really? She shook her head, "This is all so bloody confusing."

"What're you doing up here Beautiful?" Ral asked from behind her.

Chandra sighed, "I'm sitting here. And I'm thinking."

"About what?" Ral sat next to her.

"What the 'upgrades' really mean," Chandra sighed.

"Okay, and what'd you got?" Ral asked.

Chandra looked at him. "Really?" she asked dryly.

"Hey," Ral smirked, "Sometimes it helps to talk things out to someone else so don't get all pissed off."

"Whoever said I was pissed off?" Chandra asked.

"When you say it's usually a precursor to you being pissed off," Ral shrugged.

"Oh," Chandra shrugged. "A phoenix usually represents rebirth and new beginnings right?"

Ral cocked his head to the side, "Yeah."

"Okay so Gideon stands for justice and the ability to literally see the darkness in others allows him to deal out proper justice," Chandra turned to face Ral.

He nodded.

"And Jace has always been curious. That's not something he's tried to hide. Okay so maybe he's tried but it's not something he's really able to hide," Chandra smirked.

"Okay," Ral nodded again.

"They know that about themselves. They accept that," Chandra continued, "Lilianna on the other hand did not accept the pacts with the demons. That's what her upgrade represented. Okay maybe I'm assuming but it works in with everything else so it's fine. Anyway, she could shut hers on and off. So can I. Gideon and Jace can't do it. They've both tried. They've both gotten annoyed with it but can't turn it off. So then if being able to dismiss it means you haven't accepted a part of yourself then what am I missing? I mean you'd think Jace would be in my position but he isn't."

Ral cocked his head to the side, "Then maybe there's a part of you that you haven't seen yet. So maybe all it takes is time to unlock it completely."

"When I first got it I lost control right?" Chandra asked, "I don't really remember."

Ral nodded, "Yeah, just a bit."

"Your tone suggests otherwise," Chandra's eyes narrowed. She stood up, "Anyway, whenever they're on so to speak it tests the limits of my control. It pushes at my walls. So maybe that's what I'm missing." She glanced down.

"Um what are you doing?" Ral stood up beside her.

Chandra smirked. So maybe all it takes is a little freedom from my own chains. She jumped off the roof.

Ral stared after her, "What! Hey!" He shook his head, "I'm starting to agree with Jace on this. She's nuts."

Chandra closed her eyes. Please work. Otherwise I might just end up a splatter on the ground. That would not be fun. It would be quite counterproductive. Her wings formed and spread from her back. She cringed as she felt the familiar almost overflow of power. Okay. This is it. My sparking moment so to speak. She chuckled, "That was corny."

Jace looked up, "Please tell me…nope it's done. I'm finding somewhere to hide while she overloads." He sighed, "I never wanted to get involved in these types of situations but I always end up doing so."

"I did it!" he heard an excited squeal from downstairs.

"Nope," Jace shook his head, "I'm not going down there. I'm perfectly-screw it." He opened the door and walked downstairs.

Chandra stood in the middle of the room. She had an excited grin on her face and her mana levels were insanely high and obviously out of control.

Jace cocked his head to the side. So her strength is her lack of control? That's so…her. It's just fitting. "It's not like she was good at control to begin with."

"What?" Kallist asked. He had also come down to see what was going on.

Jace shook his head, "Nothing."

"Okay," Kallist didn't believe him but continued down the stairs. He stopped in front of Chandra, "What did you do?"

"I figured out the upgrades," She smirked, "and why Jace and Gideon can't dismiss theirs."

"Why?" Gideon asked.

"Because they represent a part of you that you've already accepted as being a part of you," Chandra smirked.

"Okay then," Gideon nodded.

"So then why could you dismiss your wings?" Jace asked. He looked her over for a second, "Before now."

"Because even though I'm okay with losing control there was a limit to how crazy I was willing to go," she flashed him an almost challenging look.

"Alright," Jace nodded.

"So," Ral leaned forward, "How do you get an upgrade? And I thought a phoenix meant a new beginning and stuff, not losing control."

"But if you think about it," Chandra turned to him, "it is kind of a new beginning. And I get really mad at people that kill for fun and stuff so there you go. Oh and you have to figure that out on your own. It's something inside you so you have to figure it out."

"For him it's probably something like creating something that actually works without an explosion hazard label attached to it," Jace smirked.

"Hey! I create perfectly reliable things!" Ral turned to Jace indignantly.

Jae met his gaze defiantly, "Oh really?"

Ral nodded, "You bet."

"Would you like to test it?" Jace asked.

Elspeth stepped between them, "We are not going to be testing the destructive ability of Ral's creations."

Ral sighed and turned away from Jace. He couldn't hide the small smile that crept onto his face though.

Jace shook his head in amusement, "Okay."