I am very well aware that it has been over a year since I last posted... and I am very sorry for that! Being an adult really sucks sometimes! But, I've finally had some time to do what I love, so I will post this chapter. It's nowhere near my best, and I know you all will probably not like it all that much, but it sets up for what I am hoping will be a great couple next chapters. Enjoy this little piece I've put together for you!

Chapter 36, Sleepless.

I decided not to fight with Gaara anymore. I would let him baby me until we returned to the village and I recovered my strength. After that apology, that completely melted my heart, there wasn't anything I would say no to. Kiba fell into the background once more as Gaara did everything for me.

It took us about a week to get back to territory I could identify. Gaara carried me the whole way. My wounds still hurt to much to do more than hold on. When we came to the burned down cabin I made him stop. I walked on my own two feet over to it and ran my hand along the last standing wooden post. Whispered voices filled my head and my vision became slightly blurry. Almost like I was looking through a mist. I turned to the right, where the back of the cabin would have been, and stared at my younger, bald self talking to Temari and Kankuro about what I had just experienced with Gaara and Shukaku.

I see the fear on their faces as I tell them about having seen Shukaku and how they said they need to do something, and fast. They all disappeared when Gaara's hand fell on my shoulder. "What is wrong?" He asked softly. I saw out of the corner of my eye him wave of Kiba. He left grudgingly, but I knew he wanted to get back to Akamaru.

I turned to face him. "Where is Shukaku?" I asked.

Gaara's eyes left mine and he looked at the burnt down cabin. "He is still in me. He is the one who told me your grave had been disturbed." He paused. "He told me you were back. I didn't believe him."

"Why?" I asked in a whisper.

He met my eyes again. "Because it was to good to be true." His hand touched the ends of my hair and twirled it around his fingers. "Do you remember when you cut all of your hair off to save us?" He whispered, his eyes now looking at my hair between his fingers.

"Yes," I whispered back. I can still feel the heat of the fires around me. I saved them all. I was the only one that could. The Black Plague was from my world and it had somehow made its way here. My world. I felt my eyes widen. I looked up at Gaara. How did the plague come to be here? Who were those men in black? Questions I never got an answer to.

Gaara looked at what was left of the cabin again. "You were the only one who could protect the world from that disease. You cut off your hair and you burnt your hands to make sure no one else could get it."

"But my blood, it was on my blood," I whispered. My mind was racing. Who were those men? How did they get the Black Plague?

Gaara shook his head. "It does not matter. You tried your best and you saved all of us. Shikamaru and many others would have died if you hadn't done what you did." His fingers grazed my neck. "That is what a protector does. You are a protector, Kira. Protecting others is in your blood."

I frowned. I don't get it.

He searched my eyes. "When you shattered your knees in Suna during the battle against Iwa. You were protecting others by fighting, even though you did not have complete control over your powers. By keeping the twins from me you felt you were protecting them. You protected Savannah with everything you had from the Orangutan's. You are a protector. You protect because you have the power to." He brushed hair back from my face and tilted my chin up until I was looking him in the eyes. "You have always been a protector. But only once have I seen you try to protect yourself."

I knew what he was talking about. When the Akatsuki attacked all of us at the plane. That was the only time I fought for my life and not others. That was when I stabbed Gaara. It was when I had nothing left by me to protect. I swallowed hard. Even then I was thinking about my family back home, how I had to get back to them.

It was so easy to forget the first time. But so hard to forget now.

I stood on my tippy-toes and wrapped my arms around Gaara's neck, leaning my chin on his shoulder, just thinking. What does this all mean? I'm a protector. People and diseases have been coming here from my word for God knows how long. I am not the first, and I know I will not be the last. Pretty soon, unless I can fix it, our worlds will become one. I squeezed my eyes shut. I cannot let that happen. I cannot let our worlds connect. My world would not understand. They would kill before asking questions.

I took a shaky breath and stepped back from him, keeping my hands on his chest. "Then let me do what I'm here for," I whispered. "Let me protect." I finally looked up and met his eyes.

His lips turned up in a small smile as his fingers brushed against my cheek. "Every protector needs someone to watch their back once in awhile."

– –

Ino was waiting at the gates when we arrived. She ran out to us and started healing me before we were even in the village. Guards were everywhere. Reports started being told to me at such a high speed I could barely keep track of who was speaking. Gaara took it all in stride, staying less than an arms length away, saying words I could not find when someone finished a report. Ino kept healing me.

We passed the tents and made our way into the abandoned looking village. I hate this sight. But I kept walking, knowing the closer we got to the mountain the more civilization I would see. And I was right. The buildings closest to the mountain and Hokage tower were crawling with life. I am glad they took to heart what I said and moved out of the cave some. This way the sickness will stop spreading at such a fast rate, and they will all be more comfortable.

I put my hand on Ino's and pulled her away from me. "I am fine now, Ino," I said softly with a smile. "Thank you."She gave me a tired smile and nodded, moving away from us.

I took a deep breath and rolled my shoulders. I am still very very soar, and my wounds are still there, though they are very shallow now. They are bearable. As we continued to the mountain a feeling started to grow in the pit of my stomach. Not a bad feeling, just a needy feeling. A feeling that had me picking up the pace the closer we got. I was almost running when we reached the doors and Hanabi Hyuuga opened the doors for us.

"Where's my children?" I asked in a rush, searching for them.

My need to see my babies is so strong I can't breathe right. "Momma!" I turned to the hall and a large smile found its way on my face. I met them half way and scooped them into my arms. Even Ryuu ran over and hugged me. I didn't even mind the pain it caused me to hold them tightly. I sighed with relief and pulled away from them.

"Were you good while I was gone?" They all nodded. "Sorry if I made you worry."

Jessica tugged on my hand, trying to pull me down the hall. "Kiba said you were coming. Tsunade-sama wants you to see her right away!" My heart sunk.

Savannah.

We raced down the halls to the back rooms of the mountain. I guess I've really never realized just how big this place is. I swung open the door and collided into Kiba. He grabbed me to straighten me, his mouth moving with words that didn't reach my ears. My blood was pounding to loudly to hear him. I pushed him away from me as I stumbled to the bed on the other side of the room. Savannah sat there, staring back at me.

I grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug, relief flooding my body. "Thank god you're okay," I whispered to her. She hugged me back, sniffling back tears.

"I thought they killed you," she whispered. "They wouldn't tell me anything."

I looked at her and pushed her unruly curls from her face. "Nothing can keep me from you, Savannah." I hugged her again. "Nothing."

Jiraiya stood from the chair next to the bed and cracked his back with a yawn. "Well, I guess I should be on my way then."

"No!" Savannah reached for his hand, and pulled him back towards the bed. "You can't leave me, Jiraiya. Please, please don't leave!"

I frowned. Of course I know Savannah knows Jiraiya. They met when he came for me. But just how close have they become while I was away? I glared at him. I hope his reputation is false for his sake. If he touched my sister I will skin him alive. He must have noticed the look I was giving him because his hands shot up and he backed away slowly. "I've done nothing. I swear! Tsunade told me she was here so I thought I'd drop by. A familiar face, you know? I swear I've done nothing!"

He bumped into Gaara as he was backing away. Gaara put a hand on the old mans shoulder and leaned close to his face. "You'd better hope you are telling the truth," he said in a low voice. A shiver raced down my spine. Gaara still has it in him, I see.

But Gaara should have no idea this is my sister. He hasn't had a chance to talk to anyone who would have told him. I waved it off. Kiba must have done a quick introduction when he left her with Gaara and raced to find me. I held onto Savannah's hands tightly. "You are probably full of questions."

She nodded. "Darn right I am."

I smiled softly. I sighed and searched for a place to begin. Gaara showed Jiraiya out then took a seat in the chair that was now open. Kiba leaned against the wall. Tsunade is no where to be seen for once. "Well, this is Gaara." I motioned to him. "You finally get to meet him." I smiled at her. "Gaara this is Savannah... my little sister." His eyes moved back and forth between the two of us.

He nodded his hello to her.

She giggled. "He is exactly like you described. A man of few words." She winked at me. I pressed my lips together and shook my head. Savannah took in Gaara's appearance a little closer. "I can see why you didn't let go. He's hot." I smacked my forehead.

"Savannah..." I made my tone warning. We would not have this conversation with him and Kiba in the room. I wondered where the twins and Ryuu had run off to, but I pushed it to the back of my mind. Probably followed Jiraiya out.

She giggled again. "This place is amazing. Tsunade, that's her name right, the one with big boobs? She let me walk outside a couple hours ago. She's so amazing! She healed my leg right up and it doesn't feel broken at all!"

Was this what I was like when I came here for the first time? So amazed by everything? "She is amazing," I agreed. Also very dangerous, but I didn't add that part. She doesn't need to know about that. "What kind of questions do you have?"

"Can I meet your kids? The twins? Where are they?" She looked around behind me for them, then looked to me with a frown.

I shrugged. "They are running around somewhere. They will come meet you when they are ready. They don't know much about our world, so keep the talk about it to a minimum, okay?" She nodded. "Savannah, there is something I need to know. It will be hard for you to answer, but it is very important that you tell me everything, okay?" She nodded again. "How did you get here and what happened?"

Her face fell expressionless and her eyes turned away from mine. "Kaleb is dead," she whispered. My heart almost stopped. "He was killed in the war. Mom is sick. Losing the two of you has made her health deteriorate fast and Daddy is doing everything he can. I was taking a walk, to get away from the depressing house. I-I don't know exactly what happened. It was stormy. I think I was hit with lightning, but I'm not sure. I woke up here... You know the rest."

I choked back a sob. "Dead?" I whispered. She nodded, tears forming in here eyes, too. I grabbed her and pulled to her to me, holding her tightly. How can Kaleb be dead? No. No, there's no way. My big brother cannot be dead! I let the tears in my eyes spill, but cut them off there. I can't cry right now. I have to be strong for Savannah. I can cry all I want later. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Are you okay?" I couldn't make my voice go above a whisper, so I didn't try.

She nodded. "Thanks to Tsunade I'll be fine."

I ran my hands over Savannah's face. She's always looked so much like Mom and Kaleb. Kaleb. I pushed my emotions to the side. I have to be strong. "I would offer to let you stay with me... but right now this is the safest place for you to be. I hope you understand that."

She nodded. "I understand. Trust me, I don't want to leave right now. I don't want to see anymore of those Monkeys."

"Apes," I corrected with a slight smile.

She rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Whatever."

– –

I wiped my eyes and blew my nose on a tissue. Gaara's let me cry everything out and now he is sitting next to me, rubbing my back. I saw Temari and Kankruo after I left this mountain, with Savannah safe deep in side. Temari and I talked about some of the reports I didn't listen to, what has been done, what still needs to be done. And Kankuro and I talked about the health of our army. This is all stuff Gaara and Tsuane are already aware of, but things I need to be caught up on. I only have listened through it all.

I took a deep shaky breath and laid down on the pillows and snuggled into the blankets. I still can't believe Kaleb is gone. I've had to deal with death many times. But this is my brother. This is the one person who has always been there for me since I was born. He was the one I ran to when a shadow scared me at night. He was the one who would beat up the kid who called me ugly. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall freely. He didn't want me to come back because he was afraid I would get myself killed.

Idiot. You are the one that is dead.

A warm little tongue brushed repeatedly on my cheek until I opened my eyes and looked at Youji. Her head tilted to the side, like she knew I was sad and wanted to cheer me up. I rubbed behind her ears and grabbed her around her middle, dragging her with me as I turned to Gaara. "She's such a brat. She runs off all the time and I never know where to find her. Her father never did that."

Youji put her paws up in the air and tucked her head under my chin. I scratched her belly. "She isn't Renjiro. He was one of a kind." Gaara reached over and flicked her paw lightly. "But she loves you just as much as he did."

I shrugged and hugged her a little tighter. "He was a brat, too."

I've lost my brother and now I am going to lose my mother. Losing Savannah, too, is going to kill her.

Gaara's arm wrapped around me and he pulled Youji and I closer to him. The feeling of his breath on my face was calming.

In the morning I went to see Savannah again. She was getting a little restless sitting cooped up in the room all the time. But I don't think she is ready to venture to far outside. I'm definitely not ready to let her. It's an odd feeling, having her here. I almost want to protect this world from another influence like her. I changed things when I first came here. I want to protect what is, I don't want any big changes. I'm fighting to get back what we had. Peace. And I am worried Savannah's being here will ruin that.

I introduced her to a few more people, something in my stomach knotting up tight each time I did so. And the knot didn't loosen until that person left the room and things were quiet again. Savannah seemed happy enough to meet everyone. She still has not met the twins, though. They are busy helping Ino and Hanabi make another apartment building livable for more than the intended amount of occupants. She liked Temari right away, and I could tell she liked Kankuro, though she pretended not to. I think she felt the perv-vibe he gives off sometimes. Like Jiraiya.

I was soon pulled away from her side to deal with other matters.

Like finding out why I can't touch my powers.

Tsunade and Sakura gave me a check over to see if they could find anything that might be blocking me from being able to do anything. They found nothing. They healed me completely to see if that could have been something, then Sakura checked to see if they might have missed a head injury. Again, they found nothing. I was beginning to worry. If I can't use my powers I am defenseless, and we are down a great advantage.

It was late at night when I finally left Sakura and Tsunade to see Savannah before I met with Gaara and Kankuro about battle plans. She was sleeping when I entered, so I sat quietly in the chair. I watched her breathe, like I used to do when she was a small baby. I would sit in her room for hours and marvel over the fact that I had a little sister.

I rubbed my arms as a shiver ran through me. I should go, I know, but I don't want to leave her. She is the last bit of home that I have. I leaned over and kissed her forehead before I left the room.

The meeting with Gaara and Kankuro lasted until the sun started to rise, and that is when we called it quits for a few hours of sleep.

I got no sleep.

Three days now I am running on only a few hours of sleep. I went through my daily duties like I always did, trying to push my powers problem to the back of my head. I know Tsunade and Sakura are trying everything they can to figure out why I can't use them. It is a big deal, and they know it.

After another two days, I started to feel like I couldn't think or move right. Five days no sleep and with the stress that I can't use my powers to help anyone getting heavier and heavier on my shoulders I just want to pass out. I feel like I could drop to the ground dead at any second. Tsunade has tried all kinds of tests and experiments to get me to sleep or see if I can get my powers back.

I am currently sitting with Savannah in her room in the mountain, my head resting on her leg. She is running her hands through my hair, like Mom used to do when I was little. It feels so good. I closed my eyes and relaxed against her, letting my self completely go. I felt a tear slide down my cheek, but Savannah said nothing. She just kept playing with my hair. I never knew it would be this good to have my sister back. But thoughts of Kaleb wouldn't stop thundering through my brain. That is why I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about him being dead and Mom dying because of her grief over the two of us. I hope she will live on. I want her to be happy. Daddy, too.

A chill swept through the room, making me shiver. Savannah sniffled and wiped her cheeks when I looked up at her. She smiled sadly at me. "Sorry," she whispered.

I shook my head and crawled up on the bed with her, wrapping my arms around her. "Don't be sorry for crying, ever."

I was finally able to sleep.

The last thing I wondered about was the chill in the room and Savannah's sniffle. When I was training Jessica I used emotions to show her how to connect and then eventually control her emotions. Sadness was ice.

Is the chill from my powers finally coming back?

Or could it be something else?

There will be more to come...