Chapter 35

Anders

As the days went by and Marian's time to leave crept closer, she became quieter and quieter. It was beginning to worry me because she spent a lot of time on her own that is when we were not together. I was looking for her because I wanted to spend some time with her and I knew I would find her on the balcony overlooking Lake Calenhad. Her father was due to arrive tomorrow. Even though she was only due to leave at the end of the week, he wanted to spend some time with Irving and Greagoir. I assumed it was because they wanted to chat about their younger days.

I found her sitting on the ground with her arms wrapped tightly around her legs and she was crying. I seated myself next to her and she snuggled up to me.

"Mmm...So this is what you do when you are on your own?" I asked softly. She rested her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her. "It is alright, you don't have to say anything."

"Andy, I can't do this. I cannot leave you here. It is killing me," she sobbed.

"I...I have no choice but to stay here, love. If I want to leave, I would have to request permission from the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander and considering my history with the Circle with five escape attempts behind my name, I doubt they will let me go," I explained.

"But you have done nothing wrong. How can they keep you here? You will be twenty-one in a few months. I...I-" she trailed away. She looked everywhere but at me.

"And you will be nineteen in a few months, my love," I reminded her, but that did not bring a smile to her beautiful face. If anything, she became sadder and I simply had to embrace her. "I promise to write to you every month."

"You promise, Andy?" she asked and I could see she wanted to smile.

"Why would I not and besides I must keep you informed about my plans to escape," I teased.

"Anders, if they get a hint-" she started saying when I pressed my finger against her lip.

"They won't know," I reassured her as I gently removed my finger and she smiled at me, but it did not reach her eyes. "Mmm...Would you care to dance with me?" I asked as I got to my feet pulling her with me. She stumbled slightly and I caught her in my arms. It was too much, I cupped her face and I kissed her. I was so absorbed by kissing her, that I startled when I felt her hand pressing against my heat and I groaned. "Mari, not here," I managed to say when I felt her lips against mine. She was desperate, hungry and I gently pushed her away. "Love, not here," I said softly and she turned away from me. She looked out over the lake and I warily slipped my arms around her. I half expected her to shrug away from me, but she leaned against me.

"I am sorry Anders. I...I-" she said.

"Hush my love," I said softly as I nuzzled her neck and she laughed. This only encouraged me to do it again. I also tickled her in the ribs and she tried to squirm away from me, but I was holding her too securely. "You are not going anywhere," I teased. She sighed and she relaxed against me.

"That's better, don't you think?" I asked.

"It would be better if I was actually facing you," she replied.

"That can be arranged," I said as I gently turned her around. "Now I can see you," I teased.

"Anders, I am going to miss you," she said as she slipped her arms around me.

"Not as much as I am going to miss you. You have your family and what do I have?" I asked.

"You are my family, love. We just have to make it official somehow," she reminded me.

"You still want to marry me?" I asked.

"Yes, I do. Why would you think otherwise?" she asked. "Unless you have changed your mind," she continued.

"Oh my love, of course I want to marry you. That has not changed, but you know it is impossible at this stage. We can only marry once I am free of the Circle and that might take a few years," I replied and she grinned at me.

"Not if you escape," she reminded me and I started laughing.

"Do you really think jumping into the lake and swimming for it is the answer?" I asked.

"Think about it, Andy. The Templar's uniforms are heavy. Do you honestly think they will jump in after you?" she asked.

"Mmm...I still think it is not a good idea. We do not know what is in the lake. It might be too dangerous, but I will keep it in mind."

She turned around and we both looked out over the lake once again. The sun was slowly setting and the sky was a beautiful shade of yellows and reds. I looked down into the lake and I saw a boat and a couple of people on it. She noticed it as well because she started jumping up and down excitedly.

"He is a day early, Andy," she said and I strained my eyes. I could barely see who it was in the growing darkness.

"Is it your Father?" I asked. I released her and I moved away from her. If he were here early, that would mean they would leave earlier than anticipated. My throat closed up and with effort, I managed to keep my tears from spilling over. She came towards me holding out her hands. I willingly took them and I pulled her into the circle of my arms. "I can't let you go, Marian. It is killing me as much at it is killing you. The days and night are going to be long and lonely indeed."

"We still have some time. I...I won't be leaving earlier than expected, but why is he here tonight? He is only supposed to be arriving tomorrow," she said.

"I think we should go and greet him," I suggested.

"I...I don't want to. It has been two years since I last saw him," she said.

"Love, he is your father. I am quite sure he will be pleased to see you. Now let us go and greet him," I said as I slipped my hand into hers, but she slipped her arm around my waist.

"I've got you, Mari. I have always had you," I said as I brushed my lips against her cheek. She turned slightly and I kissed her full on the mouth. I wrapped my arms around her and I pulled her right against me. "Mmm...It would be better if we had no clothes on," I teased. She moulded herself to me and I marvelled once again at how well we fit together.

Malcolm

I greeted Irving with a firm handshake and Greagoir nodded his greeting. "So where is she?" I asked. I had seen her on the balcony with someone and I half expected her to be by Irving's side ready to greet me, but she was not in sight.

"I can only imagine that she is on the balcony with Anders. Malcolm, she has been spending a lot time on her own over the last two months. I honestly don't think she wants to leave him behind," Irving explained.

"But you have already refused to release him into my care, Irving. You can hardly expect me to ask you again and besides you do not have the final say here. That lies with Greagoir, does it not?" I asked.

"I have tried even at the request of Wynne, but I am afraid Greagoir has refused," he explained.

"Irving, I have my reasons. You know we can't allow him to go, not with his history and rumour has it that he is planning another attempt, but maker knows when that will happen," Greagoir informed him.

"What? I told you he would, Greagoir and what do you intend doing if he does? I will not have you brand him as Tranquil either. He is an excellent healer and by rights he should be out there helping others, not here teaching," Irving said.

I intervened because both men were glaring at each other. "Hold on, leave the poor boy alone. He is going to struggle as it is when I take her home. Leniency should be called for in this incident, don't you think?" I asked.

"How much more lenient can we be, Malcolm? They share the same room, they teach the same classes. She is by his side night and day and we have allowed it. We have allowed their relationship to flourish and, maker help me, you should see them. They share something profound," Greagoir said.

I laughed. "I know they do. I gathered as much from her letters and from the occasional letter Anders sent us. I do believe he loves her deeply and it would be in their best interests if you allowed him to leave, but seen that you have already made the decision to leave him here, than I have nothing more to say on the matter," I said and they gave me a surprised look. I rarely raised my voice, but I knew my daughter and I knew that her mother and I were going to have our hands full.

"Please may you take me to her?" I enquired. Greagoir turned on his heel and he stormed up the passage no doubt heading back to the Templar Quarters.

"This way, Malcolm," Irving said. "Why are you here a day early? Was it a last ditch attempt to get me to change my mind?" he asked.

"Yes, and I want to see Marian. Can Greagoir not be persuaded otherwise?" I enquired.

"Malcolm, I honestly think it would be best if I did release Anders into your care, but as it is, I cannot. He is a good man and he has been so good to Marian. I am quite sure if they were anywhere else but at the Circle, they would probably marry," he replied.

I laughed. "We know about that as well, but we feel they aren't being realistic about it. The Chantry will never allow a union between two mages and they would never consent to marrying them either," I pointed out.

"Such is the law. Sometimes I wonder if they do not hold too much power... I honestly feel that most mages in here and out there are good people and this fear people have of them turning into abominations, is a bit unrealistic. The only problem is those mages who use blood magic. That is where the problem comes in, but to brand all the mages as blood mages, now that I find hard to swallow," he explained.

"Maker, Irving, I did not expect that from you, but it does ring true, but what can we do about it? Nothing, Irving. We can do absolutely nothing, not while the Chantry holds so much power over everything."

We came to a door and I heard a lot of laughter coming from behind it.

"So what can I expect?" I asked.

"Mmm...Open the door and go out, Malcolm. I will be in the Senior Dining Room. Find me there," he replied.

"Thank you. I will see you soon."

I opened the door only to find my daughter and Anders sharing a kiss. I quietly went onto the balcony and they did not appear to notice me. He was holding her very close and he was kissing her. As I watched, she slipped her arms around his neck and she appeared to mould herself to his frame. I could not believe how well they fit together. It was as if they were cut from the same stone and she complemented him in every way.

"Mmm...I love you, Marian and I would do anything for you. I would go to the Void, if I had to," he said quietly and she laughed.

"Andy, I love you with my heart and soul," she said and he kissed her on the forehead. He noticed I was standing there and he smiled at me.

"Love, someone is here to see you," he said softly as he disentangled her arms from around his neck, but she was not ready to let him go.

"Please...don't," she said and my heart broke at the sadness I heard in her voice.

"Mari, I will be right here holding your hand as I always do," he said softly.

"But Andy-" she said when he kissed her.

"Turn around," he said after he broke away from her. She turned around and she looked at me. She seemed pleased and happy but at the same time, there was a deep sadness in her blue eyes. Anders gave her a push and that was all the encouragement she needed and she flew into my arms.

"Father," she said as I swung her around.

"Marian, look at you? All grown up," I said as I stepped back to study her. She was a bit taller than I remembered, but she was still petite and she had filled out somewhat. "Come here," I said as I embraced her again. "How are you?"

She stepped away from me and Anders stepped forward holding out his hand. "It is good to see you again, Malcolm," he greeted me with a firm handshake.

"It is good to see you to. I can see you have taken great care of my daughter?" I said and he smiled at me.

"I think I have taken more than great care of your daughter - my Marian," he said.

"I can see that," I teased. She was holding his hand again and he slipped his arm around her waist. She nestled into him and I was again struck by how well they fit together, and that was when I realised Irving was making a mistake by refusing to allow him into my care. I caught her eye and she smiled at me, but it did not quite reach her eyes. Her eyes were very sad. Her whole expression was sad and my heart went out to her.

"How do you think I am, Father? In a few days, I am leaving the man I love, behind. How in the maker's name do you think I feel?" she asked and she started crying. I went to her, but she slipped her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer as he stroked her hair.

"Hush, my love," he said in an effort to soothe her, but he was just as upset as she was and I realised I should tell her that I had tried to have him released.

"Mari, I have something to tell you," I said softly, but whether she heard me, I did not know.

"Tell me, Ser," Anders said politely.

"I have tried to have you released into my care, but they have refused," I explained. This caught her attention because she turned around and she came towards me. She still had not let go of his hand.

"You...You have tried? But why have they refused?" she asked and the momentary hope I saw was welcoming, but it quickly faded away.

"Greagoir has the final say, Marian. For any mage to be released, it must be by the First Enchanter and Knight-Commander's consent," I explained. "And I believe Wynne has tried, but without success," I continued. This did nothing to ease her sadness, because she turned away from me and Anders embraced her.

"I am sorry, Marian, but I have tried. I have written to them. I have also just asked them again and the answer is no. I am sorry, but there is nothing more I can do," I said.

"Please listen to me, Mari. At least he has tried. No one has done anything like that for me and I will be always be grateful, but remember what I told you earlier?" he asked her and she nodded.

"Just remember that," he said. "And my love, my Marian, we still have a few days," he said and he looked questionably at me.

"I only intend leaving in about four days," I reassured them and he smiled gratefully at me. She appeared to calm down with this revelation.

"Marian, will I see you later? I need to have something to eat," I said.

"We are also going to supper, Father," she said as she slipped her hand into his. "Would you like to join us?" she asked.

"Yes, I would. I want to spend a bit of time with you if Anders will allow it," I teased.

He laughed. "That is if you can drag my Marian away from me," he teased.

"I don't think that will be necessary, Anders," I teased as we went back inside. I followed them up the passage and into the Dining Room. I looked around and I saw Irving sitting with Wynne.

"Are we to sit with them?" Marian asked.

"I think so," I replied and I led the way.

"Wynne, how are you?" I asked her as I kissed her cheek.

"Malcolm, I am well. How are you? Do you know that Marian is fine mage? She is quite popular amongst the younger mages," she informed me and Marian laughed.

"Anders is more popular than I am," she said.

"Maybe so, but they admire you, Marian. They respect you and they respect Anders. To be honest and I think Irving will agree with me - you and Anders are the best talent we have seen in years. You have all the best traits a mage can offer. I will be sorry to see you go, Marian," she said and both of them positively beamed.

"Thank you, Wynne. We appreciate it. I appreciate it. I have learnt so much and I hope to share this knowledge with my sister," she said. "How is Bethany?" she asked.

"She is turning out be quite as talented as you and she is stubborn. Some days she just will not listen to me. She would rather spend time with her mother," I replied.

"And Mother and Carver?" she asked.

"Your Mother is as beautiful as ever and Carver - he is quite gifted with swords. I try to split my time between the twins so I am kept quite busy but your Mother and I...We have become extremely close and we spend quite a bit of time together," I explained. "Well, when I am not busy mentoring Bethany or when your Mother is not busy around the house or doing odd jobs for the villagers," I continued.

"But Bethany - she has missed you the most. She has asked just about every day when you will be returning home," I said quietly and I looked away from her. At the mention of returning home, her eyes became sad, almost desperate.

"Love, it is alright," Anders said to her. I looked back at them and he was holding her closely again. I caught Wynne and Irving's eye and they both appeared concerned.

"I would like to go to bed, Anders," she said quietly and my heart sank. I had hardly spent time with her, but I was not surprised. She needed time for herself and she needed time with Anders.

"Marian, you can go if you would like to. I will speak to you tomorrow," I said and she stood up, smiling.

"Thank you and I will definitely see you in the morning. Goodnight everyone," she said as she pulled Anders to his feet.

"Goodnight Ser, Irving and Wynne," he said and I watched them as they walked away from us. He once again slipped his arm around her waist.

I sighed and I drank some tea. "I think I am going to have my hands full," I said as I studied their faces.

"You think this is bad? Wait until you are at home. She has spent the better part of the last two months, by herself. She wanders around the garden and sometimes the library, but he is always nearby watching her and waiting for her if she needs him. Malcolm, this is going to break her spirit," Wynne said and I leaned back in my chair, sighing.

"What do you suggest I do?" I enquired.

"I...I don't know, but she is definitely going to need your love and support," she replied.

"I know and her mother and I have discussed it, but we have agreed to give her the time she is going to need. For now, I am quite happy for them to spend as much time together as they possibly can," I said.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I think that is their intention," she said.

"I agree with Wynne, Malcolm and I once again apologise for not being able to help out, but if you find her adjustment is taking its toll on her, then please write to me and I will see what I can do," he suggested.

"Thank you Irving," I said.

Anders

As soon as we stepped into our room, I stretched myself onto Anders bed. He was busy looking for something in his wardrobe. I gazed up at the ceiling trying to calm down because I was on the verge of tears. I rubbed my eyes furiously and to my chagrin, I started sobbing. He came back to the bed and he sat next to me.

"My love, I would like you to have this," he said and I sat up. He was holding his mother's pillow.

"But Andy how can I take the only thing of your mother's?" I asked.

"Because I can and love, I insist. I would like you to have it, please?" he implored and I took it from him.

"Anders, you have no idea how much this means to me. I will always cherish it, but are you sure?" I asked.

"My love, I am sure. Please take it. I want you to have it," he replied.

"Anders," I said and I wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you, my love. I only wish I could give something to you in return."

"Mmm...You already have and that is all I want. You are what I want, my love and yes, I am going ahead with my plan, but if you please, I would like to hold you and love you as I always do," he said.

"Love, I am yours for the taking," I teased.

"Always," he teased.