Author's Note: Yes, I had to put the chapter title in all-caps, considering the theme of District 2 in this parody. Also, find the hidden CSI reference in this chaper.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or The Hunger Games.

Before I get a chance to kick Ace in the balls, Smoker pulls Ace off of me and kicks him in the balls for me.

"What the hell is going on here?!" I cry. Smoker pours some cholroform onto a rag and puts the rag to Ace's mouth.

"Shh... Shh... It'll be all over soon," Smoker says soothingly as Ace falls asleep.

"Hey! You'd better answer the Mockingjay!" I yell.

"Yeah, sure, I'll tell you tomorrow," Smoker says with a yawn. "But, it's beddy-bye time for me."

Smoker leaves the lobby.

"Sorry, Hana, we have to go. Sarutobi-kun needs to get me some clothes. It was nice meeting you, though," Aki explains before she and Heathcliffe walk away, with Robin and Usopp following after them. Holden sits down on the couch and motions for me to sit next to him. I do so, because who wouldn't want to sit next to a hot and sexy punk like Holden?

"I know what happened to Ace," Holden states.

"Tell me," I demand.

"Only if you French kiss me afterward. With tongue," Holden states.

"Alright!" I say. Holden sighs.

"The Capitol brainwashed Ace into thinking that we're in the 1950's, where women had to stay in the kitchen. But, the brainwashing didn't fully work, so now Ace thinks he's Madea from those Tyler Perry movies. Also, they took away his coffee from him," Holden explains.

"That's terrible! Plus, Ace doesn't know that the kitchen has the knives, frying pans, and other weapons I could improvise," I explain.

"What Ace doesn't know could end with him being shanked," Holden comments as he wraps his arms around me. "Now, how about that French kiss you promised?"

"Alright! Let's do it!" I said before I planted my lips onto Holden's lips. With one hand, I bring Holden closer to me as I run my fingers through my hair with my other hand. Sadly, Holden's normally soft, thick hair is all matted and really greasy and slimy, so I pull away from Holden.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Holden asks me.

"When was the last time you washed your hair?!" I cry. Holden sighs.

"It's been a few days. Between work and the propos, I forgot to shower. I was going to take one this morning, but I got sent to the Captiol to free Ace and everyone else. While we were there, I got pretty filthy and beat up," Holden explains. I pimp slap him.

"That's no excuse! You march right to your room and take a bath right now!" I yell, because Holden with filthy hair equals a really pissed off Hana. "And, be sure to wash your hair really good."

Holden sighs.

"Fine," Holden says.

It's now three a.m. in the morning, and Holden and I are staying up late and watching T.V. After I forced Holden to have a bath, he invited me back to his room, and here we are.

"Holden?" I ask. I sound kind of tired.

"Yes, Hana?" Holden asks me as he wraps his arm around me. I take a deep breath to ponder this question, but it's mainly so I can smell the scents of Holden's soap, shampoo, and conditioner lingering on him.

"What are they going to do with Ace?" I ask.

"You remember Tashigi, right? They're going to bring her here from Pentos to get Ace back to normal," Holden explains.

"Wasn't Tashigi supposed to make shoes for Stacy's Mom?" I ask, not knowing who Stacy or her mom are.

"I don't know. It's been a while since she moved away," Holden answers. I shift myself so that I'm lying on Holden's chest.

"Holden?"

"Yes, Hana?"

"Your hair smells nice... Like... Citrus fruits."

Before we begin another make-out session, somebody knocks on the door.

"Fuck..." Holden mutters under his breath. "Who is it?!"

"It's Usopp! Open up!"

Holden sighs and he opens the door for Usopp. Upon entry into the room, Usopp sweatdrops, since Holden is only wearing his boxers, and I'm only wearing my T-shirt that says "Get thee to a Tardis" and my underwear.

"The both of you, put some clothes on. Ageha wants the three of us to go to District 2," Usopp explains.

"The Billy Mays District?" I ask as I pull on my jeans. Usopp sighs.

"Yes, Hana, the Billy Mays District. Order now, and you'll recieve a free cake that isn't a lie with your purchase," Holden says in a deadpan tone of voice as he puts on a Ramones T-shirt and his skinny jeans.

Later that morning, we arrive in District 2.

"Okay, all we have to do is find a woman named Monet," Usopp explains.

"Who's Monet?" Holden asks us.

"I remember her! She's a Hunger Games Victor who won her Games by playing Franz Ferdinand at full blast!" I answer. Because of those Hunger Games, I never looked at the songs Take me Out, Darts of Pleasure, or Jacqueline ever again.

"You must be those kids from District 13."

A woman with wings and swirly glasses approaches us. This is Monet.

"I know you! You're Monet, the girl who won her Hunger Games because she wanted to play some Franz Ferdinand!" I shout.

"That's right! Now, come with me, we have a lot to do," Monet says. Two hours of hiking through the back country of District 2 later, we arrive at the base of a mountain.

"Woah! This mountain's so huge and pretty!" I comment.

"That's the Nut. We store all of our military supplies, food, water, and sex toys in there. It's the last place in District 2 that the rebels don't have. However, in keeping with our Billy Mays theme in District 2, the Nut is actually called 'Mighty Putty'," Monet explains.

"How clever. This is a tough nut to crack," Usopp comments as he puts on some sunglasses.

Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh!

Monet responds by slapping him across the face Mexican standoff-style.

"You shut your whore mouth when Billy Mays is talking!" Monet shouts. Holden, Usopp and I sweatdrop. "Sorry about that. We District 2 residents tend to do that when somebody smack-talks Mighty Putty, Billy Mays, and/or products Billy Mays has pitched. We also do that when somebody talks good about Billy Mays' arch-nemesis, Vince Offer, the Shamwow Guy."

"Well then, I take back all amusing comments I posted on Facebook after Billy Mays died," Holden comments. Monet glares at Holden.

"Yeah, you'd better take those comments back," Monet says. "So, anyway, there are people inside of Mighty Putty. We have to wait until they surrender, and then us rebels can take Mighty Putty for ourselves."

"Sounds like a plan," Usopp says.

Five hours of nothing happening later... Nothing happens.

"This is so boring! Why did we come here?!" I whine.

"Because Ageha's a crazy bitch?" Usopp guesses. I sigh as I pick up my Portal gun.

"Time to do this the hard way," I say as I aim my Portal gun to the base of Mighty Putty.

"Hana, what are you doing?" Usopp asks me.

"I'm going to go into Mighty Putty so somebody could come out," I explain.

"Hana, that's not the way to go," Holden points out. "You could just steal an ice cream truck and drive it by."

I roll my eyes.

"Will that do any -" I ask Holden before an ice cream truck drives by. "Holy motherf[Bleep]k, it's an ice cream truck!"

Since I was too excited to get some ice cream, I accidentally vaporize about 75% of Mighty Putty.

First, the Quarter Quell arena, now this. Oops.

"Uhh... Hana, I think we're done for," Usopp states fearfully as he points to an angry mob approaching us.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MIGHTY PUTTY?!"

"Are you on crack cocaine?! I acutally live in that mountain!"

"Monet, are you willing to pose for Playboy?"

"What the hell did you do to my wife?!"

"Billy Mays is not amused! You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady!"

"Hey! Those were my sex toys!"

"I want my mommy!"

"You shut your whore mouth when Billy Mays is talking!"

"Allons-y!"

The next thing I know, a bullet grazes me and I pass out.

Ending Note: This chapter is dedicated to the memory of Billy Mays. We miss you and your informercials, Billy!

Anyway, review if you want to see a Tribute who was supposed to die.