To tummer22 : Yes, I'm very aware of how lucky I am to have reached so many readers! Since this ship was fairly new at the time I started this story and considering how strong the Alex/Olivia ship still is, I never expected people to follow this story and to get that passionate about it!

Thanks for the support guys!

Chapter 37 :

Life commitment :

About a week later, finally came the day Olivia had been planning for the past month : Amanda and her were celebrating their first anniversary. Olivia had spent countless hours working on her surprise, involving the entire team, hoping that Amanda was ready to take that step with her, that it wasn't too soon to make such a commitment.

"Are you sure you've considered this carefully? It's a pretty big step." Sitting on the edge of his massive desk was Captain Cragen, who could barely believe he and Olivia were having this conversation. While he had always considered her as a daughter, and had always behaved as protectively as a father would have, they had never shared such a private conversation.

"No, I haven't because there's no need for me to waste time over thinking this. I have never felt so sure about anything in my entire life. I love Amanda with all my heart and I know that we're meant to be together, I can feel it in my gut." Speaking with her heart like that allowed Olivia to get rid of every last bit of doubt that was still upsetting her.

"Good, because what you're about to do is more than just signing a piece of paper, it's a lifetime commitment that requires many compromises and sacrifices and considering you spent most of your life only caring for yourself, it might turn out to be more challenging than you ever imagined." As delighted as Cragen was that Olivia had finally allowed someone to break her walls down, he felt compelled to push her a little, to scare her even, just to make sure she was ready to take this step.

"I know but over the past year, not only have I learned how to let someone in and to accept that asking for help didn't make me weak, but also to make decisions considering someone's else feelings and needs and to be honest with you, I wouldn't go back to the way I used to live, because strangely, committing to Amanda freed me beyond my wildest expectations and I feel that I have finally found myself and I owe it all to her." Liberated and in sync with who she was, that was the person Olivia was today and while the path towards becoming that person had been painful and exhausting, being here today, a few minutes away from committing to Amanda made it all worth it.

"Good, then go, I can see how impatient she is." Looking through the window, Cragen could see Amanda walking around around her desk, impatient to celebrate this very special anniversary.

"Yes, Sir. Thank you for everything." Standing there, in the doorway, Olivia took a second to take a deep breath and gather her thoughts.

"You're welcome Liv."

Walking towards Amanda, Olivia could fell Fin, Munch and Amaro's eyes on her. All were well aware of what she was about to do and she could see the pride and happiness in their eyes.

"Are we ready to go? I'm starving." Amanda said as she grabbed her coat on the back of her chair and walked towards Olivia. Although she suspected that Olivia had planned a romantic evening for them, she was far from imagining what was about to happen.

"Yes, but there's something I need to do first, don't worry, it shouldn't take long." Reaching out for Amanda's hand, Olivia took one last look at her team before walking towards the elevator.

"Okay."

About half an hour later, Olivia and Amanda arrived in front of a two stories brown stone. On the ground floor was a large living room with a magnificent fire place, a very modern kitchen with marble counter tops, a brand new fridge and oven, and an extra room that could be used as either an extra bedroom or an office. On the first floor was the master bedroom with its own ensuite bathroom, and walk in wardrobe, plus two other smaller bedrooms and a second bathroom with both an italian shower and a massive bath tub. The entire house had hardwood floors and appart from the wallpapers that were not of Olivia's taste, the house was ready to move in.

After giving Amanda a quick tour of the house, Olivia took her to her favorite spot : the backyard. Having being raised in Manhattan, Olivia was well aware that having a backyard was so rare that it was considered a luxury.

"What do you think?" It was the beginning of September and although it was relatively warm, Olivia was almost shaking and as they stepped outside, felt compelled to snake her arms around Olivia.

"I think it's a beautiful house and it has character. I love the fireplace and this backyard is perfect, big enough for a barbecue and for kids to play." As smart and educated as Amanda was, she was sometimes clueless and at this precise moment she still had no idea why Olivia had taken her to visit this house.

"I agree I love the backyard but my favorite place is the bathroom, can't you picture us taking bubble baths in that tub?" Narrowing her eyebrows, Olivia was almost amused by Amanda's naivety and was willing to give her a few more hints, hoping she'd understand what was going on very soon.

"Yes, I can, with all the jets, damn that must be an orgasmic experience, wait Liv, why are we here?" Rising her head, Amanda suddenly realized that Olivia had not brought her to that house for nothing but couldn't risk making assumptions.

"Oh, I haven't told you, this is our new home." Liv had spent an entire month, meeting with the current owners, the real estate agent and her bank to secure the purchase of that house, she had spent countless hours on the phone and endless nights obsessing about it and yet the words slipped out of her mouth as naturally as they could possible have.

"Liv…" Hearing those few words, Amanda finally started to understand Liv's distant and erratic behaviour and unable to hide her emotions, she allowed herself to burst into tears.

"I know we've only been together for a year but when I look back at the past year and at everything we've been through and all the progress I have made, there is no doubt in my mind that you changed my life, in the best way possible. I love you Amanda, with all my heart and all my soul and I know for a fact that you're the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and I think it's time for us to take that next step and move into a house where we can picture ourselves raising our children." Olivia's voice was strong and confident but her legs were shaking and deep down, there was still a part of her that was afraid to be rejected and to see this fairy tale end right here.

"I feel the same way Olivia, although it's only been a year, I feel we've already spent a lifetime together and there's no doubt in my mind that I want us to start a family and this house would be the perfect place for that but can we even offer this house?" When Amanda started to developed feelings for Olivia a few months after moving to New York, she was far from imagining that the brunette would ever reciprocate those feelings and yet a year later, here they were, talking about buying a house and started a family. The past year had been everything but a vacation, they had both shed their share of tears, and hurt each other but in the end, all those difficult times had brought them to this precise moment, in this precise house, making it all worth it.

"Yes we can, I know it's a bit unorthodox but the current owners recently filed for bankruptcy and the bank had to repossess the house." Has horrible as it was for Olivia to take advantage of someone's misfortune, she knew that they could never afford such a place on their salaries and she was willing to overlook the owners' terrible situation if it meant buying this house for her family.

"You bought it at an auction?" Rising her eyebrows, Amanda was surprised to hear that Olivia was willing to take advantage of some poor couple's misfortune but strangely knew she wouldn't feel guilty about it.

"Yes, I did and for some reason, there was only one other person interested and he gave up pretty quickly. I actually got it for less than I thought." Before joining the auction, Olivia had taken the time to meet with her banking advisor to see how much she could borrow and went to the auction with an exact amount in mind but thankfully managed to get the house for a lesser price.

"That's great Liv..." Shaking her head, Amanda escaped Olivia's embrace and took a few steps back.

"What's wrong? If this is going too fast you can tell me."

"It's not that. I'm ready for all that, it's just...You know I have gambling debts right?" Over the past year, Amanda had focused on helping Olivia heal her wounds and finally make peace with her past and had almost forgotten about her own past and failures and she had a feelings that her mistakes might compromise their future together.

"Yes, I do." Olivia was no stranger to Amanda's addiction and knew that she attended meetings on weekly basis but had always respected the blonde's desire to not talk about it but looking at the look on Amanda's face, realized that she might have made a mistake.

"Well, after my bookie got arrested, I finally decided to take responsibility for my actions. So I joined Gamblers Anonymous and I went to my bank and we worked on a payment plan and to this day, I'm still repaying them every month. So trust me, there's no way my bank or any bank for that matter is gonna allow me to take a mortgage, not with my credit history." Luckily, Amanda had obtained a full scholarship to study and had no student loans but her addiction had completely destroyed her credit scores and possibly her entire future.

"Don't worry about the money. I had quite enough personal savings for a substantial down payment and a perfect credit score, so I managed to get the mortgage at an interesting rate." Once again, Olivia was strangely calm and confident. She knew about Amanda's debts and had taken them into consideration when applying for the mortgage.

"I can't let you buy us a house Liv, that's no way to start a future together." Obviously, Amanda wasn't completely insensitive to Olivia's generosity or even surprised but, up until now they had shared every single bill and domestic chores and she knew that this was no way of starting a healthy future together.

"Look. For now you're having financial difficulties but you're not gambling anymore so once your debts are paid in full, you'll just start paying the mortgage with me but until then, don't worry about a thing. I want to do this for us, for our future family." Olivia said, as she took a couple of steps towards Amanda and pulled her into her warm embrace.

"Okay, but I only have another ten monthly payments, so I should be able to start pitching in next july but until then, I will pay all utility bills." Amanda's pride was hit but she remembered that not that long ago, Olivia put her pride aside and accepted her help and if this past year had taught her anything it was that being in a relationship was not about pride and self sufficiency but about mutual commitment and support and that she couldn't refuse Olivia's help.

"That seems unfair...How about you add a few sexual favours to the deal?" Smiling, Olivia pressed her lips against Amanda, knowing exactly how she was going to react.

"Oh, I see, all this was for the sole purpose of turning me into your personal sex slave..." Amanda replied as she grabbed Olivia's ass with both hands.

"Yeah, and I'm not even sorry. Now, come on let's go. I'm starving."

"Yes, so Am I. So how did you get the down payment anyway?" Walking back towards the house, Amanda couldn't help but feeling unsettled. This was their home now, their very own house where they were going to spend the rest of their life together, watching their children grow up.

"Let's just say that living in a rent controlled apartment for 15 years, with no kids to feed, never taking any vacations and not sharing Alex and Melinda's taste for expensive designer clothes or furniture, not to mention accumulating countless overtime, helped put quite a bit of cash aside." Olivia was living a very modest life, thus allowing her to save a great amount of money, money she had never imagined spending on a house for her and the love of her life.

"I wish I was as good with my money as you are." Amanda on the other hand had never been good saving her money. Back when she was still living in Atlanta, her gambling was still manageable but she spent almost all her pay checks in fancy bars, clubs or restaurants.

"There's always room for improvement Amanda. You turned your life around and I'm sure you're gonna be perfectly fine as soon as your debts are paid fully but like I said, until then, I can provide for us, so just relax and enjoy this moment." Strangely, Olivia wasn't scared that Amanda might start gambling again, just like the blonde trusted her to not assault her ever again.

"Good, oh Liv, we're gonna be so happy here." Sighing as they reached the car, Amanda took a minute to marvel at their beautiful house, thinking that her life couldn't be more perfect.

"I know, happy anniversary babe." And just like that, Olivia and Amanda took one of the most important steps of their lives and as nervous as they were, they were even more confident. There was no doubts in their mind that they were both ready and committed to make this work, regardless of the compromises or sacrifices it would require. They were meant to be together and there was no crisis, no obstacle big enough to discourage them, not as long as they continued to love each other unconditionally.

Hi guys,

So, am I the biggest troll ever or what?

I know I mislead you in the previous chapter and the beginning of this one, especially with the whole " It's not just a piece of paper, but a lifetime commitment".

Please don't hate me... I wanted to surprise you and to do that I needed to avoid things the " traditional" way and having Liv propose was way to predictable.

I hope you still enjoyed this chapter, I know they talked a lot about money but considering Amanda's gambling addiction and her massive debts, it seemed realistic that she would worry about it.

Also I realized that I started this new arc without asking you if you wanted me continue, so should I continue this story? I still have a good 15-20 chapters in me. You're the readers, you tell me.