Short mini chapter because... well, I felt like Karliah and Gallus deserved some happiness together before everything starts going wrong, but I *sigh* just couldn't find the inspiration for a longer chapter. There didn't seem to be much they could do together that I hadn't done in the story before. So I was aiming for short and sweet. I'm not entirely sure about how good this one is, to be honest. If you guys have any problems with it, I'll edit it a bit. :)

Massive thank you to ShoutFinder and MasterAssassinScrolls, who both really helped me when I was starting out on this chapter.

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

That night changed my life forever.

That night brought me so much. It brought me joy and happiness and delight. And yet, in time, it also brought be suffering and pain and death.

I have looked at it in every possible way, but I cannot see any way to deny it. It was not our fault; we had no idea what we were starting. Neither Karliah nor I could possibly have even begun to guess at what our falling in love would lead to.

For our Guild, the Guild that I loved so fiercely and had worked so hard to protect, it almost led to ruin. And even though it did not quite come to that - thanks to the efforts of a brave and loyal member of our trinity, perhaps the greatest of any Nightingale who ever walked Nirn - it led to the Guild becoming less than a shadow of its former self. The soul was torn from it. It stopped being a family.

For Karliah... by the Divines, it pains me to think of what it led to for her. All those years, forced to leave behind everything she cared about, hunted down like prey by those who had once called her a sister. And worse, it was through no fault of her own, and yet she blamed herself for what had happened to her. And for what had happened to the Guild. And for what had happened to me.

And what did happen to me? Well, again, it is something that it is painful to think of, and agonising to speak of. Why? Not because of what happened, exactly, but... because of who made it happen. Not because of what was done to me, but because of the person who did it to me.

I think that much of the pain I feel when I remember what happened is not for me, nor for the Guild, nor even for Karliah, much as I love her and wish that she could have been spared the torment she was forced to endure. No, it is for one who I once called a friend and loved as a brother, but who turned from the way of what was right and true and onto a path of anger, bloodshed and ambition. A path that led to death. My death.

And all because of that night down by the lake, beneath the stars.

Do I regret it? Not a bit. I regret what became of it. But I will never, ever regret loving Karliah. For me, the joy that we shared in the short time we were together makes up for the grief and loneliness that followed. I am not if everyone else involved in the matter would agree with me, but that is the simple truth, and nothing will ever make me change my mind.

Perhaps I would have lived to a grand old age, seen the Guild prosper beyond my wildest dreams, and never had to feel the pain of being betrayed by a friend, or endure a quarter century of imprisonment. But I would also have never known the joy that comes with loving another, and being loved in return. Nothing can ever compare to that, and I would not exchange it for anything.

Yes, I know that it is a selfish thing to say. After all, living or dead, I am still a Guildmaster. And a Guildmaster's duty is to put the Guild above themself always, no matter what the personal cost might be. And when I think of the chaos and disaster that the Guild had to face in the years that followed what happened...

Wait. Would it actually have been better for the Guild if it had never happened? Now that I think about it, I am not so sure that it would. No, I'm not sure at all. For many years, I admit, they had to go through harsh and difficult times. But look at them now! Since everything was put right, they have risen to new heights. Their new Guildmaster has brought back their golden age - and in my opinion, they are flourishing now more than they ever did under my leadership. And now that they have experienced such hardship, they are more determined than ever to make sure it does not happen again. They have learned many lessons from what happened - as have we all, I believe.

So yes. I believe that it was right for the two of us to share what we did.

Dralsi once told me something very wise. Actually, as you already know well by now, she told me a great many very wise things, and she said them very often. But, as I was saying, she once told me something that I have never forgotten, and that anyone going through hardship would do well to remember.

She told it to me as we were travelling back from a mission, back when I was still a boy. It was raining, raining so hard that the earth had turned to mud and it was impossibly to see the sky.

'I hate the rain,' I remember saying.

Dralsi smiled. 'Understandable. But doesn't the rain help in many ways?'

I looked at her in confusion. 'Without rain,' Dralsi explained, 'no plants could grow, and no animals would be able to drink. Nothing would survive.'

I knew that was true, but I didn't want to admit that the rain could be good in any way, so I said nothing.

'What's more,' the Dark Elf continued, 'without the rain, would you appreciate the sun?'

I frowned. 'What do you mean?'

'If you had never experienced anything ugly,' Dralsi told me, 'when you saw something beautiful, you wouldn't think it was beautiful at all. You'd think it was normal. If it never rained, then when it was a warm, sunny day, you wouldn't think anything of it. It would just be another day.'

Her eyes had grown sad. 'It works with people, too. If you never met anyone with hatred and anger in their hearts, the people whose hearts were filled with friendship and happiness might mean less. And if you were never unhappy, joy would never be quite as wonderful.'

Sorrow and joy. Like day and night, earth and sky, sunlight and rain, you cannot have one without the other. And just like rain making the flowers grow, sometimes, a little suffering can lead to wonders beyond the imagination.

It was not raining now, though. And even after Dralsi's advice, I would have been furious had it started to rain. No, it was not raining; it was snowing. Nothing extraordinary in Skyrim, for certain, but it was a certain kind of snow - the light, fluffy sort that does not hinder your vision and is not even all that cold. It made the entire land of Skyrim look like a scene from a painting. And it would have been a wonderful painting, too, one painted by a master artist.

'Are you going to hang back admiring the scenery forever, or are you planning on catching up at any point?'

I grinned and dug my heels into Ebony's sides, urging her forwards. 'There's nothing to be gained from being hasty, you know.'

Karliah raised her eyebrows. 'Not even arriving on time?'

'It's not as if we have a deadline to meet,' I reminded her. 'We've got all the time in the world to do this job.'

She pulled at Dusk's reins, drawing him back to trot alongside me. 'Then why in the name of Azura are we heading to Winterhold on Old Life Festival? Why aren't we at home in the Cistern, where it's warm?'

I chuckled. 'Because there's something in Winterhold I want to show you. I already told you that several times. Just trust me.'

'Now why would I want to do something that stupid?'

Our laughter echoed through the previously silent pine forest, and I saw a flock of birds rise up from the branches of a vast tree, chattering and shrieking in alarm.

'All right. I'll take your word for it.' Karliah gave me an amused glance. 'Although if you keep on at this rate, we might not get to Winterhold in time to see whatever this thing you want to show me is.'

My eyes widened, and I faked an outraged gasp. 'Are you suggesting that I'm a slow rider?'

'I wouldn't dream of it,' she replied smoothly, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

'Oh, leave me be,' I told her, patting Ebony's neck. 'My horse has just got shorter legs than yours, that's all.'

'A bad rider blames the horse,' she retaliated.

I gathered up my reins. 'Right. For that, I'll show you. First one to Winterhold wins.'

'You're on. And since your horse has shorter legs - ' The way she said the words made it clear that she was making fun of them - 'I think I'll give you a head start. You can begin at that fallen tree, there, and I'll start when you reach that boulder.'

I knew that Karliah was a far better rider than I could ever hope to be, and also that I should grab any small chance of winning that was offered to me. But my pride refused to let me. 'I don't need a head start. I can begin exactly when you can, and I'll still be in Winterhold before you.'

'We'll see about that,' Karliah muttered. More loudly, she said, 'On the count of three, then. Three - '

'Two, one, go,' I said, as quickly as I could possibly manage, and Ebony shot away in a smooth, flowing canter.

An indignant yell came from behind me. 'That is cheating! You said you didn't want a head start.'

I smiled to myself, and urged Ebony on even faster, until she was in a flat-out gallop. 'Go on, girl. Show her how fast you really are.'

I have always known that the horses of Skyrim are intelligent, but I have no idea whether or not Ebony could actually understand what I was saying to her. Even if she didn't, though, she must have picked up on the eagerness in my voice, for she tossed her head and gave an excited whinny. Snow was thrown up in thick wide clouds as our horses thundered along the road, two dark specks in a sea of sparkling white.

We were heading to Winterhold, and it was, as I had said to Karliah, only partly on Guild business. A client had asked us to steal something from the Jarl, who had annoyed him in some way, and I intended to do so. However, there was a reason I had chosen to go today. It was Old Life Festival, the final day of the year - a day that I would usually have spent snug in the Cistern, drinking and laughing with the rest of my Guild family. But a few days ago, a letter had arrived from Enthir, telling me about what his College had planned for the town of Winterhold this night. And the moment I had read it, I had known that I had to be there, and I had to take Karliah.

In the distance, through the swirling snow and gently swaying trees, I caught a glimpse of the golden lights of the town shining up ahead, and, behind them, the looming shape of the College. I grinned, realising that I was still in the lead.

We grew closer and closer to the town. By now, Ebony was running so fast I wasn't entirely sure that I was going to be able to make her stop. Trying to banish the mental images of her racing off the edge of the cliff that surrounded much of the town and both of us falling to our doom on the rocks below, I prepared to pull her to a halt as I neared the first few houses.

Then, without warning, Dusk shot forward, swerved easily past me and reached the entrance to the town two horse-lengths ahead of me. 'Not even a challenge,' Karliah announced, as she pulled him to a halt. 'Regretting not having a head start now?'

I would have replied, except Ebony seemed to have become a little carried away, and when I tugged on the reins to slow her, her response was to speed up. I yanked at the reins with all my strength, and it was not until my horse had reached the centre of the town - scattering the citizens and a flock of squawking chickens on the way - that she finally skidded to a halt.

I dismounted, not even attempting to stop myself from grinning, despite the glares that the townsfolk shot at me. 'All right, you win,' I called.

'I do indeed,' Karliah said, her eyes glittering with amusement. 'Not only can you not go faster than me, you can't even stop properly.'

She leaped down from Dusk's back. 'Right, where shall we put them?'

'I think we can just tether them to a tree,' I replied. 'I mean, it's not as if they're going to let anyone run off with them.'

The Dark Elf grinned, and I knew that she was very much aware of the fact that anyone who tried to steal Dusk or Ebony would have bitten off much more than they could chew. Our horses would never have allowed a stranger to take them away. It was part of the reason I loved my Ebony so much - I knew that she would be undyingly loyal to me.

'How long have we got until this thing that you want me to see?'

'Oh, it's not until after nightfall,' I replied. 'We've got plenty of time. Do you want to get on with the job, or shall we stop by in the Frozen Hearth and warm up?'

'Warm up, I think,' she answered swiftly. 'I can hardly feel my fingers.'

As we struggled through the knee-deep snow towards the inn, I couldn't stop myself from glancing up at the sky, although I already knew it was noon. My smile widened. I could hardly wait for evening to come.

Ever since the Great Collapse, as it is known, when almost all of the city of Winterhold crumbled and fell away into the icy Sea of Ghosts, the College of Winterhold has been shunned and feared - not only by the people of the town, but by the citizens of all of Skyrim. The mages themselves maintain that the Collapse was caused by the eruption of Red Mountain, and it could well be true. But many of the Nords believe that since the College was left entirely unharmed, the one and only explanation there can be is that the mages somehow caused the Collapse themselves. I myself have no real opinion on the matter. I cannot believe that the mages would want to destroy half of Winterhold, but it could well have been a magical accident. And yet the eruption of Red Mountain was indeed powerful, and could explain what happened. If the College was spared, then perhaps it has some sort of enchantments around it that protect it from such damage. Who can say?

But anyway, I am getting carried away. Whatever the reason behind the Great Collapse, the consequences for the College have been catastrophic. Not, of course, that they weren't terrible for the rest of the town, but the College was hit particularly hard. Of course, they suffered no acutal damage to the building itself, but they went from being a source of pride for the town of Winterhold - for all of Skyrim, even - to being a shunned and hated place, avoided by almost everyone. Even had not one of my closest friends been a College mage, I would have thought it a tragedy. A place of knowledge, learning and wisdom, the home of masters of a wonderful and intriguing art, feared and avoided. It was a painful thought.

And yet, there was one night, just one glorious night every year, when the people of Winterhold and the mages of the College put aside all their differences, their fear, their mistrust of each other. At night, on Old Life Festival, as the year died, the gates of the College of Winterhold were opened to all. And the people of the town gathered in the courtyard, and though a few angry remarks might be thrown back and forth between mages and townsfolk, for the most part, there was harmony.

It was not just out of respect for the spirit of Old Life Festival that such ancient grudges were forgotten that night. There was a reason, and it was the same reason that I had chosen today to come to Winterhold.

Karliah and I joined the crowd of people flowing onto the bridge that led to the College. It was a narrow walkway, and in places the walls on either side had collapsed, which meant that progress was slow. Nobody fancied slipping on the icy stone and over the edge. To fall from such a height would mean a certain and probably rather painful death. And that would ruin the spirit of Old Life Festival no end.

'Busy here tonight,' Karliah remarked. 'I always thought that most people stayed away from the College.'

'Not tonight they don't,' I told her, as we finally managed to pass through the gates - which, for once, were wide open - and into the courtyard. It was already teeming with people, and I knew that more would come. In fact, it would be a miracle if everyone who had come here tonight managed to fit inside.

'Gallus.'

'Mm?'

'What exactly are we waiting for?'

I placed my arm across her shoulders, smiling. 'Watch the sky, and you'll see.'

We both stared up into the inky blackness. Several minutes flew by. The stars shone like minature suns, and I was reminded of that wonderful, starlit night down on the lake - the happiest night of my life. Though this one was turning out to be almost as good.

Above us, I saw a group of shadowy figures appear on the ramparts of the College walls, and a couple on the top of the highest tower. I squinted up at them, trying to work out which one was Enthir. It was impossibly to tell through the darkness; they were too far away.

'It's a good thing it's stopped snowing,' I murmured, as a hush fell across the crowd; they too had seen the mages gathering up above. 'We wouldn't get as good a view.'

'As good a view of what?' Karliah hissed back.

I was about to reply, 'You'll see,' again, but I never needed to. At that moment, I saw the mage on the top of the tower - almost certainly the Archmage - lift his hands into the air. For a moment, the world froze. I saw a speck of red light dancing around his palms. And then a bolt of crimson magic shot upwards into the ebony sky, shooting up high above the College, and expoding in a magnificent shower of scarlet embers.

The crowd cheered, and Karliah let out a gasp. In unison, the rest of the mages sent spells of their own darting up into the night, spells which shattered across the sky in every imaginable colour - green, white, blue, yellow, purple and shining gold.

I glanced at my companion, to see her eyes stretched wide open. 'And this is only the beginning,' I murmured.

One of the mages lifted up her arms, and I saw a ribbon of green light emerge. It wound upwards, twisting around itself and spreading outwards. I squinted at it for a few moments, then realised what it was - a tree. A tree made of green fire.

The other mages cast their own spells, and within moments it looked as if a grove of glowing trees had taken root in the sky. Their branches expanded twined around each other, until a sparkling canopy of light floated above the courtyard, a roof of intertwined strands of magic. Then, as one, the trees seemed to explode, turning into a ring of fire that blazed for a moment before drifting upwards into the sky. The crowd drew in a collective breath.

I stole another glance at Karliah, to see her gazing upwards with eyes shining like twin stars. Wordlessly, I reached down and took her hand. She held onto mine tightly.

More spells lit up the sky. They twisted and shone, forming themselves into ten seperate balls of light. The orbs glowed brightly, then started to thin, stretch and take shape. Some grew taller, others a little shorter. And suddenly I realised what they were becoming. They were turning into people. The shimmering spheres flattened out, forming arms and legs made of pale fire. One grew tall and slender, holding itself with poise and elegance - an Altmer. Another became shorter, with a slim tail and pointed ears - a Khajiit. It was hard to tell them all apart, with only the two Beastfolk being easily seperable from the others, but I knew that there was one for every race of Tamriel.

The ten of them walked forwards, forming a circle, then reached out and clasped hands. I gazed on with delight; any public show of unity between the races of Nirn made me feel somehow warm inside, as if I had just downed an entire mug of a hot drink. The shimmering figures floated still in the sky for a moment. Then those mages that were not directing them suddenly lifted up instruments - flutes, lutes and drums. Music pealed out across the courtyard, and the ten conjured spirits began to dance.

The crowd let out a thunderous cheer that echoed from the college walls. I watched the spell -people dance, silhouetted against the stars, and felt almost like dancing myself. I could have watched them spin and leap and twirl for all eternity.

For some minutes, the mages of Winterhold directed the sparkling figures across the sky, and I stared with awe, wondering how many hours they had spent rehearsing this. Then the music stopped, and as one, they lowered their hands, and the ten shimmering spell-people shot upwards and exploded in ten dazzling showers of light.

The cheering from below grew still louder, but the show was not yet over. On the walltops, the glimmers of light told of new spells being readied. A flash of white lit the sky, and what looked like a spectral rabbit appeared in the air. Then, next to it, another mage conjured a fox. The rabbit began to run, leaving a glistening trail behind it, and the fox pursued.

And then after the fox came a deer, leaping along in graceful bounds. And after the deer, a wolf, swift and sleek. And then a sabre cat took form in the air and joined the chase. And then a bear. And then a man, rushing after the bear with a raised spear.

I raised my eyebrows, eager to see what would come next. I wasn't disappointed.

A dragon. That was what came next. A dragon made of golden light, sweeping after the other creatures on sparking wings. The throng of people below gasped in unison.

The vast creature flew in the circle for a few seconds, then its caster sent it rushing forwards. It collided with the other spell-creatures, one by one, causing them to shatter into embers that floated downwards and faded in the cold night air. The dragon soared up higher, then dived down and swooped low over the crowd, making us all duck. Then it shot upwards again, spreading its golden wings against the moons. Finally, it, too, exploded, sending streaks of dazzling golden light shooting across the sky.

Another mighty cheer rose up, as all around us people struck the air with their fists. High above, another mage - I am almost certain it was Enthir - sent another shower of coloured light raining down on us. Karliah turned to me, and the smile on her face was enough to make my heart skip a beat.

'When you said we were coming to Winterhold on the night of Old Life Festival, I thought you'd lost your mind,' she murmured. 'But now I understand.'

I smiled back. 'Well, having a contact at the College of Winterhold has obvious advantages. I can't believe I never knew before that this happened every year. I suppose the townsfolk hush it up because they don't want it to get out that they don't hate the College as much as everyone thinks they do - even if it only lasts for one evening.'

She blinked back what looked like tears of joy. 'Thank you so much for bringing me here.'

As more showers of coloured magic lit up the sky above us, she leaned in towards me and kissed me. And I held her close, wondering if this was the closest that mortal life could ever come to perfection, and wondering if any night in all my life had ever been more wonderful.

I sauntered into the Cistern, quietly humming Ragnar the Red as I hurried over to my desk. My fellow thieves called out cheery greetings to me as I went, welcoming me home. Several of them slurred their words slightly, and I had a feeling that Delvin was probably lying slumped in a corner somewhere.

Karliah and I had arrived back in Riften not long ago. Mar'haz had called out to us as we passed, wanting to know how our missions had gone, and why it had taken so long for us to return. I would have liked to stay and talk, but I had to record the success of this most recent mission in the Guild's business ledger before I forgot. And what with the way that I had been spending a rather large proportion of my time with my head in the clouds recently, it was a real possibility that I would forget.

I pulled open the hefty book and flicked through the pages. The ledger was so vast that it had not been replaced in all the time I had been in the Guild. On the earlier pages, I could see Sereniel's small, curly handwriting, and a little further on, the pages were filled with slightly scruffier letters clearly made by Blade's hand. I smiled to myself. I loved looking at this book. It gave me a link to my lost friends, and it reminded me of how enduring and strong the Guild was. Under the desk were more ledgers, each as large as this, some so worn that pages fell out if you tried to open them. Records of Guild business stretching back to long before the dawn of the Fourth Era. Proof of my family's success.

I finally found the last page with writing on it, dipped my quill into my inkwell, and pressed it to the paper. Mission location, Winterhold, I wrote. Profit, 1000 Septims.

'So, you're back, are you?'

I glanced up. Mercer was standing nearby, staring at me. There was a look in those grey-green eyes I couldn't read.

'Very perceptive,' I said with a smile, before looking back down at the ledger.

'You were gone some time.'

'Well, there was a bit of a storm blowing up by the time we finished the job,' I told him. It was half true - the weather had indeed taken a turn for the worse, though not until after the magic display ended. 'We decided it would be better to stay the night in Winterhold rather than risk travelling home in a blizzard.'

I finished recording the details of the job and set the quill on one side. I looked up again to see Mercer still staring at me.

'What I don't understand is why you picked yesterday to go in the first place,' he told me. 'Why Old Life Festival of all nights? Isn't that the one night you want to be at home?'

I sighed. I had suspected that someone would bring this up sooner or later. But I did not regret a single moment of last night. I had wanted so badly to see it, and I had wanted just as much to show it to Karliah. I knew that we had done nothing to be ashamed of. But for now, we both agreed that we wanted to keep our relationship simply between ourselves. The Guild would find out eventually, we both knew that. But still...

'I had my reasons, Mercer,' I said, more wearily than I had intended. 'I'd have liked to be here, but I had to go.' I frowned. 'You didn't have any trouble here, did you?'

'Trouble? No. Nothing of the kind. What makes you think that there was any trouble?'

I tilted my head on one side. 'You seem angry with me.'

'Angry?' He sounded surprised, but there was anger in his voice, even if it was deeply hidden. 'I'm not angry, I just think a Guildmaster should be with his Guild on one of the most important festivals of the year.' He turned to leave, then suddenly hesitated.

'Gallus.'

'Yes?' I asked warily.

'Why'd you take her with you?'

The question was so unexpected that for a moment I struggled to come up with a reply. 'Sorry?'

His eyes were suddenly cold, and for the first time, I found myself feeling a little afraid of my long-time Guild brother and best friend. 'I said, why did you take Karliah with you?'

I stared at him, shook my head slightly, and said, 'I thought it would be useful to have some help, and she said she wouldn't mind missing the party back here. I knew better than to ask ayone else. They wouldn't want to miss out on an excuse to get drunk.'

He looked at me for a moment longer, as if he were trying to work something out. Then he nodded quickly. Too quickly.

'Fair enough,' he said, turning away. 'I'm going to get some more mead.'

I watched him go. Quite suddenly, I felt none of the happiness that had been in my heart seconds before. I had a feeling that I had just witnessed something important, that there was something about what I had just heard that should mean something to me. But I could not for the life of me work out what it was.

I could not have known that it was all about to begin. That I had just lived the last few moments of my life when I would be truly happy. That within months, I would never again set out on another job for the Guild, or be greeted by my friends as I entered the Cistern, or record another successful mission on the vast business ledger. Because within months, I would no longer exist. At least, not in the world of the living.

This is where the story of how I died begins.

Sadly, it's true. We're nearing the end of the story. I think there's about five more chapters to go, maybe a little more or less. It's been a long, long time since I started writing this, and I'm a little mind-blown by the prospect of finishing. I just hope not to disappoint with the last few chapters! :D