35. Deceived

"Get out!" she screamed at me again. She reached for anything in her room that she could get her hands on to throw at me. She threw her books, softballs, her iPod, and even the alarm clock on her dresser. She aimed hangers at me like daggers until her hands came up empty.

I took a step towards her, trying to find the right words to tell her. I was beyond confused to her sudden anger and fury, but who understood a girl's mood swings anyway? When I got closer, Amber launched herself me with a yell and punched my stomach. For a human she had quite a punch, knocking my breath away when she hit just the right spot.

"Get out! Go away! Leave!" she kept chanting those words as at me over and over again, maybe hoping I would catch on. She ought to know I was too stubborn to listen to her.

"Amber!" I tried to grab her hands, but she kept pushing me away, slapping away my grasp. She stepped away each time, but coming back with more hits. She kept getting angrier by the second. A normal person would have gotten exhausted from such a burst of anger, but Amber kept getting stronger by the second. She finally managed to push me out into the hallway and slammed the door in my face and locked it. I could have broken it down, but I doubted that it have helped her mood.

I banged on the door. "Amber, open up!" I banged again, trying to make her open with my mind. I reached into her mind, trying to understand her sudden fury, but once she felt me there she threw me back out. I landed on my back in the hallway from the force of the power. Inside Amber cried harder.

"Please." I begged, making my voice softer. "Amber, please." I went up to her door and sat with my back pressed against ear, opening my senses to know what was going on inside. I closed my eyes.

I could hear her shuffling around the room and then I pictured it in my head. I saw her walking from her closet to her bed, throwing more clothes in the bag. She ruffled up her bed, grabbed a few things off her bookshelf, nightstand, and desk. She threw them all in a separate bag that a hard bottom. She zipped what I guessed to be a suitcase, and then set it on the floor. I heard beginning to fill up another back with more things she might need, then filling a purse with coins and some paper money. She blew her nose with a tissue and started to brush her hair, trying to soothe herself I guess. I just wish I knew what she was crying about.

Had I done something to upset her? I hadn't cheated on her in weeks, staying faithful in any way I could. I did everything I could to give her the best sex I could, trying to give her everything she deserved. I knew thousands of ways to have sex, trust me. Slutty, skanky, horny, one night stands, drunk, Korean (don't ask), as well as Chinese (really, don't ask). Never once in my life have I had any sort or romantic sex. I was just as clueless as Amber that first night. I wanted to impress her without scaring her off or ruining the moment with making her think of all those other girls. Amber was the only girl for me now.

What if it was the sex? Maybe she wasn't ready, but was afraid to say something? Had I hurt her? I thought back to all those nights, never hearing he crying out in pain, not even whimpering. She was never awkward in the mornings after, in fact there wasn't any sign of discomfort at all. It was what she wanted, I knew that. So what was wrong with her?

"Amber, let me in." I asked again, my voice shaky. I heard her jump from inside. Apparently she thought I had left, not sitting outside her room.

"Go away, Jon." She didn't yell it at me this time, but it felt weird, hearing her call me by the nickname I barely got called by anymore. I heard her press her hands against the door, as if expecting me to barge my way through. "Please just go." It was barely a whisper.

"At least tell me what I did wrong." I felt it coming. So did my heart. I felt that gentle line I didn't even know was there threatening to break, to tear me apart. I was sure it was going to kill me this time. My life was going end if she told me it was over. I couldn't face it. I loved her so much and for her to reject me…I couldn't even think about it.

A sob let escaped her mouth in a gust. "Don't."

"Don't what, Amber? I don't know what I'm doing!"

She sighed. "Jon, it's not you-"

"Don't you dare say that." I snapped. How many times have I used that phrase? It was used to get out saying the real point to anything. She was hiding something. But what!

"Then what do you want me to say?" she snapped back, sniffing.

"Tell me what I can do." I begged, pressing my cheek to the door. "I'll do anything, just tell me."

Amber cried harder so it was a moan. She banged her head against the door. I heard her rake her fingers through her hair savagely. I could hear her body shaking so violently it was making the door vibrate. She must have buried her head in her lap because I could hear her muffled sobs, her voice cracking as she got louder. I must have hurt her somehow. And not just hurt. This was worse. God, what had I done?

"Please go. I don't want to see you anymore." Her voice was so soft, but harsh. It was ice cold.

"Don't say that."

"I'm done, Jonathan! I can't take it anymore! I want you to go. You're only making this harder for yourself." She seemed to have taken control of her emotions because her voice was stronger; she was no longer shaking or sniffing every few seconds.

She was right. Every second I sat there it was getting harder for me to move, to leave like she said. Every second I was fueling my mind with some hope that all of this was a test and by walking away I would fail. Was I supposed to stop fighting for her? Is that what she wanted? I couldn't do that.

I stood up, told Amber to move away from the door. Something in my voice must have made her scramble away because in a few seconds she was gone. I kicked open the door lightly so I wouldn't knock it off its hinges, but the lock was broken and the door knob was rolling away from me on the floor.

The room was different than when I first walked in here minutes ago. Everything in the room was in disarray. Things were thrown around, some shoved in the back like Amber hadn't thought about what went in there as long as it fit. Things were shattered on the floor from where she threw glass objects at me. Amber was standing by the window, looking out of it. The tears on her face were dried, leaving a few stains on them.

"Amber?" I stepped towards her quickly, putting my hand to her face. She flinched from my hand, and jumped away from me.

"Get away." She ordered. I almost obeyed her, but something in my gut made me stop.

"You love me."

Amber shook her head quickly.

"You said you loved me no matter what." I said, recalling her exact words.

Amber shook her head more fiercely.

I reach for her hand.

"No!" she jumped farther away from me again. "I told I can't take it anymore! Get out!" she screamed.

"Take what, Amber? I don't understand!"

I could see her eyes water, but she held the tears back. "Everything, Jon. You don't know what it's like to be in my shoes. I was dragged into all of this," she waved her arms over her head and towards me. "I was pulled into this vampire crap and then I got a stalker. Let's not forget your little toys you like to cheat on me with. I just can't do it anymore, okay? I'm sorry."

"It was getting better." I was trying to fight. I was losing.

She shook her head. "No it wasn't. I tried to keep the fire going, but I couldn't lie anymore."

"You said you loved me no matter what." I repeated. "You made me promise I'd remember that."

"I lied."

There it was, the words that broke my heart. I felt my heart tear in two.

This brings me to where I started. The final moments of my love for her, being squashed by her foot.

She went to walk away, trying to push me out of her way, taking her bags with her.

I grabbed her arm, hoping it would make her stop. "Please, don't do this." I begged, already knowing it was over.

She sniffed and as she looked at me her eyes were full of tears. She blinked and they rolled down her cheeks, but I wiped them away with one stroke of my hand. When my palm reached her face, she cringed away. I let my hand drop, feeling the pain deep inside of me."I-I just can't, Jonathan. Not anymore." she turned to go, but she stopped before stepping outside of her bedroom.

It hurt to feel the small slimmer of hope rise inside my chest and then to feel it crushed as she didn't turn around when she walked down the hallway and out the door. I watched her get into her car, feeling like every part of me was being ripped to shreds.

It hurt worse to know that this was my fault. That I caused her so much pain that she would rather leave me than love me. I must truly be a monster.

It wasn't the first time I pretty much killed someone

"No." I said to myself, rushing out her door. I ran through the house and out the door quickly, shoving the front door out of my way.

This couldn't be over, it just couldn't. I would talk to her; try to talk her out of this. I would save this.

I ran out into the yard as I saw her car pull away from the curb and down the country road, fading fast from my view.

Amber Bay was gone.

The End.