Chapter Thirty-Seven

"Cut the crap 'cause you're screaming in my ear

And you're taking up all of the space

You're really testing my patience again

And I'd rather get punched in the face

You're getting on my every last nerve

Everything you've said I've already heard

I'm sick to death of your every last breath and I don't give a fuck anyway..."

Let Yourself Go – [Green Day]

'Mr Stark... Mr Stark! MR STARK!'

'TONY!'

Tony yelped when something soft hit him in the face, and rolled onto his back to blink groggily at the ceiling. He didn't have a hangover, but his body ached from all the physical exercise he'd gotten the night before. Plus, Loki had fucked him... and he'd fucked Loki when they got back, so... yeah, Tony was tired.

'Shit,' Tony groaned and struggled to rub his eyes; one arm was trapped beneath the blankets, the other curled around his pillow. 'S'time?'

'Six-thirty,' Loki answered.

'Why are...' he yawned, then tried again; 'Why are you wakin' me up?'

'Sir, the Avengers are in the penthouse,' JARVIS said.

Tony blinked again before he shot upright. His head swam and he moaned as he clutched at the side of his face. Sure, he was a god, but apparently he still suffered aches and pains and he was in no way a goddamn morning person. He needed coffee.

''vengers?' he mumbled and turned to peer at Loki.

The other god was sitting up and already wearing Logan Thomas; his hair was a fuzzy mess and his eyes looked as sore as Tony's felt.

'JARVIS woke me a few minutes ago,' Loki told him. 'How you slept through it is beyond me.'

'Did you hit me?'

'With a pillow.' Loki shrugged. 'If it hurt then you are weaker than I thought.'

'Bastard,' Tony growled before stumbling out of bed. 'JARVIS, what the fuck are the Avengers doing here?'

'Agents Romanov and Barton woke Doctor Banner, Captain Rogers and Master Odinson one hour ago ,' JARVIS explained as Tony hastily got dressed; he dragged on an old pair of jeans, one of the Iron Man shirts his company was now making, and ran his fingers through his hair. ' They discussed last night's events before requesting access to the penthouse.'

'And you let them in?' Tony asked.

'I asked Mr Lie-smith and he explained that it would be necessary for you to get this over with as soon as possible, Mr Stark ,' JARVIS said. ' The Avengers will not rest until you discuss last night, and this may further along your plan to get kicked off the team.'

Tony sighed, rubbed his face one last time, and headed into the bathroom. He at least needed to brush his teeth before facing them; his mouth tasted vile.

'Will you be pushing for them to kick you off of the team?' Loki asked. He sounded closer and Tony glanced up as he scrubbed his teeth. Loki was standing in the doorway wearing a pair of Tony's sweats, the cuffs ending above his ankles. His shirt was baggy, blue, and something that Tony didn't remember ever buying. Maybe it was Loki's own.

'Maybe,' Tony mumbled around his toothpaste. He spat it out and continued. 'Staying on the team helps us get more information about their bases. But getting off the team is what I really want; they'll be out of the Tower and we can plan properly without having to sneak around.'

Loki nodded slowly, then tilted his head. 'I can cast invisibility over myself,' he reminded the younger god. 'If you do finally part ways, I can still sneak onto the Helicarrier. We've agreed that that's where we will find the most information, yes?'

'Yeah, probably,' Tony agreed. He rinsed his mouth and pointed a finger at Loki. 'Stay here, okay? Come running if there's a lot of shouting. We can act all loving around them and it'll prove that I'm off the market and that you can't be turned against me. I'm gonna call Pepper sometime today and let her know that I'm interviewing potential assistants. If I do get kicked off the team, we need someone else on the inside.'

'Very well,' Loki agreed. He moved aside to let Tony past, and then followed him to the door. 'We still have not discussed what happened last night,' Loki said.

Tony paused and frowned at the door. 'You wanna have meetings, now?' he asked. He looked at Loki over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows.

Loki snorted. 'Have no fear, Stark; I will not make you repeat yourself four hundred times or draw a diagram.' Tony laughed. 'We should go over everything to make sure our stories are straight. Plus, you fought Thor and the Captain; I wish to know how that went.'

'Okay,' Tony said. He pecked Loki on the lips and whispered, 'I broke Thor's shoulder just for you.' He pulled back before Loki could say anything, but saw how the Trickster's eyes had widened, how his face was flushed pink. Tony grinned and sauntered through the doorway.

{oOo}

Bruce was curled up in the far corner of Tony's U-shaped couches; he was as far away from the other Avengers as he could get, and Tony pondered that briefly before turning his attention to the others.

Rogers still had a few faint cuts and bruises on his face, but for the most part he looked fully healed. Romanov was completely fine. Her cast had been removed a few weeks ago... months? Tony honestly hadn't been paying attention. Either way, she was fine, and it irked Tony. Maybe it was time for Loki to break her arm again. Maybe both.

Thor looked his usual bright self and that pissed Tony off, but he just promised himself that he'd rip Thor's fucking arm off next time. He'd like to see the bastard heal that.

Barton's nose was taped up, both eyes were darkly bruised, and a thick cut started at his left eyebrow and disappeared into his hairline. Tony wondered if Loki had used the bird as a punching bag before deciding that it didn't matter; he'd find out later.

'There a reason you woke me up?' Tony grumbled and shuffled his way past them, into the kitchen. Rogers called his name but Tony ignored him. He was supposed to be hungover, and he had to act the part. So he scrubbed at his face and mumbled swear words under his breath and made himself the biggest, blackest cup of coffee he could. He used the prototype Hulk mug Stark Industries were working on and groaned as he took his first sip. The coffee actually helped and Tony's head stopped swimming a bit.

He briefly wondered how much alcohol he'd actually have to consume to experience being drunk again before heading back into the living room. Like Loki had told JARVIS; this had to be done. Romanov wouldn't leave until she'd screamed at Tony and called him reckless at least a dozen times. By the end of this argument, Tony would most likely be even closer to getting kicked off the team.

Or he'd have the Avengers begin packing. It was his fucking Tower, after all.

'This about last night?' Tony yawned when he re-entered the living room. Rogers, Romanov and Barton all turned to face him. Thor was standing beside the flatscreen TV, staring morosely out at New York city. Bruce picked at his scruffy jeans.

'Yes, Stark,' Romanov practically growled. 'This is about last night.'

'I don't get what the big deal is,' Tony said. 'I went out and had too much to drink. It's not anything new.'

'And that's the problem,' Romanov argued. 'Loki's decided to start a private war with SHIELD and we're losing. We can't afford to let any more agents die or any more bases fall. You might not care about the organisation, but the Avengers do. And last I checked you were part of the Avengers.'

And doesn't that piss you off? Tony mused. He took a large gulp of coffee, burned the fuck out of his mouth, but felt something warm swoosh up his throat and coat his tongue. He frowned and glanced down at his chest, but his arc reactor was still blue, and there were no glittering purple lights. He hesitated before looking at Thor, but the Thunderer was still focused on the window.

Okay... Tony thought. Better talk to Loki about that . It wasn't the first time his magic had acted in Tony's best interest. But Tony didn't like not having control of it. We have to get back to magic lessons.

'Stark!' Romanov's snarl snapped Tony's attention back to her. All he could do was shrug. 'Are you taking this seriously?' the red-head asked.

'Not really, no,' Tony answered honestly. 'I mean, am I pissed off at Loki? Hell yeah! This is my planet, and he just comes in and starts fucking shit up. I'm gonna punch him in the face the next time I see him.'

Thor scowled at him, but it was half-hearted; the guy couldn't really defend his former brother any more, not after everything that had happened over the past few months. Romanov and Barton both looked vaguely worried about Tony's claim that this was his planet, but Tony didn't care. Soon enough, they'd find out just how true Tony's words were.

'Tony,' Rogers tried, and though he sounded annoyed, he was trying to be an adult; a mediator. He knew that nothing would get done, nothing resolved, if they all screamed at each other. And Tony and the SHIELD agents had a long history of screaming at each other. 'We understand that you have your own life to lead-'

'Do you?' Tony interrupted. ''Cause I'm pretty sure that Tweety Bird and Pippi Longstocking there both think that I spend my days drinking and fucking my way around New York.'

Romanov's face remained perfectly smooth, eyes narrowed, while Barton was fiddling with the tape over his nose.

'Pepper's CEO of Stark Industries, but I still own the fucking company,' Tony said, voice lowering into a growl. 'I create everything we sell, I update everything that's already on the market. I have meetings with my board of directors, the contractors in other countries, the heads of every department. I have to co-ordinate with my PR team every fucking week to make sure that Stark Industries' stocks don't fall too far just because of the shit I do with the Avengers.

'Sometimes ,' Tony snarled, the hand gripping his mug shaking. Warm liquid spilled over his hand but Tony ignored the faint burn. ' Sometimes , I want to go out and have a fucking drink with my boyfriend. None of you have any idea what it's like for Logan! He's been targeted by Loki because of me and, what? You want me to just put my life with him on hold because Loki's decided to fuck with SHIELD? I do my best for you people, but the one night I have off you decide to start fucking scolding me like I'm an infant. News flash, Romanov! You're not the boss of me and neither is SHIELD! It's not my fault that Loki's blowing shit up!'

Tony was shouting by the end and had spilled about half of his coffee. He didn't care, despite the fact that the carpet beneath his feet was white and would stain. That'd be a bitch to get out.

Tony hadn't realised how pissed he still was. Ever since siding with Loki, he'd felt fucking giddy over what they were going to do to SHIELD, to the Avengers. Finally, Tony would prove what he was really capable of, and show the world once and for all that you do not fuck with Tony Stark!

But here he was, still pissed; still being yelled at by a bunch of fucking... fucking mortals , over how he chose to live his life. It was the 80s all over again. Don't go there, Tony. Don't touch that, Tony. Do you care about the Stark name at all, Anthony?!

'I'm a grown fucking man!' Tony shouted. Rogers looked shocked, Romanov furious. The others were silent. 'If I wanna go out and fucking drink with my boyfriend, I will!'

'You have more responsibilities now!' Romanov shouted back, just as fierce, blue eyes practically swollen with indignant rage. 'You're an Avenger whether you like it or not! When Loki targets one of us, he targets all of us!'

Tony laughed, and it wasn't a happy sound. He saw Rogers flinch and Bruce stare at him; the doctor looked... Tony couldn't even describe that look on his face. Confusion? Revulsion? Fear? He tore his eyes away to glare at Romanov, to tut his tongue at her like she was an unruly child.

'Seems that I've got the short end of the stick here, Agent Romanov,' he said. ''Cause Loki's been targeting me . The media targets me. The fucking world and SHIELD target me. I've always gotta be better than all of you. When the Avengers destroy something, the media and public blame me. When Loki destroys something, you blame me. Tell me, just why the fuck should I stick around if I'm always in the goddamn wrong?'

Silence followed his words. Romanov looked surprised, her lower jaw slowly falling open to reveal bright white teeth that spoke of expensive work. Barton had frozen and was staring over Tony's shoulder, thumb and forefinger still tugging at the edge of the tape over his nose. Thor had finally abandoned staring at the window to get closer, and was standing behind Steve; shoulders thrown back, brow furrowed in confusion, like he couldn't process what Tony was saying.

Bruce... that same fear-confusion-repulsion-fucking some emotion that Tony couldn't get a fix on was painted across his face. Tony would have to keep an eye on Bruce, or get Loki to do it; it was too early to get found out now.

Rogers' face was practically heartbroken. He looked angry and scared and fucking disappointed . For a brief moment Tony felt regret sweep through his chest. He remembered the posters, the toys, the fucking trading cards that he'd had as a kid. He remembered sitting in Howard's workshop listening to the man prattle on about Captain America, the greatest hero of them all. Tony remembered watching old footage of Cap fighting, how much little Tony had wanted to meet the man and be the man...

And then Tony remembered the anger; the resentment. Howard scowling at Tony when Tony dragged him away from his oh-so-important Captain America research. He remembered his parents fighting, Howard's focus turning more and more towards the search for Steve Rogers and his family and company being completely neglected. Tony remembered screams, abuse, Captain America is my greatest creation, Anthony! You're my worst!

No long-lost fucking video could change any of that. One brief moment of fatherly love couldn't scour away the years of neglect and abuse.

His magic pulsed in his chest, and regret, disappointment, fell away to be replaced by anger and resentment. Fuck the Avengers and fuck Captain America. All-American good boy? Rogers might trust Tony, he might want him on the team, but he was still working behind Tony's back. Nobody betrayed Tony Stark.

Fucking nobody.

Steve finally broke the silence. He swallowed thickly and licked his lips. 'Tony,' he said, voice soft, 'you don't mean that.'

Tony laughed. 'I fucking do, Capsicle. There's no profit to me staying with the Avengers.'

'Loki will come after you,' Romanov said. As always, trying to manipulate Tony. But this time into staying. Why? She wanted him off the team.

Maybe they don't have enough information on the suits, Tony thought. Maybe I haven't been reckless enough lately. They still need me around.

'Loki's already come after me, Natasha,' Tony said. 'Me getting rid of you won't change that. Actually, he might just leave me alone. Unlike you, I've never been an unnecessary dick to him.'

'He deserves everything he's gotten!' Barton snarled. His eyes flashed, and though his jaw was clenched tight against the pain, his brows were furrowed in anger.

'That's not up to us, Bird Boy. It's not even up to Asgard.' He looked at Thor. 'Loki's Jötunn, right?'

Thor blinked. 'Aye,' he agreed.

'So if you ever catch him, send him to Jötunheimr,' Tony said, shrugged a shoulder. 'A group of his peers deciding his punishment. Seems more fair than sending him back to Asgard, a place that can't even keep him fucking locked up for a year.'

'We underestimated-' Thor tried, but Tony cut in.

'Yeah, and you always will,' he said. 'That's your problem, Pikachu, and that's SHIELD's problem too. Hell, it's the Avengers' problem! You think you're better than everyone and want everyone to live by the standards you've set. And when someone fails you lash out and treat them like fucking children!' He threw his hands up and lost the rest of his coffee. JARVIS would have it cleaned. 'No wonder Loki's trying to murder us all!'

'We didn't come here to talk about Loki,' Romanov said. She was clearly trying to get back to the issue at hand- Tony and his irresponsible ways.

'I don't think we have anything left to talk about, Agent Romanov,' Tony replied. 'You're pissed, I get that. You blame me for Loki fucking shit up last night. It's not my fault you couldn't handle one little god and his ripped-off robots.'

'You should have been there!' Romanov snapped.

'I had more important things to do!' Tony shouted back.

'What, fucking your boyfriend?' she sneered. Said boyfriend chose that moment to enter, and he physically flinched when Romanov turned to glare at him.

'I-' Loki began, and Tony shoved his mug onto the DVD stand to his left.

'It's okay, Logan,' he said and crossed the room. 'They were just leaving.'

'We're not done here,' Romanov snarled. 'Your reckless behaviour is going to cost lives, Stark. Next time it might be one of ours.'

Tony sneered at her as he wrapped an arm around Loki's waist. 'I'll be sure to send a fruit basket to your funeral.'

'Tony-' Rogers began, but stuttered to a halt when Tony raised a hand.

'No, Steve. I'm done,' he said.

Rogers gaped, mouth flapping. 'Done?'

'Are you done with the Avengers?' Bruce finally spoke. Tony looked at him; Bruce's eyes were dark, bruised.

Tony wet his lips, glanced at Loki, and said, 'I dunno. Maybe. I'm fucking sick of everything, Bruce.' Bruce hesitated before nodding. Tony turned his attention to a fuming Romanov and quiet Barton. 'I'll let you know if I'm done in a couple of days. If I am, you'll have 24 hours to get your shit out of my Tower.' He paused before adding, 'All of you.'

Rogers breathed out heavily and Bruce just nodded again.

'Get out of my penthouse,' was what Tony finished with, and he used his grip on Loki's waist to drag him back down the hallway and into the bedroom. He slammed the door behind himself and leaned against it. Loki stood before him, arms folded across his chest.

'That was interesting,' he said.

'You spying on me?' Tony asked, but there was no heat to his words. He always assumed that Loki was eavesdropping on his conversations with the Avengers.

Loki nodded. 'It seems that you've bought us some time. They will not kick you off of the team now; there is something that Romanov still needs.'

'Yeah,' Tony agreed. 'I might leave some more shit out. We'll hit the Helicarrier to get the rest of the base locations, then I'll leave the team for good. I might fuck up an Avengers mission to really seal the deal. The media won't be shocked when I cut ties with the Avengers after a really public fight.'

{oOo}

Tony had spent some time tinkering in the workshop in his penthouse after the Avengers left. Eventually he grew bored, though; all of his fun projects were downstairs or in the Hideout. So he abandoned the half-finished StarkPhone 7-S and went to find Loki.

He was in the kitchen making a sandwich.

'Lunch?' Tony asked.

'Mm,' Loki hummed, not turning to face him. 'I was going to ask you if you wished to order anything, but I didn't want to disturb you.'

They still hadn't discussed the previous night's events. The Avengers had seriously pissed Tony off, and Loki had recognised that Tony needed some time alone. It was one of the reasons Tony loved him.

The genius shook that thought from his head and crossed the kitchen to lean against Loki and the counter. Loki felt warm, despite his generally lower body temperature. Or maybe that was their bond.

Tony murmured something about fighting Thor, breaking his shoulder, and Loki chuckled. 'I thought SHIELD would train its agents better,' was Loki's comment before he told Tony about the many he had murdered.

Eventually Tony spoke about Rogers, about the super-soldier almost getting his faceplate off.

Loki frowned. 'Does he suspect?'

'No,' Tony shook his head, 'I don't think so. I think it's more of an... instinct? He knows that something's wrong with Genesis, but he can't put his finger on it. He doesn't know that it's me, or that there's a person in it. Or he might suspect, now. He knows enough about my Iron Man suits to take a guess.'

'We will have to keep an eye on him.'

'Don't we always?' Tony drawled. Loki snorted. 'Anyway, what did you do to Barton? He looked seriously fucked up.'

'I went through his head last night,' Loki revealed and Tony sighed. It'd be nice if Loki would fucking tell him these things sooner. 'It wasn't important,' Loki added, and Tony eyed him. 'No, I'm not reading your thoughts.'

'Sure you're not.'

'He doesn't hate you as much as we thought he did,' Loki said.

Tony frowned. 'What?'

'Barton dislikes you, and he thinks that you're a danger to SHIELD, the Avengers, and the world.'

Tony laughed. 'The entire world?'

Loki slapped his ass and Tony let out what could only be described as a yelp . 'Let me finish, Stark.' Tony gave him a scowl that was mostly for show. 'As I was saying,' Loki said and went back to making his sandwich. 'Barton wants to trust you; he wishes that you were safer, that you were trustworthy. But you're not, so he will spy on you and get you off of the team.'

'Huh.'

'His mind and heart are warring,' Loki added. 'What we have and what we wish for are rarely the same thing.'

'I know that for a fact,' Tony murmured, thinking about his childhood; he'd wanted a dad who was fucking proud of him. He would have taken that over having Howard's love. He hadn't had either. 'So is Barton easier or harder to manipulate now that we know this?' Tony questioned.

'Neither,' Loki said. 'He and I still have a connection, and I can still use it to control him or take what I want from him. We could, perhaps, get him to trust you a little before you and the Avengers part ways. But whatever happens, he will turn on the Avengers when we want him to.'

Tony grinned at the thought and his magic did a little happy dance in his chest. It only stopped when Loki pressed a hand over his arc reactor, fingertips digging in slightly.

'We have been neglecting your magical training,' the Trickster murmured. 'Your magic is strengthening.'

'I thought it might be something like that,' Tony said. When Loki raised an eyebrow, Tony added, 'I took a sip of coffee this morning and burned my mouth; I think my magic healed it.'

'Are you busy today?' When Tony shook his head, Loki said, 'Good. I will eat and then we will go to the hideout.'

Tony just nodded and watched as Loki finally finished his sandwich. 'What the hell did you put on that thing?' he finally asked. There had to be at least seven packets of different meats and salads open on the counter, as well as three bottles of condiments and... was that baking soda? Tony never baked.

'Would you like some?' Loki asked, offering Tony the plate.

Tony blinked slowly before saying, 'Nah, you enjoy your... ah, sandwich. I'll make my own.'

'Coward,' Loki said and went to sit at the table.

'I don't want food poisoning!' Tony snapped. Loki flipped him off before chowing down on his monstrosity, and Tony laughed. It seemed that he was rubbing off on Loki. And not just in the fun way.