Chapter Thirty Four

But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today
Who waits forever anyway?

~Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen~

Monday September 8th

I can still remember my first day of high school. I'd started with most of my junior high class and we were all petrified. High school seemed a world bigger than junior high. I didn't say a word all day. I wasn't sat with anybody I knew in any of my classes. The workload seemed impossible, the other kids seemed to make friends right away and I was already known as Chief Swan's kid, do not approach, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.

I really hoped that my first day at UW would be different.

I'd explored the campus a little the week before I was due to start. I'd walked through it a couple of times in the past and never really paid attention, but on my first day I managed to find the right building pretty quickly, keeping my head ducked low as the crowds of people around me greeted each other, complained about their schedules and discussed their tutors.

I found my room and looked inside. There were a dozen people already seated, chatting and reading, all excited and anxious. I slid into a chair in the second row of the small classroom, putting my notepad and pen on the desk and pulling out a diet coke, sipping it as I tapped my feet nervously. The girl in the desk next time, with dark blonde hair and worried-looking eyes looked over and offered a nervous smile. She looked young, but most of them did since they were almost all straight out of high school. I felt old at twenty-two, about to turn twenty-three.

I smiled back and then held out my hand.

"I'm Bella."

"Charlotte." She replied, shaking my hand quickly and smiling again, still nervous.

"You from around here?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No, I'm from Michigan."

"First time away from home, huh?"

"How'd you know?" She laughed anxiously and I smiled.

"Lucky guess."

Charlotte tapped her pen against her desk as I took another gulp of diet coke. She bit her fingernails, I noticed as she chewed on one, eyes darting around the room. They kept going to the door, as though she was waiting for someone and she brushed her hair out of her face, smoothing it down. I recognised the signs immediately and grinned to myself.

"Who is he?"

"What?" She looked alarmed and I laughed quietly.

"The guy you're waiting for. Who is he?"

"Oh… he's just someone who lives in my halls of residence." She blushed slightly, shrugging in what she clearly hoped was a nonchalant manner.

"What's his name?"

"Peter." She smiled a little, looking down at the desk, "He helped me move my stuff in from the parking lot, because my parents had to go to catch their flight."

"He sounds like a nice guy." I smiled and she blushed again.

"I think so."

The door opened and a thin, sandy-haired teen came in, clutching a book bag in one hand and one of those little coffee trays from Starbucks in the other. Charlotte sat bolt upright as she saw him and his face lit up as he crossed to us, sliding into the seat in front of Charlotte. He placed one of the coffee cups in front of her.

"I got you a latte with hazelnut syrup. That's your favourite, right?" He asked breathlessly and she nodded, her cheeks glowing.

"Thanks Peter, you didn't have to do that."

"No problem." He grinned, a pink tinge touching his cheeks as he turned to face the front, the tutor finally entering.

I caught Charlotte's eye as she smiled helplessly down at her coffee cup and she bit her lip. I grinned back, writing the date at the top of my blank notebook.

~*~

"How was your first day? Did you make friends? Were the other kids mean to you?" Jasper teased as I entered The Paperback that afternoon. I threw my backpack onto a chair and pouted.

"Yeah, this one guy pulled my hair and I didn't get a gold star from teacher."

"Aw, poor baby." He pulled a sad face and held out his arms from a hug. I rolled my eyes, hugging him tightly.

"It was good. The syllabus looks like awesome, I can't wait to get started on it." I said happily. He smiled down at me before kissing my forehead and pushing me towards the café.

"Got some coffee in you, Hells Bells. Alice will be here soon and she'll want to hear all about it." He grinned. I pulled a face.

"No, she'll try to convince me that I do, in fact, want a birthday party even after repeated explanations that I don't give a crap." I said pointedly and he grinned, holding his hands up in a 'what can you do' gesture.

Sure enough, fifteen minutes later Alice skipped into the store and leapt agilely onto the sofa next to me.

"Bell-a!"

"A-lice." I mocked her extended syllables but she merely smiled prettily as she lifted my notes out my hands and tossed them onto the nearby table.

"Bella, we need to discuss your birthday." She announced firmly and I gave her a flat look.

"No, we don't. I'm not having one. I'm staying twenty-two forever."

"I'm afraid it's not up to you." She said matter-of-factly and took my hands in both of hers, "You are my very best friend, Bella, not to mention my brother's girlfriend. I cannot allow the twenty-third anniversary of your birth to pass by without celebration."

"But Alice… I don't care. It's a birthday. Everyone has them." I reminded her. She frowned.

"You celebrated Edward's birthday, back in June!"

"That was his choice to celebrate, not mine!"

"But you still joined in! Please Bella, you know how much I want to do this. Do it for me."

I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

"Jasper, your girlfriend is giving me a headache!"

"Give her what she wants and she'll go away." He laughed from behind the desk and I glowered at him. Traitor.

"Alice, I'd be happy to have a few beers and a take-out. Maybe watch a movie with you guys." I said, "I am not dressing up. I'm not having a party. I'm not drinking your weird, fruity cocktails."

"So I can arrange a night in at our place, with some food, drinks and a movie?" Alice processed the information thoughtfully.

"I'm talking about you, Jazz, Edward and me. Rosalie and Emmett as well, obviously." I said firmly, "No going overboard, OK?"

She considered the situation carefully for a few minutes, clearly trying to see how she could manipulate it to her own liking before nodding.

"That seems fine. Alright, keep Saturday night free. That's the twelfth, we can have a good evening and then celebrate at midnight!"

"And by celebrate, you mean say 'oh, look, it's midnight, what an uneventful occurrence'?" I asked hopefully and she giggled, cuddling me.

"You're so funny."

"I know." I reached for my copy of 'Wise Children' and began to read it in preparation for a discussion in class the next day. Alice sat with her feet in my lap, sketching intensely as she worked on her big project for the year. Most of her last year at university was spent on one design project. Whilst most people were expected merely to design, budget and come up with samples, Alice was reaching for the stars. She'd somehow convinced a local decorating company to look through her portfolio and agree to give her free range in one of the show homes they were due to start work on in the New Year. How she'd done it, I'd never know, but I had a feeling she was as good at manipulating other people as she was with me. It was good to know I wasn't the only one.

Edward's face appeared next to me and I kissed him softly.

"Hey."

"Hello, sweet girl." He smiled, gesturing for Alice to move so he could sit beside me. Grudgingly, she collected her things and moved into a comfy chair as Edward wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. I kissed the top of his head.

"Good day?"

"It's over." He mumbled tiredly, "I'm grateful for that at least."

"Love you." I said softly, stroking his hair. He sighed quietly, not opening his eyes. He had the next week off, the first vacation time that he'd taken all year and that was the only celebration I needed for my birthday; a few days of peace and quiet with him were all I really wanted.

"Is he asleep?" Alice whispered and I looked down at the top of Edward's head. He was still nestled against me and I smiled, continuing to stroke his hair.

"I think so. I'll leave him be for half an hour or so, he needs the rest."

"Been wearing him out?" Jasper said quietly, a teasing grin on his face and I put my tongue out at him.

"He's been working like there's no tomorrow. Now that he's chosen his speciality, at least he can focus on that." Edward had chosen to specialise in haematology a few weeks earlier but would continue working at the hospital until an internship in his specialist subject came up. There had been rumours about a potential spot opening up at his hospital and he'd be competing against two other interns; as a result, he'd spent the last few weeks researching a paper to write, in the event that the opportunity did arise.

I continued to read my book for almost an hour, until Edward eventually shifted, mumbling slightly as he yawned. I smiled down at him.

"Hey sleepy-head."

"Sorry…" He said softly, rubbing his eyes and I shook my head.

"Don't worry about. Let's get you home for an early night."

"I wanted to hear about your first day." He protested weakly.

"It was fine. Got my syllabus and timetable sorted, got registered and all that crap. Come on, let's get some dinner." I said firmly, getting up and pulling him to his feet. Alice smiled at us.

"I'll see you later."

"See you later, Alice. Bye Jazz." I waved at him as we departed, Edward's arm around my waist as we walked the short distance to my apartment. It was a warm, light evening and the trees were still green with only a hint of autumn colours threatening the blooms. I wrapped my arm around Edward's waist, hooking my fingers through his belt loops and leaning against him as we walked.

"Did anything happen today?" I asked him, thinking back to his earlier dismissal of the day. He shrugged a little, his thumb rubbing against the skin of my waist, where my t-shirt had ridden up slightly.

"Nothing particular. Just one of those days when nothing seems to change. You remember Arnold?"

I did. Arnold was a man who'd been in a car crash and slipped into a coma. They'd been hoping for days that he'd come out of it.

"Did something happen?" I asked.

"Yesterday he was showing more brain activity and we hoped… it looked like he'd come around. But today there was less than normal activity. Perhaps it'll be better again tomorrow." He said quietly as we approached my building. I released my hold on him to find my keys and swipe card in my bag, but the door opened as we stood there. Jacob and Leah appeared, both stopping abruptly at the sight of us. I waved nonchalantly.

"Hey guys."

"Bella, Edward." Leah said calmly, trying to act casually whilst Jacob scratched his head nervously.

"Are you on shift tomorrow afternoon?" I asked her and she nodded, "Cool, I'll see you then."

We moved past them and Edward chuckled as climbed the stairs to my apartment.

"How long has that being going on?"

"Oh, well over a month. They think they're subtle, but I'm pretty sure Seth knows and you can't hide anything from Alice so obviously Jasper knows as well."

"Well… they're good together." Edward offered as we reached my door and I smirked.

"You're just saying that because you're relieved Jacob doesn't want to get into my pants anymore."

"There's only room for one man in those pants and I've already paid my rent." He grinned and I laughed, closing the door behind me.

"That's the singularly weirdest thing that you've ever said." I told him, pulling him towards me. He laughed, cupping my cheek.

"Purple monkey dishwasher."

"Stop ripping off The Simpsons and get out of those scrubs." I ordered and he raised his eyebrows. I laughed, "I meant get changed so we can have dinner, but if you're up for other activities..."

Almost instantly he had swept my legs out from underneath me, carrying me to the bedroom as I pulled my t-shirt over my head. He growled his approval at the dark blue bra I was wearing, lowering his face to my neck and biting softly at the skin. He placed me on the bed and I lay back, pulling him down towards me as my fingers fumbled with drawstring of his scrubs.

"You're beautiful." He murmured and I closed my eyes as he kissed me.

"And you're mine." I told him.

~*~

Saturday September 12th.

"Am I going to kill her?" I asked Edward as we drove towards my apartment. Alice had found me at The Paperback earlier that day to collect my keys so that she could set up for my birthday. Edward smiled as we pulled into an empty space outside my building.

"She knows not to go too far. Now cheer up." He ordered and I pulled a face.

"I'll cheer up when I go up and find my apartment completely empty."

"Bella…"

He gave me a flat look as we climbed out the car and I smiled, closing my door behind me and slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"OK, OK… I'll be happy. I just don't care about my birthday, Edward."

"No, but we do so you're going to have to care this year." He said firmly, kissing me as we went up to my apartment. The door swung open and Alice beamed at me.

"Bella!"

"Alice!" I cried in mock-excitement as she pulled me into the apartment. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were waiting inside and the smell of Italian food filled the apartment, herbs and garlic mingling deliciously. My stomach growled as Alice hugged me, gesturing to the coffee table where several bottles of wine and spirits were waiting beside a pile of DVDs.

"See? Exactly what you asked for." Alice said, cuddling me tightly. My heart swelled in my chest and I put my arms around her.

"Thank you, Alice. This is perfect."

I turned to greet Rosalie and Emmett, hugging them whilst Jasper and Edward carried plates of pasta and sauce into the living room and Alice poured me a drink. It was the perfect evening, good food, great company and free-flowing alcohol. We put 'Blazing Saddles' on but the amusing dialogue was lost amongst the chatter. Edward, Rosalie, Alice and I discussed our favourite films, music we enjoyed, funny things that had happened to us whilst we ate and drank. Emmett and Jasper were arguing cheerfully over the Seahawks chances at the title when I noticed something odd.

"Rosalie, why aren't you drinking? I thought that you guys were getting a cab home." I asked the woman sat next to me. She hesitated, glancing over at Emmett who grinned, his dimples deepening.

"We weren't going to tell you today, since it's your birthday and we didn't think it'd be a good time but…" She smiled beautifully, "I'm pregnant. We're having a baby."

Stunned silence. And then…

"Holy fuck!"

"Jasper!" Alice kicked him in the shin, "Rosalie, that's wonderful! Emmett!" She launched herself at her brother, hugging him tightly whilst I put an arm around Rosalie.

"How far along are you?" I asked and she smirked.

"Only a few weeks. I think I might have conceived just after the wedding."

"A honeymoon baby. Nice." Jasper held out his hand to Emmett and they high-fived. I rolled my eyes and we began to talk excitedly about the prospect of a baby.

"Please let it get your brains, Rosalie." Edward teased, "The last thing this world needs is another Emmett running around."

"What are you saying, Eddie?" Emmett said, pretending to be hurt. Edward scowled at the nickname and Rosalie leaned over to kiss her husband's cheek.

"Don't tease, baby. Anyway, I'm going for a scan on Tuesday, so I'll get copies of the pictures made."

Alice gasped suddenly, looking at her watch.

"Oh no! We missed it!" She cried unhappily.

"Missed what?" I asked and she pouted.

"Its quarter past twelve… damn it, I wanted to propose a toast at midnight on the dot."

"I'm OK with not having a toast." I assured her, getting to my feet and reaching for the open bottle of wine. Edward laughed and tugged my hand, pulling me onto his lap.

"Let her have her fun, love." He suggested, nuzzling my neck and I groaned as Alice produced a wrapped gift, holding it out to me.

"This is from Jasper and I."

"Don't worry, Hells Bells, I chose it." Jasper grinned, lounging on the floor in front of the coffee table. Alice scooted along the floor to sit between his legs, watching in anticipation as I fumbled with the wrapping paper. I hated opening presents with an audience; the watchful gaze and pressure to react in just the right way were horrible sensations and it always felt forced.

"Mother of sweet baby Jesus!" I gasped as the box of a brand new laptop computer appeared under the layers of wrapping paper. Alice giggled delightedly and Jasper snorted.

"You like?"

"Take it back. You can't give me this." I said firmly and Jasper shook his head.

"Nope. It's our birthday-slash-congratulations on starting university present. No returns accepted."

"Your other laptop just isn't reliable enough," Alice said firmly, "The last thing you need is for it to crash in the middle of an essay, so say thank you and accept the gift graciously."

"Guys… thank you." I mumbled, ducking my head so that my hair fell into my face as I blushed. They grinned happily, looking very pleased with themselves.

Emmett threw a gift bag into my lap before resting back on the sofa with a smile.

"That's from Mama Rosie and me. And Little Cullen, of course." He said proudly, patting Rosalie's stomach. She rolled her eyes but kissed his cheek fondly as I opened the bag. Inside was gorgeous crystal, hanging on a thin thread, clearly designed to hang from the ceiling. Rosalie gestured to the large windows on the opposite wall.

"Hang it over there and you'll get a great rainbow effect."

"This is beautiful, thank you so much. I'd come and hug you, but I'm way too comfy." I wiggled in my seat in Edward's lap and he squeezed me, a warning to stop. I placed the crystal next to the laptop on the little table beside the comfy chair that we'd occupied and smiled at them.

"Thank you. This has been a really good birthday, much better than I was expecting."

"We're only thirty minutes into it." Jasper pointed out, "We can go on celebrating."

"And we will. I say we go out for drinks tomorrow. I mean tonight. Whenever." Emmett peered at the time and I grinned.

"Well, I never pass up an opportunity to get drunk."

"A woman after my own heart." Emmett grinned, gulping half a glass of beer in one mouthful. Rosalie groaned and hit his leg.

"Home. Now. And if you think I'm taking care of you when you're collapsed on the bathroom floor, crying like a baby, you've got another think coming."

I stood, hugging and kissing each of them. Emmett squeezed me so tightly that I thought that my ribs might crack and Jasper wrapped me up in a warm hug, kissing my forehead.

"Happy birthday, HB."

"Thanks Jazz." I grinned, "I'll see you in the morning."

As the door closed, I felt Edward's arms snake around my waist and he kissed my neck softly. I leaned back into his warm embrace, his solid chest pressing against my back.

"Can I give you your present now?" He murmured against the skin of my neck and I smirked.

"If it involves going to the bedroom, absolutely."

"It may well end up in the bedroom, but I do have a real gift for you as well." He chuckled, releasing his hold on me and crossing to the door, where his coat hung on a hook. He pulled out a bright blue jewellery box and my heart jumped, but it was too big to contain a ring, much to my relief. But something else caught my attention and I frowned.

"Edward, is that Tiffany's?"

"Yes." He said simply, holding it out to me but I held up my hands, refusing to touch the gift.

"No! Edward, you can't just spend a ton of money like that!" I said insistently. He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, I can. Because you are my girlfriend, because I love you and because it's your birthday. Not to mention the fact that I'm liable to get irritable if you don't accept the gift graciously." Edward finished, taking my hand and pressing the box into it. I didn't grasp it, still feeling unhappy. Edward sighed and kissed me, cupping my cheek gently.

"If it makes you feel better, I won't get you anything for Christmas."

We both knew that this was a lie but I couldn't help smiling. Edward laughed, delighted at getting his own way as I took the box. Inside it, wrapped in delicate layers of white tissue, lay a thin silver chain with two interlocked rings hanging from it, one gold and one silver. My heart pounded in my chest, the blood rushing in my ears as Edward lifted the necklace and put the box to one side. He tilted my chin up so that he could see my face clearly, recognising my panic

"This is not a proposal. These are not engagement rings. It is just something to prove my commitment to you, for as long as you'll have me." He said quietly, his smooth voice rough with emotion. I swallowed the lump in my throat and leaned up to kiss him, feeling tears threatening to spill.

"How about always?" I asked, "Is always OK?"

"That's a long time." He warned as I fingered the necklace gently. Undoing the clasp, he fastened it around my neck and I placed a hand over the rings as they hung lightly against my chest.

"I know." I said.

~*~

Saturday November 14th

"Do you know what today is?" Jasper asked as I ticked off the delivery sheet, confirming that we had everything on the list. As I hung the clipboard up on its hook on the wall, I shrugged.

"Saturday?" I guessed.

"Funny, Swan. Seriously, what day is it?" He said, rolling his eyes as we loaded books onto the trolley and pulled it out into the shop.

"Well, in 1862, it's the day that Abraham Lincoln approved General Ambrose Burnside's plan to capture the Confederate capital at Richmond, Virginia, leading to the Battle of Fredericksburg." I grinned at his expression of disbelief. He blinked, open-mouthed.

"How, in the name of all that is good and holy, do you even know that?"

"I got one of those calendars that have random facts on them for each day." I laughed, shoving copies of 'The Lord of the Rings' onto the shelf. Jasper snorted and called me a dork, waving as Edward appeared in the store, carrying a bag of doughnuts. I beamed at him.

"You got my text! Best boyfriend ever."

"If the love of my life wants doughnuts, today of all days, she shall receive." He said in a cheerful voice and Jasper sniggered.

"Edward, she doesn't even know what today is." He said accusingly.

"Yes, I do. It's the day that Apollo 12 was launched in an unmanned exploration of the surface of mars by NASA in 1969." I declared proudly, reaching for a jelly doughnut. Edward sighed heavily.

"I knew I would regret buying that calendar. Bella, please tell me that you know what day it is."

"It's the day-"

"Stop spouting out random facts!" Jasper laughed, sitting on the desk with a glazed doughnut. Leah, having heard about the doughnuts, appeared at Edward's side and took a chocolate one, looking at me in curiosity.

"What's going on?"

"Think back to one year ago today." Jasper suggested as Edward watched me, waiting for the penny to drop. I chewed the inside of my cheek,

One year ago… November… about a week before Thanksgiving…

The penny dropped and concussed my subconscious.

"Oh my god!" I yelped before launching myself into Edward's arms, "Edward, I'm so sorry!"

"What?" Leah asked, desperate for information and Jasper laughed,

"Bella and Edward met one year ago today."

"Ugh. Let me guess, it was love at first sight, they couldn't stay away from each other and bluebirds led all the woodland creatures in a happy little song." Leah rolled her eyes and Edward laughed loudly, holding me tightly.

"Not quite."

"Jazz, I'm taking the rest of the day off. Edward, grab your doughnuts." I winked and led him out of the store.

We half-ran back to my apartment and no sooner had I closed the door than Edward had seized me and was kissing me powerfully, his hands on my waist, pushing my shirt up. I moaned into his kiss and he pulled back, smirking.

"I'm quite upset that you forgot, Bella." He scolded me. I wrapped my fingers into his hair, tugging his head towards me.

"I didn't forget. It just slipped my mind momentarily." I protested weakly and closed my eyes as he pressed me back against the wall, his mouth on mine again, "I'll make it up to you."

"You certainly will." He growled and I pushed him towards the bedroom. Late afternoon sun was pouring into the room as I pulled him onto the bed, our clothes flying in all directions as we fell onto the mattress. The only thing that remained was the necklace, the metal warmed by my bare skin and Edward paused to admire it for a moment, his hands running slowly over my naked breasts. I bit my lip and he smiled leaning down to kiss me, pressing his hips to mine. I groaned, desperate for him to be inside me and pushed him onto his back, saddling his waist.

"Bella…" He whispered, his eyes pulsing brightly and I smiled.

"Forgive me?"

"Like I can refuse you anything in this position." He laughed, sitting up to kiss me. We shuffled back so that he was leaning against the headboard, his hands on my waist. I kissed him softly.

"Forgive me?" I asked again.

"Always." He promised as he bucked his hips up and entered me. I gasped, pressing my forehead to his as we moved slowly together, pleasure pulsing through me, shattering my nerves and I let out a throaty moan. His lips found mine as his hands guided my hips, our rhythm picking up its pace and I brought Edward's face to mine, kissing him with bruising force as we moved together, faster and faster until it was too much and our mouths separated, each of us gasping for air and moaning at the ecstasy we'd caused.

I slumped against Edward's bare chest, our skin slick with sweat and he ran a hand up my back before twining it in my hair, tilting my head so that he could kiss my neck, tongue touching lightly against the fluttering pulse point.

"So beautiful." He whispered and I closed my eyes, sliding off of him onto the bed beside him, keeping one leg draped over his. Edward breathed heavily, burying his face in my hair,

"We should celebrate like this every year."

"Only once a year?"

"Once a day. In celebration of the hour that we met." He decided, "And twice on Holidays."

I laughed, cuddling to his side as he put his arms around me. His skin was wonderfully warm and smooth, and I ran my hand over the soft spattering of hair across his chest, sighing in satisfaction.

"Did you have any other plans for today?" I asked and he smiled.

"No."

"Good. We're staying in bed and eating doughnuts, then we're going to a restaurant of your choice, where I will be buying you dinner. Then I say we get some alcohol and get back into bed." I reeled off and he laughed, kissing my forehead.

"You're very good at improvised celebrations, sweet girl. Although, you most certainly won't be buying me dinner."

"Yes, I most certainly will. And if you argue, I won't you have the last chocolate doughnut." I said, reaching across him for the doughnut bag,

~*~

We went to a little seafood restaurant by the docks, Edward deliberately grossing me out by ordering fish that still had the eyes. He made it up to me by buying us each an ice-cream cone to enjoy whilst we walked along the docks, the water lapping noisily at the concrete.

"I just don't get how you can eat something that can still look at you!" I protested.

"It's not looking at you, it's dead and cooked." Edward laughed, catching a drip of ice-cream as it trickled down the outside of the cone. It was really too cold for ice-cream, but I could never say no to ice-cream. I licked my cone, lacing my fingers through Edward's as we walked. Music was playing, breaking the peaceful night as it poured out of the bar, Meyer.

I leant on the railings opposite the bar and grinned at Edward as we finished our desserts.

"Déjà vu?"

"This certainly does seem familiar." He smiled, pushing my hair out of my face. I turned so that I was facing him, taking his hands in my mine. He kissed my knuckles softly, his lips cold from the ice-cream before running a finger over the rings that hung around my neck.

This was the wrong place and the wrong time to say what I was going to say. But I had to do it, because I was so happy. I know that doesn't make sense, but I was more in love with this man than I could put into words and if I wasn't honest with him now, if I let this carry on further than a year, I was never going to be brave enough to say it. Part of me was screaming not to do it, to let us carry on in peace and quiet until it came to a head, but the sensible part of me was quietly assuring me that if I did it now, it would hurt less in the long run.

My heart thudded and I put my hand over his, holding it to my chest with the rings.

"Edward, I'm not going to marry you." I said quietly. He froze and I met his eyes. He was staring at me with a devastating expression, his brow furrowed. I lifted my hand to his face, running my thumb over his cheekbone as the words ran through my mind of how I could explain this to him.

"Edward, marriage will never make me happy. You make me happy, but if I agreed to marry you one day it wouldn't be fair on either of us." I stammered.

"Bella, please don't-" He started desperately but I put my fingers on his mouth, pleading for his silence.

"I'm not going to marry you. But… I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to stay with you and live with you and wake up with you." I rushed to explain, clutching his fingers in my other hand, "And I think that's enough to make us happy for the rest of our lives. I hope you do too." My voice faded away as he stared at me for a long moment, still looking utterly distraught.

He didn't reply, lifting his gaze to stare out over the water. Tears threatened my eyes. Stupid! Stupid! He's going to hate you! My mind screamed at me and I ducked my head, pressing my face to his chest, feeling my breath shaking as I exhaled. I clutched at the front of his coat, biting on my lip and praying that he wouldn't walk away, hoping desperately that if I could just keep this grasp on him, he would never be able to leave me, despite my selfishness.

"I think that waking up next to you for the rest of my life is more than I could ever ask for."

His words made the breath catch in my throat and I squeezed my eyes closed, wondering if he'd actually said them or if I'd imagined it. I stood perfectly still, staring at the dark fabric of his coat in front of my face until his fingers slid under my chin, lifting my face so that he could see my eyes. He was smiling, his eyes full of love.

"Bella, I told you before that I've waited my whole life for you. And now I have you, I won't let this come between us. You know that I am committed to you." He touched the rings at my throat and I brought his hand to my mouth, kissing it firmly.

"You're not mad?" I asked desperately, clutching his hand and he smiled, twining his fingers into my hair.

"How can I be angry when you just promised to spend the rest of our lives together?" He asked softly.

"You wanted to get married." I reminded him weakly.

"I want you more." He said firmly, "As you said, marriage is not the be-all and end-all of a relationship. We can be whatever we want to be, Bella. If we want to be together for the rest of our lives, then that is what we'll be. Marriage is only one path. It's the one I would have preferred, I admit, but only because that's what I've always seen when I imagined spending the rest of my life with someone."

"You're sure?" I asked, staring up at him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Well… what's your opinion on having children?"

"I'm not opposed to it, but it's not something I'd aim for. Probably one day, I'll want them, so it's not a definite no."

"Good answer. I would like children with you one day." He laughed, stroking my cheek, "Yes, I'm sure, Bella. I want you, always."

I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him eagerly. He put his arms around my waist, lifting me off the ground as he laughed.

"I love you, Edward. I really do, I love you so much." I whispered quickly, "I love you."

"I love you too." He said back, cutting me off with a kiss. I buried my face in his neck, my feet dangling off the ground as I breathed in his delicious scent, kissing his pulse with quick, light kisses. He lowered me to the ground, kissing me again and running his tongue across my lips, hot and persuasive. I parted my lips, pressing my tongue against his as I ran my hands into his hair before pulling back quickly and reaching into my jeans pocket.

"I want to give you something." I said breathlessly, pulling something out and holding it out to him. Edward looked at the gold ring in confusion.

"Bella?"

"This isn't an engagement ring, or anything." I said quickly, "But you gave me a ring, so I wanted to give you one. This was actually Charlie's wedding ring. He never took it off, even after Renee left. He said… he said it was to show that he'd made a commitment and he wanted to stand by it, just like you said that you are committed to me, so that's what I'm doing now. This is my commitment to you, Edward Cullen."

Edward stared down at the ring in his hand, his eyes fierce with intense concentration. After a long pause he looked at me.

"Bella, are you sure about this? This is Charlie's. I don't think I can accept this."

"Please?" I asked, "Edward, I need you to understand. Charlie was the most important person in my life and I want you to have this part of him. He would have liked you." I smiled weakly, "I mean, he would have threatened you with a shot gun to make sure you were good enough for me, but he would have liked you."

Edward laughed slightly, running a hand through his hair as he examined the plain gold ring. I took it and his right hand, sliding it onto the ring finger and kissing it gently. Once again he pulled me to him, holding me lovingly as music played distantly and the water beat against the docks.

A/N: Oh my little chicklets, only one more chapter to go! Very distressing stuff! Hope you enjoyed this one, it's all wrapping up a bit now, so the next chapter is an epilogue style one. It was at this point I started reading back over the first couple of chapters, comparing Bella then to Bella now. She's come a long way, has our little HB. Oh, and the outtakes will be posted after the epilogue, not in a separate story.

Regarding the marriage issue – the only reasons I saw in the books that Bella eventually agreed to marry Edward, was because she wanted a) schmexing, b) vamping and c) to save Edward's soul. My Bella has schmexing galore, vampires aren't real and Edward's soul isn't an issue here, so she's sticking to her guns on this one. She's come a long way, as I said, but she's not a different person entirely. The fact that she's committed herself to someone so wholly is a huge thing for her, so don't belittle her for that. Besides, I always think that stories that end a little bitter-sweet are ultimately more fulfilling than 'happily ever after'. After all 'HEA' is common place. Loving someone forever is much rarer, don't you think?

Who Wants To Live Forever – This is Bella accepting Edward's commitment and him taking hers. I love the first two lines, that's Bella talking about Edward loving her and the impact that he's had on her existence.

www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/cgi/set?id=12357711 – The necklace that Edward gives Bella (only I couldn't find the original picture – this is exactly the same, only with two silver rings, whereas the one I saw had one silver and one gold). The other ring is Charlie's.

OK, going to scoot off now. Been a crayzee busy week, starting back at uni. Woohoo, I'm a second year! I spent most of Wednesday wandering around the Fresher's fair, collecting free stuff. Strangely enough, in one pack I got a rape alarm and a packet of condoms – weird combination! Then I was in seminars and lectures all day Thursday, spent most of today organising my placement for April and then had work this evening. But I'm staying cheerful because next Friday I'm off to see Ross Noble up in London! Woo! I've been bragging about this a lot, which is pointless, cos most people have never heard of him! Find him on youtube. Just put in 'Ross Noble', 'owl' and 'blanket' then click the top link. All of his shows are 99% improvisation, so I can't wait!

Oh, and thank you for the reviews obviously! They totally make my day, I love each and every one of you! I won't say anymore, because this is now the longest author's note in the history of author's notes. Oh, and also, Bella's facts are all gotten from Wikipedia, so judge the accuracy for yourselves!

Reviewers will receive their chosen Cullen/Werewolf and a Tiffany's box. What's inside yours?

Love

Katie