Chapter 37

I Love Myself…So Much

[Jade's POV]

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

"Hold on one minute!" Cat yelled back as Tori and I stood outside of her small room.

The door finally swung open as Cat stood in the door way with a flower dress on.

"Cat its winter. It might be California but it's still kind of chilly outside. Put on something worth wearing." I stated nonchalantly as I pushed her aside and into her small room with Tori close behind.

She closed the door before walking over to a single dresser that sat in the corner. She pulled out a pair of booty shorts. "How about these?"

"Cat."

"Okay, okay." She stated sadly as she pulled out a pair of jeans. I never even knew Cat owned a pair of jeans.

I turned to Tori who just kept quiet. I knew she didn't want to be here, but she forced herself to come. She started to scratch the palm of her hand before I stopped her. I don't want her to be nervous about anything. I'm here.

I just so happened to glance over at Cat at the moment she was sliding her jeans up and my eyes widened at the sight.

Her thighs were covered in large red marks and scratches and I had to say it hurt just from looking at them.

"Cat! What happened?" I asked as I stood up and walked over to her to get a better look at the huge scars and scratches all over her thighs and legs.

She looked up at me with said eyes as she continued to pull her pants up in which I could tell caused her pain.

"What happened? Did someone do that to you?"

She nodded as tears came to her eyes and I…I kind of felt bad for her. I mean here she is trying to get back on her feet and Lord knows she's trying and someone is hurting her? Who has the nerve?

"Who did that? Someone here?"

She shook her head. "No. No one here did it."

I crossed my arms. "Then who did it Cat, you?"

"You did Jade." She said in a sad voice.

"What?" I heard Tori say from behind me and I damn sure was asking the same question.

"What do you mean I did that?" I asked as I uncrossed my arms and let them fall to my sides. "I never touched you there."

"No. It happened when you were dragging me across the concrete that day? You remember Jade?" She asked as she put her head down.

I heard Tori stand from the bed. "What? When were you dragging her across concrete?"

I instantly felt so much gilt and why, I don't know. Cat deserved what I did to her….didn't she? Why do I feel this way? I didn't mean….fuck yes I did. I did mean to hurt her! She put a gun to my baby's head! She deserved that!

"Jade?" Tori called out madly since I didn't answer her the first time.

"I already told you Tori. I told you I beat the crap out of her and you said…"am I supposed to believe that?" ." I said in a southern girl accent, the one she always hated.

"I don't talk like that! And this isn't funny!" She stomped a foot.

Coming to get Cat was a bad idea from the start. Tori's already worked up and we haven't even left yet. She hasn't even said one word to her yet!

"Stop!" I yelled out just for my own reasons. "Drop it, let's go." I said before I reached over and opened the door and stormed out.

Once Cat was signed out and in my custody for the next few hours we just decided the best thing to do was go to dinner.

We went to an inexpensive restaurant and sat in a booth close to a window. The restaurant was pretty dark and peaceful, and I hope this just goes well.

"Thank you." Cat said breaking the silence that sat among us. She sat on the opposite side of the table than of Tori and I.

I took a sip of my drink. "How's it going in there?"

She gave a small smile. "They are so nice to us. It's been going really well. And oh they even have ice-cream machines!"

"Sounds good Cat. You look a lot healthier." I said.

She nodded. "I do feel a lot better."

Silence fell among us again before she broke the silence. "How's Evelyn?"

Tori looked over at her when she mentioned her daughter's name. "Evelyn is doing okay. You need to talk to her." Tori said as her hand found mine under the table.

"I tried Tori. She won't listen to me."

"She'll call you soon." Tori reassured and I just looked at her with questionable eyes.

How the hell does she know what Evelyn will do?

Cat just looked down. "I….I wish I could start over." She looked up at us with teary eyes. "I wish I could just take everything back. I swear I didn't mean do anything I've done. I never meant to leave my family. I love them more than I love anything. I promise Jade, I promise Tori I never intentionally did any of this to my family. Daniel….I couldn't stop him." She said as she put her hands to her face and started to cry hard.

"Daniel did what Cat?"

"He pushed me into drugs. He sold them, and I didn't find out until close before he started to turn me to them. He gave me shots when I told him don't. He beat me and slapped me around. He told me he wanted me to be his "money maker". He told me I wasn't worth anything to him. I was trash. I loved him Jade. And he treated me like he did. He's never done that to me before, ever! I couldn't stop the feeling that kept coming back from the drugs and he gave them to me no matter what I said or not. I end up becoming addicted. I wanted them more and more, and I abandoned my family Tori. I never meant for that to happen! I loved my family! I love my family! I love them so much!"

She got quiet for a minute before she spoke again.

"There's not a day, an hour, a minute, a second that goes by where I don't think about my baby, my Sunshine. I miss her so much Jade. It hurts so much Tori. I…." She looked at us and shook her head as more tears streamed from her eyes. I could tell she was just….at a loss for words and I couldn't stop the tears that started to fill my eyes.

"Guys….just….I'm sorry for what I did to Shiloh. I always will be. I….I wasn't…I wasn't thinking. There's….no. Guys….just, cherish your children. Tell them you love them everyday. Spend as much time as you can with them because…you just don't know when…when they'll be gone."

I couldn't hold the tears that filled my eyes anymore. I can't, if someone called me and told me that Shiloh or Stallone…is….gone. I would literally drop dead. I don't even know how she can sit here and deal with all this. Deal with losing her husband, deal with losing her daughter, deal with losing her family, deal with everyone just hating her, deal with this all. And I had the nerve to….beat her. Ughh. I just want everything to be over and done.

Tori hit me on my thigh letting me know she wanted me to get up so she could slide out and I did. I watched as she slid out of the booth and walked over to Cat. She grabbed her arm and pulled her up into a tight hug as she cried with her. I looked around the small restaurant and saw many eyes on us.

"C'mon let's just go." I said as I reached into my purse and pulled out a $5. I threw it on the table for our drinks before heading to the door with Cat and my wife following behind.

[Bailey's POV]

"Pick one." My dad said as he held cards out in front of me. "Don't let me see it."

I smiled as I looked at the cards before picking one and holding it close to my chest.

He took the cards shuffled them then held them out to me again. "Put it back." He said as he turned away. I easily slid the card back into the middle of the pile.

He shuffled them up. "You ready?"

I smiled and nodded.

He took the cards held them up flinged all of them onto the floor before he bent down and tapped my foot. "Lift." He said and I did and to my surprise there was a card right underneath my foot.

He grabbed the card and handed it to me. "Was that your card?"

I flipped the card over in amazement because it was indeed my card. "Oh my gosh! How did you do that!?" I asked excitedly as if I were a small child.

"I'll teach you later." He laughed.

I just….love, love, love, love, love, love I can't say it enough. I love my dad. He's so…amazing! He can do everything! Write, sing, dance, do magic, act, everything! He's so talented! He took me out to lunch today and god I just….it was amazing. One of the best days of my life. He explained to me how he had a dream he had a daughter, and he said it was so real, but he knew he didn't. He's been living single in Nevada for the past 18 years. He said he remembers the night with my mom. He said they were young and stupid. He also apologized for not being here my whole life, and that he wishes he could have seen me growing up, but it's not his fault. I never told him how neglected I was growing up with my mother. He thinks Trina is such a great mother, and right now she is. I'm not going to bring up her past because I can truly see she is trying to move on from it. I can see she is genuinely trying to do better. So for me to bring the negative side of her might make him judge her. And I don't want any of that.

I never in a million yeas would have thought my mother would do something like this…for me. Just for me. She's 100% proven she's real about wanting to make things up; about being my mother. I love her so much and I love my dad so much and I love Marcus so much and for the first time in my life…

I love myself….so much.

[Shiloh's & Roxy's Text]

Roxy: Hey.

Shiloh: Hi (frowning emoticon)

Roxy: (frowning emoticon) What's wrong Angel?

Shiloh: Stallone is what's wrong.

Roxy: Is she telling you not to be with me?

Shiloh: She told me she "searched" for some people. She practically is trying to hook me up with someone she doesn't even know telling me I can have kids with them and bullshit! Does she not understand that everything is fine, that I'm happy? Everything is not about her! Who is she to plan out my life!?

Roxy: She did that!? She's lost her mind. I mean I understand why she doesn't trust me, but…I've changed. I'm just not that person I used to be and she just really thinks I'm going to hurt you, but I promise you baby I won't.

Shiloh: I know you won't Roxanna. I trust you.

Roxy: Thank you Shiloh, that means a lot to me. Stallone just needs to step down….anyways, how are you?

Shiloh: I'm fine, and you?

Roxy: Bored. What are you doing?

Shiloh: Sitting here in my room. I'm grounded.

Roxy: You? Grounded!? What did you do?

Shiloh: mmmm…..nothing…..

Roxy: (brow lifting emoticon)

Shiloh: Okay I…got suspended from school….

Roxy: Why?

Shiloh: I put some scissors to a boys neck…and pulled out his earring.

Roxy: What!? Why!?

Shiloh: He…was talking about Sunshine Roxy.

Roxy: Saying what!?

Shiloh: He was just saying how, she didn't deserve to be at that school anyways and…just stiff I don't want to repeat.

Roxy: Are you fucking serious!?

Shiloh: Yes Roxy.

Roxy: I'm really sorry baby. Don't mind that mother fucker, he's just a bitch. Do you want me to come over? Do you need me?

Shiloh: I can't I'll get in trouble.

Roxy: Well just blame everything on me. I'm on the way.

Shiloh: Okay and Roxy?

Roxy: Yes babe?

Shiloh:…..nvm.

Roxy: What is it?

Shiloh: It's too much to say in a text message. I'll just wait until I see you.

Roxy: Okay. Be there soon.

Hey guys thanks for reading! Please review! I've lost you guys! I know the book is long but hang in there with me we don't have much longer! ;)