Chapter 35: Legally Blonde

I'd gotten to Kyla's a bit earlier than expected. I was antsy, and various squeals that carried throughout the house told me if I stayed there any longer I'd have to smack the Cheertarded girls I was forced to call my step sisters.

Really, what did I do to deserve such torment in the form of Madison and Sherry?

I walked in the house; not bothering to knock as I knew her parents wouldn't be home. Kyla always told me when I came over to just walk right in and vice versa.

There was a strange aroma in the air from the direction of the kitchen, but knowing my best friend she probably tried to mimic Eddie's Million Dollar Cook Off again.

I took notice that Spencer's door was [thankfully] closed as I traipsed down the hall to the uncharacteristically half opened door.

"Kyla I can't find my calc book, did I leave it he- what the hell?"

No. This wasn't happening.

"Oh no, not you. I thought we had this place exterminated."

Derailed was the plan to forget by her mere presence. She was visibly not ok with me being within 500 feet of her, let alone the 10 that separated us. But regardless, I was going to get through this immensely awkward situation. With flying colors no less.

"Sandy?" I said hoping to lighten the mood.

"Satan?" she replied with more venom than a rattlesnake.

Well that didn't work out well. Oh well, onward!

"No, Danny. Danny Zucco."

She looked at me appraisingly, "I should have known by that ridiculous jacket."

I checked out my ensemble, an older leather jacket covered my simple 'Talk Nerdy To Me' tee, "Bite me, this jacket rocks." A quick comeback that I couldn't resist popped into my head, "Can't say the same for your fugly vest though."

Her face contorted in confusion, "I'm not wearing a-" realization dawned, "HEY! No Regina George references!"

"Well if the size 5 fits..." I shrugged.

"Aren't you supposed to be kissing some major ass right now Davies?" she spat with a scoff and a glare.

Now entering the stadium, Cliff Pant-one.
Pintone.

"I thought...I had?"

Insert raise of a single of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows, "How? Your little commercial?"

"Well yeah, I mean. Duh? I sang in front of the entire world for you. How is that not kissing major ass?"

Honestly, I knew it wasn't enough. But it was all I could think to do. I still had every intention of going to the school about what I'd done as well that coming week.

She laughed; but it was hollow and unfunny. Not at all like the genuine laugh I'd come to know through the years. Turning away from me, she walked towards the window and stared out into the neighborhood; resentment marred her beautiful features. A pang in my heart made me ill to know that I was the cause.

"You released a sex tape of me; you lied to me; you made me fall in love with you and then broke my heart in half." She shook her head and turned back to face me; undiluted hatred seeped from her ice cold eyes, "You aren't even close to getting back into my good graces."

I clenched my jaw, knowing she was completely right and yet still feeling as though I was getting all of the blame. Sure, I knew I was the majority share holder in this, but there were other events and people that led to it…right?

"As I recall you did three fourths of those things to me first."

"Well I'm not moving back." After a pause to look out the window again, her eyes returned to mine. "And I'm not forgiving you."

Her voice was so faint, vulnerable that I couldn't help it when I stepped closer to her, just one step.

"Then why are you here?" It was an equally quiet voice, but when something clicked it raised. "And where the hell is Kyla? I'm going to kill her."

"She's downstairs getting me chocolate popcorn. And I'm here visiting."

"Chocolate popcorn? You're so weird..." I said with a shiver.

Seriously, who eats that?

She chuckled; actually somewhat entertained, "Says the girl who is secretly in love with Bon Jovi."

My face burned with embarrassment. I knew that'd come bite me in the ass eventually.

"Well it's not really a secret after that video."

"Neither is my birthmark. Or my Tattoo." She added the tattoo bit as an afterthough.

"Interesting placement for that by the way."

Trying to appear less than amused (but failing miserably), "I'll assume that by interesting you mean sexy."

I smirked, "Been reading my thesaurus?"

"Yeah, that one that has my name written inside a thousand hearts on the cover." She grinned.

My jaw dropped. The audacity of that girl!

"It does not!"

Really, it doesn't.

"Fine," she shrugged. "Nine hundred and ninety nine times."

I scowled at her. Of all the nerve…

"God you're such a smartass, how was I ever attracted to you?"

"I could remind you." Flirtatiousness oozed, and as she realized what had just slipped from her luscious lips her eyes bugged out. "No! Away from me bad thoughts!"

"Why Spencer Carlin, I do believe you just propositioned me." Slowly I sauntered towards her. A devilish glint took home in my eye, "I might just have to take you up on that."

Her eyes, if possible, went wider and she started to back away. She seemed almost frightened.

"Hey wait! No!" she'd backed herself into Kyla's desk and I was right in front of her. She was trapped. "Ashley Davies. Get your perfect lips away from mine!"

I dragged my gaze from her pouty mouth torturously back to her deep blue orbs, "I'm sorry, we have to accept your first response." I brought my lips a breath away from hers and whispered, "And that was, 'Stop talking, ok? And just kiss me you fool.'"

"I refuse!" she squeaked and threw her hands up to block my descent. Her eyes were screwed shut, "Where the hell is Kyla?! I'm going to kill her!"

"Spencer what the hell are you doing?" I mumbled against her soft skin.

"Hiding from you. Because in the Buffster's universe when people are as hot as you, they are usually demons!" she opened her eyes, looking every bit adorable. "Just ask Xander!"

I stepped away, willing to give her some space. Knowing she needed it in fact.

"Xander's not here, so you'll just have to do a thorough search yourself. I'll lock the door and you can strip me down and have your naughty, naughty way with me."

But that didn't mean I wasn't going to keep going full steam ahead with my lines. Why should I? They were having a, if nothing else, comical effect on her.

"I'll pretend that I was not tempted by that and ask you to leave." She sighed and looked away. "Please leave....your clothes at the door."

She'd muttered the last part and I had almost missed it.

Almost.

I shrugged my shoulders again, "If that's what you really want..."

Another devious little plot popped into my head when I walked towards the door. I saw a pen sitting on Kyla's nightstand though, so I grabbed it and made sure she was at least partially watching before I dropped it in that oh so subtle way.

"Oh no, I think I dropped something on the floor that I need to pick up."

I proceeded to do the Bend and Snap. Yes, that's right. It worked too as her eyes popped again and her jaw fell. A bit of drool puddled at the corner too, I'm sure.

"Oh damn you." She growled out and walked towards the door herself.

I thought she was going to leave, but when she shut and locked the door instead I backed away slightly; completely confused.

"Usually leaving requires one to actually...leave the room."

"Well leaving requires me to have all of my body parts with me. Internal organs and such." She turned back to face me, a certain degree of sadness in her eyes, "And I couldn't really leave without my heart."

I swallowed thickly, not really liking the direction of the conversation. Or the look she was giving me. "Do you really want it back?"

"Yeah, and I see right where I left it."

She sexily slithered towards me, abruptly stopped, and popped out a bend and snap of her own.

"Uh...er...um..."

What I wanted to say was, 'DO IT AGAIN!'

"That's what I thought Davies."

She walked out of the room, clearly satisfied with herself. That smug little…

My brain finally kicked back in and I yelled for her, "Spencer!"

She stuck her head back through the doorway, "Is this where you dramatically run toward with me begging for one last chance?"

"Do you want me to?"

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

"No. I want you to burn in hell."

Well then…

Fully coming into the room she stopped in front of me and looked me dead in the eyes. "I want you to get out my mind and my heart. I want you to understand that I don't understand anything anymore. I want you to see that I can't breathe without you but that I can't be anywhere near you."

That shattering noise you may have heard? Yeah, that was my heart. Once again, shattered; and yet was beating so incredibly fast I felt like I was going to die right there.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say, because I said everything I felt and still feel in the video. I just...ugh. I just want you to know that I'm giving up my chance at USC. I'm going to go to the school with what I did. It just doesn't matter anymore. You do, your reputation does. And even though I don't like the chick, Taylor was an innocent party too. She didn't deserve it...entirely."

I'd said it all in practically one breath and she looked at me, stunned.

"Man. You're a freak." She shook her head and walked towards Kyla's bed.

I really did want to know where the hell she was, I knew she planned this and I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but I focused on the conversation at hand.

"In your opinion I always have been."

"Yes well it didn't stop me from having very vivid sex dreams about you."

I think my favorite part about that was she was completely nonchalant about it.

"That was hot, by the way."

"Oh jesus. I forgot you were freaking Janet. AHH!" she covered her face and dropped to the bed. Not even a second later though, she shot back up. "Holy fucking shit, look over there! What in the hell is that?!"

Rolling my eyes, I sighed, "I'm not Kia."

"Oh look. It's me." I was suddenly aware of her close proximity to and the intensity of which she leered at me.

"I triple dog dare you Davies." She whispered.

Another thick swallow, "To what? What do you want Carlin?"

"If you don't know by now," she moved in slightly. "You are the damn dumbest smart kid I know."

How my heart didn't explode in that moment I'll never know. What I did know though, was Spencer Carlin was so close, her pants of breath were harshly sweet on my lips. I couldn't think straight, so I did what I do best.

"Well there are theories about that..."

Ruined the moment.

She pushed me back roughly, but kept a tight hold on my jacket. "Oh my god. Would you just fucking kiss me already and make this season finale material?!"

Oh yeah, that's right. I had her beggin' for it.

"If you insist." I smirked.

"You would smirk." She glared at me. "Whore."

I cupped her face and gently stroked my thumb over her right cheek.

"I love it when you talk dirty."

Tentatively we leaned in, almost agonizingly slow in pace. We were literally a hair away from making that delicious contact we both so desperately craved.

"SPENCER, YOUR POPCORN IS DONE!"

God I was going to kill her.

"Hmm..." Spencer pondered out loud. "Hot, sexy kiss with an amazing girl or chocolate popcorn?"

She wasn't really considering this right? It was an obvious choice wasn't it?

Wasn't it?!

"Don't you dare say popcorn..." I grumbled.

"But I'm hungry." She pouted cutely.

Damn her.

"Eat me."

If that didn't work, what would with her?!

She looked completely torn about what to do, but I definitely saw that gulp and the subtle licking of her lips.

"I'll be right back. Do not move."

Jaw. Dropped.

In disbelief I watched as she, quite quickly, tried escaped from the room.

"Spencer Carlin if you leave this room I swear to god I will..." I had to think of something good. Freaky Friday streamed through my brain, "I will KILL myself!"

My cheeks puffed out like a chipmunks as I held my breath.

"How long can the human body go without oxygen? Hopefully long enough for this."

She left. She actually left! UGH! Again I screamed [in my head] damn that girl!

Letting out the breath I'd been holding, I let myself fall to the floor and closed my eyes. I heard someone run back into the room, and since there wasn't a girly scream, I knew it wasn't Kyla.

"Hey!" she poked me with her foot. "Wake up!"

I kept my eyes closed.

"I think I need mouth to mouth."

"But you're talking. Doesn't that mean you're breathing? In first aid that sexy little firefighter said that mouth to mouth was only to be used in a non-breathing situation..."

Internally I had to roll my eyes. She was definitely a natural blonde if she didn't understand what I was hinting at.

"Telepathy. It just looks like my lips are moving. Quick, I'm turning blue."

The sound of thumping feet and a small 'oof!' from Spencer told me it was Kyla about to perform CPR.

"Kyla get the HELL off me!" my eyes shot open and I pushed her off before she could get too close.

I sat up and shot a look at the blonde goddess that was fighting to hold in her laughter.

"Ky can we have a minute?"

The nerdy girl I called my best friend looked up to her sister and nodded, "If you promise not to have sex on my bed."

Spencer held up her right hand for Kyla, "I promise."

She missed the crossed fingers behind her back. Sneaky, sneaky Miss Carlin.

"I think Veruca needs an Everlasting Gobstopper..."

"Spencer!"

"What?!" the blonde innocently asked.

Kyla turned to me while rolling her eyes, "Ash, do you promise not to have sex with my sister on my bed? And no finger crossing."

She sent a pointed look to Spencer who quickly averted her gaze.

"Yeah, yeah." I said standing up and dusting off my butt. "For five minutes. Anything after that is off the table."

"Ashley?"

I turned my head towards Spencer, "Yes'm?"

"Why don't we go to my room?"