Once one has kissed a cadaver's forehead, there always remains something of it on the lips, an infinite bitterness, an aftertaste of nothingness that nothing can erase.

Gustave Flaubert

.

.

Chapter 34 - Beautiful Cadaver

After Aro left, Bella was bereft.

She began to pace, padding back and forth on the cold stone floor in her bare feet.

She caught her reflection in an antique mirror and it startled her. No longer did she have her hideous Glasgow grin that made her shun mirrors. No instead she was breathtaking, and it was strangely unsettling. Funny how when you're growing up, the girl in the mirror becomes your friend, smiling at you when you're happy, crying with you when you are down. That friend was gone. She no longer existed and in her place was this startling facsimile… a dark beauty with blood red eyes.

Her body seemed foreign as well. Instead of short stubby fingers, she had long, slender, conic-shaped ones. Her lightly freckled skin was now like white porcelain and her teeth were perfectly straight and perfectly white. She looked like a supermodel that had been airbrushed.

She didn't recognize herself.

She had always wanted to be beautiful, but it wasn't quite the way she had imagined. It was almost grotesque.

Bitterly, she turned away.

This room was like a dungeon. She couldn't stay there, so she left.

In the blink of an eye, she was out on the street, her newfound speed making her do a double take.

She spotted Demetri watching her when she left the castle, but he didn't follow. After all, she wasn't a prisoner. She had been fed, so he must have known she wouldn't kill anybody. However, he probably alerted Aro.

Bella didn't care anymore. She ran out into the night with nowhere to go, sprinting through the fields and the trees, the full moon beaming down on her. No longer could she feel her heart pumping blood through her veins, or breathe the fresh, cool midnight air. She was an empty husk.

Yet there was myriad of new senses. She could smell and hear almost everything, from the mice and rabbits scampering through the brushes, to the clouds above her softly rumbling, making tiny sizzling sounds. And what was really fascinating was that she could distinguish it, break it down, categorize it, muffling out annoying sounds and smells so she could focus on something particular, deciphering if an animal was pregnant, or if it was sick and dying.

And of course, she could smell their blood, almost taste it.

When morning came, she found herself on a beach, looking out at the ocean. Without thinking, she waded out to the breakers. She wanted the water to wash her clean.

However, there was no way to wash the blood from her hands. She was tainted. She might as well accept it.

Numbly, she headed back to the shop.

..

"Oh good grief, Aro said that to you?" Marcus asked Bella when she got back. He was sitting in the chair with his feet up on the table, reading The Da Vinci Code. "He probably believes it too. He's so stubborn sometimes. I suppose this means we're going to have to take drastic measures."

Bella wasn't sure what he meant by that, and in truth, she didn't want to find out, so she tried to change the subject. "Are you enjoying your book?"

"No it's rubbish," Marcus said, tossing it in the trash. "So let's talk about you and Aro."

Bella cringed, shaking her head, taking a seat next to him. "Please, Marcus, don't push us together. It's just too painful. I don't even know why you're so insistent?"

"I would think that would be obvious."

"No."

"I see a very powerful bond between you and Aro."

"Are you saying we're soul mates?"

Marcus cocked his head. "Let me put it this way. I see both of you as potential mates."

"Edward told me I was his soulmate."

"Yes, and both of you had quite a strong bond. It's gone now though. You see, the mating pull is not an unstoppable destiny. You have free will, and you can bond with more than one person. However, it is a great gift that doesn't come often. You should grab it when it hits you. You must feel it, don't you?"

Bella did feel it. There wasn't anything else she'd rather do then go find Aro and fall into his arms. Unfortunately, there was a part of her that felt she didn't deserve happiness. "I don't know."

Marcus eyed her skeptically. "So how do you like being undead."

"It's unsettling."

"Yes, it is." He laughed. "Welcome to the party. You're now one of us. Dinner will be at noon, a week from Thursday. You might want to bring a towel because it's a grisly bloodbath."

"I don't think so," Bella said. "The next time I feed, I'm going to go hunt for animals."

"Suit yourself. It's very unsatisfying though, not to mention it tastes awful. But I must warn you, if you deny your true nature for too long, you'll turn into a ghoul."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I've heard that's bogus."

"From who, Carlisle?"

"Edward."

"Oh, so Muttonhead is now a cache of knowledge, is he? I hate to tell you this, but it's true. I've seen it."

"Yeah, but aren't ghouls like a totally different specious? Aren't they extinct?"

"Yes, true ghouls are. But we share the same venom. In fact, ghouls were the first carriers. They passed the venom onto us."

"So how could you turn into one?"

Marcus shook his head. "Oh Isabella, you're so naïve. I don't think you realize exactly what venom is."

"Then tell me."

"Venom is a lifeform of its own. Yes, it mimics and metamorphosizes into the host it inhabits, but it is a lifeform. A lifeform that needs blood and energy to survive."

"A parasite?"

"Yes and no. I mean, yes it feeds off you when it first takes over, and yes we definitely have a symbiotic connection. But what the venom really does is use the body like a shell or a house. The great Chinese biologist, Yi Xang, from the Manchu Coven, was the first to really investigate it. He determined that venom is a single cell lifeform that creates an immortal shell. Here let me show you."

Marcus jumped up and grabbed a teacup saucer from the shelf, and then rolled up his sleeve, baring his wrist. He then slit his vein, using his fingernail and let a few drops of venom drip onto the saucer. "Take a look at this."

Pulling out a lighter, he moved the flame close to the venom and in turn, the venom started to move away from it, actually quite rapidly, then jumped up on his hand and slithered up his sleeve. "You see, it knows where it's safe. Of course, it doesn't have any real intelligence, nor is it sentient by any means, but it lives and multiplies, and creates these environments from which it can survive. Have you ever wondered how vampire limbs can survive and move on their own? It's the venom."

Bella was flabbergasted. "So we're nothing but hosts for a diabolical parasite?"

"Absolutely." Marcus chuckled. "And because of this, we have to be very careful. Venom doesn't really care about us. We can do whatever we want as long as we feed it. However, if you deprive the venom of what it really wants, it will eventually attack the host. This is what I mean by a ghoul. A ghoul is someone whose brain has been taken over by the venom and now has become a mindless killing machine."

"But Carlisle-"

"Carlisle is starting to feel the effects. He's having memory lapses, which is one of the first symptoms."

"How do you know?"

"Aro told me after he read Carlisle's mind. Of course, Carlisle is trying to fight it. He's been drinking human blood from the hospital to see if he can stave it off, and fortunately, he's had some success. In fact, I believe if anyone can find a cure for this it will be Carlisle. He's been studying it for nearly two-hundred and fifty years."

"So do you think he'll be okay?"

"I doubt it. Carlisle's been able to slow it down, but not stop it completely, and of course, he'd rather die than kill a human life, so eventually, he may be lost to us. He promised Aro that when he starts to lose control, he will come back here so we can kill him."

Bella was horrified. "Does anyone else know?"

"Esme knows, and she's worried sick, but they don't want to worry the others."

"That's a little unfair isn't it?"

"Well, the other coven members have lots of time before this will affect them."

Bella was stunned. In fact, if she was still human she might have gotten teary-eyed, but instead, she just felt a deep sense of loss. A part of her loved Carlisle.

"So go ahead and drink animal blood if you can stomach it," Marcus told her. "However, keep in mind, you won't be able to do it forever."

"That's what you meant by Carlisle having problems of his own."

"Yes."

"I wish I had known," Bella said. But then, she did know. Jean had told her. "Why does it have to be human blood? I mean, Piccola doesn't have to drink dog blood, does she?"

"Actually, she does," Marcus said. "Renata brings her dogs from the pound that are going to be put to sleep."

"But Jean's rosebush-"

"Now that's a mystery," Marcus said, pointing his finger. "I've never seen venom inhabit a plant like that, and it's very odd. Carlisle was quite keen to study it. Of course, the original ghouls weren't just blood drinkers, they would also eat the hypothalamus from their victims, so venom does mutate."

Bella shuddered. "Ghouls ate brains?"

"Yes, they were just like zombies…ugly zombies. Thank God we no longer have to deal with that. But like I said, if anyone can find a cure, it will be Carlisle. Aro tells me you want to go live with the Cullens."

Bella shook her head. Just the thought of going back and having to deal with Edward made her cringe. She had considered traveling around and becoming a nomad. The urge was strong. However, after her long run last night, she decided to wait. "If you want me as your guard, I will stay, Master."

Marcus laughed. "Is that so? Well, I must say I rather like the company, and I think I will enjoy tormenting Aro a bit. You do know Caius will insist on training you."

Bella shrugged. "That's fine."

"Oh my dear, you have no idea, do you? Caius is a sadistic cunt. He will run you ragged and beat the shit out of you. But he knows how to train guards. I'll tell him you're ready to start tomorrow."

"Geeze, thanks, Marcus."

"Don't mention it, my dear. You know I have only your best interests at heart."

"Whatever."

.

.

I know, it seems like this story is going forever. However, we are heading to the conclusion. I want to thank the readers who have stuck with me this long.