Disclaimer: I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

Dreaming

Sonea settled herself in the rocking chair and took the baby from Ishvanna's arms.

"You may go now, I will feed Karine and put her to bed myself."

Ishvanna made the quaint bob she had adopted since becoming Karine's nursemaid and left the bedchamber, quietly shutting the door behind her. Sonea loosened her clothing and made Karine comfortable. It was very pleasant, she thought, sitting in this rocking chair, with Karine nursing contentedly. It gives me time to think. Others might find it strange that she had chosen to feed the baby herself, rather than employ a wet nurse, but Sonea didn't feel obliged to follow all the customs of the Houses. She felt it very important for a mother to feed her own baby. We have this very tranquil time together, to get to know each other, to bond, she thought.

The rocking chair had been a gift from one of the Healers, and Sonea was very grateful for it. She had positioned it so that she was facing Akkarin's portrait; she could look at it easily and also let Karine see it. She wasn't too sure if the child could actually see the picture clearly yet, but it probably wouldn't be too long and Sonea was determined that Karine should know her father very well indeed.

Sonea stared at the portrait. It had been painted in the year that Akkarin had become High Lord and showed him, dressed in his robes, standing in one of the rooms in the Residence. He looks so young, she thought. It's hard to believe that the Guild, where so many magicians were quite a lot older, would have elected such a young man to lead them. His power and strength must have frightened them. She continued to look closely at the painting. It was a very good likeness and she remembered those times when she lived in the Residence and had been forced to meet with him on a daily basis. For a long time, she was only truly aware of a tall figure, dressed in black, who appeared quietly and often unexpectedly. She had made it a rule not to look at him more than she needed to and never to examine his features so there were no details in her memory-picture of him.

For a long time, I didn't even know he was good-looking, she thought ruefully. I simply wished never to be in his company and when I had to be, I wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

The baby gurgled and Sonea spent some time cuddling her and settling her down to nurse again. She looked at Karine. Now she was a few weeks older, her features were becoming clearer and she was going to be the image of her father. She already had his straight dark hair and his eyes. She was long-limbed for her age too, Vinara had commented on it the last time she had examined her. Sonea was very pleased, as she was not keen on her own features, regarding them as rather ordinary and she had always wished to be taller.

Sonea returned her gaze to the portrait. The High Lord. Once those three little words had created a feeling of terror in her. I baited him, she thought, trying to find the most wounding things I could think of so that he would never think of me other than as an enemy. And through it all, he remained calm, distant even, and did not rise to my verbal attacks, nor retaliate in any way. Sonea made an exasperated noise. I never really thought about it at the time, but apart from taking me away from Rothen and making me his Novice, he did nothing to injure me at all!

Then, one day, my mind began to see him differently. I don't know when it was or why it occurred, it was all happening deep in my mind and I was unaware of it. My brain must have registered just how handsome he was and how compelling those eyes were and how attractively mysterious that black-robed figure was. She suddenly realised where her thoughts were taking her and began to think very strongly of fast flowing waterfalls. It would not be good for Akkarin to listen to these thoughts; he already had a tendency to be conceited at times!

It must have been before he let me into the secret of black magic, she thought, because I was ready and willing to learn about it, and I wouldn't have done so, if I still feared him.

She began to dream about what might have been, if she had realised a lot sooner that she found Akkarin attractive. After all, it was really not all that surprising. He was only in his early thirties and she almost twenty, it wasn't as if he had been a typical High Lord, a man in his fifties, sixties or even seventies.

"How might it have happened?" she asked Karine. "Perhaps he came home late one evening and needed help with something. Perhaps I would have needed to hand him something and our fingers touched or I had something in my eye and he had to stand very close to me to take it out." Karine looked at her with unblinking eyes as if she was enjoying the conversation.

Sonea's brain went on and on, thinking up various little scenes, which would have meant they needed to touch or stand very close together. "Then we would look into each other's eyes and somehow we would both have known. It would be inevitable that we would kiss and once we kissed, there would have been no stopping what happened next!"

Sonea pictured Akkarin in his voluminous black silk robes, like a gorgeous present, and how much she wanted to unwrap him. Her face grew hot as she mentally undid the laces and hooks, pushing off layers and layers of silk until the powerful Warrior's body was exposed to her gaze, like a warm marble statue lying on a bed of black silk.

She suddenly laughed softly, "It's a good job you can't tell what I am thinking, Karine! You are much too young, but one day, I'll tell you all about your father and I."

Sonea continued to rock gently and think about her lover. All the time she had known him, he had been decisive, thinking ahead, planning a specific course of action to deal with the problems he faced. And he had been successful, right up until the time the Ichani had unexpectedly got his knife inside their shield. Now, because of her, he was trapped in a tiny environment, a few rooms and a garden, completely alone except for her and she was unable to be with him as much as she would have liked.

How can he bear it? she wondered. He says he is happy. He says he had accepted death and now finds his continued existence an unexpected bonus, but is that really true? I really need to find a way to get him out of there and back into the world where he belongs.

Later that day, after Karine had been laid in her cot to sleep, with Ishvanna to look after her, Sonea went to her bedchamber and set the magical locks, ready for her visit to Akkarin. She followed her usual routine, a warm, scented bath, a vigorous brushing of her wildly curly hair, and the choice of a new gown to wear. Then she lay down and closed her eyes, sending her mind on its familiar journey to Akkarin.

He was not in the guest room, which surprised her a little. She moved towards the door to see if he were in the garden. As she did so, a tall, dark figure slowly rose from a chair in the shadows by the corner. To Sonea's surprise, she was confronted by the High Lord, fully robed, with the familiar dispassionate look on his face.

"Good evening Sonea," he said unsmilingly.

Without thinking, she blurted, "Good evening High Lord!" before stopping with her hand over her mouth.

"I'm afraid your waterfall had some interruption in its flow today. Your thoughts were very loud and extremely entertaining at times," Akkarin said, a slight hint of amusement in his voice. "So, here is your gift. Are you going to unwrap it?"