"We now return to 'Ducktective: The Movie," the television blared loudly.
"YES!" Mabel cheered as she leaned on the floor, sprawled out on a pillow off the lazy boy chair next to her as her pig sprawled next to her. Dipper, who had taken to the sofa, sat, cross-legged as he poured over the journal, with his own note-pad in his hand. He glared at his sister's loud burst, but said nothing. "Yuki! It's back on!" Mabel shouted to the hallway. A moment later as the programming on the television continued, Yuki poked his head through the door.
"Indeed. I still do not understand the appeal in watching a fowl conduct investigative behavior," he noted.
"Oink," Waddles noted.
"Shhh," Mabel pointed to him, and turned back to watch, "it's the middle of the movie."
"Quack, quack," Ducktective the duck, a white feathered bird with a single cap atop his head uttered to a mole standing before him, both overlooking a tall cliff. At the bottom of the screen, subtitles appeared, saying, 'Mole-iarty, this game of cat and mouse needs to end'.
The mole, wearing a long black coat with a large monocle before its eye, uttered a series of squeaks and snorts, which were translated as, 'The game only ends until the tail of either are caught, my old nemisis. Soon, all fair will be... fowl'.
"QUACK!" Ducktective quacked, and then lunged at the mole. The subtitles only read as 'You've gone too far!'.
"I am most perplexed," Yuki admitted.
"Then you're thinking too hard," Mabel rolled her eyes as she grinned, eating up every moment of the blockbuster movie that came out two years ago.
"But how do we truly know what the duck is saying? I... is there a psychic who can translate duck and mole into English? Human technology and physiological adaptation must have advanced much more than I thought," Yuki scratched his head, removing his cap and letting his leaf-like extensions breathe.
"You're definetly thinking too much about this," Dipper added in a mutter.
"I take it that's an expression," Yuki added, shaking his head as he started to turn away, "I do not know how one 'thinks too hard'." From behind Yuki, Grunkle Stan shoved past and walked into the room, scooping up the remote from Mabel's cupped hands.
"Hey!" she protested as Stan turned around and clicked at the TV, where the movie was replaced by a news broadcast.
"Shush, this is actually something important," he told her with a grumble, "Soos! Wendy! Get in here!" he added with a loud call to the hallway.
As the two called stepped in, along with Yuki and the six stood around the TV, a newscast by a tall, sharp and mildly curvy looking woman with long, wavy brown hair began.
"Good morning Gravity Falls, I'm Shandra Jimenez with an update on the most talked about event this year so far," she stood before the repairing building of the convention center, where in the distance, a large man with red hair helped lift bags of concrete to workers on scaffolding next to him, "the disastrous failure of the Gravity Falls Business Convention, held by local effluent family Northwests."
"Wait, was that filmed?" Dipper gasped, replacing his seat with his journal and notepad.
"No way dude," Wendy replied to him, staring at the TV, "no one cared about that thing until all your stuff went down." Dipper eyed her next to him, and bit his lip, pointedly looking away after a second.
"While not many of us truly cared about the events within," Shandra spoke candidly, "half way through the day, a calamity stroke, and the visiting representatives lives were put at risk. That is, until the culprit of the attacks, one 'Graupner Kinley', "a flash image of the Warlock, now in orange prisoner jumpsuit as he held up his innmate ID, "was arrested and put behind bars."
"Yeah!" Mabel cheered happily, leaping into the air. From next to her, Dipper, Soos, and Yuki all gave her high-fives in regards to their performance. Mabel allowed Waddles also a high five, which he bopped with his nose.
"Quiet," Stan told them his eyes fixed, "this part," he pointed.
"Yet new light has been casted onto the events- that Mister Kinley was not alone in this course against the convention," Shandra explained, and the TV flashed to a recording of police leaving the Gravity Falls station, along with a dark skinned man in a bow tie, "as an investigation has undergone the whole event. We were able to speak with one Omir Steindorf, who has taken a personal interest in the whole situation."
"As it stands, the businesses who attended will not seek to expand their companies into this area, and for good reason," Omir said to the camera, his voice authoritative and commanding as he looked around to the various microphones, and a single misplaced turkey baster, "if people like Mister Kinley are able to roam at will and cause the amount of financial destruction as he did, there is no reasonable way this town will ever see further improvement."
"Whoa," Dipper gasped, looking to his sister, "that's pretty harsh."
"But what troubles me more is this," Steindorf continued to speak, looking at the camera, "is that this objective of his, of Graupner's, was far too well organized for one man. We are under the suspicion that two are involved, if not more. Until we come to terms with this mystery and justice is delivered, I advise any and all to stay out of Gravity Falls. It is a dangerous town."
"Oh... wow," Wendy gasped, her mouth falling open.
"Stay out of Gravity Falls?" Soos repeated, "but, like, no one really get's hurt... right?" he asked around, to which no reply came.
"Mister Steindorf, the owner of the multi-billion dollar industrial corporation 'Steindorf and Co'," Shandra was back on screen, walking around the site, examining the wreckage, "has stated that he will be overseeing the investigation personally. The Steindorf Co will also be overseeing the re-construction of the convention center; a joint effort by the Northwest family. Remember- report any and all suspicious activity to the county police. Stay safe, Gravity Falls. Up next, the weather report- hot days are ahead! Dress for the sun!"
Grunkle Stan clicked the remote power button, and his television turned off, tossing the remote to the side. Ringing silence and the dying static buzz of the television shyly reverberated in their ears, until Stan sighed and put a hand to his eyes.
"This isn't going to be too good for business around here," Stan admitted with a sigh.
"I think the shack should be the least of our concerns," Dipper reminded his Grunkle, shaking his head.
"That's Manor to you!" Grunkle Stan whipped around, pointing at him. "And I'm not talking about the building, or heck, making money here," Grunkle Stan said with a warning. "I'm talking about our safety."
"You're... really?" Wendy folded her arms.
"This is a new side to your, Stan," Yuki said with a small smile.
"Quiet! Look, I believe that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger," Stan said around, holding a hand to Soos' and Dipper's shoulder, "but to get stronger you actually have to survive first!"
"Right, there's that little important part," Soos nodded in agreement.
"What are you saying then?" Dipper asked.
"Well, since the Gleefuls walked out of town, it's been quieter around here. With this Graupner character busting up entire buildings just to scare people away from town, things are getting dangerous," Stan told them, "just be careful, okay? I know we like taking a risk here or there, but really. No more running off to fight a monster unless we're all together or you know exactly what you're up against."
"Really?" Mabel asked, "wait, you're in on this too?" she asked Grunkle Stan, her eyes widening.
"If we think it's dangerous, yeah, I'm there," Stan told them with a grunt. Mabel bounced over to him, clutching her arms around his sides, applying an ungodly amount of pressure. "OW! MABEL! SWEETHEART!" Mabel let go, her wide smile from ear to ear, and Grunkle Stan just laughed. "God, you remind me of me."
"I'll do a better job at shaving my body hair than you!" Mabel admitted.
"Well, if there isn't anything else I didn't want to hear from you lot," Grunkle Stan shook his head and clapped Yuki's shoulder, "Soos, you and Yuki are going to work on my car engine next."
"Aw, cool! El Diablo is getting a re-haul!" Soos pumped the air as Yuki groaned.
"NO! Just the engine," Stan whipped around and pointed at Soos, "no decals. Ever."
"Staying old-school classy, got it, Mister Pines," Soos nodded. Waddles squealed, and gnawed on the carpet edge.
"Yay," Yuki said, a bitter tone to his voice, "more chances to make my hands filthy with combustion engines. Just what I wanted."
"Glad you're excited," Stan told him, patting him on his back as he lead them away.
"That was my first attempt at sarcasm," Yuki muttered as he left the room with the two.
"I feel kind of bad for those two," Mabel admitted, "they were just as important three days ago."
"Yeah," Dipper nodded as he glanced to his sister," they aught to get a break."
"Dude, you know Stan," Wendy shrugged as she leaned on the borders of the doorway, watching the three leave, "if it works, use it until it drops."
"But without those two, we may never have caught Graupner," Mabel argued, "they should get a little more praise."
"Sometimes, I think the only praise Stan gives out is when he's beaten by someone," Wendy suggested," and unless Stan decides to start throwing punches at Yuki, he'll never fight back," she informed them with a sigh. "Then again, at least you guys did totally rock."
"Aw, shucks," Mabel turned her face away, waving a hand for Wendy to stop the compliments in her mimicry of coyness. Dipper just shrugged and walked over to his seat, lifting the journal into his lap with his notepad.
"What? Dipper the brave isn't getting a say on this?" Wendy asked, on the edge of laughing. Mabel also was shocked. Dipper just shrugged again, and peered into the journal. "Ohhh, already onto something more important," Wendy nodded, creeping over to Dipper, who tensed up a she walked over. He slowly pushed the note-pad out of sight as she stood next to him. "What's the next thing?" she continued, "proving if time-travel is possible?"
"Uh," Dipper looked between her and Mabel. With a burst of clarity, Mabel understood Dipper's fear- there was something he didn't want to show to her. Another time, Mabel may have exploited him for a giggle, but not today.
"Uh, hey Wendy," Mabel blurted out, catching the red-head's attention, "could you be super-mega-awesome and check the mail for us? Got a sneaking suspicion we got... stuff."
"Yeah, sure dude," Wendy shrugged and walked off, turning back for two 'finger-gun' pointers at Dipper and Mabel before vanishing down the hall. Alone for the moment, Mabel sighed and fell back to the floor, where Waddles strode next to her and sat again. Dipper had also sighed, but huffed afterwards, and pushed the journal and notepad back into his face.
"Still looking for answers?" Mabel asked as she pulled the tossed aside remote closer to her.
"And getting no where," he grumbled, picking at his nose pointedly.
"Dang dude," Mabel crossed her arms, puffing out her lip as she thought, "who would have thought that some of our next mysteries would be about our friends?" Dipper said nothing, and Mabel continued as she absentmindedly patted Waddles. "I guess it's one of those weird things that happens only as you get older, you know? Mood swings here and there, hair starts growing in stupid places, people begin to expect adult-results but don't treat you like adults," Mabel listed and sighed, "and now mysteries of people we thought we once knew."
"It's just annoying," Dipper grumbled, slapping shut the journal in a loud clap. "I've been close with Wendy for, like, ever. Okay, so we weren't pen-pals or anything," Dipper tacked on and continued, "but if someone hides a secret in town, it's always crazy!"
"Soos' secret wasn't crazy," Mabel pointed. "Having bad birthday mojo seems sorta normal."
"One case is the exception, not the rule!" Dipper retorted heatedly, pushing himself from the chair, and lowering his voice as he pulled out his note-pad. "I've been making a formal list of things that Wendy could have gotten involved with."
"Dipper, c'mon-"
"First," Dipper continued, spewing out his theories in a hush, "she's gotten involved with some sort of supernatural cult, which Robbie may have been involved with. It would explain why Midian-"
"The witch," Mabel said.
"-would have been an asset to Robbie. Second, she's in league with a possible group of supernatural creatures, in a bad way."
"Isn't that basically the first?" Mabel asked as Dipper paced around her.
"Kind of. Unlike a cult, these creatures may have different ideals- like the fairies from earlier this summer. Or gnomes! What if she owes the gnomes something, and she's actually a slave to them?"
"That would be horrible!" Mabel gasped, "Jeff is a huge jerk! He'd probably force her to be his make-shift royal steed and ride her into battle. Sick man," she added with a groan.
"And then... what I'm afraid for," Dipper gulped and looked directly at Mabel as he read aloud the final possibility on the chart, to which Mabel stared at him, "possibility number three... she's not Wendy at all."
"What!?" Mabel gasped and pulled her head back.
"Think about it! Mabel, I've been thinking about some things, you know?" Dipper flipped several pages, and began to read out observations, "she doesn't hang out with her friends any more. Mabel, remember last summer? She always hung out with her friends!"
"She told me that she had a falling out with them," Mabel defended.
"Maybe, but Mabel, I was thinking about when we got Tambry in here," Dipper said to her, "she freaked out. Like Tambry was going to come alive and attack her for some reason. Why would Wendy ever act like that?" Dipper asked.
"Hey... you know, she acted the same way when I told her Grenda and Candy were coming over," Mabel blinked and pointed to him.
Dipper gasped and scribbled down her note. "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"I dunno! It happened weeks ago, and I didn't think of it until just now dude," Mabel shrugged, "I don't constantly think about the world of me and Wendy, unlike you," Mabel retorted. Dipper's face grew red and he stumbled for words.
"I don't- Mabel that's-" he cleared his throat and continued, "not only that, she's... I think hesitant to go into town," Dipper stated, "I coulda sworn she's tried getting us to go in time to time, but I don't really have a specified date down for that one, "Dipper admitted, and the his eyes grew wide, "Ah! Then there's this!" he pointed to the list with his pencil, "I thought she was just being awesome, but winning a staring contest with a rock golem, which doesn't need to blink? No. That's weird," Dipper admitted.
"She won that contest? Wow," Mabel admitted, "that's still kind of awesome."
"If it is Wendy," Dipper reminded her, and paced back and forth again, "She didn't react in pain with that shard of the wardrobe in her back, doesn't seem to blink, and doesn't want to talk to people who know her? Mabel, what if Wendy isn't Wendy?"
"Like she's not what she seems," Mabel tagged with an air of suspicion. Her mind began to weight the evidence with her own feelings on the matter, a delicate process which took a few moments of self-deliberation. Finally she sighed, and shrugged. "It's not... impossible," Mabel said to her, "but dude, we're talking about, like, the perfect clone then or whatever. And we already ran into those robot clones! And a shapeshifter, again! What the heck-lee-doodle is there that she could be?"
Dipper watched his sister and finally rolled his eyes. "I... I don't know," he admitted, "that's where I'm getting stuck. This book has a lot inside it, but I can't seem to find anything that comes close to the evidence I have. No monsters, curses, or spells quite fit the match!"
Dipper sighed and sat back onto the chair, pushing the journal into his lap moodily and opening it. "I'm not done looking through everything though. At this rate I'll be done by tomorrow."
"And if you can't find anything that fit's Wendy's spookiness?" Mabel asked letting Waddles nibble on the edge of the remote. To this question, Dipper looked up and to her, and scoffed, looking back inside.
"I'll find out," Dipper told her.
"What if you can't?"
"I will."
"Dipper, just ask her."
"No!" he gasped.
"Why not?" Mabel demanded, wringing the remote in her hands with alternating squeezes of her hand.
"Because- because-" Dipper ran a hand over his face, up through his hair, "because would she tell me? Huh? If someone holds a secret like... well, whatever this is," Dipper shrugged and desperately darted his eyes around, unable to properly articulate the ridicule he thought, "they're not just going to tell because I asked!"
"You don't know that," Mabel argued, her calm easy and calm. "For all we know, this is just one crazy misunderstanding and she just is going through a rough patch."
"If we were anywhere else, yeah," dipper nodded his head, and then quickly shook it left to right, "but we're not anywhere else: we're in Gravity Falls."
"Bro-"
"Not only that, lets say I do ask her. She says no, nothing is going on. What happens when there's still something going on, but now she's got me on her radar?" Dipper demanded. "I'd never figure it out! Ever!"
"Hah, like she's a plane tower," Mabel chuckled, despite Dipper's glares, "beep boop, you are clear for take-off into conspiracy land."
"Mabel!"
"I know, gosh darn it, Dipper," Mabel clenched her teeth and sighed at him, "and what happens now? You just sit there, taking more notes while this gets you in a worse and worse bad mood?"
"... I'm not in a bad-"
"Mood? Harken," Mabel cupped a hand to her ear as Dipper covered his face with the journal as he peered into, "I do believe-eth I hath uncovered a falsehood!"
"Shush," he grumbled.
"Pffft, you're just angry that this is close to home, and you don't know what's going on," Mabel pointed out, and clicked on the TV. Dipper shoved the journal aside, his eyes wide and his lips pulled taught as he glared angrily at the back of his sister's head. "I can feel you staring," she told him as Ductective and Mole-iarty continued to battle on the cliff edge.
"Aren't you?" Dipper demanded, his throat sounding clenched.
"I am a little, yeah," Mabel admitted with a sad sigh, "I don't like the idea that Wendy is keeping something from us, you know?" Mabel said as she scratched Waddles' ears, "but everyone has secrets. Like Grunkle Stan did, with Stanford."
"And look how well that turned out," Dipper pointed out.
"Dude, she's helped us soo many times," Mabel propped herself and turned to stare at him, her brows furrowed. "This isn't someone we just met, like Jace or Jess, where it's okay to be suspicious. Wendy has had our back, like, a gajillion times."
To this response, Dipper's angered facade dialed down and he looked away. With the journal in his lap and a hand on his cheek, he stared at the hallway, a strong and evident mope clearly presented.
"Dude, I get you," Mabel told him, "you want to figure it out. I do too," she said as Waddles nudged Mabel with his nose anxiously. "Don't worry, buddy," she cooed to her pig, "he's just worried about his girl-friend."
"She's- Mabel!" Dipper hissed through clenched teeth as he leaned out of the chair, his face reddened again. Glancing to him, Mabel's cheeks bulged out and she guffawed until she belly laughed on the floor. Watching her roll side-to-side, Dipper growled and crossed his arms together.
"That's not funny, Mabel."
"It is a little," she jested with a grin.
"Dudes!"
"Speak of the devil," Mabel joked to Dipper as she pushed herself up, prompting Waddles to take her spot on the carpet.
"Mail's here for you," Wendy's voice echoed from the shop down the hallway.
There was news the twins hadn't been expecting. With an interested shared look, they marched out of the room, Dipper leading the charge out and towards the red-head. Walking at their careful pace, they rounded the corner and turned into the gift shop, where not one, but two women stood at the counter.
"Arline!" Dipper exclaimed, some of his weight in his heart fading away.
"Hey guys," Arline winked to Dipper with her grin as Mabel rushed forward and gave her a hug, "you two having a good recovery?" she asked, looking between them.
"Heh, considering what we dealt with, yeah," Dipper nodded gently. Mabel was less humble.
"Consider we kicked Graupner's butt you mean! I could totally go for round two! Man to girl! See what's coming to him," she added, giving the air around her speedy jabs.
"Let's not tempt danger," Arline told them, a hand on her student's shoulder, "we were lucky mister Steindorf was able to knock him down like that, otherwise we'd be dealing with two bad guys out there."
"Do you know who the other is yet?" Mabel asked her master. Arline shook her head, looking to Dipper and then Mabel.
"I was under the impression coming here that only the Warlock was the problem. Two now? I'm no longer sure what's going on," she admitted with a distant look. A small shake of her head later, she grinned and turned to Mabel. "Anyway, I'm not here to get everyone nervous."
"A little late for that, dude," Wendy chuckled as she flickered through one of her magazines.
"Good, because it means you're here to pay rent," Grunkle Stan's voice called as he stepped inside. Aside from the tone of voice, Grunkle Stan's body language was anything but inviting. His eyes squinted as he studied Arline, and his arms were folded tightly as he marched over.
"Stan," Arline nodded, "sure, I can pay for the day," she said in a passive tone.
"Great," Stan told her as he held out his hand, now behind the twins, "that'll be eight hundred."
"What!?" Arline barked, looking up from the wallet, "you're joking."
"No, I'm not," Grunkle Stan said.
"That's double what I paid yesterday!" Arline yelled, her wallet along her side.
"Wow! Isn't that a fact?" Stan informed the group around them. Ignoring the shocked faces of the twins, he looked back to Wendy and said, "ring her up."
"Uh... okay, Stan," Wendy nervously looked between the two of them. "That'll be eight hundred, ma'am," she added after a careful glance to Arline. The woman was frozen in her spot. Muscles carefully moved as the master martial artist lifted her credit card and handed it to Wendy.
"Top class resorts are worth it," Arline gritted her teeth as Wendy took the card and swiped it. "Thank you," she quietly told Wendy as she collected her card, aware that eight hundred dollars had just gone down the drain. "Well, Mabel, Dipper, here's that thing I found by the door," she said, and lowered a single post card. "If you need me, I'll be in town for the day. Gotta check things out."
"Yeah, good luck with that," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes, "you're certainly good at keeping order around here, aren't you?"
Arline whipped around and stared at him, eyes ablaze behind those circles of blue. For a moment, Dipper wanted to step aside and pull Mabel with her; as he wasn't sure if a jet of flame was about to be thrown at his grand uncle. Arline merely grinned, and nodded to him.
"At least I've taught them a thing or two about getting through the things you leave them with," she remarked as she turned and left through the door, leaving Stan spluttering and twitching angrily.
"Ohhhh, oh-ho-hoooh, so clever, huh?!" he demanded at the closed door. When no reply came, he scowled, and turned to the three pairs of eyes on him. "What? I've got a business to run, and she's been taking up one of my rooms for almost a month!"
"It's been only two and a half weeks since she got here," Wendy corrected him.
"Whatever. I'm missing prime opportunities to scam entire families with merchandise," he defended himself as he dusted off a series of bobble heads on the desk, "which is the real money maker. So I'm just compensating since she doesn't buy anything here."
"You still don't have to be so mean to her," Mabel told him.
"If she doesn't like it here, she can go to another motel in town," Grunkle Stan informed them, turning away and scratching his back. "Let me if anyone who actually wants to buy my stuff is here."
"Sure, fine," Wendy said, shaking her head as he departed, leaving the three alone. "Jeesh. I haven't seen him his uptight since three years ago."
"I hope it's not us," Mabel admitted, her gaze faltering.
"It's not," Wendy said, her voice confident and soft, "this is just Stan being stupid about something. You know he can be like that about stuff- stubborn and mean. But anyway- what's your letter about?" she asked, pointing to the postcard in Mabel's hand.
"Hm- OH! I bet it's Jace and Jess!" Mabel exclaimed, and quickly gave it a look-over. To her surprise, the handwriting didn't match that of the last one, and the post-card was from, of all places, Gravity Falls. "Someone locally sent us a postcard?" Mabel asked in surprise.
"Who?" Dipper tried, walking around her shoulder to look at the writing, which Mabel began to read out loud.
"Ahem. Dear Mabel and Dipper Pines," Mabel said, and rolled her eyes, "heh, that's us. Anyway," she continued after receiving a look from Dipper, "You guys really impressed me with our last little adventure in the woods. I've decided that retirement isn't exactly what I pictured, so I want to keep busy. I could use your help though. You think you could stop by the day you receive this letter, or whenever? I have something a favor to ask. Anyway, hope to see you two crazy adventurers again. Zan-" Mabel squealed and suddenly held the letter closer to her, smothering it into her neck with loud squeaks of excitement.
"Who?" Wendy asked.
"Zander Maximillion!" Mabel yelped, hopping around in circles as she pressed the postcard to herself. "He actually sent me, ME, a postcard! OH MY GOD!"
"Us a postcard," Dipper reminded her, not at all impressed with Mabel's behavior. He stood there, glaring at her maddened hops, and eventually reached into her reach and yanked out the post card. As Mabel stopped and swatted his shoulder, he examined the paper. "It was written yesterday. He is supposed to be in town, isn't he?" Dipper asked. Mabel nodded feverishly. "Why didn't he just come over, or whatever," Dipper asked them, turning and looking to Wendy.
This proved a mistake to the young teen's mind. He suddenly felt a overwhelming wave of guilt and anger as he stared into those green eyes as she shrugged and grinned back. So much confusing and conflicting feelings mixed up as he looked to her. She was a liar. She was a friend. She was a mystery. She was his crush.
"Maybe he's trying to keep publicity to a minimum," she suggested, "you know- retire in peace sort of thing?" She asked, looking to the two of them. Dipper's eyes lingered on her a tad longer than he wanted. "Dipper?" she asked, to which he coughed and looked away.
"Sorry, just a thought I had," Dipper covered hastily, covering his face as he forced out two more small coughs.
"Dipper, we should go see what he wants to do with us!" Mabel declared, still hopping up and down on her feet.
"Hah, yeah, maybe tomorrow?" Dipper suggested, and leaned in to Mabel, "so I can get a bit further into that other thing I'm working on? You know?" he asked her. Mabel gasped and grabbed him.
"Dipper, we just got the mail from the greatest rock artist alive, and he wants to see us again! Personally! Us! IN PRIVATE!" she shrieked and spun around a few times, nearly whipping Dipper's face with her hair. "Dipper, we can't just pass up on that!"
"Why not?" he inquired with a trying look.
"Because he asked us in the card to come whenever we got it," Mabel pointed out. Dipper sighed and glanced behind him. Wendy was watching them with a half-smile. Was there a thought behind her eyes? Dipper didn't know. Those darn feelings were coming again, and he turned away, staring into the desperate pleas of his sister, who begged him silently. It was better than looking at the girl behind him.
Dipper groaned, cupped his eyes with a slap over his face, and nodded. Mabel roared, and spun around him in blistering fast circles. "Let's rock, brotha!" she declared as she swatted his back in a proud clap, and ran outside in a rush that would have made the speed of light envious.
"One sec! Grabbing my stuff," Dipper grumbled as his sister left him for the outdoors. Grumbling, he turned and marched back to the living room briefly. Once with his book and notepad, he returned and started to pass by Wendy.
"Dipper, you okay?" Wendy suddenly asked. Dipper paused, and glanced to her. "You seem a little tense, man."
"Uh... just Mabel giving me a hard time," Dipper lied, looking to the door in a huff, as he didn't want to look further into what Dipper assumed was concern in her eyes. "Always going on about boys and stuff. Yeah."
"Huh. Well, you know Mabel is crazy about 'em," Wendy snorted and rolled her eyes. Dipper felt the energy in his false-hood fade, and he turned away from her again, and left. "Dipper? Dude?" Wendy called out as he left the gift shop.
She wasn't her, or she was lying about something big. That meant all of that smiling was just another lie. Wasn't it? Dipper scowled to himself as Mabel turned to him as he approached her by her bike. Her bright smile was met with his saddened frown, and she sighed.
"Cheer up, doofus," she said with a soft pat on his arm. "At least Zander doesn't seem like the kind of person who doesn't hold secrets."
"I swear, everyone does these days," Dipper grumbled without a moment hesitation.
Climbing onto the back of Mabel's bike with only one more glance behind him, Dipper clutched onto the seat as Mabel sped off. Down the gravel road and out of the immediate forest surrounding the Mystery Manor, Mabel drove them around the edge of town, towards the one place the twins had never felt a reason to visit in a long, long time.
As the bike came to a rolling stop, Mabel whistled and slowly removed her sunglasses she wore while driving. "Talk about renovations."
"Yeah, really," Dipper admitted.
The old Gleeful home had been walled around by a tall, sharp looking hedge, with two automatic gates. The nearest to them was a double-door metal gate that protected the drive way. About fifty feet past that was an open gate, built for a single person to walk through. Past the large, nearby metal barrier, the twins spied a single, very expensive and very shiny car.
"Look at it! I wonder if that's a million dollars or something," Mabel asked as she stared at the shining surface of the expensive vehicle distant to them. She finally slid off the bike, and with Dipper in tow, they approached the open metal door. The front yard was perfectly flat grass and several planted trees of small nature. Evenly dispersed at intervals around the cement walk-way, the twins looked at the house itself.
Re-construction had taken the shape of the building and added to it. What used to be a rather large looking cabin like building was now a semi-modern construct. Geometric walls and large windows presented the inside look of the building, which appeared clean and crisp. As they approached the door, music started to drift out.
"Well... okay," Mabel suddenly sighed, and shook her hands hastily at her sides. Her eyes darted around, looking from unseen focal point to another. "Here we go. Whoo. Okay."
"What are you doing?" Dipper asked her, and she jumped a little.
"Nothing. Just..." instead of answering his question, she cracked her neck, and then knocked on the door. Two raps on the door later, and it slid open gently, allowing more beautiful music to pour out. No speakers seemed to blare this source of audible art though. Mabel grinned and gulped as she stared forward, pushing the door further open.
"Mabel!" dipper hissed at her as she stepped inside the well-lit rooms.
"What?"
"We should wait until someone answers!" Dipper told her, waving her back. Mabel shook her head, a shaky smile telling him of her nerves.
"I-it'll be fine. He's cool with us," Mabel told him, and stepped further away. Scowling in indignation, Dipper stepped past the threshold of the welcome mat and into the building, coming next to Mabel as they followed the source of music.
It was classical, or at least it seemed classical. The tune was filled with passion and energy, bounding through notes at such a haste that it felt like a wild chase through the woods. Dipper frowned; the music in the air was familiar to him. He had heard this tune before- from a movie. No, not just a movie, but a movie theme.
As they found themselves crossing a large, luxurious living room, they stopped at a side-sliding door. Just outside, in a porch made of white stone that overlooked a large grass-filled backyard, Zander Maximillion sat on a fold-out chair, a guitar resting in his lap. With a realization, Dipper and Mabel saw another figure before him, her eyes closed.
Pacifica Northwest sat by a piano under a porch umbrella, rocking her body back and forth as she pressed the many keys of the piano. Dipper blinked with Mabel. They hadn't seen the similar aged girl before them so calm. She looked dream-like, swaying in her seat as she effortlessly played the piano with her eyes closed. Opening them with a small sigh, her sight flickered towards the twins, and she shrieked and pushed herself up.
"Hey! What the heck are you two doing here?!" she demanded, blushing in the face and holding her hands behind her back.
"Huh?" Zander continued to strum the guitar as he had been, and eyed the twins. A smile grew on his face, and he winked to them. "Hey! You guys got my postcard."
"We didn't mean to interrupt," Mabel assured them, and looked at Pacifica, who was bending below her, picking up a large bag of music sheets. "You sounded amazing!"
"See?" Zander also turned to the blond, who slowly lifted her head from the piano.
"Well... I was just... keeping up with you, that's all," she told him with shake of her bangs before her forehead.
"Man you're quick to throw away a compliment," Zander chuckled.
"Wasn't that the Larry Motter theme?" Dipper asked. Zander grinned and again looked to Pacifica, who snorted.
"Of course you would know that, you nerd," she grumpily said, and walked around, wrapping the book-bag around her shoulder.
"And not only that, he knew exactly what it was!" Zander pointed out to her as he stood up as well, holding the guitar aside, "like I said: Music is music. Good music distinguishes itself from the bad, but genre knows no borders of quality."
"Ugh, fine, whatever," Pacifica rolled her eyes, but she let a grin creep into the corners of her mouth.
"Are you taking lessons from Zander?" Mabel asked, her eyes sparkling as she came to this conclusion. "That's got to be the coolest thing ever!"
"Well," Zander shrugged and stepped towards the twins, ushering them all inside his home with a wave of his hand, "I don't know about coolest thing ever, especially since Pacifica didn't get a say in the matter."
"Huh?" the twins said in unison.
"My dad's idea," Pacifica told them with a heavy sigh.
"Her dad has the crazy idea that his daughter should be skilled in as many things as humanly possible," Zander told them as he lackadaisically tossed his guitar to a couch as he stepped towards the kitchen, leading them away, "and the exact topic of those, uh, teachings are only up to him."
"Sounds like your dad," Dipper muttered, giving Pacifica a shake of his head.
"Not everything changes around here," Pacifica told him with a sigh. They had entered the kitchen, and Zander slid open the refrigerator, and started lifting water bottles.
"At least you have Zander as a teacher!" Mabel pointed out, and grinned at Zander as he shrugged. "You guys must have... just so much fun."
"I don't know... do we Pacifica?" Zander asked, his eyes twinkling as he slowly closed the door. Handing one bottle to each of them, he grinned as Pacifica finally gave in a smiled. "Yyyyyyes!" Zander pumped his hands into the air, "still got it! I can teach to save a life!"
"You've always got it," Mabel cooed. Dipper smacked her side, glaring at her until she straightened herself upright.
"So, uh, can I go home then, Mister Maxim-"
"UGH!" Zander gasped, having just handed out the water bottles to the three before him. He shuddered and pointed to her. "What did I say? Only rule I have!"
"Fine, okay," Pacifica quickly nodded, "Zander," she corrected herself, and he grinned, "am I okay to go home?"
"Yeah. I'd say so. Unless you want to help out these two with a little something I'm working on," Zander suggested as he passed by the three. They followed, Mabel closely behind, and Dipper after Pacifica.
"Miste- uh- Zander," Pacifica again caught herself as Zander leapt over a foot-rest and onto the couch, bouncing the guitar into the air and catching it with ease as he sat down, "I've got tons of stuff to do at home. I'm even surprised that my dad let me work with you at all."
"What!?" Mabel demanded, "but he's the greatest musician ever!"
"Not by a long shot," Zander told Mabel with a shake of his head.
"Besides, I thought after the mess at the convention center your parents kinda had their hands full?" Dipper pointed out. As Mabel nodded in agreement and Zander slyly looked between them all, Pacifica balled her fists up.
"Yeah? And guess who has to deal with the insurance policy claims!?" she demanded to them. "My mom and dad are constantly like 'Pacifica, responsibility is part of being a Northwest. Now go deal with the six-hundred calls'," she heatedly told them.
"Well gosh, don't make it sound like we did anything good for the town when we stopped Graupner," Dipper remarked, crossing his hands in his chest. He already had enough dark thoughts piled into his mind from Wendy to deal with. He didn't need or want anything else Pacifica might have to offer.
"Hey, I didn't say anything like that, tough guy," Pacifica retorted, puffing her hair behind her shoulder as she tightened her gaze onto Dipper. "I just have to deal with more than the clean up."
"Sounds horrible. Next time, we'll just let the marauding golem go crazy and destroy everything, okay?" Dipper snapped. Mabel turned to him and gave him a glare as Pacifica snorted.
"What's got your underwear in a knot?" she demanded heatedly.
Before Dipper could reply, no doubt angrily, Mabel pushed him aside and down into a chair as she spoke. "Dipper's just dealing with some stupid stuff at home. Mystery trouble; you know how he gets when they aren't developing fast enough," she informed Zander and Pacifica.
Pacifica rolled her eyes and looked away from her ex-boyfriend, while Zander merely nodded his head and continued to smile pleasantly, occasionally strumming a note on one of the strings.
"Well, uh, I can go though, right?" Pacifica glanced to her new teacher. He nodded silently. "Okay. See you next weekend," she said, and started away.
"Wait," Zander called to her, not even bothering to watch her go. Yet she did stop, as his voice was just barely strong enough to command her action to follow his suggestion. "What did you learn today?" he asked her. Pacifica turned and stared at him.
"All instruments require breath control," she told him. Zander laughed and plucked a four strings, ushering a wave of beauty that made Mabel's legs tremble.
"Close. What did you learn- not what I taught you," Zander informed her.
Her blue eyes gazed at him until her lips split and she smiled. "Music is music," she said.
"It knows no boundaries," Zander added and winked to her. "You can go. Good job today," he added, and then pointed to her, "and remember; there will always another day."
Pacifica only nodded once before turning and leaving, having the twins all alone to their eccentric and preposterously rich friend. He leant back to the couch, the white pillows illuminated by the light from above. The wall behind Zander was a large painting- abstract and a collection of otherwise entirely undistinguishable streaks of paint. From his seat, Zander looked between one another, and continued to pluck his guitar.
"So, as it turns out, retirement is really boring," he told them curtly. Mabel giggle, and Dipper nodded. "Like, really, really, really boring. One of the only reasons I decided to teach Pacifica was because... god I'm just so bored!"
"Wait, you didn't call us over here for some crazy advice, did you?" Dipper demanded, staring at the older man.
"Nope," Zander shook a finger to him as he let the guitar fall to his side, "I said I needed your help, and your help I do need. So, pow-wow with me," he said, ushering them closer. Mabel nodded eagerly and quickly sat next to him. With a groan, Dipper pushed himself up and strode over, plopping down next to the man. Once both were present, Zander grinned and wrapped his hands around their shoulders.
"Okay, so, imagine this," he started, painting a picture with his hands as he wove a story, "you're a musician who's always made music. It's what drives you. It makes you you. Then, one day, you decide that you're done with the spot light, but you want more of what you love. So, what's the first logical step to take?"
"Make a garage band!?" Mabel gasped, so excited with her prospect that she squealed. Dipper shook his head.
"I don't know. What?" he asked bluntly.
Zander was unphased by Dipper's low-energy. "Make a new website for yourself!" he proclaimed. Mabel clapped and cheered next to him. "Cool, huh!?" Zander asked.
"I'm totally going to check it whenever I find a computer with enough power to use current internet," Mabel told Zander. Dipper shook his head, looking between the two.
"Wait, you mean you pulled us all the way over here to help you design a website?" he demanded.
"Nope," Zander grinned, "I've got money and time to do that on my own. What I need you from two is something a little more... unique," he told them. "You see, having a status like mine makes it hard to go anywhere without people trying to take pictures of you left and right. So I can't sneak around, say, in the woods and find something really cool on my own," Zander explained, "and, say, get a high-definition picture of it for my background of the website."
Mabel gasped and held a hand to her chest. "Wait, wait, we're going to go into the woods and find something, and take pictures of it for you?" she asked. Zander nodded, and Mabel replied in kind, bobbing her face up and down so fast it was a blur. "Yesyesyesyes of course we're going to do it!"
"Wait, Mabel!" Dipper said, his teeth gritted. The other two turned to face him. "What about what Grunkle Stan said?" Dipper reminded her, "and what... you know, we're already doing?"
Mabel squinted to him, and then shook her head. Dipper reached around Zander, who leaned forward, and the twins spoke. "What? He didn't say bring something dangerous back- just find something to take pictures of or whatever. That's not dangerous."
"Fine, sure, whatever," Dipper hastily agreed, "but I wanted to keep on the whole, you know, Wendy thing?"
"Dipper, she's not going anyway, jeesh," Mabel told him.
"You don't know that!" he hissed back.
"So, if you guys want, I can wait in the kitchen while you two discuss whatever," Zander told them, tapping his fingers together as he awaited them. Mabel grunted and pushed away from Dipper, coming around to see Zander.
"No, no, it's okay! We'll do it," she informed Zander with her brightest, widest smile. Dipper's mouth fell open, and he scowled as Zander clapped his hands together.
"Awesome! Look, I was going to rent a camera for this tomorrow, so just do me the favor of finding something first. I want it to be sort of atmospheric- mysterious, but natural. Nothing crazy like machines and technology," Zander explained as he stood up. "You ever going to drink those?" he pointed to the bottles in their hands. Mabel's had nearly slipped from her grip as she was pointed to, and Dipper shook his head stiffly, and placed it on a coffee table before him. "Okay then. You guys need any help or, you know, whatever," Zander pointed to them as he turned back towards the porch, "I'll be here, chilling. Bored."
"We will-"
"Yeah, we'll come back later," Dipper said, standing up and nearly pulling his sister up with him. "See you later, Zander."
"Adios, amigos," Zander called as the twins exited the building in a rush. Once outside in the front yard, Dipper relinquished his grasp over his sister. Pulling herself away from him, she scowled.
"Okay, really bro?" she asked, straightening up her sweater, which he had slightly wrinkled.
"Yes, really," he said, walking past in a deliberate march.
"Okay, what the heck is eating you?" Mabel demanded, rushing around him. When he said nothing, she huffed and threw her hands into the air. "Really dude? Still Wendy?"
"Yes!" he shouted in reply, "of course I'm mad about it! I want to find out why my friend has been hiding a secret from me for who knows how long! Don't I deserve to know that!?"
"Dipper, we don't know anything about what it is she's hiding from us!" Mabel pointed out, "this isn't like McGucket or anyone like that! There were a few signs about what he was up to, but what signs have there been before this summer that Wendy ever hid anything from us?"
"Nothing! I know it's nothing! But that means it could be recent," Dipper told her, "what if... what if she's caught up in this Warlock guy? Huh?"
"Dipper, do you really think that?" Mabel asked, her hands holding her elbows in support.
"Don't patronize me!" Dipper yelled. "I don't know what to think, and I don't like that!"
"Oh my god, Dipper, calm the heck down," Mabel demanded, her own voice raising, "I get it!"
"Then why are we doing this stupid thing for Zander?!"
"Okay, first of all, not stupid," Mabel held up one finger, "two, because he's awesome and cool and we should want to know him just as much as we know Wendy," she held up a second finger, "and third," she lifted her third finger, "you aren't making any progress with Wendy. Take a break!"
"Yet! I'm not making any progress YET!" Dipper shoved a finger at Mabel's face.
"Dipper, you haven't made progress with Wendy in three years," she sighed and rolled her eyes.
A still silence fell over Dipper. Mabel stared at him, her eyes studying him as he watched her back. Maybe it finally dawned on Mabel what she had just said, but no amount of fidgety movement could aid her. She gulped and looked away, her eyes starting to sting as Dipper's stare become colder than had been in a very, very long time.
"So that's what you really think of me with Wendy," Dipper said quietly in a slow nod.
"Dude, I was just being mean," Mabel said, brushing the end of her nose with back of her wrist.
"And I bet honest, too," Dipper pointed to her, shaking his head, "well, good for freakin' you. Bravo. BRAVO!" he yelled to the sky, turning around as he forcibly laughed. "The biggest secret was in front of me the whole time! LIKE IT ALWAYS IS!" Dipper screamed, and kicked at the metal gate towards Zander's home.
"Dipper, stop it," Mabel hissed at him.
"You've always thought I never had a chance, huh?" Dipper demanded, pointing to himself. "So all those times you just stood there, watching me figure these feelings out, you've probably been holding back laughter!"
"No! No, Dipper, I just-"
"Well, you know what," Dipper felt his throat become tight as he marched quickly to her, causing her to flinch and take a step back, "fine! At least I have some consistency with what people I choose to like!"
"Wha-what's that supposed to mean?" Mabel asked.
"You know exactly what I mean," Dipper shook his head. "Just what exactly is the similar feature of all the people you've tried dating, huh? Mermando? Gabe? Norman? Jeff?!"
"That's not fair!" Mabel shouted back. "I was twelve, Dipper!"
"Oh, yeah, forgot about anyone in high school you may have tried dating, and then Jace, and now HIM!?" he pointed to the home, "an actual rock star?!" Mabel's lip quivered as she watched him hatefully stare at her. "You think you have a chance, a CHANCE with him?! But then you can swing around and tell me I have no chance with Wendy? REALLY!? Here; a free lesson from your brother: the word hypocrisy! Look it up!"
"Shut up!" Mabel shouted back, "at least I can move on when it's not working!"
"So true! Sooo true!" Dipper growled, his entire body shaking as he pointed at Mabel furiously. "Glad you could give me some of your great life-lesson advice, MABEL!"
Two loud blares of a police siren startled the twins. They whipped their red faces towards the street, where a police cruiser had slowed down to a stop. As the window dropped down and showed Sheriff Blubs, he leant out and eyed them through his dark sunglasses.
"So, uh, everyone fine over here? Zander Maximillion doesn't need loiterers in his front yard," Blubs stated officially.
"Especially not kids," Durland added.
"WE'RE NOT LOITERING!" Dipper screamed at him.
"AND WE'RE HIS FRIENDS! GET LOST!" Mabel screamed as well.
Blubs and Deputy Durland, who sat next to him, stared at the fury of the twins. Without another word, the window slowly ascended back up, and the cop was protected from their wrath by a thin veil of glass. As the patrol car pulled away, Dipper and Mabel whipped back to one another.
"You know what, Mabel? I think you're right," Dipper told her, and then turned himself around and started walking away.
"Huh?! The heck kind of stupid mind game is this?" she demanded as he continued away.
"No, no mind game. I'm just taking a leaf from your book here," he called over his shoulder as he marched away, following the road away from the old gleeful, now Maximillion house, and towards the Mystery Manor.
"How is 'leaving the discussion' my idea?" Mabel asked, trying to follow. Dipper spun around, and pointed at her.
"You want me to just be able to 'pick up and leave what I like alone', do you!?" he demanded as he passed the hedges. "Fine! Go drive home on your own."
"What? Dude," Mabel ran up next to him, but he side-stepped her and continued away. "Dipper, stop it. It could be dangerous out there."
"I said leave me ALONE!" he yelled and spun, nearly headbutting her in the face. "I don't want you near me," he said through a scratchy voice. His eyes stung as well, but he dared not act on anything unless absolutely needed. He didn't want to show any signs of weakness. Not now.
Mabel stared into those eyes of his and slowly backed up. She looked ill, with her face going from red to a pale pink as she fought to not twist her mouth into a horrible frown. Without another word, she spun away, a hand over her eyes as she marched from Dipper. Dipper didn't bother to watch her go all the way back to the bike.
He just kept marching down the street, following it along the side as he shoved his hands into his pockets. At some point he felt and heard the rush of Mabel's motorcycle pass him. He didn't even look up to see if it had actually been her. It didn't matter.
No longer was there a heaviness in the chest- that dark pit in his heart had been taken away. No longer did he feel guilt from suspecting Wendy; just deep, uncompromisingly angry fury. He didn't feel the stretch of his skin, nor the pulling of his muscles as he clenched them. Then again, he just felt the absence of pressure in his chest. He felt so empty.
He had been betrayed by his own sister. All this time, this entire summer, and possibly longer, she had thought his feelings towards the girl of his... well, dreams, just a sad, pathetic joke. All the times he thought her attempts at getting a girl, and he rolled his eyes and thought she was rushing herself... had she secretly resented that? That question seemed to answer itself now.
Dipper felt a cough-like gasp escape from his lips. It hurt. That feeling of his sister having so readily turned on him, just like that, it ate at him from the inside out. His feet carried himself further, feeling the wind of the world fade into noise no louder than the beating of his heart, or the shallow, ragged breath he struggled to take. He just kept walking, pushing himself further and further.
Then he ran into a tree.
"Ow!" Dipper held his nose, more startled and harmed- with exception to his pride. "GOD DAMN IT!" Dipper shouted and kicked at the tree with the base of his foot. He had not watched where he was walking, and started to turn into the forest. With his breathing settling down, his sight focused, and spotted something far, far off past the initial line of trees.
Colored lights. There were many colored lights ahead, glowing out in auras past the trees. Dipper gasped and hid behind the tree he had just kicked. It could be anything.
With a peek around the curve of the plant, his eyes peered through the vegetation, trying to discern what laid ahead. It wasn't still light, where a constant beam or sphere remained still, but it wasn't moving around, per-say. What Dipper saw was some sort of aura- something shimmering past the forest just bright enough to catch his eyes.
Bitterness resolved with his curiosity. He could not only get back at his sister and lead Zander to this spot without Mabel's help, but he could also discover something on his own. Again.
With a pat of his hat, securing it on him, Dipper stepped around the tree and moved forward. His first worrying thought, fairies, seemed possible. He and Mabel hadn't ever figured out how far their reign of the forest extended to, and those lights did remind him of those they saw before. Yet, with each crinkling step through dry, dead twigs Dipper took, he heard more and more of something else that sounded familiar to him. A humming, so gentle and eerie that it felt like a dream. With a gasp, Dipper pushed past the last tree, and let his eyes bask in the sigh before him.
Crystals. A massive growth of crystals, taller than the Mystery Manor itself loomed before Dipper. He had seen such mineral deposits before. With a grin, he started patrolling around it. That had been easy! Much easier than he anticipated!
To his surprise, no bright was focused out from any side of the geometric shape. Instead, as Dipper stared at it, he realized that the humming sound was a direct result of a discharge. At the base of the huge crystal, a series of smaller, human-sized ones scattered around in various, constantly changing colors. Between them all, occasional bursts of static darted from one to another, like they were all electrified.
A sample.
Dipper needed one- if not for Zander, but then for himself. He had never read something like this being in Gravity Falls before. Well, crystals, yes- but ones with altering properties that could be observable. These crystals reminded him of those cylinders that Uki-Dohth's people had used for running the robot clones.
"Here we go," Dipper said to himself as he found one small enough to probably pry from the dirt with his hands. Reaching down, he clasped his fingers around the edge and-
ZAP.
"OW! JEESH! GOD!" Dipper yelled as he stood up and turned, waving his hand through the air. His entire body had just felt burning hot; presumably as every single cell in his body felt the surge of electricity flow through him. His hand and body all tingled, his nerves finally calming down from the over-load of senses.
With a sigh of relief that nothing horrible had happened in the minor mishap, Dipper leaned against the closest tree, his hands in his pockets. Yet... he felt sore. His chest was tight, heavy even. With a worried groan, he felt his chest, afraid his heart may be a little shaken up still.
His hand met his shirt much sooner than it should have. Dipper looked down. His chest extended out now. It was... rounded.
"W-wh-what?!" Dipper demanded. His chest felt heavy. It was rounded. And, with all-encompassing fear, Dipper felt a strange 'missing' of pieces. Without thinking, Dipper grabbed onto his chest, and then his face. His facial hair was gone. In its stead, he felt pressure under his beanie. Long, brown, wavy hair flowed past his shoulders to the middle of his back, and Dipper let out a strangle cry.
"I'm a GIRL!?"
He was no longer a he.
Dipper yelled again, feeling the changes over his body. Things missing, things added; new hair, no hair- it was all overwhelming and deafeningly scary. He had just been turned into a girl! A real teenage girl!
Dipper blinked, and looked back to the crystal. The shock back would be worth it- damn the consequences!
Lunging through the air and reaching out, Dipper grasped the crystal and closed his eyes as he landed on the dirt and let out a loud 'oof'. The new addition of breasts made the landing less tolerable. As he groaned in pain, trying to ignore the please for him to stand back up and relieve the weight on them, Dipper realized he had grabbed the crystal. His fingers were still around it, and nothing was happening.
"Oh... oh no!" Dipper shrieked, and then shot up instantly. "Wait...no!" Dipper gasped and held a hand to his throat, "NO!" he shouted again, realizing his voice was changing. "No, c'mon man! I already got teased enough about this! I don't need this again!" Dipper shouted at the sky, and kicked the nearest crystal angrily. It neither broke nor budged.
Dipper continued around, grasping and touching any and all crystals he could. None of them gave him the sweet, blessed result he craved- to be turned back to his natural gender. All of them seemed... inert to him. Like they refused to talk to him now. Dipper grew more and more panicked, frustrated, and soon was shouted at the ground as he pulled at his hair.
"I... I can't do this alone," he told himself, feeling the changed voice similar to how he always sounded, but softer than usual, and oddly smooth.
He needed to find someone else to help him. Anyone else.
Wait, no, not anyone. He needed someone he could trust. Someone who knew about these sort of things. Someone who could actually help him with theories and ideas, as opposed to just going crazy about the supernatural being real. Then again, Dipper shuddered as he considered letting Grunkle Stan see his new look. His great uncle would never let it go that he had become an actual girl for a day. Or... forever.
Dipper shook his head; daring to think that only made him feel sick.
There was Soos of course. He never judged anyone for anything without dang good reason. Then again, Soos wasn't always the most logical thinker of his friends. Mabel was out of the question. Dipper didn't want her help, and if she found out that he had gone off on his own to spite her...
"And Wendy's out of the question," Dipper muttered to himself. "Yuki doesn't like lying to people, so he could tell someone about this... wait!" Dipper leapt into the air, and gasped. There was someone he could get help from without anyone knowing. "Arline!" Dipper exclaimed.
He started back towards the roads, but slid to a halt. Arline had said she was leaving for the day. Arline would be somewhere in town, and while Dipper cared less what the townsfolk would think if they realized he had become a she, that was room for gossip to spread, and it would probably find its way to the Mystery Manor.
Was there truly no one Dipper could now turn to without life-ending embarrassment?
Dipper blinked as a man's face winked at him in his mind, a stirring memory of not too long ago. With a long breath and equally long sigh, Dipper realized the appropriate irony of the situation. The only person, within reason, Dipper could turn to for help in this matter was also the very same person who had sent him and Mabel out in the first place.
Angry as he was to admit it, this would be another time Dipper prayed his sister was right about something, and Zander Maximillion would be as cool as he acted. Dipper self-image and entire sanity depended on the crazy-rich retired rocker down the street now.
That's what you get for being all dramatic, Dipper. Turned into the opposite Gender.
But seriously, I bet you all weren't expecting sommathat tension, huh? Hopefully it wasn't unwanted. After all, I claim this is a comedy first, an adventure second. Then again, without dat drama, what would ever be funny? Or stuff. At least the funny stuff comes in part two. Or I should say 'more funny stuff'.
Zander has his second appearance! Along with Pacifica! Yay side characters!
Now, not about the story itself, a HUGE thanks to those who already started working on posters and character drawings. I've loved ALL OF THEM! They're soo freakin' cool, you guys! Like there's one now of Yuki on Deviant art, and the phoenix from Episode Six of season one; and those are just the COMPLETED ONES! So to my talented artists who think I'm worth drawing for, I thank you a bazillion times. What you've done is so cool. Keep doing it! :D
Now I take my leave. Until next Sunday, my friends! Or until you review and have an account: because then I will just reply to you and have a nice little chat. THAT'S A HINT FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT REVIEW ANONYMOUSLY! GET ACCOUNTS SO WE CAN CHAT!
(A swarm of reviews in the form of arrows streak through EZB's window and rapidly impale him to his wall.)