Hi guys,
Hope you're all having a great week!
Took a bit longer to update as it was mine and the ever-patient fiancé's anniversary on Sunday. 4 years of utter madness! He is my geeky, socially awkward industrial chemist and I love him to pieces.
Onwards, and thank you for the awesome reviews! Especially to NyquilPhreak - for our expectations of men are thoroughly hampered by the beautiful world of Tolkien!
Love,
MM -x
.
The hangover was horrendous. More than horrendous; it felt like I had been put through a wringer and I had spent most of the morning staggering around, barely able to function.
I'd lost track of how much I'd had to drink. Hell, even my sisters had forgotten as I woke up face-first in their room, sprawled across one bed whilst they had been curled up together on the other.
When I came around I knew I was still drunk. I knew the twins were too, for as soon as I woke I had to drag J to the bathroom where she promptly evacuated all the contents of her stomach. Legolas had followed me the entire way, pointing out to everyone who passed me that I was still in a dress from the night before and my, wasn't my hair askew?
"Legolas, if you do not desist I will break your nose with such force that splinters shoot into your brain." I spoke frankly, but when I span around to confront him I stumbled over my dress and he just managed to catch me before I hit the floor.
"No, you will not." He chuckled, and with a sweeping movement he lifted me into his arms and carried me the rest of the way, putting me down only to open my door and then to dump me unceremoniously onto my bed. "Sleep for a little longer, and if you have any sense about you a mouthful of this will do you a great deal of good when you wake." I heard the clunk of a flask on my bedside table, but I felt blackness take me in only moments as I fell asleep... or passed out.
When I did come around again, I found a maid pottering about my room and bags packed about me. She stopped and curtsied, an pleasant smile on her face.
"Begging your pardon, miss. Prince Legolas advised you might need some assistance packing for your journey home this afternoon. I have laid out an outfit for you, if you'd like to change?"
"I think I've died." I groaned, sitting up with her assistance and a look of pity graced her features.
"Aye miss, a few have said the same. I thought Elven constitutions were stronger than those of Men?" She asked, curious as she handed me a damp cloth to wash with.
"Oh, they are. But I lost count of what I drank somewhere after the 5th bottle of wine. I might have had double that. Alcohol is still a poison, it just affects us in different ways."
The lady winced and patted my shoulder, before taking the cloth from me and helping me to stand. "Come, my Lady, it shan't do you much harm to bathe. There is a little lukewarm water left and my husband swears by it when he's been one too many hours in the pub."
I didn't have the strength in me to fight her, but as she helped me to wash and dress I recalled with uncomfortable clarity the conversation Lady Galadriel and Jade'd had the previous afternoon.
For her it had been comforting, but for me it had made my skin crawl and my soul squirm uncomfortably against it; grinding and churning. Without finishing my packing, I walked straight out of the door and to the courtyard, deciding to take a leaf out of J's book and sitting myself right at the city's pinnacle. I needed a little perspective and I had a gut feeling that I would find it there.
xxxXxxx
"Bernadette?"
I blinked, looking up to see a concerned Haldir gazing down at me. "I hope you do not mind but... Glorfindel expressed some concern that you had received some unexpected news." He sat next to me as I swung my legs, heels tapping against the wall. I was sat as Glorfindel had told me J was prone to doing: right at the pointed tip of the citadel's courtyard with my legs over the wall, dangling in the air.
It was strangely soothing and gave me a strange sense of both freedom and doom as I looked to the city below, the people appearing further and further away. I liked the control it gave me; not that I had any desire to jump, but it was like a thrill and an exercise in daring.
"Hmm." I said without any commitment, looking out over the great fields that surrounded Minas Tirith.
"He also advised me on the topic of said conversation." Haldir's words were cautious, as were his careful movements as he shuffled to sit next to me comfortably.
"It isn't something new to me, Haldir. I'm pretty damaged as a person." My words were as flat as I felt. "It kind of makes sense that my soul would be too."
"No, it does not." His arm went around my waist securely, giving me a squeeze and keeping me anchored against him. "I cannot believe that a woman so strong as you are can be anything but whole. Even if some part of you is damaged so, then I will still love you with all that I am and it shall be more than enough for both of us." His words were frank and I tilted my head, feeling the same flutter of love that I always did when I looked at the smooth angles of his face.
"Pinky promise?" I said childishly.
"I beg your pardon?" He snorted and I held out my hand, sticking my little finger out and grabbing his hand to mimic the gesture. I linked our fingers together and squeezed.
"A pinky promise. I never break a pinky promise."
"What a strange creature you are." He said with fond tolerance, but kept our hands joined whilst he pressed his lips to mine in a sincere promise of his own. "Are you quite done with this melancholy, love? Whilst I do not fear heights, this is a somewhat disconcerting view." He looked down at the city and across the fields, face an unusually pale shade even for him.
"I like it." I said simply, leaning my head on Haldir's shoulder.
"I understand, but we should prepare to depart this afternoon and you do need to find a horse." I whimpered then, looking up at him through dark lashes. "No, that will not work with me. You cannot have Morandír."
"Please?" I begged. "Pretty please, with sprinkles?"
He continued to look at me as if I were perhaps somewhat touched in the head. "He is my horse. I know that you seem to have developed a peculiar friendship with him, but you will have to find your own for your journey to Mirkwood."
I pulled a face, but let him drag me back over the edge of the wall with only a little protest until I stood mostly firmly on my feet. He watched me critically as I swayed a little, and he caught me with a groan as I went to sit back down again.
"I think I might pass out." I mumbled into his tunic. "Can I have a piggy-back to my rooms?"
"No, you brought this entirely upon yourself and you can enjoy the suffering. I had to carry you to your sisters' quarters, as you refused to leave them. I do not recall why – I confess I had only a little less wine than you." He grimaced, touching his temple lightly. "I did try very hard not to drop you. I do not recall if I was wholly successful."
"Ah, that's how I got there then, and where the bruise on my elbow came from." I flushed, looking anywhere but at him as I stood back. "Thank you for that."
"I told you that I would do so." His hands went to my hips again, giving me a tug so that I was flush against him. "Although... if you happened to come by some Miruvor, or know where we might find some, then I could be persuaded to take pity on you."
"Hair of the dog, really?" The very thought of any more liquor made my stomach turn, but he nodded sagely.
"Ah, 'the hair of the dog that did bite you' – an interesting but dubious phrase in most circumstances but for this one. I ask that you trust me my love. I have been involved in this particular dance with our cruellest mistress on more than one occasion." His lips went to my neck, kissing little patterns up and down the skin whilst I thought to the earlier morning.
"I think Legolas left me a flask of something." I said slowly, frowning. "I was still drunk I think. Anyway, he did tell me that if I had any sense I'd drink some. I might have elected to ignore him."
"Usually excellent advice, but on this occasion he was probably supplying you with the very brew we seek." I screeched as he lifted me into his arms unexpectedly, and then winced at the volume. "Not quite so loudly, dear heart." Haldir chided me and began to walk in the direction of my rooms. I waved jovially to my parents as we passed them, and Dad frowned.
"What are you, an invalid?"
Haldir stopped and put me down with a sheepish look. "Your daughter may have overindulged yesterday evening. I take her to her rooms to recover." He dumped me right in the shit with them, and I reached out to smack his arm as Mum's hands became firmly planted on her hips.
"Ha, says you! No Miruvor for you." I hissed under my breath, and Haldir blanched.
"You are a witch. Do not tease me so." He begged, and I let a single brow rise.
"If you two are quite finished?" Mother all but growled at us, and I hid behind Haldir a little. "Thank you. What I was about to say was that your room has been emptied so you'll find nothing there. However..." She rooted in her bag, and then held out the flask Legolas had given me. I snatched it out of her hands quick as a flash and took a tentative sip, before feeling a pleasant strength and vigour drench me.
"This is awesome. None for you!" I said with entirely too much glee, feeling my hangover gone in an instant as I took a second sip. Haldir reached for it patiently and I held it out of his grasp.
"Do not make me drag it from you. I will win." He said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh yeah? Who is the one who runs several hours a day, several days a week, every week since... February? Bye!" I exclaimed and dashed off, letting my feet take me quickly as they could before his poor, hungover brain had a chance to catch up with just what had happened.
I was an absolutely atrocious fiancé sometimes, but I did enjoy being better than him at something.
xxxXxxx
Haldir
"I..." He blinked once as she shot off into the distance of the palace, flying through the arches with her hair flowing freely behind her. When had she become so remarkably quick upon her feet?
"Ah, she's all yours." Gaelin patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Legolas doesn't jest when he complains about her running quite regularly – headlong in to trouble, or away from whatever mischief she's caused. Are you sure you want her? If you gave her back, I would only hold it against you a little."
Haldir sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Perhaps you should have given me the flask first." He muttered. Now he had no choice but to search for his lady with the feeling of Dwarves mining into his skull, and the thought was not a pleasant one.
"I did one better." Aurae had that look about her which her daughter shared, and he thanked the Valar for small blessings as a second, smaller flask was given to him with a flourish and he let the brew warm him and soothe his head. "I know my daughter far too well."
"That is because you are far too like your daughter, darling." Gaelin looked at his affronted wife fondly. "You should find her, and perhaps her sisters too. We really do need to get her on a horse sooner rather than later, and it takes her hours to become comfortable in any way."
"Aye, and well I know it. I do wonder if I should simply permit Morandír an excursion to Mirkwood if just to keep her feeling a little more at ease."
"Well, your horse is your horse, but if she will actually ride him with some level of contentment then is a few months really all that long?" Gaelin held out his hands in a gesture of surrender.
"Perhaps not. I shall think on it, but in the meantime I really should locate Benny. Enjoy what little peace your morning may bring." He bowed to them both and then began to roam the palace somewhat aimlessly, checking the few places he thought they might be.
The sound of muffled laughter coming from the music room was a dead giveaway, and he stationed himself outside of the door to listen a little and peer in. They were laughing and singing in their old tongue, all three of them, and he caught the odd phrase here and there which made little to no sense.
"Oh my God, Ben, play that song. You know, that one you like by that dead guy and his band. The really awesome operatic one." J jumped up and down in the air, waving her hands excitedly.
"J, that is pretty much half of the music I listen to. Narrow it down." Bernadette pressed random notes in some order known only to herself.
"I can't remember, I don't usually listen to rock music. Tori, that one we sang with the choir like a month before we came here, you know the one I mean." She huffed, and despite the narrow field of vision he had he could feel the roll of the other twin's eyes.
"Ah, I know what she means; J, you are such a cretin. Bohemian Rhapsody."
"Not a chance in hell. That's far too complicated for me, maybe get Mum to play it when we get to Mirkwood. Oh, I have and idea!" His love exclaimed, and he could see the joy that captured her features as she began to play.
A tap on his shoulder alerted him to the presence of Glorfindel and of Legolas, both looking confused as to what was going on. Haldir raised a finger to his lips before daring to push the door open a little further so that they all could see and hear. "Music from their home." He whispered as quietly as he possibly could as Bernadette began to play, a strange rhythm of chords. J whooped and Tori began to drum a beat.
"You taking the top, Ben?" She asked as Bernadette repeated the pattern on the keyboard, her fingers finding the notes.
"Yeah. You splitting the others?" Haldir watched the two girls nod, and then as one they began to sing.
He felt a shove next to him and Aurae pushed her way past, as did Gaelin a moment later with a gesture for them all to remain hidden as they were.
"Five hundred-twenty five thousand, six-hundred minutes, five hundred-twenty five thousand journeys to plan. Five hundred-twenty five thousand, six-hundred minutes; how do you measure the life of a woman or a man?"
The words he translated quietly, but as the song went on he realised that he did not need to for the content became clear from the way they sang alone. Bernadette's father took his eldest daughter by the waist, dancing freely with a laugh as she found that voice he had heard before. The voice with the raw power, feral and completely free, soaring higher and higher as she gestured with closed eyes and a broad smile.
Beside him, Legolas' brows shot up as Tori continued to follow the other harmonies with her twin, stopping the drumming to take her hands as they sang to each other whilst dancing in circles. This was a family moment, a moment that those closest to them had been permitted to see, and Haldir had to turn his eyes away for a moment whilst he listened to them as it truly felt like an intrusion.
The song ended as soon as it had started, and the three elves looked at each other both amused and touched. Aurae started on another song, something less dramatic, and Gaelin seemed to lean forward on the instrument to gesture for them to enter the room. Benny turned then, hair fanning around her, and he saw the exhilaration from the song before still in her eyes as she took the steps towards him and into her arms.
"Like that, did you?" She asked him in his ear, voice throaty still. "You seem far more chipper."
"Yes, I rather enjoy being in your mother's favour despite the fact that she can somewhat seem like a dragon. Also, I have concluded that the only way you will travel to Mirkwood without being thoroughly miserable will be for you to ride Morandír. As such, he prefers to be held in a paddock and not a stable where possible, and Legolas will need to ensure you ride him regu..."
He was cut off by the pressure of her lips against his, and against his better judgement he permitted himself the luxury of returning the gesture in front of the strange mixture of elves he would soon call family. He tore his lips away and looked around the room – Glorfindel had commandeered Jade in some silly jig Aurae played which she was trying to keep up with, whilst Victoria and Legolas were leaning against a wall caught up in some animated conversation or another; her sweeping gesture seeming to indicate weapons.
Gods, did that lady not stop for one moment?
"Have we freaked you out yet?" Benny asked with humour. "We're a strange bunch."
"Ah, then it is well that I am accustomed to your oddities and rather like them." Haldir spoke fondly, smoothing her hair down where it had become a little wild in her dancing. "In regards to your oddities – come. We really should prepare to depart and I seem to have found myself without a horse."
Bernadette tucked herself into his side and put an arm around his waist as they left the noise and hubbub of the room. "I love you." Her words were quiet and sincere. "I'm going to miss you."
"And I you. Yet a summer in Mirkwood will do you well I feel, and come the autumn you will return to my arms once more." He let his own arm slip around her as they walked. "As it is, we have little over a week before we must truly part as you head to the north."
"I know."
They strolled together out to the courtyard and down the rings of the city to the stables, Bernadette flinching only a little as she passed the inn where she had worked for so many weeks. "I should say goodbye to Jaen."
"Go now, quickly." He pushed her to the door and she was ushered in by the wild-haired mortal woman with a gently sad smile. They were not long inside, but as she emerged he saw the betraying red-rimmed eyes and washed out cheeks that indicated tears. Despite it she offered a small smile and a nod.
"All okay. Let's go..." She began, but was interrupted by the clearing throat behind them. Haldir turned and bowed his head to King Thranduil, and Bernadette became skittish in an instant as she did the same.
"Captain Haldir, Lady Aerlinn." His voice was low and smooth, and he seemed to have noted Bernadette's unease when he used her first given name. "Have you perchance come across my son on the stroll through the city, Lady? I know he has a penchant for appearing wherever your family reside." His lip curled a little and Haldir instinctively took Bernadette's hand in support.
Bernadette cleared her throat, her voice still constricted clearly by her emotional farewell with Jaen. "He was in the music room with Lord Glorfindel, my parents and my sisters last I saw him. He might have moved on since then, but it was only about half an hour ago and we've not passed him since."
A pale brow rose. "Meek does not suit you, Aerlinn. Do find the backbone I am so used to seeing, despite your unusual... change in circumstance."
Bernadette straightened then, and Haldir fought not to wince. Perhaps the King did not quite know the tale of Bernadette, but to provoke her in such a way was a fool's errand. He said nothing further and turned to leave, but the lady beside him cleared her throat in a mimic of Thranduil's earlier action.
"Bernadette, my Lord. My name is Bernadette." Thranduil turned, looking Bernadette up and down with a sweeping glance. It appeared cold on the surface but Haldir could see the amusement in the blue eyes that his lady seemed to miss as her hand shook a little in his.
"Is it, indeed?"
Thranduil turned and left, robes fluttering behind him in the slight summer breeze. As he rounded the corner Bernadette all but collapsed against him, and Haldir could feel her heart hammering within her chest.
"I changed my mind, can I come home with you?" She whimpered against him as he supported her. "I don't want to be within a mile of him at any given time."
He could not stop the chuckle that escaped him as he pulled her down the street towards the stables. Perhaps Morandír could help settle her nerves that seemed entirely shot to pieces, and he wondered not for the first time how she would cope with the somewhat temperamental King of Mirkwood.
xxxXxxx
"So..." Bernadette had cornered Orophin on their ride home, and Haldir tried not to smirk as he rode with Glorfindel and Galadriel. In an unusual meeting, all elven rulers within Middle Earth rode together from the wedding of the Evenstar and at the head of the company were Elrond, Thranduil and Celeborn.
"What?" His tone was light but Bernadette clearly had no intention of letting him change the topic which he had somehow managed to avoid the entire time they had been within Gondor.
"You made my friend cry. I don't like it when someone I care about cries." Her voice was like a whip-crack and next to him, Glorfindel winced. Bernadette then proceeded to tell Orophin quite exactly and in somewhat horrific detail just what she thought of his behaviour.
Everyone had noticed her quiet but firm scolding, including his companions, Legolas, her sisters and even her King, who turned his head almost imperceptibly to listen to her. Haldir thought he could almost see a smirk on the lips of Thranduil, but he could not be sure.
"Your betrothed is a strange one, Haldir. She becomes friends with those who would do her harm, and then becomes their staunchest supporter." Glorfindel watched Orophin cower as the dark-haired woman sat astride Morandír with a face like thunder, gesturing wildly with one hand.
"Ah, Lord Glorfindel, it is not so strange. Osellë is rather similar to our charge in many ways, and they shall be friends until all the world is changed." Lady Galadriel's face shone with the look of foreknowledge. "I believe she is more meddlesome than even you when the inclination takes her, but she has a good heart and good judgement. How I long to see the lady she will become when that which she knew before is made clear to her."
"I have a feeling that it shall not be too long before that day comes, my Lady. Memories begin to surface, or so Prince Legolas tells me." Haldir commented, and then cringed as Bernadette struck Orophin on the arm before riding hard ahead, hair flying behind her angrily.
Haldir made to follow her, but Glorfindel held his arm out and then pointed to Legolas who was following her with a frown. "Best leave them to it. She needs a friend to talk her out of her black moods, I think."
"It is strange to see them so close, so suddenly." Haldir commented, watching the two riding far ahead at a slower pace so that they could speak. "I fear that I should possibly speak to my dear brother, if I may take my leave for a moment?"
"Go, Captain. I shall enjoy myself quite thoroughly watching such antics. It fills my heart with joy that our greatest concerns now can be those of love and of family, and not those of war." the Lady of the Wood spoke, warmth in her eyes and in her words. It struck Haldir quite suddenly just how wonderful those words were to hear.
"Orophin, what have you done to upset my betrothed?" Haldir brought his horse alongside his brother, as did Rumil.
"Yes, Orophin, what mess have you created this time?"
The elf was aggravated,and on any other occasion Haldir would heed it but for the calling in his heart to push his brother a little. "This is of Osellë's doing, is it not? I rather dislike that lady for the confusion she has wrought upon you."
"Perhaps Bernadette has the measure of her – a witch from Mordor indeed." Rumil was playing his part spectacularly, and Orophin looked dumbfounded between the two of them.
"I... you know full well that is not true." Haldir noted the quick defence of the lady. "How can you speak of her so after all that she has done for our family? For me?"
"How indeed, brother. True she healed you, brought you back from the brink of death, but still she has been quite the cruel..." Haldir began, knowing that it would be the final straw for his poor brother to snap completely. They had never told him quite how close they had come to losing him.
"What? What are you talking about? Speak now." Orophin's voice was sharp.
"You were gravely injured, little brother. For three days she kept vigil by your side, working day and night to save your life. She would take no assistance, permit no visitors, and instead diligently ensured old injuries did not take you from this world as they wished to." Haldir was full of regret as he spoke, and his brother's hand clutched at his abdomen as he recalled the injury in stark light.
"I would have died." The words were hushed, and Rumil reached out to pat his brother's shoulder. "She saved my life, and said not a word."
"Of course she did not, brother, she never does. She expects nothing, needs nothing except thanks for her deeds which I have tried to repay time after time." Rumil took his hand away as Orophin shrugged it off, face white as a sheet.
"She loves me." The words were not a question but a statement.
"For many years, I would wager. What will you do, Orophin?" His voice was gentle, and as the grey eyes of his brother met his own he could see the fear and the anguish... and the longing.
"I do not know. I have never known."
xxxXxxx
Benny
To my credit, I didn't shed a single tear for a long time as we stood, two separated groups who would head in all but opposite directions. Haldir stood with me, watching over the groups saying farewell and he grasped me tightly, not yet willing to let go.
"Are there any plans for the wedding that you would have me start?" Haldir asked me as he looked on over the company. "I feel I will need whatever distraction I can find to keep me from flying to your arms, position be damned."
I leaned my head against his shoulder and his arm moved to grasp me about the waist. "You could start making a rough guest list, if you like. Once we know numbers, we can plan all the rest – the feast and so on. You know where I keep my stash?" I referred to the money I kept hidden.
"I do, not that I shall need it. I have quite enough of my own, love." He laughed. "Oh Valar, look." He tilted his head to where J and Glorfindel stood, hands clasped and heads bowed together. "I hate how they torture themselves."
"They aren't ready yet." I let myself become wrapped in his warmth and the woody scent I knew so well. "Now hush."
I listened intently and I saw them step back, hands still clasped for a moment before she turned to her horse with a pained expression. He grabbed at her again, bringing her hand to his lips, and I watched them form words that made my heart thud achingly in my chest.
"Write to me?"
Jade blinked away tears that he reached out to brush away, and as she nodded with a blush he let her go and mounted his own horse, riding to the front of the Rivendell-bound party.
"Be well, my lady" He called back as she watched him, fierce joy about his face as she raised a hand and waved before clutching it to her chest. I turned into Haldir then, blinking away my own tears that had come on so suddenly.
"You should go." I croaked, not trusting myself to speak further for a moment. "Will this ever get any easier? Saying goodbye?"
"No, but we are strong enough to bear it and your time in Mirkwood will bring you great joy. I love you, my Bernadette, and my heart shall weep until we are reunited."
"I love you too, and words can't express how much I wish you were coming with me. Stay safe." His lips captured my own in a gentle promise that he would do just that. "Go, Haldir." His hand cupped my face, grey eyes searching for something before he kissed me again and then untangled himself from our embrace.
Haldir's hand remained in my own as he took his own steps back, our eyes locked and the world around us having no other consequence. "I promise, love. I will miss you."
"Bernadette, come on! We need to leave." I heard my father call and I shut my eyes for one last moment.
"I have to go." Haldir nodded, but still didn't let go of my hands. "So do you."
"I know it. It is not so very long." He assured me, and then took my hand to his lips for one lingering kiss, his own eyes closing as I stroked the soft skin of his cheek. "You will barely think of me."
I laughed then, shoving him away. "Now, that is absolute nonsense of the highest order. Go!"
"My lady wounds me." His own eyes were laughing then, the dark grey lifting to a joyful silver. "I shall see you come the autumn!" He called, stepping back and swinging himself up onto the horse he had been granted by Aragorn and rode to where the Lady and Lord Celeborn waited for him.
Others waved at me and I waved back as they began to ride into the distance, and I had to laugh as Glorfindel rode back once more to give Jade a rose he had acquired from somewhere before galloping to meet with the rest of the riders again. Sighing, I patted Morandír's neck as he watched his usual master ride away. "It's just you and me, boy. Think you can cope?"
His head butted my hand and I laid my head against the smooth hair of his neck. I let the tears come silently then, feeling my heart clench for just a moment before straightening and mounting the ridiculously tall horse with much more grace than I had almost a year ago in Elrond's courtyard.
"Benny, get a wiggle on!" Tori called, exasperated, and I let Morandír's comfortable strides bring me up to her side. I was flanked then by J, who looked about as drawn and pale as I did. "You okay?"
"I'll be fine. It's just like when he goes out on patrol." I assured her firmly, trying to make myself believe it.
"Good, can't be doing with you being all maudlin on us. Come on, race you!" She nudged her horse in to action and J looked at me with a curious expression of confusion and amusement.
"Does she even know where she's going?"
"Nope." I answered with a shrug.
"... do you?" She looked shrewd now as I leaned forward to pat the neck of my jet black stallion who was itching to stretch his legs.
"Nope!" I gave him a solid nudge with my heels and he was off like a shot, flying past our small company with a cry as I watched the great trees of Mirkwood draw nearer.
Mirkwood; my home. My past. What would I learn there?
Tut, Thranduil, you should know better than to wind up your subjects...