CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
Though Jesse would usually describe himself as a laidback, easy-going kind of guy, as Beca slowly filled them in on the events of her dinner with Luke, telling him and Benji about how Luke had the nerve to ask her for her help, he couldn't help but grit his teeth together, his eyes flashing, tightening his grip around Beca's waist and pulling her as close to him as possible. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing and he wanted, more than anything, for all of this to stop and for Beca to be safe. Instead of voicing any of this though, not trusting himself to sound calm about everything because he really wasn't, he simply remained silent, pressing his mouth against her hair, just listening, thinking; there had to be something that he could do to fix this, right?
"You know what I don't understand?" Beca said as she reached the end of her story, her voice a lot steadier than it had been a few minutes ago, leaning back and resting her head against his chest whilst Benji gestured for her to continue with a silent nod of his head, "I don't understand why he wants me to teach him how to edit."
Jesse stared down at her, slowly raising an incredulous eyebrow as Beca swivelled in his grip, tilting her head to meet his gaze. "That's the part you don't understand?" he asked, his eyes widening, "Not the part where, you know, he actually thought you'd agree to helping him?"
Beca shrugged, biting her lip. "Well, yeah, I guess I don't understand that either but it's Luke, he always wants something," she finally said, her voice quiet, almost unsure, and Jesse nodded slowly, feeling increasingly helpless, racking his brain as he tried to figure out what to do next. "The thing is, Luke, he—He knows how to edit music already, pretty well too, and I don't get why he'd want me to teach him something he already knows how to do."
Jesse smiled at that, bending his head down until he was closer to her level. "Because you're better," he said confidently, leaning forward and pressing his mouth briefly against her forehead as she frowned, shaking her head, lowering his voice as he continued. "That's why he took your music in the first place, isn't it?" he asked, though it came out more like a statement than a question, "He didn't think he was good enough to get that internship with his own work so he submitted yours instead."
Beca tilted her head, biting her lip, nodding slowly. "It's just weird," she said, still holding his gaze, her eyes slightly unfocused as she thought back to her college days and everything that had happened. "If he wanted my help, he could have just asked me; all this – the games, the lies – it all seems a little extreme, even for Luke."
Jesse shrugged, not quite sure how to answer her without letting his own personal bias shine through; as far as he was concerned, Luke was the sort of person that would do absolutely anything, especially where Beca was concerned, to get his way. They stayed silent, all three of them deep in thought, and just as he was about to suggest that they go home, Benji suddenly stepped forward, his expression solemn.
"Maybe he's desperate," Benji said quietly, and they both turned their heads to face him properly. He met their gazes without blinking but as he continued, his cheeks started to go red, the hand holding his lightsaber nervously twitching by his side. "I mean, I don't know what happened with your music or the internship or—" he trailed off, looking a bit flustered, confused, and Jesse didn't blame him; though he knew that Benji was aware of a lot of things concerning Luke, he was pretty sure that Benji had no idea about what Luke had done the first time he had messed with Beca's life. "Desperate people do crazy things," he finished slowly, with a half shrug.
Beca pursed her lips, mulling over his words carefully. "Yesterday, when Luke called me, he asked me to think about why he was a manager now," she said, thinking out loud, trying her hardest to piece everything together, and Jesse slowly reached for her hand, interlocking their fingers, hoping the gesture would be somewhat reassuring. "I mean, during college he always seemed passionate about editing, mixing, and I don't know, I've always assumed it was another one of his lies, a way to get closer to me, but maybe…"
"Maybe he's telling the truth about this," Benji finished for her, and she shrugged, nodding.
Jesse let out a soft sigh, shaking his head, gripping her hand a little tighter. "Or maybe this is just what he wants you to believe," he said quietly, every fibre in his body refusing to believe that Luke was capable of being honest. Beca bit her lip, shrugged again, her forehead furrowed as she replayed all the conversations she had ever had with Luke in her head, and Jesse, for the thousandth time that night, wished he could take her away from all this.
After a few moments of silence, he opened his mouth to suggest that they all go back to his apartment because standing out here in the cold wasn't going do any of them any good, but as Benji suddenly let out a noise that was suspiciously close to a squeal, his eyes comically wide, he stopped speaking mid-sentence, slowly swivelling on the spot, not at all surprised when he saw Luke watching them from a distance. Jesse took a deep breath, forcing himself to remain calm, meeting Luke's gaze as confidently as possible. As Luke realised that he had their attention, he started walking toward them, stopping when he was a few meters away and raising a hand up in greeting.
"Ignore him," Beca said, pointedly turning her back on him, but it was too late and Jesse gritted his teeth as he heard the British boy speak, loud and clear, his heart sinking as he realised that Luke was addressing him.
"Jesse, can I have a word with you alone?" he asked, his blue eyes flashing, "It won't take long, I swear, I just want to…clear some things up."
Jesse swallowed, breaking eye-contact with Luke and glancing at Benji and Beca instead, a small smile gracing his lips as he saw that they were both shaking their heads, bearing similar looks of badly disguised horror.
"Don't go over there," Beca warned, rising onto her tiptoes, her fingers reaching up to grip the sides of his face, forcing him to look at her as he simply shrugged, meeting her gaze steadily, seriously considering agreeing to talk to Luke because there were plenty of things that he wanted to clear up. "Jesse, don't. It's not worth it. Let's just go home and watch a movie or something, okay?"
Jesse reached up, gently prying her hands away from his face, lifting his head to meet Luke's gaze, quickly making his mind up as Luke raised an eyebrow, his mouth curving up into a smile. "Benji, take Beca back to mine," he said, slowly turning around again, his eyes now on Benji's pale face, running a hand through his hair as Beca immediately started protesting, moving to stand in front of him, her arms crossed.
"I'm not letting you go over there," she told him, her eyes hard, "You know what he's capable of, you know what he could do to you."
Jesse shook his head, shrugged. "Bec, it's okay," he said, "I don't care about any of that, I just, I want to know what he's up to." Beca didn't reply, simply staring up at him defiantly, not moving from her position, her body still blocking his path. Jesse sighed softly, reaching forward and slowly uncrossing her arms, pulling her towards him. "Do you trust me?" he asked, and after a moment's hesitation, she gave him a small nod, eyeing him suspiciously. "Then let me talk to him, I know what I'm doing."
Beca exhaled, biting her lip, searching his face, and though he wasn't sure exactly what she was looking for, he held her gaze all the same. "Okay," she eventually relented, knowing that he wasn't going to back down anytime soon, "Just promise me that you won't do anything stupid."
He nodded.
As soon as she let Jesse go, hoping that she had made the right decision, Benji immediately stepped into action, lightly tugging on the sleeve of her shirt as he tried to pull her down the road, away from Luke. Beca resisted, shaking her head, reluctantly turning her face away from Jesse's retreating back to meet Benji's patient gaze, her expression making it clear that she wasn't leaving, not unless Jesse was with them and in one piece.
"Beca, let's go," Benji insisted gently, still pulling on her shirt, and she raised an eyebrow, a little confused by his reaction. "I don't want to leave Jesse with Luke either," he added, "but Luke said he wanted to talk to Jesse alone and, um, I don't think that point's negotiable." Beca sighed, turning back to face Luke again, slowly nodding as Luke stared right back at her, deliberately tilting his head to the side, waving a hand dismissively at her.
"Okay, fine, let's go," she said, with another sigh, finally surrendering to Benji's tugs, not at all happy about the situation they were currently in but knowing that she didn't really have a choice because Jesse was just as stubborn as Luke and neither of them were going to back down tonight.
They started walking in silence, Beca keeping her eyes trained ahead whilst Benji kept nervously glancing between her and the lightsaber he was still clutching in his hand. She forced herself to take deep breaths as they moved, trying not to panic over what might be happening behind her, and as she clenched her fists, the feeling of her nails digging into her palms helping her to focus on reality instead of the jumbled mess that was her thoughts, Benji suddenly started speaking, instinctively knowing that she needed some sort of distraction.
"Beca, do you think I can, um, listen to some of your work one day?" he asked, almost shyly, and she turned, eyeing him with surprise, "I'd really like to hear it."
As she continued staring at him, causing Benji's cheeks to flush, looking suddenly uncomfortable under her gaze, she smiled gently, reassuringly, fishing out her iPod from her pocket, loading one of her mixes and handing it over to him. He glanced down at it, his face still red, but as he started listening, his nervous energy dissipated almost immediately and he smiled at her widely, admiration clear in his voice as he commented on it with more musical insight than she expected.
"Hey, you weren't in an a capella group when you were in college, were you?" she quipped without thinking, eyebrow raised, impressed by his knowledge, her smile faltering as Benji promptly fell silent, looking embarrassed. "That was a joke," she amended hastily, feeling a little like an idiot, "It's just that everyone I've met lately seems to have been involved in a capella during college, of all things, and—never mind, it wasn't funny, ignore me."
"I, um, I wasn't involved in a capella, not really," Benji replied slowly, and Beca frowned, narrowing her eyes slightly, her gut instinct telling her that Benji wasn't telling her the whole truth. "I was a huge fan though, especially of the Treblemakers; I don't know if Jesse's shown you any of his videos but he's got an amazing voice, really great, and—"
"Wait, you knew Jesse back then?" Beca asked, eyebrow raised, "He's never mentioned that to me."
"I knew of Jesse," Benji corrected, with a small shake of his head. "He, um, I don't think he knew I existed, considering that we went to different colleges and I never had the nerve to approach him but—Beca, don't tell him, will you? I don't want him to think that I'm really weird or obsessive or…"
"Jesse would never think that about you, you know that," she cut in, smiling gently at him, before frowning again as she replayed his words and the way he sounded like he was speaking from past experience. "Wait a second, Benji, did someone say all those things to you?"
Benji averted his gaze, clearly uncomfortable, and Beca bit her lip, shaking her head in disbelief, not understanding how anyone could have said those things about Benji because sure, he was a little different, but he was kind and nice and so genuinely good. "Yeah, um, there was this guy, his name was Bumper," Benji said slowly, and Beca bit her lip a little harder, her eyes widening slightly, because of course, it was Bumper. "I really wanted to be part of his a capella group but he, um, he disliked me from day one and made sure I never got in, even though I auditioned every year and went to every performance. I guess it just…wasn't meant to be."
Beca sighed heavily at that, resting a hand on his arm as she smiled up at him, as brightly as possible. "You're better off without him," she said honestly, and Benji slowly smiled back, gradually returning back to his usual self as he held her gaze, "and trust me, you're not weird or obsessive."
"Yeah?"
She nodded firmly, still smiling at him, before glancing over his shoulder and frowning slightly as she realised that they were just as far away from Jesse's apartment as they had been five minutes ago. "Uh, Benji, where are we going?" she asked, eyebrow raised.
Benji just shrugged in response, leading her towards a bench nearby. "Um, well, I didn't want to leave Jesse completely alone with Luke so we've been…circling," he said, tilting his head towards the right and she blinked, squinting in the direction he had indicated, surprise flashing across her face as she could just about make out Jesse's head, "I thought the walk might help you take your mind off things."
She smiled gratefully, slowly sitting down beside him, her eyes fixed on the two boys in the distance. "I'm sorry for ruining your night," she said, "I'm guessing that sitting out here in the cold wasn't exactly what you expected to happen when you agreed to watch Star Wars with Jesse."
Benji shook his head, carefully placing his lightsaber on his lap, making sure that it wasn't going to fall. "You didn't ruin anything," he replied, and though it was hard to believe, given the circumstances, she could tell that he meant it wholeheartedly. Benji fell silent for a few moments, seemingly deep in thought, before speaking again, his voice hesitant. "You know, Jesse was one of the reasons why I took the job at Chloe's," he said shyly, and Beca glanced over at him, sensing that what he was about to tell her wasn't something he had ever told anyone before. "When I walked into my interview, I was so nervous because I'd never had an interview for anything before but then I saw Jesse, recognised him immediately, and I was even more nervous because I, um, I was such a big fan of the Treblemakers and I guess I was scared he was going to be like Bumper," he paused, taking a deep breath, his cheeks flushing slightly as he continued. "Jesse was so nice to me though, and so was Chloe, and I'm just really, really glad that I got to meet them and, in the process, meet you too."
Beca smiled, nodded. "You're a pretty cool guy, Benji," she told him, her smile growing wider as Benji beamed back, holding her gaze for a moment, before proceeding to cheerfully tell her about how he had acquired the limited edition lightsaber of his that was currently perched on his lap.
If he was being completely honest with himself, Jesse knew that, contrary to what he had told Beca, he didn't have any idea what he was doing. All he knew was that he needed to talk to Luke, get some answers, but he wasn't really sure how to go about it or whether Luke would even let him get a word in. To his surprise though, as he made his way over to Luke, throwing a subtle glance over his shoulder to make sure that Benji was leading Beca away like he had asked, Luke didn't say a word, simply watching him silently, thoughtfully. Jesse met his gaze coolly, slowly crossing his arms, and the two of them stared at each other for minutes, both of them daring the other to speak first. As the silence became unbearable, Jesse exhaled heavily, shaking his head ever so slightly as he opened his mouth, still holding Luke's gaze.
"Why are you doing this?" he asked, a little frustrated at Luke's continued silence and the fact that he still seemed intent on messing with Beca's life, "Haven't you done enough to her?"
Luke shrugged slowly, taking a small step forward. "I'm not trying to start anything," he replied calmly, and Jesse scoffed audibly, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. "I swear, I'm not," he continued, ignoring Jesse's reaction, "I really do need her help."
"After everything you've put her through, do you seriously think she's going to help you?" Jesse asked, his eyes wide with disbelief, unable to comprehend how a guy like this even existed; how could he be so blind, so oblivious, to what he had done?
"Yeah, I do," Luke replied, his eyes flashing dangerously, and Jesse ran a hand through his hair, trying to remain as unruffled as the boy in front of him, "She'll help me, as long as you stay out of it." He blinked at that, a look of confusion crossing over his face, and Luke let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. "If it wasn't for you, she would have agreed to help me ages ago."
"No, she wouldn't have," he immediately retorted, gritting his teeth as Luke just smiled at him, giving him a look that was almost pitying. "Just leave her alone, Luke," he said, his voice a little quieter now, more controlled. "What you did to her, there's no going back from that and it'll be better for everyone, you included, if you just walk away now."
Luke pursed his lips, his blue eyes still trained on his face, and Jesse let himself feel hopeful for a split-second before his heart sank again as Luke shook his head. "I can't do that," he said, and Jesse sighed, clenching his fists in frustration because Luke just didn't get it, he just didn't understand what he had put Beca through. "What I need from you, Jesse," he continued, almost conversationally, "is for you to stay out of it. Completely. All this, it's between Beca and I, it has nothing to do with you, or that...friend of yours, the one with the snails."
As Jesse quickly started protesting, words flying from his mouth, Luke put his hand out, gesturing for him to stop speaking and after taking a deep breath, and uncharacteristically muttering a string of swear words under his breath, he did just that, silently crossing his arms again.
"I'm not the bad guy here," Luke insisted several times, and Jesse immediately opened his mouth to speak, his eyebrows rising in disbelief because seriously? How could Luke stand there and say that to him? "Listen to me, Jesse, you don't understand," he said, looking more serious than he had done all night, "I know I've made some mistakes, and I've done things I'm not proud of, but Beca, well, she was damaged way before I met her. This isn't my fault, not entirely; if you're looking for someone to blame, blame her dad."
Jesse blinked, gaping at Luke as his words sank in, feeling months worth of anger rise up in him at the sheer nerve of the other boy. "What the hell you talking about?" he demanded, wincing slightly as his voice came out hoarser than usual, "Beca's not damaged, she's absolutely fine."
"No, she's not," Luke replied, shaking her head, and Jesse instinctively clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms, his breathing getting heavier as he tried his best to remain calm because what did Luke know about Beca? Nothing. "Come on, Jesse, you're an intelligent guy," he continued, "You must have noticed how guarded she is, how untrusting, and I know you think you can fix her, make her better, but she's a lost cause, Jesse. You can't save her."
"Luke, shut up," he said slowly, cutting him off, getting dangerously close to his breaking point, needing Luke to just stop talking before he did something he'd regret later. Luke pursed his lips, slowly meeting his gaze, his blue eyes flashing as he simply shrugged, cocked an eyebrow, examining him with renewed interest.
"Or what?"
Jesse took a step forward, holding Luke's gaze, opening his mouth to speak, retort, but before he could get any words out, before he could really think about what he was doing, he had lifted his arm up, his fist still clenched, and aimed it towards him, catching the side of his face. Luke stumbled backwards, clearly taken aback, but Jesse was so stunned, both at what he had done and just how much his hand was now hurting, that as Luke stepped forward again, his expression determined, he didn't have enough time to duck properly as Luke swung his fist in his direction, making contact with his jaw. As he blindly staggered backwards from the impact, his hand instinctively rising to gingerly touch his face, the only thought running through his head was not the steadily rising pain in his other hand, or the new unfamiliar numbness in his jaw, or even, the way the corner of Luke's mouth was curled upwards almost triumphantly, but that, damn it, he had made a promise to Beca that he wouldn't do anything stupid and he had just broken it.