Time: 2100\
March 20 2530\
Earth
I'm on Earth. It's sort of...surreal. I haven't been here since I was five, for that damn ball Grandfather Terry insisted I attend. Granted, I spent most of my time complaining about the dress I had to wear and running away to play in the ocean, but I don't remember this world being so...small. It just feels like I've outgrown this world, which is really sad when I think about it. This is a planet I've only been to three times in my life, the birth place of the human race, and I've outgrown it. Space, with all it's darkness and danger, is more of a home to me than this little blue and green marble.
Not that I've had much time to wax poetic about how I feel on this lump of rock. Eric sent me to attend a special training course that is mandatory for all ODSTs that are thinking about becoming officers. This begs the question of why I'm here; I have no interest or intention to become an officer. Besides putting me directly to ONI's attention, such a promotion would also include a significant increase in paperwork and responsibilities. I can handle both, sure, but it would cut into the time I could actually spend on battlefields, doing the work that I was made to do. Eric understands that, but most other UNSC members don't. They get weird when I tell them that I'm happy as a Squad Leader and see no reason to go any higher.
Hmm...now that I'm thinking about it, maybe that's why Eric sent me. This training makes it look like I'm thinking of doing more.
Back to the training; it's actually been a bit of a challenge. Not the work, so much, but rather the holding back and not revealing what I can do. The ODSTs on the ship have gotten used to some of my quieter enhancements. It's just a fact of life to them that I'm always a bit faster and a bit stronger than they are. Denial and ignorance are certainly powerful tools, and I should utilize them in others more often. Down on the planet, however, I'm being faced with soldiers that have never worked with me. To them, my speed and strength aren't natural parts of being me. They'd note the unnaturalness of my ability in seconds, so I'm having to scale everything back. However, that is confusing the ODSTs that came down for the training with me. They know what I'm capable of, or at least they think they do, and they know I'm not giving it my 'all'. So really, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
And, just in case that wasn't enough, this training course is observed. That, I don't mind, but every session has it's own set of six officers that watch all of us get the crap beat out of us. This session has four officers I don't know from a hole in the wall, but the last two are Admiral Lord Terrance Hood and Admiral Margaret Parangosky.
Yep, you read correctly. I am being observed by one of the highest ranked Admirals in the UNSC fleet and the Head of ONI, aka: my grandparents. Never in my life have I been more thankful for the opaque setting on my helmet. I'm also thinking I must have stolen some of John's luck, because the few times I'm not allowed to wear my helmet, such as private time in the barracks or meal time, the observing officers aren't present. Those times are when they get their own work done, so they don't give us a passing thought. Also, to the best of my knowledge, our photos are not included in the files that the officers are given to make notes in as they watch. Seriously, this is some John level luck.
It's such a strange feeling, knowing how close my oldest life is. I have to remind myself again and again that I can't just run up to them and tell them the truth. Grandfather would be ecstatic, I don't doubt, but Grandmother...she's so different now. The Grandmother Margaret I remember was harsh outside the family, yes, but there was something warm about her that anyone could feel...except for the person that actively pissed her off. That warmth is gone now, and what little intel I've been able to gather insists that it vanished when her youngest granddaughter died from an unknown illness. From that point on, Admiral Parangosky has been the Ice Queen to everyone, including her own family. If I come out and tell her the truth, about what happened to me and how I escaped, how will she react? Will she welcome me back? Or will she execute me as a deserter? I can't help but feel responsible for her change, even though I know it's not my fault. I didn't ask to be kidnapped or turned into a living weapon, nor did I ask for a clone to be left in my place. I keep daring myself to get up and move to her.
But I never do.
Babble time: The song this chapter is based on is Dare You to Move by Switchfoot.