Total Drama Insanity
In this chapter, our heroes are going to enter a mansion full of zombies...once again they'll be using the handy dandy simulation helmets. Once again, it's going to be rather scary...and once again, there's going to be zombies.
And once again, Blaineley is going to get a camper to eliminate other campers from the challenge...isn't she sadistic? Then again so was Chris...hopefully she'll receive her just desserts like he did...you're hoping for that, right?
Chapter 34: Resident Island
As usual, Blaineley was standing outside on the docks. She seemed mildly disappointed about something.
"Hey there audience...or whatever I should refer to you as...welcome back to Total Drama...in the last episode, I made the campers participate in a Mario Party challenge...and yes, I made them participate in several grueling minigames...in which bad things happened to the loser! Heh heh heh." answered Blaineley.
"Some of the challenges including a race car match...climbing up a tree...avoiding being caught by Chef while in a hedgerow maze...and last but certainly not least, knocking your opponent off a miniature mountain. I personally loved what happened to Dawn. Hahaha." noted the hostess.
"Unfortunately, it appeared that the campers didn't want me to use Brick to sabotage them anymore, so they booted him off the island. I guess they just didn't want to play my game. Ah well. I've already moved on to another camper...he'll be a valuable asset to me during the next challenge. Heh heh heh!"
"Anyways, for the next challenge...guess what? It's going to be simulated once again...how the show has money to make simulation helmets, I have no idea. It's one of the wonders of the universe!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"Anyways, it's time for the next episode of Total...Drama...Insanity!"
One theme song later...
As it turned out, Mike, Duncan, Ezekiel, B, Lightning were discussing the elimination the night before. It was somewhat of a tragedy.
"Do we think the right choice by eliminating Brick? He was our friend after all..." noted Mike.
B had a frown on his face. It just wouldn't be the same without him. Then again, the longer a season went on, the more tragic the bonfire ceremonies became. Personally he wondered if he was lucky that he got removed from the last season as early as he did...though personally he was glad that Scott left early this time.
"I figured that he would always tell us what to do since he was a military cadet and all that." noted Duncan.
"It's a shame that Blaineley chose him to be a pawn in his schemes, eh?" noted Ezekiel.
"I suppose it was for the best. He was rather understanding." said Mike.
"I just wonder who she's going to choose next..." noted Duncan.
B began to worry.
"You're right...she could use anyone of us to twist the game to her own ends." noted the teenager with multiple personality disorder.
"Are we safe?" inquired Ezekiel.
"Lightning is safe! She wouldn't want anything to do with me!" exclaimed the teenager.
"What makes you sure?" asked Mike.
"Lightning's the strongest camper on this island!" bellowed the jock.
B raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not understanding your logic." answered Ezekiel, raising an eyebrow as he did so.
"Whatever! Lightning will never get manipulated!" exclaimed the teenage boy.
"Right..." replied Duncan sarcastically.
"I hope you're right." nodded Mike. It was bad enough what happened to Brick as it was, and he really didn't want anyone else to suffer the same fate.
Confessional: Lightning is tempting fate.
Mike: I'm going to miss Brick's military salutes.
B: *he pulls out a picture of Blaineley in a devil costume*
Lightning: *he is flexing his muscles for the camera*
Ezekiel: At least she probably wouldn't use me eh...I'm just a farm boy...right?
Duncan: Well, time to give her another phone call...this one is going to be epic.
Let's check on the girls...
Izzy, Dawn, and Zoey were rather happy to be in the final eight to say the very least...in particular, Dawn, no small part due to her early elimination last season.
"Well, it looks like we're in the final eight." noted Dawn.
"Just a week before the competition ends!" exclaimed Izzy.
"Yes, I know...it's a shame that Brick couldn't be part of this...I hope he's happy at the playa." noted the moonchild.
"I suppose we couldn't all make it to the final eight..." answered Zoey.
"Yeah, the show can be cruel like that..." nodded Dawn.
"It's a shame that Owen couldn't be here..." spoke Izzy.
"Yeah...things haven't been looking up for him since he won the first season and then blew away the money, isn't it?" inquired the moonchild.
Izzy frowned.
"Then again if he hadn't chosen to do so there might not have been a fifth season...or even a second one...funny how that works." noted Dawn.
Zoey shrugged. It was surprising what a small change in the time stream could do.
"Anyways, I wonder if the next challenge is going to be based on a video game as well." questioned the moonchild.
"Knowing Blaineley it's going to be horribly violent." noted the indie chick.
"Violence? Hooray!" exclaimed Izzy.
"Why do you like violence so much?" inquired Zoey.
"It appears that she has a troubled past." said Dawn, using her empathic abilities to see Izzy's backstory.
"That explains a lot." noted the indie chick.
Confessional: Is Izzy growing crazier by the day?
Izzy: Hahahaha!
Dawn: I'm feeling worried about Izzy.
Zoey: I wonder if Mike is going to be the next camper to go...I'm feeling worried.
Later at the mess hall...
"There's only one more week before we can leave Blaineley behind for good. Isn't it great?" inquired Mike.
"I agree. She's done nothing but be cruel to us eh." said Ezekiel.
B had a big smile on his face.
"I wonder where Duncan is..." inquired Dawn.
Suddenly, Blaineley received another phone call.
"This feels familiar..." noted the hostess.
"I think I know what's going to happen next..." noted Zoey.
"Oh boy oh boy!" squealed Izzy.
Sure enough, Blaineley received yet another phone call.
"Is there someone by the name of I'm A Stupid Moron With An Ugly Face And A Big Butt And My Butt Smells And I Like To Kiss My Own Butt here?" inquired Duncan.
"What? I'm A Stupid Moron With An Ugly Face And A Big Butt And My Butt Smells And I Like To Kiss My Own Butt?! I'm not falling for that." answered the hostess.
Suddenly, she noticed that the campers were already laughing.
"That was the best one yet!" exclaimed Lightning.
"Oh c'mon!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"That was priceless!" bellowed Duncan on the phone.
"That does it! Death is now officially too good for you! When I catch you, I'm going to use Egyptian magic to make you immortal...then I'm going to wrap you up like a mummy and stuff you in a coffin...and then I'm going to use flesh-eating scarabs to devour your flesh so that you'll have to endure the agony of your wounds forever! How about that!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"Wow..." murmured Mike.
"You better sleep with your eyes open." answered Blaineley as she hanged up the phone.
"How would Blaineley use Egyptian magic anyway?" inquired Dawn. "I'm not sure that even exists."
"She can always imagine." noted Zoey.
Confessional: I'm pretty sure you know which movie I'm referencing...if you're a horror movie fan.
Izzy: Izzy loves flesh-eating scarab beetles!
Duncan: She's going to make me immortal? It's going to be interesting living forever.
Dawn: I don't believe that scarab beetles actually eat human flesh...they're in fact scavengers.
Lightning: Maybe Lightning should try giving Blaineley a prank phone call.
Blaineley: *she is holding the Book Of The Dead and is reading the first page* I mustn't read from the b-oh c'mon!
A few minutes later...
Duncan slipped into the room while Blaineley wasn't noticing. He chuckled to himself knowing that she still hadn't caught him after all this time.
"Now that I've hopefully put an end to all those horrible prank phone calls...guess what? It's time for yet another simulated challenge!" exclaimed Blaineley.
The campers immediately groaned.
"Hey, it's not like any of you are actually going to get hurt...unless you accidentally bump your heads putting on the simulated helmets." explained the hostess.
"You're not making us feel any better." answered Zoey.
"Whatever! Can you guess what video game series this is going to be based on?" inquired Blaineley.
"We're doing another video game challenge?" inquired Dawn.
"As a matter of fact, yes we are. Is anyone of you going to answer my question?" nodded Blaineley.
"Well, the last challenge was based on a Mario video game...is it Legend Of Zelda?" asked Mike.
"Nope, it's a Capcom video game series." answered the hostess.
"Is it Megaman?" asked Lightning.
"No, James vehemently told me not to make a Megaman challenge...it would be completely and utterly unoriginal...and I'm sick of him yelling at me all the time." answered Blaineley.
"Oh." nodded Ezekiel.
"Is it...Resident Evil?" inquired Duncan.
"You are correct, sir!" exclaimed the hostess.
"Yes!" exclaimed the bully.
Immediately, the other seven campers began to feel very worried. Even Lightning seemed to be sweating a bit.
"R-resident E-Evil?" asked Ezekiel.
"Yes...using these simulated helmets I've placed outside you'll be entering the world of survival horror...oh, and a fancy-looking mansion...not sure why someone would stuff a mansion full of zombies...but anyways...have fun finding the secret laboratory!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"There's a secret laboratory below the mansion?" asked Dawn.
"I'm pretty sure everyone who's played Resident Evil knows that...then again, the Spencer Mansion got blown to pieces during the first game...so yeah..." answered Blaineley.
B began to feel very nervous. Would the zombies eat his brains? Thank goodness it was only a simulation.
"Now then, step outside so you can put on the helmets." nodded Blaineley.
The campers reluctantly nodded as they stepped outside to do as the hostess demanded.
Confessional: Blaineley loves scaring the pants off of the campers apparently.
Mike: I have to protect Zoey, no matter the cost...
Ezekiel: What exactly is a zombie anyway eh?
Izzy: Yay! Izzy loves killing zombies!
B: *he is shivering*
"Wait...didn't we already do a zombie challenge?" inquired Zoey.
"That was a Plants vs. Zombies challenge. They were made by two different video game developers entirely." answered Blaineley.
"Oh." nodded the indie chick.
"Graarghh!" bellowed a familiar voice.
"When will he ever leave me alone?" thought Blaineley.
Sure enough, James emerged from the ground using a drill...much like a zombie itself.
"CragmiteBlaster already made a challenge just like this!" exclaimed the boy.
"Actually, that was a Silent Hill challenge. This one is a Resident Evil challenge." explained Blaineley.
Curiously enough, this actually seemed to calm James down.
"Never mind then." answered James as he walked away.
"Now then...before I'm rudely interrupted again...all of you put on your helmets." demanded Blaineley.
The campers did so, though personally they thought that the challenge was going to suck.
Sure enough, they found themselves in the world of survivor horror as Blaineley had said...in this case, they were inside a mansion.
"This mansion sure is huge, isn't it eh?" noted Ezekiel.
B nodded his head in agreement...though he personally doubted that anyone actually lived here. Who would want to live in a mansion full of flesh-eating zombies?
"Let's open the entrance!" exclaimed Izzy.
"Um, Blaineley, that's probably not a good id-"
Dawn was cut off when Izzy opened the door anyway...letting in a zombie dog...otherwise known as a Cerberus.
Sure enough, it began to try to bite the redhead in the arm. Fortunately, she was able to shoot it in the head, killing it instantly.
"Blaineley's making us kill animals now? Now she's really crossing the line." noted Dawn.
B nodded in agreement.
Confessional: How can Blaineley be so cruel?
Blaineley: What? The animals were zombified! And it's not like they had much before...all animals ever have is instinct.
Dawn: I don't think I can make a zombie animal preserve, unfortunately...
Izzy: Heel, boy!
Mike: Maybe if I give the zombie dogs a doggy treat they won't attack me? Then again they do seem to crave human flesh.
Lightning: Lightning's not going to be dog chow! I can promise that!
"At least all we have to worry about is killing zombies, right?" asked Zoey.
"Probably not...there's probably going to be more than just zombies...I bet there's going to be deathtraps too." said Mike.
"That is correct." answered a feminine voice.
"What? Who's there?" inquired Zoey.
"You should know." she answered back.
As it turns out, Blaineley had also simulated herself inside the game. She was standing at the center of the foyer. The campers looked around and rolled their eyes.
"What do you want?" asked Mike.
"Just wanted to let you know that as the challenge progresses...I'm going to keep adding more and more monsters in the mansion...as well as some traps...now to mention I'll also be adding more deadly monsters as time progresses...so good luck surviving! Eventually I'll even start adding bosses! Heh heh heh!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"Darn it Blaineley..." murmured Zoey.
"Oh...and guess what? You've all been split into four teams for the challenge...whoever survives the longest are the winners...and yes...just two of you are going to be able to win immunity this time." said Blaineley.
"OK then..." answered Duncan.
"Anyways...Duncan and Lightning...you're team number one. Dawn and B, you're team number two...Zoey and Mike, you're team number three. Ezekiel and Izzy...you're team number four." explained Blaineley.
The campers nodded to make it clear that they understood, Dawn, B, Zoey, and Mike were particularly looking forward to working together.
"If one of you is still alive by the end of the challenge...you'll win it for you and your teammate. Understood?" inquired the hostess.
"Yes." nodded Dawn.
"Oh...and I'm not going to even limit myself to one Resident Evil game! I'm going to try adding monsters from other Resident Evil games too...so have fun survivi-"
Blaineley was cut off when suddenly Duncan shot a bullet at Blaineley, causing her to burst into red and yellow pixels.
"Nailed her!" exclaimed Duncan.
Confessional: Take that, Blaineley!
Blaineley: Hmph! Duncan has some nerve.
Zoey: Ha! That was hilarious!
Dawn: Blaineley actually simulated herself in the challenge this time? Interesting...
Mike: That'll teach her to manipulate Brick and sabotage our efforts.
Izzy: Izzy wishes she thought of that!
Blaineley scowled as she found herself back on reality television. She was having so much fun taunting the campers, and Duncan ruined it for her.
But no matter. She still had access to the control board so she could add virtually anything to the challenge she wanted to. Heck, she could even make the mansion flood with lava.
"I guess I'll start small for now...though personally I'm hoping Duncan gets killed first." noted Blaineley as she added a few zombies to the mansion.
Sure enough, the campers began to hear the zombies moaning. It was clear that they were inside the mansion with them. Thankfully, since the challenge was simulated, they couldn't actually be infected with the t-virus.
"So, are you ready to shoot some zombies?" inquired Zoey.
"I sure am." nodded Mike.
"Maybe if we're lucky they'll drop ammo that we could use for our weapons." said Dawn.
"Or maybe if we're really lucky they'll drop stronger weapons...all we have so far is a pistol and a knife eh." noted Ezekiel.
B smiled. Wishful thinking always made him feel better.
"It's a good thing that we're apparently not going to bleed when we get injured...that would make us feel really squeamish...assuming what happened to Blaineley was standard for the challenge." noted Dawn.
"Yeah..." nodded Mike.
Sure enough, Lightning began to shoot at the zombies...they only took a few bullets to kill.
"Man, this is way too easy!" thought the jock.
Sure enough, the zombies did in fact drop bullets to resupply his pistol...though none of them actually dropped a better weapon.
"Hmph." noted Lightning.
As it turned out, the other campers were also killing the zombies...since they were rather slow, none of them were able to reach them.
"Hey, so far this challenge isn't so bad..." noted Zoey.
"Well, Blaineley said that it was eventually going to get a lot worse. She said that she's not going to even limit herself to original Resident Evil monsters...I personally wonder if she's going to use some from Resident Evil 4..." noted Mike.
"True..." nodded the indie chick.
Confessional: Yes...this challenge isn't going to simply be limited to the original Resident Evil.
Zoey: I bet she's probably going to send more of those zombie hounds after us...Dawn warned Izzy not to open that door.
Dawn: I actually managed to score a headshot on one of the zombies...and I haven't even used a firearm eh.
Ezekiel: Remind myself not to play with guns...unless there are zombies and video games involved.
Lightning: Lightning's pistol is as fast as...well lightning!
Sure enough, the campers began to hear the sound of dogs barking. Apparently, the Cerberuses were going to be trying to use them as dog kibble pretty soon.
"Uh-oh..." thought Dawn.
One of them burst through the window, trying to maul Dawn and B. Fortunately, Dawn was able to shoot it in the face.
"Hmm...people have always said that I had an affinity for nature and whatnot...I wonder..." said the girl.
Sure enough, another Cerberus appeared, along with a regular zombie.
Curious, Dawn decided to use her special powers to see if she could take control over one...which she actually managed to do so.
Sure enough, the Cerberus decided to attack the zombie instead...who simply lied there as it ripped him to shreds.
"Why do zombies have to be so dumb?" inquired Dawn.
B shrugged.
Outside the simulation, Blaineley sighed. Using animals to attack Dawn and B was now clearly out of the question...but no matter. She had other ways to eliminate them.
"I guess I'll send the giant spiders after Zoey and Mike then." said Blaineley as she pressed a button.
Sure enough, a few giant spiders began to leap after the duo.
"Are they venomous?" inquired Zoey.
As a matter of fact, they were.
Fortunately, as it turned out, there were several herbs nearby that they could use to not only heal themselves, but to cure poison.
"Blaineley sure is being awfully generous..." said Mike.
Suddenly, some of the herbs began to wilt.
"No!" exclaimed Zoey. Apparently they shouldn't tempt fate like they did just now.
"Well, at least we got something." answered her boyfriend as he handed her a herb spray.
"Thanks." answered the indie chick.
Confessional: How many games about zombies are there?
Zoey: I wonder if I'm going to be the final girl...this video game series is based on horror movies, right?
Mike: Is Blaineley going to blow up the mansion? I sure hope not.
Blaineley: Maybe I am being too generous with the herbs...at least they'll eventually wilt sooner or later.
"As for you Ezekiel and Izzy...have fun dealing with this man with a chainsaw." said Blaineley.
Suddenly, Ezekiel and Izzy began to hear the sound of a chainsaw revving.
"Did one of the campers get ahold of a chainsaw eh?" asked Ezekiel.
"They got a chainsaw?! I'm jealous!" exclaimed Izzy.
"To be honest, I'm feeling a bit jealous too. All we have right now is a pistol..." answered the boy.
Suddenly, Dr. Salvador began to rush straight towards them with his chainsaw.
"Aah!" exclaimed Ezekiel as he began to run.
Unfortunately, he tripped, allowing Dr. Salvador the opportunity to cut his head off.
Fortunately, Izzy managed to shoot the deranged doctor with a pistol, causing him to try attacking her instead.
Unfortunately for Dr. Salvador, Izzy managed to kick him in the groin, causing him to fall over in pain.
This gave her the opportunity to kill Dr. Salvador...with his own chainsaw.
"Ah la ironia!" exclaimed the doctor as he was slain by his own weapon.
"We got him!" bellowed Ezekiel.
"I call dibs on the chainsaw!" exclaimed Izzy.
"That seems fair eh." answered the farm boy.
Confessional: Chainsaw goodness.
Izzy: This challenge is going to be so awesome!
Ezekiel: Well, now we'll be able to defend ourselves better eh.
As it turned out, Lightning and Duncan had to face...a giant snake.
"A giant snake?" inquired Duncan as he began to yawn.
"Should we call this giant snake Yawn? It's going to be a pushover!" exclaimed Lightning.
"Sure, why not." answered the bully as he began to shoot at the snake.
Sure enough, the giant snake didn't cause them too much trouble, and it eventually retreated after it realized that it was outmatched.
"Phew..." murmured Duncan.
"We are the champions!" exclaimed Lightning.
"Um...sure." nodded the bully.
"We're going to win this challenge for sure!" bellowed the jock.
"Whatever you say." answered Duncan.
Unfortunately for the duo, Blaineley really wanted Duncan dead.
"I know just what to do with him." said Blaineley.
Pressing a few buttons, a trapdoor suddenly appeared underneath the bully's feet.
"Huh?" inquired Duncan.
The trapdoor sprung open, causing him to fall.
"Aah!" bellowed the bully.
"Uh-oh..." thought Lightning.
SPLASH!
"Where am I?" inquired Duncan.
Suddenly, Neptunes began to swarm the unfortunate bully.
"Aah! Help me!" he bellowed.
Shortly afterwards, Duncan burst into black and green pixels, much like Blaineley had before him.
"I guess Lightning's going to have to do this challenge by himself." noted Lightning.
Confessional: And to think Duncan liked the horror movie Jaws.
Duncan: I am never going for a swim again.
Lightning: Lightning can kill sharks with ease! Too bad my partner couldn't.
"There...now that he's gone...it's time to add a twist to the game..." said Blaineley.
Suddenly, a rocket launcher appeared in Lightning's hands.
"Whoa!" he exclaimed.
Curious, he decided to look at his new weapon.
"Well, this is a pleasant surprise! I bet I could kill any monster with this!" exclaimed Lightning.
Suddenly, a sticky note appeared on the rocket launcher.
"Huh?" asked the jock.
"USE ON FELLOW CAMPERS." read the sticky note.
"Use on fellow campers?" inquired Lightning.
Another sticky note appeared on the rocket launcher.
"BY ALL MEANS, DO IT. IT'LL MAKE WINNING THE CHALLENGE MUCH EASIER." read the second sticky note.
Lightning shrugged.
"Lightning supposes why not." answered the jock.
Yet another sticky note appeared on the rocket launcher.
"YES! YOU ARE THE BEST CAMPER EVER!" read the third sticky note.
"Thank you!" exclaimed Lightning.
A fourth sticky note appeared on the rocket launcher.
"YOU'RE WELCOME!" read the fourth sticky note.
"Now to look for the other campers." thought Lightning.
Meanwhile..
"Well, it's time for a commercial break...when we come back, you're going to get to watch Lightning eliminate the other campers from the challenge! How about that!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"And yes, I know I already did this with Brick...but this was simply a good opportunity to pass up. Besides, I simply thought this challenge wasn't horrifying enough." answered the hostess.
"You didn't?!" exclaimed Chef in astonishment.
"Why do you act so surprised?" answered Blaineley.
"I'm a fully grown man and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have nightmares after this challenge." said the cook.
"Well, I'm going to have some pretty sweet dreams after this one, so there. So go use the bathroom or something while we get back." explained Blaineley.
Ironically enough, Chef was about to soil his pants due to the scariness of the challenge, so he seized the opportunity.
"See you in a few minutes!" exclaimed the hostess.
And our eight campers have found themselves in survival horror...who will survive and who will become victims? We all know that Duncan became one...though this was due to Blaineley being biased against him...
And worst of all, can the campers deal with one of their own? Then again they already did that with Brick as Blaineley noted earlier...but can they do so again?
Find out in the next chapter of Total...Drama...Insanity!