Pride & Prejudice D.B.Z
Chapter Thirty Six
Bulma felt the escaping tears stinging against her paling skin and wiped them out of existence with the back of her icy hand but as soon as they were forced away more would follow in a never ending possibly infinite process so that she eventually gave up, allowing them to continue forming branching rivers across her cheeks. She could hear Vegeta's footsteps behind her, growing faster with each of her dreading heart beats, the sadness of his words consuming her further as she turned to her left speedily and found herself in the area of a stretch of empty green grass, mowed out well with one tall standing yet slightly withered old tree off in the distance and with that picture locked in her mind she began treading towards it's silhouette as the sun began to set, engulfing the skies above in a soft warm pink glow.
"Death trap…sentimental rubbish…that's all he thinks it is…an idiot's game!" she muttered in a low effortless voice to herself and it came out in haggard breaths, as if she was having difficulty breathing but it was only the feel of her heart breaking into decaying pieces, crumbling off into endless nothing, taking away all her hopes, fantasies and dreams with it, simple as that.
"ChiChi was wrong…" she continued to mumble in a hoarse voice, unable to and strictly not wanting to believe it but assured of the fact now at long last. "Vegeta doesn't love me…he loves no one…he is incapable of love… he doesn't feel love at all…I was stupid not to see it…"
Her tears were so set, layered out before her eyes that she had difficulty seeing where that tree she had located only a moment ago was and in the end gave up with a defeated sigh and fell to her knees in the dried up ancient grass of the park, her hands clasped together upon her knees with her head bent down, covered by the layers of her blue hair being carried effortlessly with the harsh wind around her. She shivered at its majestic force and hugged herself tightly for warmth in the extra layer of her favorite grey turtleneck but somehow it just wouldn't help her, the warmth was just so phony, so fake it seemed to have no effect whatsoever for it was her inner self that was freezing, the inner self which needed consoling to warm it once again.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??"
She was so used to that voice, the way it always addressed her in that familiar commanding tone that she didn't have the energy to waste in turning around to look at Vegeta who was striding towards her in fury, the ground shaking under his feet as he approached her. Not wanting to be forced up by the likes of the Saiyan Prince she got up on her own exhausted accord, brushing off blades of dead grass that had clung to the denim of her jeans with their remaining, nearly evaporated exposure of dew, before bringing her arms round her once again, refusing point blank to turn around until she was left with no option and that was only when Vegeta placed both his hands on her shoulders and whipped her around to face him, the space between them nothing, he was literally pressing her against him, his face thunderstruck and blazing.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND … STOMPING OUT OF THE CAR TO NOWHERE!!" he yelled but she could only hesitantly beg him to leave her alone, she was much to broken down and this only resulted in angering him further though he did manage to lower his voice so as not to attract any unwanted negative attention.
"YOU expect me to just leave you alone after what just happened!! What is wrong with you earthlings!! One abuse towards your precious fantasyof 'love' and you are completely incapable of acts of sanity…acting as if the entire universe revolves around your petty desires!!"
"Vegeta…stop it…"
"No! I refuse to stop it until you get it into your head! Love is useless!! It's pathetic! It's absolutely pointless!!"
"Vegeta, STOP IT!!"
"It is a disgrace to all life forms, to submit to something so weak…love! Look at you! Look at what its doing to you and the rest of your naïve race! It's all a trap!"
"STOP IT!! Vegeta, just STOP IT!! You don't know!!" Bulma screamed into his face with blinding white hot fury, the pain in her heart had become so intense that she so needed to release it somehow and so she was taking it out on Vegeta, the one who surely deserved it, he had caused it and he had become thankfully silent, listening to her intently. "You don't know anything!! You don't know about relationships…about people…aboutemotions…YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT LOVE!!"
Each of her words were like a strike to his ego and with each word his grip on her shoulders became tighter, until she was gritting with the pain of his nails digging through the fabric of her coat, ripping through the cloth of her shirt, piercing into her skin deeply.
"Is that what you really think?" he whispered in a dark tone Bulma had never heard him use before and she sensed the danger it held, the pure unconditional danger that signaled that she had him so inflamed he could do anything at this point. "You think I don't know about such things…about the mere emotions you claim to be so confusing to understand…about this idiocy that is 'love'?" His words came out in venomous breaths that blew hot on her face; he had forced them that close so that their noses were nearly touching and she could see each and every cut and scratch etched across his determined face, so captivating were they that they brought about a new desire in her as she trembled with unknown fear she had never felt flowing through her veins, her heart caught in her throat. Yet she still had that ounce of determination left within her and she nodded firmly to indicate her answer with one minded focus.
"How could you be so blinded? Why do you do this to yourself when you know it's a caged up plot to capture you? Why would you want to break yourself?" he questioned further, seemingly fiery in Bulma's eyes who was all of a sudden, starting to grow strangely afraid of him. "Answer me why don't you! Why are you so insolent on the matter, why do you insist to go with it when in the end it will always hurt you??"
He was so close now Bulma wasn't sure whether the lack of any supposed distance was comforting or disturbing to her being but in that one thoughtful moment she knew, discovered and solved the truth in Vegeta and it was the only comfort that kept her assured and forced her to go on and crack the code, bring the truth out from him.
"Vegeta…why are you so afraid?" she whispered so that his eyes widened in confusion and he even seemed to shockingly back away a bit, yet kept his rigid composure firm.
"What?"
"Why are you so afraid? Why are you so afraid of love?" she repeated for good measure, elaborating as she did as he gaze fell down to her shaking hands, she didn't want to see the expression written across his face upon asking the question, it might just kill her.
"What? You think I'm afraid of…love?" he asked back, the humor and disbelief not even bothered to be disguised in his voice but it didn't dare to down hearten Bulma in the least.
"Yes Vegeta…why? I mean…I already know…but I'd enjoy hearing it from you…" She was blatantly toying him with now and they were both aware of this fact even as she continued to wind him around in her web of tricking words, deceiving him and at the same time aiding him further.
"Fine…don't tell me…don't say a word…because I already know…it's clearly written across your face…each and every word sticking out…" she continued with an eager note in her voice, excited with a burning temptation that she could finally, at long last, say it to him. "You're afraid…you're afraid of love…because you're afraid…of getting hurt…"
Deathly silence ensued in which neither could utter a single word, a single breath, both were held back, digesting what had been said with reluctant acceptance in the minor moment of the extended patch of time, it was too much for one saying, had crossed the boundaries of emotional restrictions on their limits in the relationship.
"You don't know how wrong you are…" he breathed vehemently at long last, breaking the soundless stretch so that she found herself choking from the warmth she felt in her face, the increased tightened lock on her arms that Vegeta had, but she was desperate to prove him wrong.
"Oh really?" she questioned with sarcastic curiosity. "Tell me dear Saiyan Prince then…what do you know about emotions…what do you know about love?"
The question had struck him so hard and upon hearing his title used in such ridicule the anger became clear in his black eyes that Bulma had an up close view off.
"You want to know what I know about love. You of all people want to know such a thing from me…fine! I'll tell you my exact views on your precious love!! I despise it! Am sickened by it! Loathe it with every fiber of my living body; my desire for such a putrid and foul thing to be destroyed is so great! I know loveis weak, makes it's victims weaker, for only the weak would subject to it…it's pathetic…pitiful…but…. I also know this…no matter how badly I describe love to be, how horrid I find the thoughtof it to be I know…that once you have fallen for it…you cannot hate love…you cannot hate it and this is why I simply can't stand it… the fact that I cannot hate love…"
Bulma couldn't believe her ears as Vegeta ended off with this final statement, her heart suddenly feeling unfamiliar warmth around it…warmth she thought she'd never feel again but which was undoubtedly there. Vegeta's grip had loosened some what on her shoulders as he leaned his forehead lightly against hers, gazing downwards, one of his hands had loosely trailed down her arm, finding her hand and entwining his fingers within hers so that their hands were locked together and he was radiating such a soothing feel Bulma suddenly felt uncontrollable happiness consume her but to her dismal shock, Vegeta seemed to be growing with each passing second, pained.
"Vegeta…you cannot hate love…" she repeated his words with gentle light breaths that he fell on his skin so that he closed his eyes softly when they were blown on him, tickling his skin, dancing on his lips. "So why do you try?"
His eyes flew open in a shot at her question, the shock revealed in those black mysterious orbs that seemed to fog up any clear drawn image so that she was oblivious of his feelings which had gone haywire inside him. Taking a dazed step back from her Vegeta gazed down at himself, as if for the first time realizing who he was and it hurt him deeply when he received the answer.
Her arms hanging in mid air now from when she had been holding Vegeta she remained motionless, afraid to say a word as he staggered back and then, without warning he was the one who fell to his knees, landing with a soft thump, random dandelions flying up at the force of pressure, exploding around him before drifting off with the wind, leaving him with tufts of his hair blowing into the opposite direction, exiling him from the rest of the world, isolating himself.
Except Bulma refused to let it happen again, watch Vegeta disclose himself form everyone and everything thinking he could take care of himself when he clearly needed another to share the burden of his pain.
"I can't…I just can't…I can't stand this anymore…" he ushered lightly, he had collapsed so low, his breathing growing lighter as Bulma remained with her mind in a blur of confusion, she wished she could simply shut her brain off for a while, it was becoming torturous.
Taking a few cautious steps forward she knelt down in front of Vegeta to level herself with him as he comfortably sat himself down and began plucking at the grass blades, scattering them out so that they playfully blew away.
"Can't stand what Vegeta?" she persisted gently, reaching out daringly and taking one of his hands in both of hers and bringing it up to her chest so that he could feel the drumming of her heart beat which had gone past regular reverberation. The urge to make him hear it was so random, Bulma wasn't sure what had made her do it but something had just made her and now Vegeta was gazing up at her and for the first time in her life she was sure that what was there could be mistaken for nothing but pain, not physical but emotional pain.
"I am a Saiyan Prince…but does that even mean anything anymore…"