Dinner went swiftly. As we ate and conversed, I definitely became more aware of the effects of Tucker's head trauma. A few times, not many though, I heard him pause in speech before picking a word that may or may not have fit well in the sentence. I recognized it as his brain forgetting the word, as Danny had told me happened, and Tucker trying to cover it up with a synonym. Every time this happened, I saw Jazz reach over and touch his arm, their heads bending together.
The sweetness of their relationship, the obvious love and respect they had for one another, made my heart hurt. It wasn't in a negative way, though. It wasn't hurting as in it was breaking. Sometimes, when I witnessed things so utterly beautiful, I would feel electrified with the purity of what I was witnessing. It would be so amazing that I would feel aches in my heart, because something like that couldn't possibly be duplicated. It was far too perfect.
That was the feeling I had when I saw Jazz and Tucker together. They were so sweet to one another, that I couldn't help but root for them and want them to stay together. In my not-so expert experience, I thought they would. I couldn't imagine them separating, not now after everything they'd been through. Especially not now that they had Danny's blessing.
I couldn't help but glance at Danny throughout the duration of the dinner. He said even less than I did, and I only spoke when someone, mostly Mother, prompted me to. Without fail, whenever I glanced at him, he was looking back at me. For one irrational moment, I thought about reaching under the table to grab his hand, though I don't know what would ever prompt me to do such a thing. I kept reminding myself that I was too confused to take a step like that. I didn't even know if I liked Danny, let alone in a romantic sense.
"Samantha," Mother murmured.
I knew that tone. That was her 'lean-in-no-one-else-is-supposed-to-hear-this' tone. So, I leaned slightly to the side to hear her better.
"Since dessert is over with, it's nearly time to begin the music and dancing. I was thinking that it might be nice for you and Danny to commence that part of the evening."
"You mean dance together?" I clarified.
"Just one song, if you the two of you wish. I think it would be nice."
"I'll ask him," I answered her. I was unsure about the matter. I didn't want to, and I knew I shouldn't encourage myself – he had hurt me. But on the other hand, he didn't seem like the person who had hurt me anymore, and I wanted to dance with him.
I swallowed, and then snaked out my hand to touch his forearm in order to catch his attention. He glanced at me almost immediately, and I subtly waved him to lean toward me. We bent our heads together, and I explained my mother's request.
"A dance," Danny repeated slowly. His blue eyes met mine and I felt a chill go down my spine. "I … Only if you want to, Sam."
I bit my lip. That was the question, wasn't it? Did I want to?
I found myself nodding. "Yeah, I think it'll be …" It'll be what? Good? Fun? "…Nice."
He smiled a little. "Yeah."
I informed Mother of our decision. She clapped her hands together once, and then stood up.
"Guests," she called, clinking her glass once again. "I hope you've all enjoyed that lovely meal! If you find yourself getting peckish throughout the night, there will be snacks set up in this room! For now, it's time to commence the dancing and socializing part of the evening! Beverages are available in the next room. If we'll all head there now, our guests of honour, Samantha and Daniel, are going to lead us in a dance."
Our table left the dining area first, led by Mother. We filed into the large area that was meant to be the dance floor. The DJ hired for the evening shuffled around the stage area behind his booth. As more people flooded into the room, Mother popped back between Danny and me.
"It would be a little awkward if it were just the two of you in the middle of the dance floor, wouldn't it?"
I had a feeling it was a rhetorical question, I still answered, "Yes."
"So, here's what we'll do: you and Danny will walk out first, and then you'll be followed by Jeremy and I; Jack and Maddie; Jazz and Tucker. After that, any guests will join in. Does that sound all right?"
"It sounds like a good plan, Mrs. Manson," Danny smiled at her.
Mother chuckled. "Aw, aren't you sweet, but call me Pamela."
"Yes, Pamela," Danny said immediately, and Mother laughed again.
"Be ready, the DJ is about to start."
The music began. Though I had expected a slow song, it was still a little unnerving to hear familiar lines strike up. Danny offered me his elbow without a word, and I slid my hand into the crook of his arm. I would have felt extremely uncomfortable, feeling all eyes on us, except that I could see Tucker helping Jazz up out of her wheelchair so they could immediately follow us.
When we were almost to the middle of the floor, we turned to face one another.
"Formal dancing," I reminded him.
I slid one hand into his hand that went out in front of our bodies. I put my other hand onto his shoulder, though he was so much taller than me that it was a little bit awkward. His hand went to my waist, resting on my ribs instead of my hip so that he didn't brush my wound by accident. As soon as the lyrics began, we began to move.
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
"You look beautiful," Danny said. "I don't know if I mentioned it earlier."
Either way, I blushed and lowered my eyes, unsure of how to take the compliment.
"Thank you," I replied. "Although I really can't compete with the others."
My dress seemed a little plain amidst all the finery. I had chosen it for that reason, though. I didn't want to be reminded of the heavy ball gown I had worn for months while in Vlad's prison. And I liked my dress, which is what mattered, in the end.
"I think it's they that can't compete with you," Danny argued.
"I-" Caught off guard, I stammered out that one word and then I lost my step, almost falling to the floor. If it weren't for his grip, I certainly would have tumbled. As it was, I ended up much closer to him than I was before, our chests almost touching with every step.
"If only it were that easy to get you to fall for me," Danny quipped.
I was instantly reminded of something that Gregor had said, the night he had put his hands around my neck.
"Boys in suits are my weakness," I joked, swallowing the dryness in my throat.
Danny's eyebrows knitted together. "I guess I'll have to invest in more suits, then."
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
We danced past Jazz and Tucker. Seeing her on her feet gave me a surge of hope. She was flying around as if nothing had ever happened to her legs; as if there was nothing wrong at all. If I had a keener eye, I might have noticed how heavily she was leaning on Tucker, relying on him to keep her standing. But I knew, with certainty, that he wouldn't let her fall down.
Danny's thumb brushed the underside of my wrist. I knew he wouldn't let me fall either.
"They look incredible together," I stated, trying to keep conversation going between us.
"Yeah," Danny agreed, as he always did when I said something about Tucker and Jazz. "I'm just really glad that they're alive."
"Me too."
"Sam … I have a question for you," Danny began slowly.
"Ask away," I encouraged.
"I … I want to know if we're ever going to see each other again, I mean, even as a friends. If it's not the right thing for you, I'll understand but … but I'd just like to know what you're thinking now."
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
I didn't know how to answer him, so I stayed quiet for the longest time. As he moved around the dance floor, I thought backward in time. I thought past our imprisonment together, to when he was Phantom and no one else to me. It had been one of the countless nights spent in my room, since we hardly went anywhere else. I was laying horizontally across my bed, while he was lying vertically. My legs were lying over his waist; my hand was reaching toward him, and he was holding it.
Phantom shifted so that he was lying on his side. He reached his hand toward me, gently touching my stomach through my tank top. My eyes, which had been closed, opened so I could look at him. His bright green eyes were watching my carefully as he worked my top up my body, exposing my stomach to him. I didn't say anything – this was within my comfort range.
He began to trace his fingers across my stomach, line after line. It was then I realized that he was touching my scars from the dragon ghost attack. He squeezed my hand as he reached the last scar, and then he continued on in a random pattern, between my ribs, toward my chest, and then down around my ribs to my belly button. He was pressing his finger down hard enough that it didn't tickle.
But then his fingers lifted, his touch becoming lighter. His fingers walked their way from my belly button toward my ribs.
"Don't," I warned.
"Don't what?" Phantom asked, innocently.
"Tickle me. I'm not in the mood," I warned him, trying to sound serious.
"Are you in the mood for other things?" Phantom joked.
"Noooooo," I drawled.
"Then tickling it is!"
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
My mind meandered its way back to the present day.
"I don't know," I blurted finally.
"I understand," Danny sighed.
"It's … complicated, you have to know that."
"No, I do," Danny assured me. "I know that it's my fault and everything, but a guy can hope, I guess."
My hand moved from his shoulder to the back of his neck before I could control myself. I softly brushed my hands through his hair gently. He leaned into my touch.
"I just … I have to be honest. I've missed you for so long and I don't want to let you go. I know I can, and I will, but I just had to say that."
"I understand," I told him. "But, I think I know what has to happen."
I looked into his blue eyes and, even as the words began to spill out of me, I couldn't help but feel like they were the wrong ones.
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
"Dance lessons?" Phantom repeated my words. "Your mother gave you dance lessons?"
"She put me in dance lessons," I corrected him. "There's a difference. And it wasn't like I trained in ballet or anything for years. She just wanted me to be able to waltz correctly."
"Waltz?" Phantom echoed.
I rolled my eyes at him. "For her parties, you know? Formal dancing, and all of that. Not that I ever danced with anyone, but it's a nice skill to have."
"I can't imagine anyone being skilled in waltzing," Phantom stressed, shaking his head.
"Then stand up," I told him, bouncing from my bed.
Phantom sat up, but didn't get any further than that. "What?"
"Stand up, I'm going to show you how to waltz."
He looked at me dubiously, but he still stood up and floated to me. I waited until he planted his feet firmly on my bedroom floor. I positioned his hand on my waist, while I put my hand high onto his shoulder. Then I knotted our fingers together.
"It's really simple," I assured him. "Traditionally, the man leads but since you don't know what you're doing, that's not really going to go well."
"Then lead away," Phantom encouraged.
"I will," I said, and off we went.
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
And me and all of the people with nothing to do and nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
"We … we should keep our distance," I said to Danny. "Especially right now. Being in the cell … I think it skewed our view of the outside world. I think we need to figure out how to be in our lives again without trying to figure out each other because, before we were kidnapped together, we didn't interact. And we didn't interact for a very good reason. I can't speak for what's going on inside your head, but I'm confused about everything. I had to think about how I took my coffee, I'm not prepared to think about feelings."
"I understand, Sam." Danny shook his head. "It was … It was dumb enough for me to ask, anyway."
"No, no. It's not like that … it's –"
His grip on me slackened noticeably.
"Danny," I tried again, but he let go.
"Song's almost over, anyway," Danny murmured, and I could hear the heartbreak in his voice.
"Danny," I repeated, but he had already stepped away from me.
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I don't own anything recognizable. Thanks to my betas: Forever Sky.
~TLL~