All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, no copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 36

We removed our shoes and climbed down the wooden steps until our feet hit the cool, fine sand. It was now pitch black outside, and the only light we had was the dim glow coming from the porches of houses scattered along the beach. The moon occasionally broke through the gaps in the clouds casting an eerie shadow across the water, and between the two, it was just enough to see where we were heading.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as we made our way across the beach to the firmer sand of the water's edge.

"I'm fine. I know I said I would explain about Roger and I will, but I need to get a few things straight in my head. I'm just not sure where to begin, that's all."

We carried on walking for several minutes in silence as I thought about what I was going to say.

"Can we sit for a while? I need to tell you the whole story before you jump to your own conclusions," I asked gently taking his hand in mine and leading him back over the dry sand to a washed up tree. "This will do," I said as I gently pulled him down onto the sand beside me.

We leaned our backs against the tree and looked out over the rippling waves of the North Pacific Ocean. The sound was soothing as I drew my knees up to my chest and listened intently to the sounds of the wash hitting the shore.

I glanced across at Edward to find him running handfuls of dried sand between his fingers while he looked as if he was deep in thought.

"This is all such a mess," I muttered to myself as I put my head back against the tree and looked at the dark clouded sky.

Edward stopped what he was doing, "Why don't you just tell me, Bella? Something's obviously wrong, otherwise we wouldn't be sitting here now. If everything was fine, you would have just told me and got it over and done with."

"Nothing's wrong, Edward, it's just... embarrassing, that's all."

"Now you really have me confused!"

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just...,"

"Embarrassing, yeah, you already said that."

I couldn't help the small smirk that crossed my lips, and I playfully hit his arm. I took a deep breath, "Okay, I'm going to tell you, but you have to listen and not interrupt."

"I can't promise, but I'll do my best. Whatever it is, I still want us to be friends, okay?"

I smiled at him, "I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

"I'm a sweet guy," he shrugged, which instantly broke the tension as we looked at one another and laughed.

"Okay," I started. "Well, the whole Roger thing started off years ago. It was a thing between Alice, Rose, Angela, and myself. Jake knew too, but Jake doesn't count as he's just an interfering pain in the ass." I smiled at the thought of Jake, I missed him so much. "Anyway, it's become the norm since that time for us to 'go and see Roger' when any of us were... shall we say, single?"

Edward's brow furrowed in confusion. The light was dim but I could still see the creases in his forehead as he tried to comprehend what I was trying to tell him.

"Are you telling me that the four of you were seeing the same guy?" he asked shocked.

I chuckled slightly, "No, Edward, that's not what I'm saying."

"Well, I'm not following!"

"Look, if you let me carry on, I'm trying to explain," I said as I took another deep breath. "Between the five of us, Roger became a part of everyday conversation that none of us thought anything about. That was until the day Jake and I bumped into you at the restaurant, and he mentioned that I'd been in a relationship with Roger for a while. Do you remember?"

"Yeah, I remember that. I've never seen you blush as much," Edward said.

Oh, if only he could see how much I was blushing now!

"Anyway, after Jake told the girls what he'd said at the restaurant, they all found it hilarious and kept referring to my 'dates' with Roger. It didn't help when one night Emmett wanted to call and see me, but Rose gave some snide comment about how it was late and that I would probably be on a hot date. That put the idea in Emmett's head that I really was seeing someone called Roger, and that's how you heard more about it!"

Edward nodded his head, "I'm following what you're saying, but I'm still confused as to who this Roger actually is."

I groaned and took several deep breaths before plucking up the courage. "It's not who Roger is, Edward, it's what he is."

I chanced a glance across at him. He still looked confused, but understanding dawned on him as the final piece of the puzzle finally fell into place, a huge grin crossed his face.

"You mean..."

"Yes, Edward," I whispered. "Roger is my, um... vibrator!" I was mortified as I hid my face into my drawn up knees.

Edward laughed, really laughed. "Well, I'll be damned," he said between sniggers as he finally calmed down. "That's hot! You do realize that, don't you?"

I was still hiding my face, but managed to whip my arm out and smack Edward in the stomach.

"Ouch, that hurt!"

"I'm sorry," I said whipping my head up to check that he was okay. He wasn't hurt at all, and he was looking at me with a smirk still on his face.

"Why do you call it Roger?"

"Oh, God," I groaned, "Because it's a rabbit vibrator. We all have one, and we all gave them the same name. It kind of fit, you know, Roger Rabbit!" I turned my face away from him.

"You really are embarrassed, aren't you?" he asked tentatively.

"Of course I'm embarrassed, if it wasn't for Jake and that meddling twosome that I call friends, I would never have had to admit it, and you would have been none the wiser."

"Why does it mater what I think?" he asked cautiously.

"Because it just does..."

He moved slightly closer and picked up my hand in his placing them together in his lap. His face twisted in thought.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned.

"It's nothing," he said at first, not sounding very convincing. "Well, actually it is...Do you remember on Wednesday when I saw you outside the coffee shop?"

"When I ruined your shirt, you mean?"

Edward chuckled, "I wasn't mad over the shirt, Bella. I saw you hug and kiss a guy, and I know it was only on the cheek but I thought that was Roger."

"You're kidding me, right?" I asked surprised.

"No," Edward's face fell and he shook his head. "Who was he? I saw you both come out of the jewelry store, Bella!"

"Edward, that was Leah's boyfriend, Embry. We just bumped into one another. I helped him decide on a gift for Leah's birthday, that's all."

Edward's face suddenly relaxed. "So, you're not seeing anyone?" he asked quietly.

I shook my head.

"Has there been anyone else since we..."

I interrupted him, "There's only ever been you, and one person before you." I looked down at our entwined hands, they fit so beautifully together.

"What about you? Have you met anyone else?" I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to hear the answer, but while we were getting everything out in the open, I felt I needed to know just so that I could move on.

Edward's grip on my hand tightened.

"You know that before I met you I was a player?"

"I know," I said softly. Did I even want to hear any of this? Probably not, but I knew that I needed to hear all of it anyway.

"I had tried to have a relationship with Lauren, but to be perfectly honest, I didn't even like her. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could be faithful to one person, but even that didn't work. Then I met you, and after that I couldn't even bring myself to be near Lauren. I know that I've told you this before, but that day when you walked in on us at the office, nothing happened. After you left, I pushed her away and ended things there and then. I felt in some weird kind of way as though I had cheated on you even though there was nothing between us at that point. I was confused and didn't know what I wanted. Then you and I got together and everything just felt so right, so natural, it felt like I belonged with you."

"I felt the same," I whispered, not daring to look at him.

He took a deep breath. "After I found out that you knew about Josh, I just felt so betrayed, angry that you had kept something like that from me. I had developed such strong feelings for you in such a short amount of time that it all felt like a kick in the teeth. I tried to move on, I even went to a bar one night with the sole intention of getting laid."

"Edward, you don't need to tell me all of this. It's okay," I croaked, except it wasn't okay. I felt my eyes fill up with tears, and I was thankful that it was dark and he couldn't see.

"Please, Bella, let me finish," he whispered softly.

I nodded my head for him to continue as he started drawing patterns on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Like I said, I went to a bar one night with the sole intention of getting laid. I got chatting to some woman, I don't even remember her name. We danced, shared a couple of drinks, but there was nothing there. I just couldn't do it. I gave her money for the cab fare home, and I went home alone... She wasn't you, Bella!"

My breath hitched. I looked up at him tenderly as he brought up his free hand and cupped my cheek, running the pad of his thumb underneath my eyes, wiping away the tears.

"There's no-one else, Bella, it was always you!"

He moved closer and placed his forehead against mine.

"Don't cry," he whispered his lips just inches away from mine. "I never want to be the one to make you cry ever again. I'm so, so sorry that I hurt you!"

My face felt wet and it was only after a few short moments that I realized tears were falling down my face, except they weren't my tears, they were Edward's. I pulled him closer to me and wrapped my arms tightly around him burrowing my face into his neck.

I could feel his pulse against my lips. "I've missed you so much, Edward," I whispered.

He shivered and enveloped me with his arms holding me tighter than I had ever been held in my life, "I've missed you too, Bella!"

We sat in each other's arms without words. There was no sound at all other than our shallow breathing and the calming sound of the ocean.

"Are you okay?" I eventually asked breaking the silence.

"Yes, are you?" he choked.

"I am now," I breathed into his neck.

I felt Edward smile as he turned his head slightly and kissed my temple.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked never wanting to leave the warmth and comfort of his arms.

Edward contemplated, "Well, while we're here and we have no distractions, why don't we just get everything out, clear the air, and make a fresh start?"

I pushed away from him slightly looking into his eyes, "What else would you like to talk about?" I was slightly worried. Had I misread the signals that Edward had given off? Was I mistaken in thinking that he still had feelings for me?

Edward must have sensed my panic as he placed his hand gently on the back of my head and pulled me back towards him resting my head on his shoulder.

"Nothing to worry about," he kissed the top of my head. "I just thought that if there was anything to share, we should do it now."

"Like what?" I asked still slightly concerned. "Is there something I should know?"

I felt Edward's shoulders move as he made himself more comfortable. "Not at all. It's just that after we had the argument on the day of the DNA results, Dad came to see me. He told me how he and mom visited you at home. He mentioned how you had left your laptop open and saw that you had been applying for alternate jobs."

"That's true," I confirmed. "Although I wasn't positive that Carlisle had noticed."

"Yes, well, apparently he did. He gave me hell, and it was only then that I realized how much of a bastard I had been. After a few weeks though, you seemed to move on, as though it was all a game and you'd just cast me aside. I felt insignificant, and I didn't like it. I know that I behaved like a spoiled brat, and there's no excusing my behavior!"

"I didn't move on, Edward, I never moved on." I snuggled further into him. "If I tell you what really happened, you promise that you won't blame yourself?"

"I can't promise that, Bella!" he said firmly.

"Yes, you can, Edward, because once it's all out in the open, we can both put an end to it and move forward."

He contemplated my words, "Okay, I'm ready to listen."

I pushed myself away from him so that we had no distractions and got myself comfortable. We were now facing one another, legs crossed and holding hands for reassurance.

"I might as well start at the beginning, some of it I will have already told you, but there are other things that you won't be aware of."

I don't know how long we had been sitting in the sand talking, but it did us both the world of good. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I told Edward everything, starting with how I had become so heartbroken that I couldn't face food. He was genuinely shocked when I explained to him about just how much weight I had previously lost, even though I had now gained some of it back.

He shook his head and chuckled when I told him about the girls and 'Operation Edward'. Even though their plan failed miserably, he was relieved when I told him that his brothers had absolutely no idea of the extent of their meddling.

But most of all he looked pained when I told him that I was so hurt and upset that I had to wear 'the mask' just to see me through any time that I spent with him. That mask was my savior and saw me through the darkest days. Without it, there was no doubt in my mind that I would have become seriously ill at some point.

I explained all about how I had been applying for new jobs, and even though so far I hadn't secured any interviews, I no longer had any interest in leaving Cullen International.

Everything came pouring out and the only thing that I held back was the fact that Carlisle had offered me Victoria's job when she left, but that wasn't my secret to tell and really had nothing to do with our relationship anyway.

Edward shared with me the fact that he wished he'd never walked away, but he was too hurt and stubborn to do anything about it once he had. He was absolutely devastated to think that I had gotten over it and moved on with 'Roger.' So much so that he admitted that he'd been drinking quite heavily. He was convinced that the alcohol was partially to blame not only for his paranoia, but some of his mood swings. He also told me that from the time we sorted things out back at Esme and Carlisle's house, he'd pulled himself together and stopped getting drunk, something that I was extremely thankful to hear.

I told him how jealous I had been when I thought he was seeing Chris Cooper, and he laughed his ass off when I told him that I had nicknamed her Little Miss Goddess. He confirmed what I already knew, that yes, there had once been something casual between them, but not anymore.

We laughed, we joked, we confessed and we cried, but more than anything else, we connected more than we had ever done before. If there was ever any doubt, there certainly wasn't now... I loved Edward Cullen with every single part of me.

We chatted away for the rest of the night, just holding hands and listening intently to what one another had to say. We were only brought out of our bubble when the sound of YMCA shrilled through the air.

"What the...?" Edward said with a surprised look on his face.

"It's Charlie," I interrupted him as I dug through my purse trying to find my phone.

"Is everything okay?" he asked when I finally hung up.

"Yeah, everything's good. He was just calling to tell us that Josh is fast asleep tucked up in bed."

"I thought we we're putting him to bed?" Edward sulked pulling the same face as Josh does when he doesn't get his own way either.

"Well, we were, but I don't think either of us realized the time. It's almost midnight."

"You're kidding?" Edward said looking at his watch before jumping to his feet. "I thought we'd only been out here for an hour or so." He held out his hand to help me up, which I took instantly.

"We must have been sitting here for a good three hours," I commented,

"At least! Come on," Edward winked. "Let's get back to our son."

We strolled along casually hand-in-hand.

"Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why have you got YMCA as Charlie's ringtone?"

"Have you seen him in his uniform?"

Edward shook his head.

"He looks like the cop from the Village People with his porn star moustache."

We both had a good giggle at that, "Can I ask you something else?" Edward said uncertaintanty in his voice as we reached the SUV. He opened the passenger door for me like a gentleman.

"Sure."

"When we get back to Seattle, could I take you out on a date?" he actually looked shy as he did his tell tale sign of nervousness by running his hands through his hair.

"Isn't this kind of a date?"

"Sort of," he said with unease, "but it wasn't a proper one. I want to show the whole world that you're mine, Bella."

I gasped and stumbled slightly at his words. If it wasn't for the fact that the car was holding me up, I would have fallen flat on my back. Did he really mean it? Was I really his?

"Is that what I am, Edward? Yours?"

He took a step closer effectively pinning me against the frame of the car. His hand came up and cradled the back of my head as the other one snaked around my waist.

"Bella, you have been mine ever since that first night in Vegas," he said as he lowered his head towards mine. "May I?" he whispered as he gently lowered his lips to mine.

Edward had always been so controlled and domineering in our relationship. It was only before we broke up that I began to see a softer side to him, a side that I loved more that anything. Underneath his tough guy corporate exterior, Edward was an insecure and passionate man.

His lips were soft and smooth as they moulded with mine, there was no deep wanton passion in this kiss; it was one that that spoke of tenderness and belonging. He broke the kiss before it could go any further and brought his forehead to rest on mine.

We both caught our breaths. That was hands down the single, most romantic kiss I had ever encountered.

"You didn't answer my question," Edward said quietly.

"What question?" I was still flabbergasted over the intensity of our kiss.

"Bella, may I take you out on a date?"

I smiled at him and delicately ran my hand down the side of his face.

"There's nothing I'd like more."

A/N

Well, there you have it. The truth is out…

Now, about that date… Can anyone guess where Edward will take her? It's already written by the way so I can't change things LOL.