Gum Gum vs. Bazooka Boxing

Nami Makes a Deal...Well...I Do Anyways

Our fists met. The shockwave was so powerful the ground and surroundings began to break. We were evenly matched, we couldn't move an inch forward.

"Ok Luffy! MY bazooka boxing vs. your rubber! We fight until the other one's beat!"

"SOUNDS GOOD TO ME! LET'S FINISH THIS!" He shouted in anger.

"MEGA BUSTER!"

-KABOOM-

I fired a shot at his fist and he was sent backwards. But before he I was finished, he whipped me with his leg.

"GUM GUM WHIP!"

I was sent flying into the right building and he was sent back into the building behind him.

We jumped back out and met fist on fist. I gave him right hook, but he dodged and tried to give me a left punch. But I dodged as well. I ducked under and have him an uppercut to the chin and he brought his heel down on my back. He was sent flying, but I was crushed into the ground.

"GUM GUM GATLING!"

I quickly got up and went into my boxer stance. He threw a volley of punches. I dodged or blocked all of them and then picked up a piece of broken wall. It was big enough to do some damage, but not so big that I couldn't pick it up. I loaded it into my cannon and locked onto Luffy with my scope.

"ROCK-IT LAUNCHER!"

I fired my rubble at him and it knocked him out of the sky, but not before he nailed me in the chest with both of his feet.

"GUM GUM SPEAR!"

I was sent a few feet back, but remained standing. He fell out of the sky and landed on his feet. We stared at each other for a minute, then locked fists.

We saw #5 and Val try to get in the fight, but we glared at them and knocked them out of the park.

"YOU'RE INTERUPTING OUR FIGHT!"

We stared at them for a second, then looked at each other for a minute.

"Now…where were we?" I asked him.

"Right!" He said, and locked in battle again.

Nothing but blocking and punching. He was good, I'll give him that. I couldn't see a weak spot on him. He stretched and blocked, but I was just as fast. I kept to my boxer stance, keeping my arms close into my body and blocking all fists on the sides before going in for a punch to the chest or an arm. His attacks were wider; he would jump back and stretch his arm before leaping above and pulling it back at me. He was really good!

But I kept on him, I used a bazooka punch on him and he flew back a few feet. He then used a Gum Gum Bazooka on me when my guard was down and I was sent backwards. We stared at each other with fierce eyes.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!" I shouted.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" He shouted.

We charged at each other for one more joust.

-BAM- -BAM-

"KNOCK IT OFF!"

A fist smashed me in the face so hard I almost went unconscious. Me and Luffy were sent flying to the ground with surprised and shocked looks on our faces.

"What are you two doing here? At least you managed to keep the girl safe! You almost lost me 50,000,000 berri!"

It was Nami. Figures.

She picked us both up by the collar of our shirts. We were still glaring at each other. I gave Luffy another weak punch, he gave me a weak kick. Nami was talking with Vivi as we scuffled like little kids. I was stretching his nose and ears as he kept pounding on my head.

-BAM- -BAM-

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Nami shouted as she pounded us into the ground. We stopped fighting after that.

"OOOOOH! HEEHEHEAAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAHA! I thought you beat up those guys because they didn't make any of the food you liked!" Luffy cheerfully said.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS IN THAT FUCKING HEAD OF YOURS YOU FUCKING RETARDED RETARD FUCK FUCKIDY FUCKING SHITFORBRAINS! WHO THE FUCK WOULD FUCKING BELIEVE SOMETHING SO FUCKING FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP FUCKER!"

In laments terms…I was pissed off.

Nami had sat us both down in our own personal time out areas. She then explained, in detail, the situation. Vivi confirmed it. After they finished, Luffy thought for a minute (Luffy thinking? Yeah right…) and let out a huge gush of crazy laughter. Zoro was keeping his mouth shut (smart move) but still looked like he was bout to clobber Luffy over the head.

"HAHAHAHA! What a funny mix up! HAHAHAAA!"

"I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOU SOMEDAY YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!"

"BE QUIT!" Nami shouted in a extremely loud voice. We both immediately stopped. Her evil face molded back into a money grubbing smile.

"So that's my deal. In exchange for safe passage, I'd like 50,000,000 berri!"

"Are you still on with that? I told you! We'll do it for…"

-BAM-

"BE QUIT YOU! YOU ALREADY COST ME ANOTHER 50,000,000 BERRI!" She shouted at me. I kept my mouth clamped shut.

"I appreciate the offer, but I can't." Vivi said. She was looking very scared and worried. She was biting her lip.

"Why not? You're a princess after all! Aren't you rich?" Nami asked stupidly.

I felt like…a bit of my sanity snapped that moment. "OF ALL THE STUPID, CARELESS, SELFISH, MORONICK THINGS YOU'VE SAID…"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

"Want to say anything else?" Nami asked me as I rubbed my swollen head.

"I'll thut(shut) up now." I said weakly and fell over.

"Do you know much about Arabasta Kingdom?" Vivi asked Nami.

"I do!" I said quickly and flinched, prepared for another hit from Nami. She eyed me, but allowed me to continue.

"It's a desert country…full of sand. Rain was scarce, but it wasn't that much of a problem. It was a great and peaceful country. I remember…gypsy girls dancing in the streets, wide open markets with happy people, and incredible creatures. I visited there once, for about a month, a good month. From what I remember, it was a good place to be. Until several years ago, when a massive drought hit Arabasta. It hasn't rained for several years, right?" I asked her.

She nodded in sadness.

"Well, from what I heard, the country has apparently broken out into civil war. The people are revolting against their King, Cobra, because they think he…did something." I tried to think.

"They revolted against a snake?" Zoro stupidly asked.

"NO! The King's name is Cobra! Cobra Nefetari." I corrected him.

"What did he do?" Nami asked.

"I can't remember. Maybe if some woman didn't give me permanent brain damage I could remember!" I said angrily, glaring at Nami. She glared back at me.

Vivi seemed to cheer up and said, "You have most of it right. Yes, Arabasta was a great desert kingdom, and the drought and civil war is happening as we speak. But…"

She then explained how Baroque Works were behind the civil war, and how she infiltrated the company in order to find out what was happening.

"You got some guts considering you're a princess." Zoro said admirably. "So…were you able to find out what their plan was?"

"To create an ideal nation. At least that's what Igaram said it was." Nami said.

Vivi told us that was false, and they really wanted to take over Arabasta.

She was gripping her legs in anger and frustration. "I have to get back to warn everybody somehow. To tell them the truth and stop the fighting! If I don't do something…if I don't tell them…"

She was shaking. She then started crying. I really felt sorry for her, and would go up and say something encouraging, but fear of getting hit by Nami overruled my good nature.

Nami just shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Ok I get it. I see how it is. Yea, it's all staring to make sense now." She said with a look of boredom on her face. "I suppose you wouldn't have much money laying around during a civil war."

I really got fed up and said in a aggravated tone, "She just told you that the country she loved is being wrecked by evil bastards. She is literally sitting there in tears, and all you can think about is your GOD DAMN MONEY?"

-BAM-

"Googogogogogaoaoggoagoa?" I mumbled.

"So Vivi, did you find out who's in charge?" Luffy asked her, grinning wildly.

Her expression became full of terror. "What? The boss' identity? You shouldn't ask that!" She shouted at him. We all jumped at her sudden mood change.

"But you know, don't you?" He asked again.

"ASK ME ANYTHING BUT THAT! IF I TELL YOU YOUR LIVES WILL BE PUT IN DANGER TOO!" She pleaded to us.

Nami just laughed nervously and said, "Yeah I'll pass…I mean this guy is trying to take over an entire country after all!"

"Wait…wait…oh yeah I remember. The leader is Crocodile! Mr. 0! Hahaha! One of the seven warlords of the sea! I almost forgot that! What a funny thing to forget that I saw the an…"

I just realized that I wasn't thinking inside my head. I looked and say Vivi's face at 100% terror, Nami's face at 800% terror, and Luffy and Zoro were just shocked that I knew that.

"Oh…Sorry! Just thinking out loud! Hehehe…"

-BAM- -BAM- -BAM-

"50…no…100,000,000,000 BERRI!" Nami screamed at me, bashing me so hard over the head I was surprised I didn't get a concussion.

"HOW! HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?" Vivi shouted at me.

"Uuuuuuuuuugh?" I mumbled.

I didn't notice it until now, but there were a strange looking bird and otter standing nearby.

There bird and the otter were staring at us. They seemed to make some mental notes and flew off.

Nami was shouting and screaming and crying at Vivi, trying to somehow unlearn this fact as Luffy and Zoro were grinning about their new enemy.

"A warlord huh? That's so cool!" Luffy cheered.

"Not to bad." Zoro said in agreement.

I looked in a mirror and saw the swollen, deformed lump that was now my head.

Uh, just another day.

Nami smacked me a couple more times and tried to run away, but the otter drew pictures of all four of us and left. She then came back to us with her angry face on.

What a talented otter. He could become an artist with his talents of drawing by memory and…now is not the best time.

"Sowy(sorry)! I was tinkin(thinking) out lowd(loud) and it jus(just)…sipped(slipped) out." I tired to tell her.

"Ugh. Already in the Grand Line and we're being hunted by a warlord!" She was shouting.

"You have –cough- MA MA MAMAAAA! You have nothing to fear princess." I heard Igaram say. We all turned to face him and…I almost died laughing.

He was…he…how should I put this…he was wearing the EXACT same outfit Vivi was wearing. He even put his curly hair in a sort of pony tail that reminded me of that ammo that came in lines on guns…you know…that kind?

"PFFFFFFFHAAAAHAAAHAAAAHA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING? PFFFFHAHAHAAAHA!" I doubled over and pointed at him. I continued for about 10 seconds and immediately went back to normal and said dully, "Sorry. I find cross-dressers funny."

Igaram was talking to Vivi and told her a few things. What she said in response was, "Yes…knowing Baroque Works they'll probably send 1000 agents after me."

Nami shot up, back with terror on her face.

"Thus my plan," Igaram continued, "disguised like this I will pretend to be you. I'll take these four dummies aboard with me and I'll set a straight course for Arabasta."

"A decoy." Zoro translated.

He kept talking, but I wasn't listening as I was trying to comfort Nami as she repeated over and over again in a spooked out tone, "1000…1000 soldiers? ONE THOUSAND!"

Nami shouted at Igaram, "HOLD ON! WHO SAYS WE WERE GOING TO TAKE HER WITH US?"

"I DID! We are going to take Vivi on are ship, sail to Arabasta, kill that stupid Croc, and save her freaking kingdom! Right Luffy?" I shouted.

"Wait…that's what this yelling has been about?" He said confused. He tought for a second and said, "Sure! No problem!"

"LUFFY! CROCODILE MIGHT ALREADY BE AFTER US!" Nami shouted at him.

"Captain's orders." I told her.

Luffy asked Igaram about Crocodile and told him his past bounty was 80,000,000.

"WHAT? THAT'S FOUR TIMES ARLONGS BOUNTY!" Nami screamed.

"So? Luffy is only half that! And he can beat people way stronger than that. Right Luffy?" I asked him again. I was having fun.

"YEAH! I wanna piece of this Crocodile guy!" Luffy declared.

"Well that settles it Nami. We're going to Arabasta!"

Igaram was about to board his ship. We all were on the docks.

He did his voice check thing and put his voice in a falsetto. "Now I Vivi will leave from here."

"Hehehe! Great imitation old guy!" Luffy cheered.

"Princess, please give me the eternal pose." Igaram asked her.

She pulled out a log pose, but it was in a sort of wooden stand. Igaram explained how Eternal Poses work to everyone else. He said his goodbyes and his thanks to us all.

Aren't I forgetting something?

He was all set to leave before I shouted, "HEY! Wait up!"

He turned to me, and I held out my hand.

"What do you need?" He asked me.

"This is how I make a promise. I never break the promises I make, even if I die. I need you to shake on it." I told him.

He seemed to understand and grabbed my hand. "Please, promise to deliver the princess safely to Arabasta." He said in a serious tone.

I nodded and shook. "I promise on pain of death to protect Vivi from harm and to bring her back to her home."

He smiled. "I can't begin to thank you all for what you are doing for me. Please be careful on your route."

"Igaram." Vivi said, and went to hug Igaram. He patted her on her head and smiled warmly.

Aaaaaaawww…ain't that nice…I'm sure I'm forgetting something. What was it? WHAT?

He boarded his ship and sailed off. We watched as he stood at the back of the ship amoungst his decoy dummies.

"And there he goes. He was such a funny old man." Luffy said.

"What's more, he's a reliable old man." Vivi said fondly and watched him on the horizon.

A pulse in my brain triggered as they said those lines.

SHIT! WHY NOW?

"WAIT! IGARAM!" I shouted in terror. Too late.

-KABOOM-