Author's note: I'm sorry for the late update, the weather is too hot so I'm being lazy XD Once again, many thanks to all my lovely readers =D Thank you for all those that have reviewed the last chapter. Reviews are always welcomed -021113-
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys!
Chapter 35. Way Back Into Love
This is ridiculous. It's completely and utterly ridiculous. What am I doing here? It's been a year since I left Kanagawa, leaving Sakuragi behind for the sake of sticking into my own promise to my parents. Truthfully, I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to say screw my promise and stay, but I left anyway. I thought I have no choice but to stay true to my promise. And Sakuragi made it too easy. If I don't know the real him, I might have been insulted because he let me go that easily. But I know better. I know how his mind works. I know that he made it easy for my sake. So I didn't have to choose between my promise and him. I know that if he even once had asked me to stay, I would have stayed. If only he asked me to stay…
No. It's just my excuse to wash my hand from this stupidity because in the end, the decision was in my hand and I left. I stupidly left. Stanford is cool. The people are nice. The city is nice. But I'm lacking my red head companion and the only thing to comfort me is the video of his basketball match in university league. Thanks to technology and nice people who upload the video in youtube, I still can enjoy glimpses of his university life albeit just a small part of it. To my dislike, he's in the same team with Sendoh. I know he has a thing towards Sendoh even though he said it's just adoration. Maybe it starts from adoration but now that we're apart, who can guarantee it won't bloom into love interest?
Darn it! I know my line of thought is not fair to Sakuragi because it was I who left. We know that I will assume the life suitable for a Rukawa. We are aware that the separation will be forever at least in the romance department. I left. I let him go. I'm moving toward the life my parents have set up for me. Sakuragi is free to find his happiness because I left him. I thought to have a taste of real love will be enough to fill my heart while I'm living a hollow life as a Rukawa. Oh how wrong I was. It's natural for human to be greedy and it's happening to me. I can't forget the sweet taste of being loved and being in love. It's been a year yet it feels like the graduation ceremony was yesterday. I yearn for Sakuragi and now I feel trapped in the life I don't want to live.
And just to make things worse, my parents have set me up to an arranged marriage. I'm not even twenty years old yet but here I am, at the fancy Japanese restaurant ready to meet my arranged fiancé. Why the heck am I agreeing to my parents' proposal? Something is definitely wrong with my head.
"They're here. Be nice, Kaede." Mother warns me when the door to the private room is opened and a middle aged woman with young lady come inside. I click my tongue. I don't want this marriage and if my fiancé accepts this omiai, she has to know that I won't be a gentleman from the beginning. It's just a business marriage, end of story.
"Rukawa-san, how nice to see you." The middle aged woman greets us. "This is my daughter, Chidori." The daughter bows politely to both of us.
"Sasakawa-san, it's good to see you too. This is my son, Kaede." Mother introduces us. I bow slightly to greet the mother and daughter pair.
The mothers chit chat a bit, telling each other about their respective child's quality and all, completely ignoring us. Being bored, I look at the scenery outside the window. The restaurant is surrounded by huge traditional Japanese garden and part of it can be seen from the window of our private room. It takes me back to the first vacation I had with Sakuragi at Ryokan Kiritani Hakoneso. I will never forget it, the days when we spent our nights passionately in any flat surface available. Our first outdoor sex that got him so aroused. The first time we took a picture of both of us as a couple…
"Kaede." Mother's call halts my trip to the beautiful past. I turn to her. "I was saying, why don't you two youngsters take a stroll in the garden to get acquainted?" She says after glaring at me, pissed because I'm caught daydreaming in the middle of the omiai.
"Sure." I stand up and walk out of the room without a care whether the woman follows me or not. I just want to escape the suffocating conversation in there. I slow my pace down once I've reached the shady part of the garden. I feel a presence beside me and from the corner of my eyes I see the woman walks leisurely. I stop and turn towards her. "Look, it's just business marriage so don't expect anything from me." I say straight to the point.
Contrary to my expectation, she looks up to me and smirks. Her whole demeanor changes from the obedient fragile woman to an independent tough woman. "Chill out, pretty boy." She says mockingly. "I don't like this situation as much as you do and I'm not expecting anything from you anyway. Besides, I have my own plan for my future and you are not a part of it." She grins.
I raise my eyebrow in question. "Surely at least we have to get married at some point." I say half asking.
"No we're not, boy. I'm just buying my time until I graduate and can support myself, free from Sasakawa's name. Sorry to break the news to you, but I already have a boyfriend." She winks.
"You what?" I'm completely baffled. This woman is way beyond my assumption. Sure she is a year older than me but she's totally different than what I thought she would be like.
"We're going to elope once I've graduated." She grins widely.
"And your parents will let you do that?" I ask skeptically.
"Hah! They won't know what happen until it happens. And by the time it happens, they won't be able to do anything." She chuckles. "To think in this time and age people still have arranged marriage." She shakes her head amusingly.
"Your parents never see this side of you, do they?" I ask rhetorically.
"Of course they don't. I'm their perfect obedient little daughter." She blinks her eyes in a mockingly cute way. "I'm glad you only think this is a business marriage so it won't matter to you if your fiancé is changed due to a circumstance." She grins. "Enough about me, so what's your story, eh? Surely a pretty boy such as you has one or two girlfriends?" I sigh loudly. "Come on, tell big sister about your trouble." She sits on the available garden chair and pats the spot beside her, inviting me to join her.
"I…" I gulp down hard. "I had a lover but I left my precious one behind." I look down, feeling guiltier after voicing it out loud.
"Because your parents disapproved her?" She asks gently.
"They don't know about our relationship." I sigh once again before looking up to the bright blue sky. "I also made a stupid promise to my parents. I gave them my life in exchange for a mere three years of freedom in high school. It looked worth it when I made the trade but after I found my loved one, it's clear that I was stupid to make that kind of trade."
"Then don't follow it." She says sternly. "This is your life so it's up to you to mold it as you see it fit. Just remember the consequences if you break free from your family. There will be no one else but yourself that will support you. You have to hone your skill to live independently." She smirks. "And from what I've observed, you've been a spoiled young master all this time, haven't you? I bet you have never earned money through your own strength."
"I get what you're saying but I've promised. Surely I can't back away from my own words." I bow down in defeat.
She laughs hard. "It's your life. From the beginning, your parents don't have authority to make the trade because then and now, it's still your life. I'm majoring in law so I know the agreement is invalid. The question is, are you willing to fight for your life?"
I'm speechless. She actually makes some valid points. The more I think, the more I know that I rather choose Sakuragi than living this empty life. "I need to earn money so I can stand on my own two feet." I say after I've made my decision.
"There's the spirit!" She pats my back hard.
I turn to her and smile. "Thanks." I say sincerely.
"Don't mention it. We're in the same boat anyway." She shrugs. "So, you think you can pretend to have a relationship with me so I can mislead my parents more?" She asks casually.
I laugh. "Sure, I'll help covering your mischief."
"Good!"
A good side effect from being a business major student is that I know how market works. With my allowance money from my parents, I start investing in stocks. Not too aggressively in the beginning but when I'm gaining more, I start putting in more. Since I'm betting my future life through the stocks, I learn diligently about how market acts and I also follow the news on companies' growth. The more I learn, the more accurate my prediction on the stocks' value is, and the less I lose money in bad stocks. After a year being immersed in the stocks exchange world, my earning is steadily increasing. I'm finally able to say that I'm ready to be independent. Sasakawa praises me for graduating from being the spoiled young master. I only sneer at her. To avoid our parents' suspicion, we spend some time to go out together. She has broadened my horizon. Without her, I would still have been stuck in the empty life without the guts to break free and live my life just the way I want it. I give my deepest gratitude to her.
While I'm going steadily ready on my side, to my horror, I see changes in Sakuragi's attitude towards Sendoh in the uploaded video on youtube. Sakuragi has always been friendly but there are small gestures that signify the difference between acquaintance and close friend. Unfortunately, he's directing all those small valuable things to Sendoh. I have to do something or else all my effort to be independent will be wasted. He is my motivation to do what I'm doing now and it won't be funny if in the end he slips from my grasp. I need to contact Sakuragi to let him know about my plan. Now I might sound stupid, but during those years with him, I have never called him. Sakuragi doesn't have a cell phone but he has house phone which number is unfortunately unknown to me. He was always there beside me so I never faced a situation where I need to call him. Luckily I remember his address so I write a post card to him with a simple message, wait for me, I'm coming home. It's pretty straightforward so I hope he knows what I mean. I also hope that I'm not too late. I don't know what I'll do if he already moves on.
It's been months since I sent the postcard yet I haven't receive any reply. I know it must have reached Japan. I fear the worst, that Sakuragi already received it but ignoring it because he has moved on. I don't notice any changes in his demeanor during basketball match. But then again, he always wears this happy expression whenever it concerns basketball so I don't think any personal feelings will be seen. I desperately want to fly to Japan to see him and talk to him in person. I want to tell him that I'm trying here so don't give up yet. Too bad my schedule is loaded not only with school stuff but also preparations to take over my parents' company. Every spare time I have is spent to deal with company issues, from paper works to business meals with partners. I can only see Sakuragi in youtube while praying to whatever there is that he hasn't moved on yet.
On the third year in our university days, finally Sendoh is out of the picture. I don't have to torture myself by seeing him being there next to my Sakuragi. However, the dreaded feeling of them meeting up in private pops up in my mind and it kills me inside. I try my hardest to put it aside and be optimist. I can't wait till my graduation when I can really break free from Rukawa's name. My saving from stocks is more than enough to provide new life with Sakuragi. With my business degree from Stanford, I'm confidence I can find job anywhere, or if worse comes to worst, I can continue earning money from stocks.
Sasakawa has graduated and she drops by to say goodbye. I wish her luck and I know his man will take care of her. She told me they're heading to Hawaii and they'll get married there. Mother is outrage upon finding the news of Sasakawa's elopement. I think she's mad mostly because it's an insult to Rukawa's name. Sasakawa's parents come to apologize personally and to appease mother's rage, the plan to merge one of their affiliating companies is put into motion despite our cancelled marriage. Not wasting any time, mother immediately set another omiai but I refuse reasoning that I still need to cope with 'Sasakawa's betrayal'. She buys that because from the outside, my relationship with Sasakawa has bloomed seeing how often we meet. They just don't know that it's just camouflage.
In the mean time, I've sent another postcard to Sakuragi, again telling him to wait for me because I'm coming back soon. To my despair, I don't receive any reply as well. Putting the dreaded feeling aside, I look forward to the graduation. If he has moved on, I vow to myself that I will bring him back to me no matter the consequences. I've come this far and I won't let him slip through my fingers again. He was the one who called out to me first. He was the one who told me he loved me. He was the one who changed me into this love sick fool so he must take the responsibility! The more I think about it, the more furious I become. Days come and go unnoticed. I have one goal in my head and I'll do anything to achieve that.
It's graduation day. My parents are too busy with their business that they don't attend the ceremony. I'm fine by that. I've got my diploma and soon I won't need them anymore. I've packed my bag and I've bought flight ticket to Japan. I'm ready to drop the news to mother. I come to the Rukawa's head quarter office where mother usually spends his working hour if not in meetings. I take the elevator to the top floor where mother's office is located. Without sparing any glance to mother's secretary, I walk briskly towards her office door.
"Rukawa Kaede-sama, please wait a moment until I've announced your presence to Rukawa Sayoko-sama." Mother's secretary tries to stop me from barging in but I ignore him. I open the door harshly and mother looks up from his laptop at the commotion with raised brows, clearly displeased. "I'm sorry Rukawa-sama, but Rukawa Kaede-sama asks to see you immediately." She apologizes frantically to mother.
"Leave us." I turn to her and order her in my coldest tone. She glances at mother and after receives a nod from her, she takes her leave.
"I don't raise you to act like a caveman, Kaede." She says sternly while glaring at me.
I roll my eyes. Like she's ever been there to raise me. "I'm willing to take over the company but I can't marry your candidates." I say bluntly.
She stares at me without saying anything then she sighs. "What is this, Kaede? You're twenty two year old, you've passed the rebellious phase already."
"I know I've told you in exchange to three years freedom in high school I would do whatever you asked me to but now I'm an adult and I know the agreement was void. My life in high school and after graduated is both mine. You can make an exchange with what isn't yours. However, I'm willing make a deal with you. I'll take over the company but not marrying any of your candidates." I say flatly.
Mother stands from her seat. She walks to the huge window that displays the city view outside and stares outside serenely. "I never thought choosing Sasakawa's daughter to be your fiancée would bring this complication." She says calmly before turning to face me. "Kaede, she's just one in a million. She's not worth it. Uehara's daughter has better qualification and I assure you, she is an obedient girl, perfect to be your wife."
So mother thinks this is the effect of Sasakawa's elopement. Although in a way Sasakawa was the one who has opened my eyes to fight for my life, it's not because of her elopement. After briefly comparing the pros and cons, I decided to be play along, at least until I have Sakuragi securely in my arms. "Whatever, Mother. I just want to let you know about the new deal. I'm going back to Japan so you can contact me there with your decision." I leave without waiting for her response. I have flight to catch and I can't wait to see my do'ahou.
I spend the twelve hours flight thinking about what to say when I meet Sakuragi. I imagine all the possible scenarios in my head. The best is the one where he cries happily upon seeing me and run into my embrace without a care that we're in public. I can see his expression clearly, from disbelief to genuine happiness. The worst scenario is where he is already hooked up with someone else. He will only stand there awkwardly while scratching the back of his head with eyes darting everywhere but me. Oh I really hope for the first so I don't have to beat anybody or even going as far as kidnapping Sakuragi.
I arrive in Tokyo in the afternoon and I continue with train to Kanagawa. I don't feel the jetlag because I'm too eager to see Sakuragi. I walk the short distance from the train station to Sakuragi's house, the place where I've spent my last two years in Japan. The house looks exactly the same like the last time I was there. Sakuragi still keep the neatly trimmed grass in the small garden in front of the house. My mind wanders to possible reasons why he didn't reply my postcards. I can't help but feel anger surge inside me. It was just two years after we separated, how dare he ignore my attempt to keep our relationship? I walk briskly to the door and press the doorbell. After one minute passed and no one answers the door, I ring the bell again. Still no answer. He must have gone out. I didn't think about this possibility so now I'm left baffled as to what my next step is.
I finally turn back to take a stroll around the neighborhood, maybe I will bump into Sakuragi somewhere. After walking for about fifteen minutes, I meet a familiar figure that makes me automatically glower. It's Sendoh. But then I remember that he was in the same team with Sakuragi so maybe even though he has graduated, he knows where I can find Sakuragi. So I lessen my hostility and nod curtly at him. He just grins widely.
"I thought you won't be returning." He says while grinning.
"I'm looking for Sakuragi. Did you see him?" I ask straightforwardly.
"Have you tried his place?"
"I just went there but no one answered the door."
Sendoh ponders for a while before opening his mouth. "Not his old house. He moved away after graduating high school and he's rooming with Mitsui now." Sendoh explains casually. I bristle immediately. All this time I was worried about Sendoh but it is Mitsui that stands in my way all along?! I'm so pissed because it will be harder to separate Sakuragi from Mitsui. He always has soft spot for that darn guy.
"I need the address." Forget about politeness, I demand Sendoh to give me the address. I quickly write it down in my phone when Sendoh spills it to me. "Thanks." I say briefly before I up my pace to my next destination.
They live in a modern apartment. It's not expensive mansion but it seems on the fancy ends of a salary man apartment. I slip inside the building when a resident makes an exit. I don't want to notify them both of my presence so I get inside the elevator and go straight to their room. It's on the 6th floor room 610. The name plate in front of the door says Mitsui and Sakuragi. It irks me to no end because I still remember the hostility Mitsui was giving me during our high school life. I bet he was ecstatic to know I left so he could take my place as the rebound guy. Darn that sneaky bastard! I knock the door harshly because the anger is back.
Before I knock once again, the door is opened showing a pissed off face of the devil himself. "Mitsui." I hiss in anger. He looks startled for a moment before he composes himself and closes the door behind him, making us both stand in the aisle.
"What do you want now, Mr Rich Guy?" He asks sarcastically.
"I'm here for Sakuragi. I don't have time for your shit." I answer heatedly.
"Well, after you left Sakuragi just like that without contacting him even once and now suddenly you pop out here out of nowhere, I believe you have to spare some time for my shit." He snaps.
"Move out. It's him I want to see and not you." I clench my fists and change my stance a little bit, ready to make it physical anytime he asks for it.
"What makes you think you can stroll back here like you've done nothing wrong after you left just like that? Did you take Sakuragi as someone to entertain your spare time?" He growls before moving slightly in a threatening stance. "I've warned you before that if you hurt him I would make you pay. Consider this is your pay day." And then he launched himself at me.
~ to be continued ~