Scars that remain

Shizuo awoke to the sound of the door opening. The hinges clearly needed oiling, the thing creaking open, his younger brother groaning as their eyes met. "...Nii-san." The door opened the whole way giving him a glimpse of the male officer standing outside his room and the two patients walking outside, a nurse going in a different direction.

The teen wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep, only that he had. It was depressing that he had cried himself to sleep just like a small child. But it seemed as if it had helped a bit. The way the policeman stared at them before reaching to close the door puzzled him. Trying to adjust the blanket again, he noticed Kasuka hadn't moved from the door.

As much as he wanted to be alone right now, that would be selfish to his brother. There were dark circles around Kasuka's eyes, his mouth set in a thin line twitching every so often, those blank eyes looked haunted. Just like him, the teen wasn't wearing a hospital gown. The dark skinny jeans covered his ankles, bare feet padding slowly across the floor. His torso was covered in bandages masking the dozens of cuts underneath. "...Nii-san, I-"

Wordlessly Shizuo shuffled over as far as he could without dislodging his elevated leg. Flipping back the covers he let out a deep sigh. "...Its fine." It had been his fault that Kasuka had been caught and played with. A brief light flickered in that dark gaze, his brother hurrying into the free space next to him.

"...How is your leg?" Kasuka murmured next to him. There was tension between them, an awkwardness that stopped his lips from moving and saying what he wanted to. It was probably the same for his sibling. Bridging the gap he pulled the other close.

"I don't know. I haven't tried moving it." Kasuka only nodded, the two of them lapsing into silence. There was so much he wanted to ask and so much he dreaded to know the answers for. "...How is the acting going?" Baby steps. He knew neither one of them wanted to tread past the comfort zone. Some memories would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"...Good. My manager managed to sweet talk the director around. It was okay since they liked my acting anyway. The filming should have started a... couple of days ago..." Shizuo averted his eyes knowing Kasuka was trying to prod him in that direction. "Nii-san?" Shit. Shaking his head the teen forced a smile.

"...That's good. How is mum?" No. That wasn't a safe question either. Damn it. There was no avoiding it. They needed to talk about it. A hand rested on his shoulder squeezing gently in comfort. "I-I-" Shaking his head Shizuo gazed mournfully into those haunted eyes.

"It's okay, Nii-san. You helped me through this last time. We'll get through it together." Kasuka's monotone voice cracked, distress seeping through. Both of them were damaged through the experience. "It's going to be okay." His brother scooted closer pressing to his side. "That doesn't hurt, does it?" Shaking his head, Shizuo wrapped his arms loosely around the injured teen, holding him close.

"...Just like old times, huh?" The smile was forced, as was the small laugh that tore at his throat. It would take a long time for Kasuka to bounce back, hopefully it didn't affect his acting. Shizuo sighed wondering if he himself would ever recover. They would help each other get through it. Kanra was gone and unable to hurt anyone again.

Shizuo felt slightly envious watching his brother sleep. It hadn't taken long. Within moments Kasuka had closed his eyes feeling safe. Did that mean he hadn't been sleeping? In that place the teen hadn't really been paying attention to his brother. He knew that Izaya had tried to feed him keeping calm when the food had been spat out.

Izaya had taken care of both of them. He knew the raven hadn't liked Kasuka but for him he tried his best. How much Kasuka had eaten and drank he wasn't too sure making him feel guilty. The blond knew he had become greedy, clutching to his own happiness as if it would fade away into nothing. In reality Kasuka should hate him for abandoning him. Shizuo wouldn't blame him if he did.

Reaching out his crooked finger stroked his brother's cheek, trying to ease the frown that had appeared, the flickering eyelids and clenched fists. A nightmare. Again they would need to go through therapy and long nights of not being able to sleep. "...I'm sorry." Shizuo whispered gently lifting Kasuka onto his chest and cradling the teen. "I'm sorry, Kasuka."

The slightest noise had his head snapping to attention. The wind against the window, the footsteps outside the door as one policeman walked away and another took their place. It was getting late. No one had come in. No nurses or doctors, not even his parents. Shizuo stifled a groan feeling Kasuka jab him in the ribs as his brother tossed and turned. There was no chance of him getting to sleep, which he wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not.

On the plus side there would be no nightmares plaguing him when he closed his eyes, instead he would have to put up with his thoughts. "Ugh...no." Kasuka thrashed fighting an enemy no longer near them. It was no use either of them trying to sleep.

"Kasuka. Wake up!" Raising his voice, he could see dark eyes staring through the small glass panel. Averting his gaze, Shizuo focused on pulling his brother from his nightmare. Wide eyes shot open shadows lurking within those dark orbs. Kasuka tried to pull away from him still lost within his nightmare. "Come on. Wake up."

His brother blinked sitting up and panting harshly looking wildly around the room. "...Nii-san?" The teen clung to him desperately. Shizuo tried to calm him threading his fingers gently through the messy locks. "...The cuts on your chest...Did Orihara-san make them?" Kasuka's voice shook his eyes still wide.

"Izaya did, Kanra made them worse...Listen, Kasuka I- I mean when you drove off, did you get arrested? His own voice wavered pressing on into painful territory. Even if it hurt, Shizuo needed answers and would rather have them from his brother rather than a complete stranger.

"Nii-san, you want to know what happened after you were taken?" Those haunted eyes bore into his own, a mass of secrets behind them. Swallowing thickly Shizuo scrubbed a hand through his hair. Was it really what he wanted?

"Yeah. Tell me everything. I can't avoid it forever. What happened after I went in for Chiyoko?" His heart was pounding nervously, his gaze directed at the blankets. Even if he wasn't ready to hear it, even if it made him feel sick... "Tell me." Shizuo groaned feeling Kasuka stare at him.

"Alright. I sped away in the car after you left. The police chased after me until I crashed swerving some guy at the lights. No one got hurt. I got arrested and taken to the station. I had to call both our mother and my manager. They weren't happy with me, so I told them the truth. At first they didn't believe me. They thought I was crazy and the last time I met Orihara-san was making me see things that weren't there." Shizuo knew how that felt. No one had believed him and perhaps if they had the whole situation could have been stopped in it's tracks.

"I made sure to be persistent until the police escorted all three of us to Chiyoko's house. We found the bodies and the blood everywhere. At first they thought you were a suspect and set out to track you down. It was only after Kadota and Karisawa came forward that the police saw things in a different light. Nii-san, there are a lot of rumours and bad things going around about you. There was a reporter going around catching snippets and creating stories."

"Things have been...stressful. Mother almost had a breakdown and was fired from her job. Father took it better believing you were innocent. The police found out that Orihara-san had escaped. They didn't do much. Everyday I feared the worst. I tried to keep up with acting but I knew you were still out there..." Shizuo sighed laying back against the pillows. Maybe it would be better not to ever leave the room.

"Then a man with bright red hair knocked on the door. He said he was your mentor. Akabayashi-san listened to my story in silence. Once I was finished he only sighed and seemed to know everything. Nii-san he gave me a tracking device and told me to be careful. He said I was a loose end." Kasuka shook his head burying his face in his hands.

"He was right. I was on my way to the set when she cornered me. I thought it was Orihara-san, I just froze. She told me to throw my phone away and follow her. I thought maybe she would lead me to you, so I followed. When she said we were close I was knocked out. I woke up tied up on a bed." Shizuo grit his teeth wanting to rip the bitch apart.

"She cut me, threatening to do to me what she had done to you." Shizuo shuddered staring wide eyed. "...I know everything. She told me in detail laughing crazily and then I was brought to you." Kasuka looked away and he knew it wasn't the full story.

"Kasuka, why were you in the bath when I found you?" Kasuka had left out the part where Izaya had been involved. Shizuo knew it had been done on purpose. His brother thought he had been brainwashed by the flea.

"Nii-san, Orihara-san is no good. He did the same things as the girl didn't he? It's best to forget about him." Noticing the look in his eye, Kasuka turned away. "...He saved me. You were asleep so he could leave the room. He was always watching over you. Kanra hated that, threatening to kill me in front of you. It was the bedroom the two of them shared, Orihara-san came in saw me. He started screaming at her about how it was going to upset you and ruin everything." Shizuo nodded feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Orihara-san tried to lift me from the bed. I fought him. He's evil Nii-san, don't let yourself be tricked. He held me down taping my mouth shut and binding my ankles and wrists. I couldn't move. The two of them were still screaming at each other, Orihara-san carrying me from the room. I saw you fast asleep on the bed unharmed. That was the last I remembered until you found me." Izaya had saved Kasuka. He had known but it made his heart swell hearing it.

"Nii-san, you chose him over me. I understand it wasn't your fault. I don't hate you. In the morning the police will want to talk to you and father will be here. Everything will go back to normal. We'll get the help we need. The feelings you think you have for Orihara-san will disappear now that he's not here. You never loved him. You just believed you did." Kasuka's nails dug into the back of his hands clasping them tightly.

Shizuo forced a smile ruffling his brother's hair. He didn't love Izaya? Of course he did. Izaya was the only one he would ever love. Why else would the raven plague his thoughts? For now he would remain silent about his feelings. They would never disappear, no matter how many people doubted him or how many therapists tried to get inside his head.

Shuffling down under the blankets, Shizuo closed his eyes hoping to at least get some sleep before morning hit. From what Kasuka was saying his life was about to get harder full of rumours and accusations. "Try and get some sleep, Kasuka. It's over now." Kasuka hadn't done anything wrong so he shouldn't have been too hard with all the stories. His younger brother curled up next to him, their hands clasped. Scars heal, they had been through it once and they could do it again.