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Still Here – Chapter 34

"So, how was the honeymoon?"

Kate looked up from her desk and the pile of paperwork that had accumulated during her absence. "Good morning to you too, Lanie," she drawled out as she turned her head slowly, giving her friend a tiny glare of feigned annoyance, a skilled art she'd perfected ever since Castle started to follow her around like a little lost lovesick puppy.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Lanie waved it off and plopped down into the chair next to Beckett's desk, a chair that she'd always associate with Castle. She had even caught herself longingly staring at it when he was gone. "Morning. Now… you're not deflecting that question, Mrs. Castle." Kate rolled her eyes. "The honeymoon… how was it? I want details, girlfriend."

She shifted her weight in her chair, hearing the springs and joints groan as she leaned back. Lowering her brow, she tried to ignore the hints her chair was sending her over her weight gain. Thanks to Castle—the man was a glutton sometimes—she'd probably put on more weight than she normally would have. But then again, she wasn't exactly packing on the pounds. Most of her extra weight could be attributed to the fact that she was carrying two little humans inside her.

"It was good," Kate answered at length, hesitant to share too much with her friend at the moment. "You know, it was nice to be alone, just the two of us. We took some time to just relax and milk it all in, absorb the fact that we actually got married and are having twins." She paused and shrugged. "We got back Saturday evening, had a late dinner with Alexis and Martha, and went to bed. And then spent most of Sunday just lazing around the Loft."

"Ugh, girl… I don't want the cliff notes version, but if you must, at least give me some of the highlights and don't gloss over them like you usually try to do… I wanna know about that wedding night."

"Lanie… are you serious?" Kate looked around, a little flustered. Her friend gave her an expectant look. "Jeez, Lanie… I'm not going to give you blow by blow accounts here… in the middle of the bullpen."

"How about later… say lunch?" Lanie questioned, raising her eyebrows conspiratorially. "We'll go to that one café down the street and find someplace secluded to sit. Then you can give me all the juicy details."

Kate squirmed in her seat, not sure how to appease her friend. In the past she wouldn't hesitate to gossip about guys and such. Even if it had to be dragged out of her, she'd always been able to confide in Lanie about her… er… romantic escapades. But now that she was finally with Castle, when she did share, it almost felt like she was taking away something that was special about their time alone together. And when she thought about it that way, Kate realized it was because of just how special it was with Castle.

Unlike any of her previous romantic relationships, it really was special. No one had ever loved her the way Rick Castle did, both emotionally and physically. When they were together, they made love. Even when it was hard and fast, it was still lovemaking. They didn't ever just have sex. That wasn't them. Each time was always special in its own unique way. And that, above all else, was not something Kate was willing to share, even with her best friend.

Coming to this realization was almost like having an epiphany. It was a sudden revelation, stemming from an inescapable chain of events that could not be denied. It was an irrefutable fact. And Kate would embrace it, both in acknowledging the meaning behind it, and the change it would incur on her friendship with Lanie. It was inevitable, really, that things would change this way once she got married. She'd always known it would happen. It was just difficult to concede to it. Kate Beckett didn't like change.

"Lanie, I don't know about that," she spoke up, lowering her voice as she also ducked her head, cautious of inquiring ears. Fortunately, the nosiest individuals of the bunch—Esposito and Ryan—were currently out picking up a suspect.

"We can eat somewhere else, if your worried about someone overhearing us talk," Lanie gave a knowing wink, not truly understanding what she was trying to say.

"No, Lanie, not that…," Kate almost hissed out. "Lunch… lunch is fine. Just… I just don't think I'm really interested in sharing the juicy details, as you put it, anymore."

"W-What? Kate, I don't understand, we've always traded details," Lanie blinked, startled, furrowing her brow in confusion. Clearly Lanie hadn't given any thought over this potential outcome to the detective and writer boy marrying.

"Lanie," Kate sighed, rolling her chair closer to her friend, knitting her eyebrows together as she worked out how best to verbalize her latest insight into her relationship and ever-changing life. She grimaced slightly at how the shift in her position caused two little ones to kick and squirm inside her, Kate put a hand over her swollen belly and rub soothing patterns into the taut skin through the fabric of her blouse, seeking to calm the twins, before looking up at her friend and speaking. "We both knew that this was going to come… at least, I did. Castle… Lanie, he's different than any other guy I've been with."

"You got that right," Lanie smirked.

"Yeah, well, besides his more colorful character traits," Kate smiled back, "He's a good man. A better man than I probably deserve." Her sassy friend gave her a dubious look. "I mean, Lanie, he waited for me when any other man would have just given up. That's got to say something, right?"

"That's true," Lanie inclined her head in agreement.

"So, you see, the thing is… with Castle, what I have with him, is different," Kate tried to explain. "What we have… is special. It took me a while to realize and accept that, but when I did… God, Lanie… it was amazing—is amazing. No one has loved me like he does."

Lanie's eyes sparkled with a glistening of fresh tears. "Oh sweetie, I'm so happy for you," she said, taking a deep breath, reaching out and squeezing Kate's hand in joy. "Okay… I understand. No juicy details. But don't you think that you're not off the hook for some good old fashion girl talk."

Kate cracked a grin and bobbed her head. "Girl talk, I can handle. Just as long as what Castle and I do together stays off the table."

"Off the table?" Oh no, Lanie had that devious look in her eyes. "What sort of things have you and writer boy been up to… on a table?" Lanie asked with a teasing smirk and raised eyebrows, challenging.

Kate huffed out a nervous feigned laugh and rolled her eyes, before shifting back to her paperwork and mumbling, "I plea the fifth."

"I'll take that as a yes," Lanie said with a triumphant grin as she leaned forward on an elbow. "So… tell me, which table should I avoid eating at next time we all go out to the Hamptons?"

XXX

Kate slid the key into the lock and turned it, pushing the door open and trudging inside the loft. Due to the fact that she'd now been put on desk duty, as a result of reaching her last trimester, Kate found she was able to come home early today, earlier than she normally would.

She wasn't the first to admit that she could—at times—be a workaholic, but in all honesty, she was. It was just who she was. Recently, however, she had decided to take advantage of all the free time she could get, considering that in three months, she'd suddenly have her hands full with two babies… not to mention Castle… so make that three babies.

So, Kate had no qualms leaving the precinct, still having a massive mound of paperwork to finish. Besides, the paperwork could wait until tomorrow. Right now, she wanted to see her husband.

A broad happy smile overcame her face as Kate shrugged out of her coat, placing it on the coatrack by the front door. Part of her still found it impossible to believe that she'd actually married Richard Castle. But the proof of it sat on her left ring finger. She held up her hand, gazing down at the wedding band as the cool metal sparkled in the dim lighting coming from the kitchen.

Tossing her keys into the bowl on the credenza, Kate stepped further into the loft, resting a hand on her swollen belly, tenderly running circles over the stretched skin through the fabric of her blouse. She paused there, in the entryway, finally taking note of how quiet the loft was. Her brow furrowed with confusion, stepping deeper into the loft, looking around for her writer.

"Castle?" she called out.

No response.

Okay… now she was worried. He never failed to greet her when she returned home ever since she moved in. Usually, when he was not coming back from the precinct with her, he'd rushing out to hug and kiss her when she got back from work. Picking up the pace, Kate half-jogged across the open loft area towards Castle's office.

She slowed down, breathing heavier than she normally would, as she reached the threshold of his office. Kate blinked, stopping suddenly as she glimpse the profile of a naked woman on his flat screen TV. Had he seriously been watching porn while she was at work? At least he has the volume down, she thought, huffing a strand of hair out of her face.

"Castle!" she snapped, seeing him jerk violently. "What the hell is this?"

Castle let out a girly yelp, literally falling out of his chair. He hurriedly reached back for the remote and shut the TV off. With a groan, rubbing his forehead, Castle hesitantly turned around to face her, looking a bit scared for his manhood. Kate narrowed her eyes at him in a glare, crossing her arms over her chest. When she noticed him flinch under her harsh gaze, her lips quirked up in a tight smirk.

"Ah, Kate… you're home," he fumbled, nervously glancing back at the dark screen. Castle spun back to her and raised his hands in a manner to try and soothe her ire. "Um… it's not what it looks like."

"Is that so?" she arched an eyebrow at him, taking another step into the office. "Because it looked to me like you were watching a porno."

Castle's eyes went wide. "I… um… no, no," he shook his head, his cheeks flushing with color. "I told you, I don't need porn anymore. Not now that I got you."

"Sure," she grounded out with a touch of sarcasm, working to keep the heat in her glare. It was hard, though. She really felt like rolling her eyes, but she wanted to keep her eyes on him. It was kind of fun to make him squirm.

"No, really," he stressed, gesturing wildly with his hands. "I wasn't watching porn." Castle stepped back and offered her his chair. "Here, sit. Let me show you."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "I don't know, Castle," she hedged, unsure if she really wanted to find out what he had been watching that had him all flushed and skittish. Plus, the brief glimpse she got of the naked woman on the screen made her self-conscious. She didn't exactly feel sexy right now, even if Castle still couldn't keep his hands off her and would constantly reassure her, not just with his words, that he found her sexually desirable.

"Please, Kate," he pleaded. "Trust me."

She sucked in a deep breath and glanced away for a second, before nodding her head in agreement as she ran her lower lip under her teeth. Castle beamed, stepping forward as he brought a hand up to brush her hair back from her face, tucking some loose strands behind her ear. He tilted his head down, his eyes sparkling, and then leaned forward, dipping down to slant his lips softly over hers. His palm cradled her jaw, his thumb affectionately caressing her cheek.

"Welcome home," Castle murmured against her lips as he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers.

Kate closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. Her lips tugged up in a slight smile. "Now that's the welcome home greeting I was expecting," she chuckled lightly before leaning back in for another kiss, slow and languid, letting her tongue probe his bottom lip just enough to make him open for her.

Castle's hand moved up from her jaw, his fingers digging into her hair, pulling her closer, his nose mashed against hers. Kate flicked her tongue along the roof of his mouth, smiling triumphantly when she coaxed a moan from deep within his chest. Dropping her hands to his shoulders, she twined her fingers together behind the nape of his neck, nuzzling into him.

"You're amazing," he breathed out, his voice dark and husky.

"We're amazing," she corrected, giving him another quick kiss, before pushing him back and sliding down into the waiting chair.

Kate smiled up at him, eyeing him from behind her lashes, as he heaved in a deep breath, his fingers running over his lips, looking slightly dazed. Castle licked his lips and glanced down at her with dark aroused eyes. Yep. She was that good.

"You sure you still wanna show me this porno?" she asked, quirking up an eyebrow in challenge. "We could just go into the bedroom and make our own."

Castle coughed, nearly tripping over his own two feet as he bent down to retrieve the remote. Kate brought her hand over her mouth as she laughed, giving him an apologetic look when he glanced back at her with a pout.

"Well?" she pushed, wanting to see what he'd do.

He gulped, his eyes anxiously looking around the office. "You really need to see this," he pressed.

A frown creased her brow. Damn it, now her interest was piqued. Folding her arms over her chest as she leaned back in his chair, Kate inclined her head in consent. "Alright, Castle, let's see this porno that's got you all flustered," she said, smirking slightly at his wide eyes.

"First… do I have you're guarantee that you won't hit me?" Castle questioned, sliding up onto the edge of the desk beside her.

"Why? Am I going to have a reason to hit you?" she asked, curious.

He shrugged, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. "Maybe," he tentatively replied with a worried expression.

"Just show it to me, and if I hit you… then I hit you," she asserted, then smirked deviously. "If I hurt you somewhere, then I promise to kiss it and make it better." She added a saucy wink.

Castle let out a nervous laugh, and bobbed his head. Kate bit her lower lip and shook her head.

"Just push play," she commanded.

Castle adjusted the remote in his hand, activating the flat screen, and turning the DVD player back on at the same time. Kate turned her attention away from him and focused on the TV, watching as the playback started.

The image was grainy and blurry, a bit out of focus. It took a few moments for the picture to stabilize, the video still shaky, as if from a handheld camera. Kate knitted her eyebrows together, confused. This didn't look like a porno. She glanced back at Castle, puzzled. He noticed her gaze, and blinked nervously, studiously keeping his eyes pointed ahead at the screen.

Chewing on her lower lip, a habit she adopted when uncertain and confused, Kate let her eyes fall back on the shaky image coming from the TV screen. It blinked in and out of focus until stilling, bringing the glassy planes and hard lines of a building's window into sharp focus. She squinted, still unable to fully make out what she was looking at.

There was some movement. She unconsciously moved forward in the chair. The camera angle changed, and blurred for a moment before finding its focus.

Kate's eyes went wide.

It was her. There… on the screen, taking her shirt off and unceremoniously throwing it over her shoulder.

She blinked in stunned shock, watching as her onscreen-self reached behind her back and unhooked her bra, flinging it aside and freeing her breasts. Her hands came up and grabbed the head of the man she was straddling on the couch, pulling him forward, burying his face into her breasts as she ran her fingers lustfully through his hair.

"God… Castle," she choked out, flicking her eyes up to him. "Is… is this what I think it is?"

He swallowed, his eyes big and frightened. "Yes… yes it is," he answered, licking his lips nervously.

Kate felt a hot flash of mortification wash over her as she glanced back at the video, seeing her onscreen-self stripping before Castle, baring all to him. And then, without hesitation, she was pouncing on Castle, sinking down on him, her long legs wrapped around his waist, his hands roaming through her hair and down her back, grabbing her ass to help guide her hips in that delightfully erotic motion.

Jumping out of the chair, Kate grabbed the remote from a blushing Castle, fumbling as she tried to find the controls to turn the TV off. Growling, she gritted her teeth and punched the button, stopping the playback and returning the DVD player to its stand-bye mode.

"Jesus!" she cursed. "What the hell?" Kate spun on Castle, jabbing him in the chest with a finger. "Explain! NOW!"

He held up his hands in surrender. "It wasn't me!" he feebly objected, wincing at the ire flashing in her eyes. He stumbled back from her, still holding his hands up. "Look, Kate, you know famous people get stalkers, right?"

Kate raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.

"Hey, I'm famous enough to warrant a stalker!" he groused, pushing out his bottom lip in a pout.

"Off subject, Castle," she gritted out, steeling her glare.

She wanted answers. And she wanted them now. Most of her was just plain mortified by the fact that there was actually a video of them having sex and it wasn't one that they had made. The fact that someone had watched, let alone filmed, their first time together just disturbed her to no end. She shuddered involuntarily, feeling violated.

"Right," Castle bobbed his head, looking so apologetic, like it was all his fault, which in a way it was… since he was famous. But she already knew that about him. She knew that about him long before she got him drunk and jumped him.

Closing her eyes, Kate shielded herself against his puppy-dog expression. She wasn't going to fall for it. "Just… tell me, Rick."

*So this chapter was originally around 6700+ words long. I felt it was too long and warranted breaking it into 2 chapters. I'll wait for a decent number of reviews before posting part 2 of this chapter.