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Chapter 37 – Unexpected Conditions

Sethie appeared on their doorstep every day, waking them with her knock at dawn. Apparently, Lady Dis' statement that she was there to aid Hanah extended throughout the pregnancy. Bleary eyed, Hanah or Hemery would open the door for her, but as soon as she entered, Sethie insisted they go back to sleep. ("Miss Hanah needs her rest.") But Hanah never had the peace of mind to oblige her. The thought of someone working in her home while she slept sat ill with her. Hemery did not share her sister's qualms, but hastily returned to the bearskins in the alcove. Unfortunately, spring was approaching fast, pushing the sun to rise earlier every day.

The dwarf woman aggravated the sisters as often as she cheered them with her genuine interest to optimize their living conditions. She finished tasks more efficiently than Hanah or Hemery, often before they realized she had begun. Hemery was even able to return to school now that Sethie helped them.

One afternoon when work was done for the day, and Sethie prepared supper, Hanah and Hemery visited Dwalin.

"That maid of yers can't brew tea?" he scoffed, pouring three cups.

"'Course she can," Hanah contradicted.

"She's not our maid," said Hem.

"Should I assume she's a thief then the way I've seen her skulkin' around the yard with my firewood."

"She's workin' as a maid, yes," Hanah explained. "But she's not our maid."

Hanah had given Sethie the jar of jam to thank her for her efforts that week. It soothed Hanah's conscience. Sethie had been very grateful, claiming crowberries were the jewels of the forest, dearer than its weight in gold.

"Lady Dis is her mistress, not me."

"I," Hem supplied.

"Alright," Hanah agreed reluctantly. "There's no need to be cheeky. I know she's probably reportin' every little thing back to Dis, makin' sure I don't disappear again. But the princess insisted."

"I meant I, not aye," Hem clarified. "As in Dis is her mistress, not I. The schoolmaster gets very upset when we use the wrong words."

Hanah sighed. "But you understood what I meant."

"Yes."

"Then what difference does it make what words I use?" Hanah rubbed her forehead.

Hemery knew her sister was hungry and tired from the long day. Her temper grew shorter as her stomach grew bigger. So Hemery did not argue.

"Yer company is amusin' as ever," Dwalin commented dryly. "But may I ask why ye're here? Ye have supper waitin'."

"Yes, I have somethin' I need to . . . discuss with you," Hanah ventured.

Dwalin waited.

"What would you say if–if we went to live in the mountain?" Hanah frowned, hardly daring to meet his eye.

Dwalin's eyebrows slowly knotted as he listened.

"When we were in Esgaroth, I know you wanted us to go back, but is it a good idea, do you think?" Hanah clawed at a callus on her hand.

"So that's what they've been tellin' ye, eh?" He scratched his chin through his beard. "I reckon that's what Dis came for. Probably did a solid day's work at that. Few can withstand her . . . eloquence." He almost spat the word.

Hanah did not understand this sudden annoyance toward Lady Dis. His feelings towards her seemed to go up and down with the seasons.

Dwalin sighed. "She's probably right, of course. More often than not, she's right. She'll want her grandchild safe and close. Erebor is the safest place for ye, no doubt."

He looked down at the grooves in the table, brushing away dust and crumbs with his large hand.

"I'll finally have some peace and quiet around here then, with you lot gone." His eyes were still trained on the surface in front of him.

Hanah gathered that he did not want to keep them from a good life under the Durins' wings for an unsure future remaining here. But Hemery did not interpret the situation in the same way.

"That's it? You'll just let us go live with those people?" Hem snapped.

"Are ye willin' to risk yer sister––and the unborn––to pursue yer grudge against Fee? Don't let jealousy cloud yer judgement."

Jealousy? Hemery seethed. She was most certainly not jealous of that blundering, big-eared bastard. Though she had a hard time seeing why Hanah would find him so fascinating, and why she constantly jeopardized their comfort to be with him. Hemery clenched her jaw tightly. She wanted to ask if she could stay here with Dwalin, but she could not leave Hanah alone in the deep caverns of the mountain.

"You can still visit Dwalin whenever you want," Hana tried to raise her sister's spirits.

"Whenever?" Dwalin questioned, clearly uncomfortable by the unpredictability of Hemery's future visits, but Hanah ignored him.

"We have to think of what's best for the baby," Hanah said. "And nothin' will change really. We'll still work and do whatever we've been doin' here. You can train with Dwalin and go to school. "

Hemery remembered her own conclusions about family and security, but she thought all issued would be resolved once they returned to live with Dwalin. Apparently, it was still dangerous and too much work for them to look after a child. Hemery thought everyone was overreacting.

"Be prepared for some changes though," Dwalin interjected. "Ye'll be free to do what ye want, but ye'll have guards tailin' ye when ye leave yer rooms."

Hanah suspected as much, seeing the swarms of people Dis and Fíli surrounded themselves with.

"What? Those oafs?" Hemery exclaimed, remembering her last encounter with the royal guard. "All the time?"

"Some of them are alright." Dwalin waved away her concerns. "I'll help ye pick out some good ones. Not to worry."

Hemery pouted severely now, but there was nothing for it.

"Did Fíli ask anythin' of ye?" Dwalin was careful in his phrasing. Hanah could tell.

"No." She shook her head. "He just asked us to live in Erebor. He didn't even demand an answer."

Now it was her turn to look down at the table. She did not want to talk about all the things she had left unspoken with Fíli. Things were unstable enough as it was.

"Well, I can't tell ye what to do––never could," Dwalin settled. "But I trust ye to do what ye think is right, which is all anyone can hope for."

Hanah and Hemery finished their tea and got up to return to Sethie and their waiting supper. But as Hanah steeped out, Dwalin put his hand on Hemery's shoulder, stopping her a moment.

"Remember," he said, "being invited to live in Erebor is a great honour. You must learn to appreciate an opportunity when ye see it, no matter what taste it leaves in yer mouth."

Hemery did not want to agree, but she knew what he said made some sense.

Dwalin squeezed her shoulder one final time. "And whatever happens––listen to yer sister."

Hanah felt strange standing next to Sethie in Erebor. Had it not been for Sethie's constant questioning of Hanah's wellbeing, one could almost think Hanah was the maid of the two. The dwarf looked more of a noble than Hanah did because of her posture and her clothing.

"Are you sure you won't sit down?" Sethie asked as they waited in the corridor outside the south wing.

"I sat down all day, workin'. I'm fine." Hanah smiled reassuringly.

There was nowhere to sit in the corridor anyway.

Due to Hanah's inactivity in the mountain the last six months, she was not allowed inside the royal quarters, nor had she any way to contact Fíli to talk about his proposition. When she had mentioned going to Erebor to seek him out, Sethie offered to relay a message beforehand, so he knew she was coming. Now Sethie and Hanah waited outside the entrance to the south wing, watching people passing by.

Hanah noticed more guards on this floor. Security was probably higher since the incident with Fíli. She wondered if Dwalin would be satisfied with the current state, or if he still would find it lacking.

"Perhaps he has more pressin' business," Hanah guessed when Fíli had not yet showed up. Her toes were starting to go numb in her boots. Despite the giant furnaces burning in the deep, the south wing was quite chilly due to its proximity to the entrance hall where the doors were always open.

"He'll be here. Don't worry," Sethie said.

"I'm not worried. I'm just sayin' perhaps we should come back another time when he's less busy." Hanah pushed herself up on tiptoes a few times to get the blood flowing to her feet.

"Hanah," Fíli called.

She turned toward the sound. Fíli approached them from the stairs with a pleasant smile, followed by Kíli, Balin, and a handful of guards. They were probably on their way between meetings.

"Prince Fíli." She bowed her head. Sethie did the same.

"Please. None of that," he dismissed. "How are you? Come sit down and have something warm to drink."

Fíli motioned towards his chambers beyond the wall of guards, but Hanah made no move to enter.

"Thank you, but this won't take long," Hanah said.

"You should not have to walk back and forth like this," he said, quickly switching between topics. "I would have met you at your house if I had more time beforehand."

"I didn't want to inconvenience you. I know you are busy."

Fíli stepped closer, taking her hand in his. Pinning her with an earnest look, he spoke low, as if to her alone.

"I am never, and will never be, too busy to see you. Understand?"

His expression remained intensely focused while he waited for an answer. Hanah's throat was suddenly thick, and she did not trust her voice to speak. Instead, she forced a small smile and nodded.

Fíli's smile widened, satisfied, and Hanah recognized that intimate gleam she had not seen in so long play in his eyes.

"So, what is this matter that could not wait?" he asked. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yes," she hurried to say, not wanting him to alarm him. "I just wanted to tell you that I have come to a decision."

A beat of silence passed before his face cleared in understanding. He drew a deep breath as if wanting to say something at great length, but he refrained, as if swallowing the words instead.

"I see," was all he said.

Fíli went very still, but Hanah felt his hand grip hers a little tighter. She hesitated before continuing, sorting through her thoughts again. Not because of uncertainty of her answer, but all the feelings it would eventually evoke––primarily in herself.

She was also aware of how visible the two of them were to all who passed the south wing, to all who ascended the stairs or lingered at the balconies, to Sethie, and to Fíli's companions. Hanah could feel her chest fill with heat at Fíli's closeness and his fingers around hers. Hopefully, it was just the effect of her thick coat.

"I accept," she said.

Fíli breathed out, relieved, and lit up with the greatest dimpled smile she had ever seen. It almost distracted her from what she wanted to say.

"She needs her family," Hanah said, explaining her decision. "She should not grow up like me and Hemery."

Fíli nodded. "I understand completely," he said soberly, careful to temper his eagerness.

"But I have conditions."

"Name them." Not surprised, he did not miss a beat in his response.

"I want me and Hemery to have a room with a window."

"Fine."

Hanah looked at him pointedly, explaining further. "A real window to the outside, with glass panes."

"Right," he replied assuredly.

So far so good.

"And I assume you want to appoint guards for us."

Fíli averted his eyes, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Well, yes . . . I'm afraid it's necessary."

"I want to choose my own."

"Oh. I guess that's fine. But how––?"

"The answer to that brings me to my next request," Hanah proceeded methodically, keeping her chin high. "I want Dwalin to be free to move back to Erebor. I want him to feel welcome in my new home and move about as he wishes."

"Um––" He seemed uncomfortable at the thought.

Hanah had anticipated this. Dwalin and King Thorin did not get along, to put it mildly. Of course Fíli was hesitant to grant such a wish.

"Is that a problem?" If it was impossible, perhaps she should reconsider her choice.

"No." He shook his head quickly. "I'll see to it."

"Good, because Dwalin will help pick out members of my guard."

Another smile made its way onto his face at that. He nodded knowingly.

Hanah's hand now felt nailed to his, and she wondered how she would ever let him go.

When silence stretched, he spoke.

"That's all?"

"Yes," she replied, rousing herself. "That's all. I'll, um––I'll let you get back to work."

She turned to leave.

"When?" he asked, stopping her before their hands separated.

"What?"

"When do you wish to move?"

"Oh, um––I don't know." She had not thought that far. It had been a big enough step just deciding to go through with it.

"You will not have to lift a finger to transport your possessions here," Fíli was quick to establish. "And you might want to have it done before you're . . . due. Here, you will be closer to the healers, and you don't want to travel with a new born, no matter how short a journey."

He took her hand in his, rubbing her knuckles.

"Besides, I wish to see you settled here as soon as possible for my own peace of mind."

Hanah watched their joined hands, fearing the warm feelings rushing to the surface would influence her decision.

"I guess that sounds reasonable," she admitted. "There will never be a good time. Might as well get it over with."

He nodded, but did not make any move to release her or conclude their conversation. He just looked at her, gently caressing her hand.

She glanced at the people passing just a few paces away. Fíli did not seem bothered at all by their audience.

"I trust you to arrange it. I'll start packin'." Hanah knew she should head back now that they were in agreement, but she was reluctant to distance herself from him.

"You said . . . she . . ." Fíli began carefully, "about the child." He regarded her with curiosity.

Hanah had not voiced the possibility before, but when she thought of her child, she thought of a she. But perhaps Fíli wished for a male child?

"Does that bother you?" she asked, narrowing her eyes teasingly. "I know some people think it's bad luck––"

"No." He shook his head, unfazed. He took her other hand, holding both now. "If you say it's a she, it will be so," he said confidently.

"Hope so, or it will be too much work. Lads are such a load of trouble." She tried to make light of the moment, but was not sure she succeeded until he laughed.

"I don't know about that," he replied. "Lasses can make one's life uncommonly complicated."

Was he referring to children or to her? Hanah did not know, but the pointed look he gave her, a blend of heat and mirth, made her grateful that the others could not hear their low discussion.

Fíli moved closer, trailing one hand up her arm. She could feel his warm breath before he kissed her cheek lightly.

"I'm glad you accept my offer. You will not regret this," he told her.

Hanah managed to hold his eyes as she replied with a smile.

"You better make sure of it, Your Highness."

Sethie spent the rest of the afternoon sorting and packing most of the sisters' belongings. The chest in the kitchen was filled with towels, soaps, and the girls' clothes. Textiles and skins from the workshop were folded and stacked. The tools were wrapped in cloth, stuffed in bags together with jars of beads and buttons. Hanah's papers and sketches were rolled up like parchment and tied with string.

"This is a bit hasty, don't you think?" Hanah protested when she rummaged around in the kitchen chest, searching for the kit to clean her teeth. "We didn't even decide on a day yet."

Sethie just smiled. "If you spend more than one night in this place after your chat with Prince Fíli, I will be very much surprised."