The company packed all their things in silence, though Balin assured Bilbo that Thorin would come around and Dwalin made what seemed to be as much noise as he could in his anger. Beorn and Gandalf went off to talk as they loaded up their ponies, but Bilbo paid them little mind. Beorn had already apologized to him for accidentally having his company find out about his past, but Bilbo just shook his head. They were right, anyway. He really should have at least told them that much, though he wasn't sure that that would have helped them much. In fact, Bilbo's not really sure that he's said anything about his hobbit past to the dwarven group. In all fairness, they hadn't really asked him, but he had been so focused on his life as a dwarf that he hadn't really thought about his life as a hobbit. It was strange, but Bilbo didn't think much of it since he could still clearly remember both pasts.
The company set off with thirteen dwarves and a hobbit atop borrowed ponies and Gandalf riding in front of them on his own borrowed steed. For a moment Bilbo wondered where Thorin had gotten off to, but then that very dwarf came up next to him with one of his brooding frowns.
"It seems I have to apologize to you once again," Thorin said from atop his pony as they rode towards Erebor. "I should not have said such things. I had no right. I just had not expected you to have known anything about the hardships of this place."
"I take it the boys have been bothering you then," Bilbo smiled and Thorin gave a grim nod., "but I should apologize as well. I went too far this morning."
"You had every right after what I said. But that is not why I offer my apology. I have wronged you and it seems to be the only thing that I can do through this adventure. I have wronged you so much that I believe…it is dwarf custom to offer braids as a form or apology-"
Before Thorin could say anymore Bilbo interrupted him. "Don't," he glared at the dwarf as Thorin's eyes widened. "Don't ever offer your braids to me. Nothing, do you hear me, nothing is worth that."
Thorin's eyes widened slightly, which was a testament to how shocked he was since he had always been taught to never show emotion. "I didn't mean to offend you," he offered after a moment.
"I'm not offended," Bilbo sighed. "It's just… Even as a hobbit I know how important braids are to dwarves," especially the only those particular ones that Thorin still wore, "and I just don't think that…I don't want you to lose that."
"Can I braid your hair?" Bilbo asked when they woke. This was to be the final morning before the Battle to reclaim Moria and it was custom for loved ones to braid a dwarf's hair before sending them off into battle. Thorin was already working on his hair, weaving a complicated and beautiful design befitting of any consort; even one without a kingdom.
"Can you?" Thorin asked.
"Not all of them," Bilbo sighed reluctantly. With the loss of his hand, he had also lost any ability to braid hair. He was still able to brush hair, and he liked to brush Thorin's hair if only to be able to touch it, but it just wasn't the same as braiding. "But I'd at least like to try two of them. I think I could do a simpler design. Even with only one hand."
"Very well," Thorin agreed, moving to sit on the ground in front of Bilbo so that he wouldn't have to move from the fallen tree he was sitting on. It wasn't very becoming of a future king to sit on the ground in such a way, but no one would think lesser of him for it. They knew how much he loved Bilbo and knew that he would do anything to make Bilbo's life easier even if it made him seem lesser. The people only loved him more for it.
"I can do them in the back," Bilbo suggested as Thorin sat to face him. "That way it won't be as noticeable if I should mess up." Thorin may be willing to do things that would make him seem lesser, but that didn't mean that Bilbo wouldn't protest. He probably would have protested it even more if he hadn't gotten used to it while they were still living in Erebor. Thorin always spoiled him, even before he was injured so horribly.
"I want you to do the ones in the front," Thorin said. Bilbo knew better not to argue, but the true reason he didn't was because Thorin was actually allowing this of him. Braids were truly important to dwarves and the closer they were to the face, the more important they were to the dwarf.
The two that sat at the front of Thorin's head, just behind each ear, were the signs of his royal lineage and Bilbo was careful to do them as well as he could. It was much harder than he had hoped and he was eventually forced to borrow one of Thorin's hands to get the task completed, but no one said a word. It wasn't until finally accomplished putting the second bead into Thorin's hair that he leaned back. His hand hurt a bit from having to try so hard after not having done it for so long. "There," he said. "Now you can go put the rest of your braids back in while I sharpen our swords." That was another task that was made more difficult by only having one hand, but Bilbo had made sure to find a way around that very early on because he would not allow the care of his weapons to slip no matter what. That was something that his father had practically ingrained in him.
"Thank you love," Thorin said, giving Bilbo a quick kiss and leaving his weapon at Bilbo's side as he went off to check on how the people were doing.
Thorin returned to his side the moment the call sounded for them to set off and Bilbo handed his sword back to him. "Where are the rest of your braids?" After the loss of Erebor, Thorin had taken to only wearing the two most important braids, but as time went on he had begun to put some of his other ones back in. Yet, now there was just the two that Bilbo had put in.
"These are the only ones I need," Thorin said.
Bilbo blushed, knowing full well why Thorin chose to just keep those ones. It wasn't because they were the sign of his royal blood, but because Bilbo had taken the time to put them in despite his disability. That morning, he had heard some of the dwarves who had previously been doubting their ability to win this battle, saying something along the lines of "If Prince Haran can do it, then so can I." just because he had done what all those who had lost one of their hands had given up on accomplishing. It was strange how braiding hair could inspire people in such a way.
"Thank you," Bilbo said. Thorin didn't care about the inspiration the braids may have been creating, he only cared that they were done by Bilbo.
The braids had obviously been redone as there was no way that they would have lasted that long otherwise, but the fact that Thorin still only wore those ones despite how much time had passed meant everything to Bilbo. They weren't as important as they weren't the ones that Bilbo had put in just before his previous death, which is probably the only reason Thorin had been willing to offer them at all, but the meaning still remained.
Their meaning was also probably the only reason that Bilbo had gotten so mad when Thorin offered them. Thorin had a tendency to try to offer Bilbo his braids in their past life even for the smallest of slights and Bilbo always told him no as calmly as he could, knowing that Thorin only feared losing him again, but those braids meant too much to be lost. Even if he was no longer Thorin's Soulmate after having been reborn, which he couldn't be sure of unless he touched the dwarf, he would never want to see him without them.
"You seem to know much about my people," Thorin said, "but you are right. These braids are more important to me than anything. I would not have offered them to you if I did not feel that you deserved them."
"Nothing is worth that," Bilbo said again.
"You remind me of him," Thorin said suddenly.
"Of who?" Bilbo asked both hoping for and against what he feared Thorin would say.
"My Soulmate," Thorin said with a far off little smile. "He would never accept a braid even if it meant nothing to me. Perhaps that is why I treated you so cruelly. You're very much like him and I couldn't stand to see that when I can't have him anymore."
"I know it seems hopeless," Bilbo said, laying his hand on Thorin's sleeve, but being careful not to touch skin, "and I know you may not want to hear this, but there is still a chance that he may come back." Bilbo wanted more than anything to beg Thorin to believe him. Even though he knew that he could not tell Thorin who he was yet, he wanted the dwarf to at least know that he was there for him. Still, he could not force that hope on the king. It would be worse if he should die for Thorin to believe him to be out there somewhere and always be searching for him then it would be for Thorin to know it was him and watch him die. It was probably best that the king didn't believe it. "And if he's not here, then he is surely waiting for you in the Mahal's Halls of Waiting."
"You are just like him," Thorin shook his head sadly and moved away from Bilbo to lead the company by Gandalf's side.
"And you truly haven't changed," Bilbo muttered under his breath when he was sure the dwarf wouldn't hear him.
AN: Oh my gosh! I actually posted two in a row. This isn't going to be a common thing, unfortunately, though because the only reason I was able to do it this time was because I already wrote this chapter before I finished the previous one. I hope you guys enjoy it, though.