Chapter 37: Fighting Dirty:
The air ripples with blood lust as the chakra laced mist coats the world in a white haze, smothering the senses like a thick blanket as the 3 shinobi prepare to face off. 2 of the legendary 7 swordsmen verses Junketsu Maaka, genin, the kid is screwed. The silence between them deafening as adrenaline rushes the genins system like a tsunami.
The breeze faltered and kunai lash out through the cover of the mist, gliding into thin air as the purplnette back flips away, pinkish-red eyes closed, face contorted in concentration as he continuously sends out his senses to feel for chakra spikes and listening for the constant yet elusive whisper of blood which swirls and hisses with anticipation of blood shed.
Without question these men, no, these demonic beasts that classify, as Jonin weren't letting their guard down even for a lowly genin.
'Fuck my shittin life, why did I think this was a good idea again?!' Junketsu mentally cursed while twisting sideways to avoid an executioners blade taller than himself slashing through his side, his summoning hot on his heels, kicking Zabuza in the head with her powerful legs causing him to pop into water as the clone jutsu was broken. The burst of chakra from the breaking of the jutsu momentarily confusing his senses before he recovers to slide under a sweeping Samehada and slit the massive shark jonin across the abdomen to be rewarded with another pop and being splattered with water.
"The kid's better than I thought, being able to evade as fast as this. I think I'm starting to see what you find so interesting Kisame~" the bandaged mist shinobi commented as his blade missed lopping of Junketsu's head off by mere centimetres by dropping into a crouch and twirling out of slashing distance with the practiced grace of a cat. "~Though he's doing nothing but prolonging the inevitable by only using defence and evasion"
The answering manic chuckle of the blue skinned shinobi ripples through the mist "I think this one could be more interesting than you give him credit for, Zabuza. You've never faced off against a Maaka so wouldn't understand"
Junketsu tences slightly at that 'shit, shit, SHIT! I'M TOAST! OF ALL THE ROTTEN FUCKIN LUCK TO HAVE, HE'S FACED OFF WITH A MEMBER OF MY STUPID CLAN!? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the boys mind screeches spitefully, acutely aware of the movement of chakra behind him as he twists just in time to narrowly dodge samehada's scaled tip.
Right now I think I'm giving the Olympic gymnasts a run for their fuckin money considering how much time I've spent twisting to evade these friggin swords, I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD BEND AT SUCH UNNATURAL ANGLES! And here I thought Hida was the kitty! I guess I should thank Kaa-san and Usagi-sensei for all their helpful child abuse!
I officially have the worst luck in all the shinobi nations, the bastard of a god who is fuckin with my existence is determined to kick me in the balls so hard I might become a girl again, well, FUCK YOU TOO JASHIN YOU ASSHOLE!…. I'm totally going to die for that aren't I? Shit. Seriously, you couldn't write the cluster fuck that is my life, Kisame's faced a Makka, of course he's faced a fuckin Makka, the village that hates kekeigenkai is going to murder me the second he dobs me in, if I live that long, for all I know he's going to behead me and parade my dismembered corpse through Kiri… I can see it now and can practically hear my fathers' whiney sobs of 'WHY MY CHILD, DADDIES BOY!' … I'll hear him from the pits of hell… fuck it, better to hear his whining than EVER have to see him shake his booty again in public, I'll die of embarrassment!
I don't have the chakra reserves, arsenal or level of training to do anything cool and I ain't stupid enough to just wing it and come out alive; yeah not everyone is the jinchuriki of the nine tailed fox with tonnes of chakra, a signature A rank jutsu to spam and so much dumb luck it's laughable! Some people have the desire to see tomorrow unlike a certain dumb blonde knucklehead!
All I have to say is THANK FUCK FOR TACTICS! I swear I could marry whoever came up with Narutopedia, the detailed information on the characters that I may or may not have memorised because I was cool *cough* obsessive *cough* like that is saving my friggin ass!
Narrowly missing being split down the middle by Zabuza's big ass sword, I finally start my plan, PLEASE, WHATEVER ASSHOLE OF A GOD IS WATCHING ME, LET THIS WORK OR I'M GOING TO BE JUNKETSUSHI!
Zabuza's blade silently sweeps through the air trying to slice the mist-blinded genin in his sights only for the child to dodge or twirl out the way with such ease the demon is questioning how this kid is only a genin. The water clones of the to Jonin pop whenever they get to close to the small genin who attacks them without hesitation, aiming for throats and other fleshy kill spots in easy reach of his small stature. The conditions are zero visibility; which surprises the Jonin that the purplnette boy isn't overly bothered, hell, the child has his eyes closed!
Kisame smiles sharply, the kid is tracking them somehow, a technique he's never experienced in other Makka he's faced. The thought that the boy was a sensory type shinobi briefly flits across his thoughts but it's clear its more than that, a sensory ninja doesn't keep their eyes closed throughout a battle "Your interesting kid, but we've got to finish this" the shark ninja near purrs, appearing behind the boy and bringing his blade down, not planning on killing but maybe a near fatal wound wouldn't go amiss.
The child doesn't have time to evade and the scaled blue blade of samehada makes contact with his shoulder...
...
… a poof of smoke erupts from the boys body and Kisame earns himself a nasty thwack from a small furry back paw as a small but pissed off looking rabbit easily bounces around the massive blade and aims for the sharks face. "STUPID FISH FACE! YOU CUT MY BEAUTIFUL BOBTAIL!" The rabbit hisses in a way that should only be possible of snakes, eyes alight with pure unadulterated fury. Both Jonin stare where once there was a boy, both becoming alert… but not fast enough due to the distraction of a pissed off rabbit.
The sudden pain of senbon burying themselves into flesh from the mist catches both jonin unaware, earning a growl from Zabuza and a curse from the shark.
From in the mist a soft chuckling whispers through, giving away the boys position "I can't believe that actually worked!" Junketsu cheered coming out of hiding with an all to smug smirk plastering his face like a cat that got the canary and the cream.
Zabuza hisses pulling out the Senbon from his shoulder and throwing the metal needle to the ground. "don't get cocky just because you landed a hit, one measely Senbon won't save you"
The boy simply smiles brighter, exposing too many teeth while bloody pink eyes gleam in a predaroty way, these mannerisms coming together to look unhinged "Actually, it will… your asses are mine if you want the antidote, kay tall dark and sadistic? Kay"
I. AM. A. GENIUS! I can feel my mouth has twisted into a painfully large smile as adrenaline rushesmy system like a euphoric natural high! I AM AMAZEBALLS!
Being the brilliant little ninja I am, I used their own jutsu against them. The hidden mist jutsu creates a mist screen that reduces visibility to zero, meaning I can't see them and they can't see me and to track me they must use sound via the silent killing technique, throughout the battle I kept Kuri by my side the entire time, her paws matching my foot falls. Using the mist as cover I remained stationary as Kuri transformed into a copy of me and lead them away waiting for the moment to strike. I then received the signal of Kuri's chakra dispelling the jutsu to escape certain death and used the confusion to attack, using my poisoned senbon. I kept Kuri mainly out of the fight deliberately so that they would forget about her, she's a forgettable little rat so it didn't take too long. MWAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE GREAT JUNKETSU! BOW BEFORE MY GREATNESS! I think my ego is going to blow from all the self stroking… that just sounded so wrong… NOT TIME CREEPY BRAIN OF PERVERSE TANGENTS! NO SELF-STROKING, NO SELF-STROKING! ARGH! I CAN'T GET IT OUTTA MY HEAD!
Draggin my brain out of the gutter I look at the to Jonin before me, the signs of the poison at work helplessly displayed and I can't stop the throb of pride that runs through me.
"Taxus Baccata has red seeds which are highly toxic. In humans it causes those affected to have difficulty breathing, muscle tremors and convulsions until they collapse, eventually leading to cardiac arrest if left untreated" I purr, watching as they desperately try to breathe normally and fail miserably and how their limbs quiver in the effort of standing. "I have a question and you will answer, in return I'll give you the antidote" I smile sweetly at them, it's not like they have a choice if they value their lives. I can see the beginnings of convulsions in Zabuza as his chest spasms with every ragged breathe, his eyes set in a death glare that if looks could kill, I'd be torn limb from limb. Kisame on the other hand is faring better and is actually smirking at the situation, looking thoroughly amused by the notion that a genin is holding his life ransom and is in the position to do so. I would be too in his position, it's not every day you get out smarted by a 7 year old.
"So what is it you want kid?" Kisame asks, breathing laboured and muscles shuddering helplessly against the toxins flowing in his veins, I can almost hear the blood trying to fight off the toxins but to no avail. I smile "I want to know where I can find the forbidden objects so I can pass this exam" I state and 2 pairs of eyes lock on me in confusion "that's all you want, you've got 2 of the most dangerous shinobi in the hidden mist at your mercy and you want directions to pass the exam?" Zabuza asks, staring at me like I've grown a second head. I turn my eyes to him "As much as I'd love to use this situation to my advantage, this exam is my mission and the mission comes before my own desires, no matter how much I hate it… though it doesn't stop me having braggin rights that I won a fight against 2 of the seven swordsmen at 7 years old, that's got to be kind of embarrassin for the demon of the hidden mist who murdered a graduation class of academy students before he was even enrolled, to be beaten by an over achievin brat, I almost have sympathy for your bruised ego… almost" I think I have a death wish, WHY CAN'T I SHUT MY COCKY MOUTH BEFORE IT GETS ME IN TROUBLE! Noooo, I just have to mouth off to a man who looks like he now wants to rip my head off and shit down my neck. Stupid faulty brain mouth filter is on the blink again!
I hear a muffed chuckle which soon turns into a full on fit of laughing madness from Kisame who looks tickled pink by my Zabuza bashing "you're a sharp tongued kid aren't you, weren't lying about suicidal tendencies since if Zabuza has his way you're dead" he chuckles, sharp teeth glinting, the mist fading rapidly around us. "You want to know where the 'forbidden object' is? Fine, information for antidote." He smiles dangerously. "Your map shows a sharp-waved marking which I'm assuming you've worked out as where you should head, it's about 4 miles away in the direction of you team, you'll know it when you see it" His pulse is slow, either he's a really good liar or he's telling the truth.
I find myself believing him, if it was Zabuza I wouldn't believe a word but Kisame is a different creature entirely, he may not tell the complete truth but there is always some truth to his words. I also trust the dirty look Zabuza is shooting my favourite blue shark-man which practically screams 'you told him the truth?!'. I run my fingers up my shorts leg, pulling out 2 small vials of antidote in easy use Hypodermic syringes from the bandage around my thigh that holds them in place out of sight. "Thank you for your cooperation Hoshigaki-san, I hope we can speak again without a cranky demon glaring holes into my skull" I chirp happily, tossing them both at the blue mist ninja who shakily catches them. The antidotes will take a few minutes to kick in so at least I'll have time to get a head start if Zabuza decides to come after me in revenge.
Without hesitation I head off in the direction of my team with Kuri trailing behind, hoping to find them before anyone else does, I really can't be bothered with another fight right now and knowing my bad luck they're stiring up an ass load of troublesome shit I'm going to have to sort. Jashin, do me a solid and go on a long holiday for the rest of these exams, pretty please?
AN:/:
New Chapter AHOY!
It's late, I know, but do you have any idea how hard it is to fend off old people at my library? No? IT'S FUCKIN HARD MAN!
anyways, hope you like the update!