"James, for Christ's sake! Stop aiming at my head! This is going to go exactly as terribly as I predicted!"

James does not heed my warning and continues to lob the Quaffle at my poor, defenceless noggin. And my ever caring boyfriend just laughs, of course, catching the ball as it mercifully flies past my head. I don't know why I agreed to this obviously life-threatening plan. I can only just stay upright on a broom, let alone catch or throw anything from this airborne position. James and Sirius may be able to chat casually as they zoom around the pitch, lobbing Quaffles between them. But I am handling the whole multi-tasking thing far less well.

"Very offended by the lack of sympathy here, Sirius!" Unfortunately for me, the fool just shrugs and grins smugly at me before chucking the Quaffle towards me. Thankfully for the sake of our relationship, he is gentler than James and I actually manage to catch it. And now, the ball is in my court! (Bada-boom!) Watch out, Potter, a healthy dose of karma is heading your way…

"Stefanie!" James glares at me, rubbing the back of his head ruefully. Sirius laughs loudly and swoops down to grab the ball from the ground. Cue my dance of triumph! "Fine! I'll play nice from now on, Harts."

Brute force is the only thing these fools respond to. Gotta be cruel to be kind(/to get what you want). As our mindless throw-and-catch is resumed at a much gentler pace, conversation turns to the New and Improved James and Sirius. Although they are both prepared to put in the work to become Aurors, it seems neither is exactly relishing the prospect.

"It's alright for you, Prongs," Sirius moans. "You've been a little Goody Two Shoes all year, Mr Head Boy. Whereas I've been on top Marauding form. I don't know how I am going to reform myself so quickly."

Both James and I snort at this melodrama. James curves the Quaffle back to Sirius and responds, "Hardly top Marauding form, pal. You spent most of the year pining after Hartmann!"

Cue more triumphant dancing. Sirius shakes his head and goes to refute James but to no avail. "Now, now, Sirius! There's no shame in it. Who wouldn't be pining after this?"

I attempt to toss my hair over my shoulder in an alluring manner, which naturally results in me almost falling to my death. To Sirius' credit, he doesn't laugh too much and does also fly quickly to my side to prevent any death-falling. What a keeper (pardon the pun).

Despite the comic relief of my near death experience, both the boys are however still very pouty about the prospect of a prank-free year. Or rather, the work that they will be doing in lieu of plotting and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Up until now, they really have been the bare-minimum sorts. A few notes in class, reading through the textbook before an exam. But now they know they are really going to have to get the highest marks possible if they want to make it on to the Auror programme. I'm not worried for them. After all, they have been coasting so far and still managed to get Os. Put a little effort in, and they probably won't even drop a single mark.

"It's 'cause we're up against nerds - like Steffi's friends!"

"Excuse me, James! What do you mean by that!"

"You know, Marley, Doc… Gideon…." Now it's James' turn for a near death experience. Wisely, once he has regained his balance and thrown a few death glares our way, James decides to fly over to the stands and take a seat. We follow suit.

"Anyway, it's only right that you should work hard for this. I don't want lazy, half-arsed idiots being the only thing standing between me and Voldemort."

"Yeah?" Sirius grins at me, a now familiar hand at the small of my back. "Well, think how feel knowing that, should we get injured in the field, the only thing between us and death is a potion brewed by a DZ."

HA. Funny…. I poke him viciously in the thigh. Being my boyfriend does not exclude you from my fondness for physical violence. No, sir! And I see you, Potter, snickering away. A cuff round the head for you too.

Secretly, I am pretty pleased about this new, unwanted work ethic. If the boys are spending a lot of time revising, then I won't be distracted by their pranks. And hopefully I can get in on their study sessions and attempt to absorb some of their crazy knowledge. Without, of course, giving them any hint that I admire their crazy knowledge. I maybe a DZ, but even I know not to inflate these egos any further….

Dear Jane Fenwick,

I don't know whether to feel saddened or gladdened by your decision to duck into toilets or doorways or wheel around in the middle of the corridor and march in the other direction every time you see me. You see, my life is a lot more enjoyable without you in it. As previously realised, when you compare our situations, mine comes out on top by a long way. You know, not to rub it in or anything, but with the great friends, the cushy job lined up, the amazing family and, oh yeah, my boyfriend Sirius Black.

However, that stupid part of me that cannot let things go and cannot stop caring, feels that maybe I should apologise to you for almost breaking every bone in your body with my murder plant. You don't deserve it. But I like to feel good about myself. And I like to take the moral high ground. Great views from up there.

The fact of it is, you might not be actively spreading shit about me but every time you sprint away from me so bloody obviously, it causes a wave of whispers. Your OTT reaction makes people think I am perpetually victimising you. WHICH SUCKS.

Grow a pair already, Jane, my old chum, my sparring partner. Talk to me. I can recommend you an Occlumency teacher if you really need. Help you sort out that obviously deranged brain of yours.

Yours sincerely,

Steffi Hartmann, Bitch Slayer & Murder Plant Owner

"Entering a new environment can be very scary. Don't feel embarrassed if you find yourself feeling wary and unsure in this unfamiliar territory."

"I think I ventured to this dark place once, long ago…" Sirius puts on a haunted, old voice as we enter the Library. I don't want to over exaggerate but, from the look on her face, I think Pince just had a minor cardiac arrest. She's not to be blamed though, the sight of Sirius in the Library weighed down with textbooks, parchment and, gasp! Quills! would give anyone a fright.

Although Sirius has been in the Library before, I'm not sure he has ever stayed here for more than half an hour. But today is a Saturday! So he has three free hours until Quidditch practice and what better way to spend that time than on Transfiguration theory!

Credit where it is due, thus far there has been minimal pouting (credit where it is also due, that was largely by me waking him up with bacon sandwiches from the Great Hall and kisses). I refuse to keep motivating him with physical affection and/or food though - it is vitally important that one learns how to concentrate on the task at hand for extended periods of time!

Man, who was I kidding?

Me? Concentrate for long periods of time? Psh! This is the girl that took five years to read The Hobbit. My mum wisely suggested that perhaps I shouldn't bother with the other Tolkien books. Joke's on her though, because I just finished the third chapter of the Fellowship of the Ring - in just eighteen months!

Anyway, we've been here an hour and already I am looking for anything to take my mind off of this godawful Transfig. The only problem is, I am having to use all of my carefully, Detective-honed skills of subtlety to do this. Because if Sirius cottons on that I am bored, it is game over and I will swiftly be convinced to abandon my textbooks in favour of either food or a make-out sesh. Or both. Oooooh.

NO! STEFFI. You need these grades to get that job, now head down and focus.

"Hi, Steffi, do you have a moment to-"

"EMILY! Hi! How are you? Sit down, let's chat!"

My insane enthusiasm to see Emily Greengrass may have slightly revealed my boredom. Might have to hone those subtlety skills a little more… Nevertheless, she seems thrilled by my greeting and takes a seat, eyeing Sirius a little warily though, it must be said.

"What's up, Em?" She hasn't got her usual panicked expression on, so I presume this is more of a chinwag session than a crisis alert. I notice Sirius try to smile in a friendly manner at my young pal but this just seems to cause her eyes to narrow even further. "It's OK, he won't bite, I promise!"

Emily looks back to me, "Oh, right. Yeah, I just wanted to ask if you were coming to Slug Club on Wednesday? You've missed the last few and I…"

"Oh yeah, I'll be there! Don't you worry. I just had rounds the last few times. How's it been? For the love of God, don't tell me I've missed any good canapes…"

"Actually…" Emily laughs. "Last week it was all desserts!"

I truly appreciate the awe in her voice as she said this. She truly is a girl after my own heart. "Oh, Em! Ya killin' me!"

Sirius makes sort 'psh' noise under his breath, so I wheel around to glare accusingly at him. "Don't deny you would kill for a spread of mini pastries!"

He just rolls his eyes at this and shrugs. "Not if it meant having to endure an evening with bloody Slughorn."

"Oh my God, Sirius. Are you upset that you aren't invited to these things?" Oh, this is too good! Even Sirius-struck Emily can't help but snicker at his put-out expression.

"No! I just mean, come on! It's just a networking, arse-licking… Whatever!"

Fantastic, this really is brilliant. "Aww, diddums! I could ask Sluggers to invite you next time, he would do anything for me!"

Sirius simply responds by flicking his wand and sending my quill flying just out of my reach.

"Accio quill. Very immature, Sirius. Honestly, it's no problem for me to just ask!"

Death glare from Sirius, giggles from Emily. Evidently deciding he can no longer put up with my antics, Sirius turns to my little protégé instead. "So, last I heard you were struggling with Charms. How's it going?"

Emily looks horrified to be directly addressed by Sirius. I nudge her ankle under the table with my foot, prompting her. "Um, OK."

"Isn't Ty helping you out a bit?"

Moment of incomprehension. "Oh yeah, Ty. I keep forgetting about your nickname for him, Stef. I couldn't for the life of me think who you meant then. Yes, he's been a great help. I haven't really been to Dora."

"No? Well, she's going to be far too busy teaching me Occlumency anyway!"

"Yes, it just didn't really work out."

Sirius smiles (I sense some determination to make Emily realise he is trying to be friendly, which sort of has the opposite effect of making him seem even more menacing). "Well, it's probably better getting taught by someone in your own year anyway. More useful."

I smirk, "Yeah, like me teaching Sirius about Potions. To help him achieve his dream of one day being invited to Slug Club!"

Emily laughs again and, with something akin to resignation, Sirius just sighs. I think he is taking Em's laughter as a victory. Which it seems it is - she stays and studies at our table awhile before heading off to class.

As she leaves I turn to Sirius, "Cute."

"Huh?"

"That you wanted her to like you."

"Shut up," he swats at me softly, stroking my hair more than batting me away. "More like cute that all these little ones look up to you so much."

"Yeah, I guess it is."

Disaster Count:... 0?

See, I always forget I'm a witch. I forget I can do heating charms, and get something from the other side of the room without leaving my bed. I forget that I can hex someone, instead of falling back on my old friend, physical violence.

But this time I am considering my witchcraft as a possibility. How else, after all, do you explain my dumb letter to Fenwick coming true? It was only a joke! Why, oh why, have you bestowed this upon me, mysterious-magical-other-worldly forces? Probably to show me the meaning of being careful what we wish for. Or some other bullshit.

Or this is divine retribution for me daring to have scrawled Disaster Count: 0 in my book earlier. Either way, whoever is up there - screw you!

"Hi, Fenwick." Look, she is waiting outside Transfig and, in a weird twist of events, I too am early for class. We're the only people in the hallway, I really can't just ignore her. Despite what I wrote my own letter, I'm not really sure I want to talk. I suppose there is just always going to be this stupid part of me that can't let go, who wants to smooth things over. Even though mine and Fenwick's relationship being about as smooth as anaglypta wallpaper. Obviously I don't want us to be friends, but I want us to be able to walk past each other with the same frosty air as before. You know, back in the good old days. I'm sick of her scurrying away from me like some poor, mousy victim.

"Look, quit it with the 'poor little me' act, OK? I'm sorry you got hurt, obviously I didn't plan that to happen. But I guess it stopped you messing with me so, you know, I'll take that as a silver lining. I like this whole you-pretending-I-don't-exist thing, but let's have a little less of the wounded looks and playing the victim. I've done nothing to deserve it."

Wow. Go gurl. (Yes, you are allowed to 'go gurl' yourself). It is probably a little worrying how much confidence I have gained from nearly killing a fellow pupil but I needed a little boost when it came to dealing with Fenwick, so I'll take whatever help I can get.

Fenwick also looks surprised by my stern words but instead of responding with some of her own, as per usual, she just shrugs. "Fine by me."

"Oh, great. Thanks." I hadn't been expecting that, to be honest. I was more expecting things to go the route that ends with me unconscious in the corridor. Well. This is definitely preferable. But… a little awkward. I hope someone else turns up to class too…. Me, Fenwick and Minnie doesn't sound like an ideal combination, by any standards.

Disaster Count: Like, a half Disaster? I don't know. This one is really a first.

So in this crazy world which we now apparently inhabit, Fenwick and I can have a rational, albeit brief, conversation and sort out our issues. Lana and Marley, on the other hand, are having slanging matches outside Charms classrooms. Huh.

And it is this latter occurrence which has prompted the return of HuffleStef. Yes, instead of spending time with either of my currently-not-speaking best friends, I am instead cowering in the Great Hall with Lily and Em. They are kindly not mentioning my current cowering/cowardice and are pretending I just have a sudden urge to be a conscientious Astronomy student (a barefaced lie, as Lily well knows). I saw Marley hanging around after she had finished eating, to see if I would walk with her back to Gryf for a bitch sesh. Of course, Lans was sat at the Slytherin table. But I let Marls go on without me, pretending to be involved in Emmeline and Lily's studying. I'm totally with Marley on this Rabastan issue, but I still feel uncomfortable with visibly taking sides. Bitching about Lana, furthering the rift… just seems wrong.

To be fair, judging from the notes Lily has handed me to revise from, I probably should consider becoming a dedicated Astronomy student. How have I managed to miss so much? I really do object to these late nights lessons. I mean, sure that's the only time we can actually observe the skies. But also, how can I be expected to pay any attention at that ungodly hour? Even Sinistra can't stay awake.

Luckily for me, the radiant Lily Evans defies even fatigue to take meticulous notes and generously share them with her less alert friends.

Surprisingly, Lily and Emmeline's revision sessions aren't as intense and scary as I had anticipated. Well, for starters and best of all, there are the leftovers from dinner to tide me over. And, whilst conveniently avoiding any topics pertaining to my less-than-perfect friendships, Lils and Emmeline are still up for a bit of gossip.

"It was atrocious – honestly, if I had a spot like that, I would stay in the dorm all day."

"Oh, as if, Lily! You would never dare miss lessons, not even with a pimple the size of Mount Vesuvius."

Lily shrugs, picking at a slice of Bakewell. "I would seriously consider it."

Emmeline just laughs and shakes her head. I quiz her gently about Fabian. It seems they've been on a few dates but aren't really rushing into things. What with exams and end of school, it just doesn't seem like the right time to be fussing about starting a relationship, says Em. I admire her rationality and level-headedness. Although, when I say this she laughs and points out the time she totally flipped out at me about my alleged Marauders slaggery. "Basically the least level-headed thing ever!"

I laugh with her, but still, I wish I had her clarity. If Dora asks me to make an inspiration board for Occlumency, I will put Emmeline square in the centre. I mean, I doubt Occlumency lessons are going to include that many inspiration boards, but it is good to be ahead of the game.

"Hey, how are things with you and Narcissa?" Lily enquires. It is a good question. I have sort of been avoiding my Slytherin pal since Sirius and I became a proper thing. I think it must weird her out a little. The fact that she has sort of avoided me too confirms this. I explain this to the girls, who nod understandingly.

"But I feel what with it being our last term here, and out last chance to be friends, I should probably catch up with her, you know?"

Emmeline continues to nod, but Lily looks a little warier. "I suppose…"

"What, Lily? Do you think that's a bad idea?"

She shrugs, "I think sometimes it can be damaging to hold on to these sorts of friendships. If you know everything will be over in a few months' time, that you'll be irreparably separated by, well, your different life choices, isn't it better to just let things fade like they have?"

Again, that note of personal experience in her voice. I feel like we are close enough for me to ask about it now, so I go for it. And the whole Snape mystery gets a little clearer.

He and Lily had known each other before Hogwarts; he had been a comfort to her, when her magic had inexplicably begun to manifest. But over time here at school, he had obviously begun to follow a different path. And Lily couldn't tolerate that.

"I let our friendship go too far. I only really let go after he called me a Mudblood, when he humiliated me after I stood up for him. I let it get to the point where he was really able to hurt me. And I wish I hadn't, Stef, I wish I hadn't allowed him to have that power over me."

Lily seems above it all now, talking about him with a mixture of contempt and pity. But it does make me sad. And the way Em is looking at her friend makes me think there were some hard times because of Snape. Yet I don't really feel their situation relates to mine and Cissy's, although I don't mention that to Lily.

"The worst thing was, was how he tried to explain away everything by saying he liked you. As if that excused his behaviour. If anything, it makes the whole thing worse!" Emmeline shakes her head, irritated even by the memory of the bloke. He did always seem a little creepy to me – I imagine it mustn't be terribly fun being the object of his affections.

Lily just sighs and carries on with her note-taking, "Oh well, at least it's all water under the bridge now."

Well, I was right. Occlumency doesn't involve much inspiration board crafting….

It's more like having your brain repeatedly punched, leaving you with the dullest and most annoying headache you could ever imagine. I thought this shit was all about keeping calm and finding peace of mine but, Godric, I feel more agitated than ever. (OK, maybe not quite as bad as the time I accidentally asked Gideon out. Or the time I fell through the stairs and landed on Davey Gudgeon. Or… Well, you get the idea!)

"Sorry about all that, Steffi. But my Legilimens attacks are supposed to represent your own unwanted thoughts and anxieties. If you can fight off my attacks, then you will have no problem controlling your own thoughts. Then you'll be able to be calmer, and think things through a little easier."

Yeah, yeah, Dora. That does make sense but still. I've taken some of Lana's anti-hangover Potion because my head is thumping right now. I won't be able to sleep unless this eases off.

Thank the heavens Dora is just going through basics with me – I can't even fathom what you would have to go through to be a proper Occlumens. She explained to me what the skill is really about, which is keeping other people's magic out of your head and not letting them control or influence your thoughts. I guess it would be a good skill for people like Sirius, who as Aurors and the such like will probably come into more hostile contact with the Dark Arts. Perhaps they'll learn it too. But for me, that's not so vital. Dora just thinks I should practice a little, because the basic premise of the whole thing is keeping emotions in check and making your mind blank and still.

Seems a little counter-productive so far. But in Dora I trust. And, the biggest plus? Late night sessions let me avoid a certain, tension-filled dorm room. I couldn't help but notice as I took the Potion from Lans' bedside table that all her photos with Marley are gone. God, I hope they work things out soon….

A/N: Woah, sorry for the lack of updates! I've moved flat, so life's been a little hectic! But, I think my schedule is looking a little clearer now so finger's crossed for more writing time!

Reviews loved and appreciated as ever! xoxox