I'll let this chapter speak for itself.
I just hope it doesn't give anyone nightmares...
DISCLAIMER: You really wouldn't like it if I owned Death Note…
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Chapter Thirty: Doomsday
No time at all.
The week had flown by.
Light Yagami smiled to himself as he readjusted his tie in the mirror. Beside him, Misa liberally applied the last of her lipstick.
Today was the big day. The day where L's fate would be decided, justice would be dealt, and the world would begin to turn in Light's favour: today was the end of the love test.
The winner had been decided, and the two stupid competitors were going to meet 'Takeshi' for the first time. Light had arranged for all five of them: himself, Misa, L, Ame and Delilah; to assemble at the café so he could make the announcement – bizarrely, L had been extremely compliant with his wishes…
He casually extended his hand. Instinctively, Misa passed him a comb.
"There you go, Light!!" she said, beaming.
"Oh, thank you, Misa," he oozed, and began to neaten his already extremely presentable hair. "… Are you nearly ready to leave?"
"Misa will be ready in a just a m-i-n-u-t-e… Misa wants to look really pretty for Light. I mean, we're going to be in a room with two other girls… I don't want Ame or Delilah to steal you away from me!"
"There's no chance of that happening," Light smirked. "I'll be thinking of only one person in that room – don't you worry."
"Ohhh Light! That is so CUTE!!" Misa squealed, and wrapped her arms around his waist.
He allowed her a few moments of bliss, then shrugged her off. "Now, Misa. We really should be getting prepared. Today is rather important, and not just because we will have helped to get L a girlfriend… You do remember what I said we could do afterwards, right?"
Misa looked confused.
Light sighed. "Do you remember that I said you helping me get him a girlfriend would help build my confidence?"
With a slightly worried expression, she shook her head. "Um… Not really…"
He frowned a little. For someone so obsessed with getting him into bed, she was terribly inobservant. "… So you don't remember me telling you that I'd be willing to have sex with you, then."
Misa exploded. "AAAAAH!! REALLY?! OHMIGOD! You really, really, really mean that?!?"
Light nodded.
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!! So, so… So after we sort out L and his girlfriend, then… then we'll just come straight back here, and then we'll go to bed, and, and… and then, we'll…" she squeaked. "… Oh, or maybe we shouldn't wait AT ALL! Maybe we could… erm… Light, does the café we're going to have any bathrooms?"
"… Misa. I know you're excited, but I'm not about to lose my virginity in a public toilet for anyone."
She would have replied verbally, were it not for the fact that she was now hyperventilating. Instead, she nodded weakly between high-pitched gasps.
"Now," he sneered, "you be good and get ready. The quicker we get this over with, the quicker we'll be able to do something enjoyable."
Squeaking once again, she hastily finished preparing herself.
They were finally ready to go.
They got into Soichiro's car, and set off.
--
L waited, alone.
Another sugar cube sank into his black coffee, finally bringing it to a suitably syrupy consistency.
He 'drank' a mouthful of the stuff.
Two days earlier, he had received a phone call from Light, asking to meet him. He hadn't specified why he wanted to meet up, though he had mentioned that there would be… 'guests'.
Of course, L knew exactly what was going on. The love test was over, and Light-kun was showing off (as per usual) by making it such a public finale. Light's plan was going to be to introduce Ame and Delilah to him, vaguely explain the situation and – at the end – reveal that one of the ladies had been chosen to be his girlfriend.
How childish.
And presumptuous, too. The love test had been far too easy to exploit: place a decoy here, arrest a manager there… He had really expected better.
Evidently Misa-san wasn't a good influence on the boy.
He lifted his cup to his lips once again, and lapped up the contents like a dog, which warranted a few strange looks from the other customers.
… He didn't enjoy waiting. At least, he didn't enjoy waiting for things like this. Holding a stakeout was one thing – being kept on tenterhooks before he had the chance to publicly humiliate Light again was another thing entirely. He impatiently ordered his third beverage of the morning – this time, tea – and a plate of cookies.
By the time Light and Misa arrived, he had already devoured half of the plate's contents, and was in the middle of dunking a particularly sturdy cookie in his tea (at the correct forty-five degree angle, of course).
They stood in the doorway for a while, talking to someone outside – from the sounds of it, Yagami-san had given them a lift, and they were asking him to wait outside for them. Then, when they had finished, they casually walked up to L's table and sat down.
"Hello, Takeshi," said Light, smiling.
"Yagami-kun," he nodded.
"We're going to make love after this!" Misa trilled to no one in particular.
"Hello to you too, Misa-san," said L.
"I trust the other guests haven't arrived yet," said Light. "Or at least I hope they haven't, because I asked them to arrive a little later anyway – it would make things a little difficult if they were already here."
"No one else has arrived, Yagami-kun. I've been sitting here perfectly alone."
"Oh," Light smiled. "That's good to hear."
"Yes," L frowned.
"It's just… I need to explain something to you before the girls arrive."
"Girls? What, are you getting bored of Misa-san now, Light-kun?"
Two sour faces stared harshly at him.
"No – in fact, it's the opposite, which is exactly why…" Light bit his lip, "I imagine you're going to be less than pleased when I tell you this, Takeshi, but I've invited you here for a specific reason. Misa and I… have been looking for a suitable partner for you."
Even if he had any eyebrows, L wouldn't have raised them. "I… see. So you've invited me here to meet this person, correct?"
Light nodded across the table.
"But you mentioned that you were expecting 'girls' to arrive, not just one 'girl'."
"… Ah. Well… you see, we needed to be able to decide between two of your prospective love interests, and… we…" Light's voice faded to a mumble, "… we… held a love test, to be able to determine which of the girls really deserved to be with you."
"… So… You invited me here to make the final decision."
"Not… exactly."
"You've already decided for me, Light-kun? That's a little unfair of you."
There were a few moments of silence.
"… Again," said Light, "that's not exactly what I meant either."
This time, L didn't have to pretend to sound confused. "So what is happening? Why did you invite me here, Yagami-kun."
Silence stretched on for a few minutes.
… Then, outside, they heard a woman scream.
Light's blank expression faded, and an evil grin spread across his face.
"Very clever of you to try and deceive me, Takeshi," he said, his voice dripping with malice. "Delilah Steen… very clever. In fact, I almost overlooked it. And then… I phoned you, asking you to meet me... and, strangely, you were willing to go along with it. Add to that the fact that Ame's manager had been arrested only recently… It started to seem a little suspicious.
"So I looked up Delilah Steen. You'd obviously really thought this one through, because when I did, I found nothing immediately unusual – there were records of her birth, she had a place on the electoral roll… I could even find evidence of her getting her driver's license. But… I knew that if you were involved, so I hadn't expected on finding any rough edges there…
"Ridiculously," he smirked, "I found something suspicious… in the messages she had sent through the dating site we found her on. You see, I have to admit that I'm quite good with computers, and so it really wasn't much of a problem for me to track her through her IP address… and do you know what I found out?" Not giving L a chance to reply, he ploughed on, "Well, you really can find out anything on the internet these days… I found out who had purchased the PDA that Delilah was using. It was a woman called Erin Weatherby.
"I looked up Erin Weatherby. And she didn't exist. However, there was someone who had gone under the alias of Erin Weatherby, along with many other names… a lady who I found after a bit of searching, called Mary Kenwood – a thief so infamous that, at some point in her past, she had been hunted by police across the globe… and, indeed, she still is a wanted woman. The same Mary Kenwood that you employed as a spy to spoil my plans, and – I would hazard – the same Mary Kenwood that my father has just arrested…"
L stared in disbelief.
"Would you like to see her before she gets sent to court?" said Light, standing up.
The three of them arrived at the door just in time to see Soichiro's car driving off into the distance, with Wedy sitting in the back seat. For what may have been the first time in his life, L's jaw dropped.
"… But…"
"She was a criminal, Takeshi. She was a 'bad' person. And being the son of a police chief and a good friend of a detective, I thought it was my duty to get her caught. And… speaking of capture…"
At that moment, Ame came sprinting down the street. "I'm heeeeeeere, Liiiiiiiiiight-chaaaaaaaaaaaaan!! Just like you aaaaaaaasked!!"
Exactly as planned.
Light pulled a second set of handcuffs from his pocket.
As the putrid Ame came into reaching distance, the cold metal chain swooped through the air.
*click*
… And, before L had fully recovered from the shock of seeing his cohort being arrested…
*click*
Poetic justice.
Phase one of Light's plan was complete.
"Have a happy time with Ame, Takeshi-chaaaaan," he said, smirking.
He took Misa's hand, and walked away.
Nobody messed with Light Yagami and got away with it.
Nobody.
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Author's Note: Sorry, L fans... but I couldn't let things roll so easily for him.
... At any rate - this is a fic about Light and Misa. What were you expecting?
Thank you to everyone reading this - unfortunately, you might still have a little more to read (XD)... because now, Light has to get rid of Misa...
Reviews, as per usual, are welcomed - but I'm not going to force people into it, obviously - even though I AM really proud of this chapter.
Stay tuned!