-35-
Dead Rising, Soul Mating, and all the Recipes for Disaster
It was a rainy day in Avalon. Rain fell in a chaotic pattern, drawing spheres on the muddy ground. The mist wrapped the jewel island like a cloak, hiding it from the world on this unusual day. It was as though the sun had providentially decided to not show its face. Arthur finished his morning prayer and picked up his clothes on a chair.
It worked.
Lancelot was alive. You could say his prayers had been answered somehow.
Staring at the timid lights reaching his window, Arthur took a deep breath. The fortress was already busy with life, and he was the first surprised how well he could adapt to its rhythm. Four days had passed since the night they found Lancelot in Morgan's room. If two more days were necessary for Morgan to wake up from an almost comatose slumber, Lancelot, on the other hand, was getting better, day after day. The wound on his stomach was sealed, no longer a poisonous purple-green, filled with pus. It was now a fresh scar.
Arthur splashed his face with fresh water. It was a miracle. Lancelot coming back to life was some kind of miracle. Yet he did not know how to feel about it, divided between this immense joy and relief, and this intense sense of guilt. He was aware his vulnerabilities were spread out there for the world to see. Arthur had no idea what to do about that.
Lancelot was back. Morgan did honor the end of her bargain. He didn't question the means she used ... and how apparently, it put her at odds with her own people. All he understood was that she broke a rule to bring Lancelot back. In the end, she was not at fault. The fault laid entirely with him. It was all because he asked her. He defied his God for Lancelot. He trampled his faith for Lancelot. He put all of them in danger because of Lancelot. He was the one who still did not care if a witch made a deal with the Devil himself in order to revive his best friend. That alone should speak volumes on his character. Anything was better than the loneliness he felt at that time.
Arthur stared at his troubled reflection in the water one more time before he stepped out of the room.
He was making his way in the hallways when he met with Lancelot and Blaez taking the stairs to the common rooms.
"Heard about your girl?"Blaez said with a smirk.
Arthur shrugged absentmindedly. He had not been prepared to see his friend walking around as if nothing had happened. So he almost did not hear Blaez as he went on.
"Your future wife was supposed to appear in front of the elders last night, in a recreation of their version of a Roman mock trial. They probably decided her fate and ours at the time we're speaking. I was telling Lance. I hope to catch that frigid bitch before our meal to know more about it. But I found this one ready to get down."
Blaez gave Lancelot a pat to complete his explanation. Lancelot was staring at the ground hauntingly.
"I see. You seem rested Lancelot. I was on the way to your room," The roman replied with hesitation.
Lancelot continued on his way as if Arthur never interrupted. Even if he was not expecting an answer, being ignored by the brunet cut deeply into Arthur's pride. Blaez went back and forth from Arthur to Lancelot quizzically before resuming his walk.
The Roman commander followed them begrudgingly but was annoyed by the apparent dismissal of him.
Lancelot was up and moving about. He was grateful. His face was no longer the color of bedsheets. His curly hair was longer, but he was clearly missing a sizable patch of it on the left side where Morgan shaved him. It was not too ugly if you asked him about it. Well, it was quite a sight. He looked strangely foreign like this. But this didn't bother Arthur as much as the hard setting of his jaw and the somber expression on his face. The man walking side by side with Blaez looked nothing like the man he knew.
"I also told Lancelot about your impending wedding," Blaez said again as they reach the common rooms.
"It was the only way to save his life," Arthur said again, looking intently at Lancelot. His friend said nothing. Arthur felt uneasy about the whole situation. He was sensing an argument... almost hoping for it. Anything would be better than this silence. He did not regret his decision for a minute. But the young commander of the samartian knights could not help asking himself if he ought not to, or if that made him a bad person. He knew that made him selfish for sure. He just didn't know how bad it was.
Blaez stopped. Tension bristled in the air. Lancelot remained quiet, his face unchanged. The room fell into silence as all the knights gathered, rose from their benches at their arrival. There was an awkward silence before they realize it was Lancelot who stood next to Blaez.
"Lancelot, you're up? It's fantastic!" Callan jumped in first.
"Do you feel better?" Andreas offered.
"I am sorry for the loss of your mare. It was a beautiful beast." Braden said. "I am sure we will find you another one." Aloysius didn't quite know what to say. What to say to the man he owed his life when it was apparent it had taken a heavy toll on the latter.
"You look good... I guess." He said.
" Glad you're in one piece, lucky bastard," Bors muttered.
"How does being magically revived feel? How was Hell? Do you think she can do something for Melan or Danis ?" Was Percival's next slurred questions.
But with a sharp whistle, Blaez silenced them all.
"Quiet you all! I have something important to say. First let me say, I am not a believer in pagan faith. I believe in nothing. I believe in everything. I am samartian. I believe in riding until there is no grass left. I believe in Rus…. I believe in you, my brothers."
There were a few shouts among the group at that.
"That woman, as deadly pretty as she is, is by far the scariest wench I've ever seen and I still remembered that not too long ago we had the daughter of Attila in our ranks, drinking our ale, lying to our faces, stealing our women, taking advantage of our young men. So we know scary, gentlemen! "
They all laughed.
"I mean Tanjin got us used to a lot of weird and odd things happening. Who honestly thought someone could ever surpass his/her savagery? I mean that girl…. Arthur's girl… Our commander's beloved killed Lancelot's horse just because she could! We are lucky Duncan is not here. We would have to bury him with the horse."
They were a few amused nods.
"But let's all be honest, most of us didn't like the beast much, to begin with. It was mulishly stubborn just like you, bastard! Good Riddance! May it rest in peace!"
"Rest in peace, Sashasativa." They all whispered back.
"Right, we try convincing your horse to climb on a barge while you were sick. It bit us twice." Callan grumbled.
"That was Sashasativa...for you."
"Five times. If you count her trying to swim away from the barge and poor me trying to stop her. I almost drowned." Andreas said.
"We almost drowned." Aloysius intervened." I fear that was a team effort."
The roman grinned, Andreas laughed, and Bors ruffled both their hair with a snark.
"Made us miss Scourge," Dagonet confirmed.
"To Scourge !"
Hilarity ensued. Blaez nodded and continued with the same solemn tone.
"But my dear brothers in arms, I am here to tell you that even an idiot like me gets to change opinions. I am finally ready to admit I am glad Arthur entered that deal with that devil of a woman. He is not that bright our fearless leader… No, he is not! His God knows he is not! Not without you… you fucking bastard… anyway… But at least, he is prompt to listen to his groin more than to his head when you're not there, and that surprisingly makes for a wonderful combination! Cheers to that my boys! Wasn't that something we all wanted for him?"
Arthur smiled and frowned in confusion at the same time. That was one hell of a speech! There was another wave of hilarity while Lancelot remained awkwardly serious. He kept staring at the empty throne behind Blaez as if lost in his thoughts.
" No, for once, he did the right thing and trusted the right vixen all to our satisfaction. If it means you, conniving bastard, you quitter, you deserter, gets to keep roasting your ass with us in this hell! My brothers, who care for Heaven? When you got Bors's unique set of balls, Braden's stinking beard, Aggravain's one-eyed ugly mug, Percival's luck with twins, or my handsome face to look at? Let me ask you, Lance. Who even care for Heaven? Heaven is for Pussies! I dare you bastard to never speak of it again! We got Woads to kill! Our Hun bitch and Brat to find! Aud Askin to crush! Oh, and Arthur will need guidance on his wedding night! That is only fair to me that we don't get to be alone in this glorious mess and you get a share of our troubles, you lazy motherfucker!"
"Fair to you, huh?" Lancelot snapped back, with a definite edge in his voice. It was like some kind of light had just sparked his eyes on fire. He scanned his surroundings methodically.
"Fair to me, yes! Got a problem with that?"Blaez retorted dryly.
Lancelot glared at Blaez. The situation seemed tense for an instant. Then it was all over. It was in the way his face softened, the way he shook his head as if to clear his mind. His laugh came bursting from within, timidly at first, stopping and starting. His lips broke into his trademark grin. The rumble continued from deep within his chest. His jaw was tight. Arthur opened his mouth in awe. It was like he was seeing Lancelot for the first time after years of absence. It felt like that. His eyebrows arched, he waited. In moments, his laugh was a mere debilitating echo of the others laughing with him. Nobody remembered who started first. Arthur stood there watching as Lancelot hugged Blaez. He hugged each of his fellow knights until he stopped in front of Arthur.
Lancelot lowered his head to the ground before looking intently into his eyes. Arthur did not dare move.
"You are a bastard, just like them... No less... No more... you know that." He said insisting on each word.
Arthur and Lancelot exchanged long pointed look.
" I guess I wouldn't want it any other way. You're about to get married, I'd be damned if I missed that." Lancelot concluded with a nod.
A tear streaming down his left cheek, Arthur was unable to keep a straight face any longer. His mouth twitched upwards, and he burst out laughing. He felt so much joy at once.
They were still hugging each other when the doors were thrown open at once. Morgan made an appearance on the threshold, looking almost as pale as a ghost, thinner than Arthur'd ever seen her. She did not look at anyone when she entered the room. She was followed by a dozen guardians armed to the teeth and five older women wearing red cloaks. Her clothes had changed from the gruesome garb he last saw her in, to a dark blue dress that made the paleness of her skin so much more striking. The older women went sitting on the five seats behind the throne. The knights were stunned when more women filled the room one by one.
" I thought you said that the proceedings happened at night. Shouldn't they have reached a decision by now?" Arthur asked Snowblossom who was entering the room with her consorts also wearing red garments.
"Silence those men, White Blossom. They will not speak unless they are spoken in the house of the Goddess." An older lady said as she came with a plate of food.
Snowblossom turned to Arthur with a stern look.
"I asked that your men and you behave, commander. This is highly unorthodox, but there was no way to avoid it."
Calybrid and her sister stood next to the knights and explained quickly what was about to happen.
"There are our elders, in charge of maintaining our tradition. They generally do not mingle with us and live retired, closer to the nursery where they have a hand in raising the truly young. They are known to each possess at least one gift of the goddess. On the far left, you have Anwar, great-great-granddaughter of Melinae. Melinae was a great hero among our people, one of the founding member of our tribe. She possessed the sight. She can also mix potions like no one. The one next to her is Ailidh, she was a great warrior and a huntress once. Glynnes, in the center, is the oldest one. She is the one you should watch for. She has the sight and various other gifts at her disposition. Keir next to her is said to be able to move the mist and influence the weather. At last, this is Cullen; she possessed the power of premonition. Their decision is final and absolute for those who broke the lore, even Mother. They discussed the matter last night, but it seemed they hadn't reached a satisfying conclusion. It will continue for as long as they want. Mother... I mean Morgan had no say in the matter."
"Is it a good sign the discussion is not finished?" Andreas pondered aloud.
" It is too early to tell."
" What's the worst that can happen to her? She saved him."Arthur said.
Calysto turned to him grimly.
" The worst…death…"
" But she could also be stripped of powers and titles," Calybrid added.
" Exile. "Harkin cut in.
"Torture..." Lilith concluded.
"But she saved him?"
The coup de grace came from Snowblossom as always.
"Lancelot can also be put to death if they deemed he posed a threat. Both their fates will be decided tonight."
His grip on Lancelot's neck had not lessened. Arthur closed his other fist anxiously. Lancelot was strangely calm, his eyes never leaving Morgan. The elders shared a cup of wine among them and spoke in hush tones.
For a few minutes, all they did was share food and refreshments. The crowd was feasting also, and even the knights were invited to partake. Morgan just stood there unmoved and unaffected by what was happening around her. Arthur realized why she looked so frail as they noticed she seemed to be specifically excluded from the meal. No one offered her anything. She merely stood outcast in the middle of it all.
" I forgot. Do not give her any food. She isn't allowed to join the living until her fate had been decided." Calybrid said as she passed a delicious plate of roasted poultry and venison to the knights.
"How long has it been?" Lancelot asked.
At first, Snowblossom didn't understand what he meant by that. But when she followed his gaze, she replied with a voice devoid of emotion.
"How long have you been awake, Sir?"
Lancelot glared as an answer. Snowblossom frowned back. Blaez had been right. It seemed Lancelot wasn't about to make a friend and an ally out of this one anytime soon. He stabbed a piece of bread but changed his mind immediately. Everything became eerily quiet, and then Glynnes, the one in the center stood without preambles. She had the most piercing blue eyes. She nodded and sat down.
" Morgan, is the man you saved in this room?"
" He is." The brunet said without hesitation.
Arthur and Lancelot stared at each other. The commander of the Sarmatian knights turned to Blaez then who he trusted was paying attention as well. He was right because Blaez was collecting knives on the table while sloppily eating cheese and meat.
Snowblossom glared at Blaez in annoyance. He was one frustrating asshole.
"White Snow…"
Snowblossom turned toward the elders and stood up, gesturing for Lancelot to move forward.
" This is Lancelot. The one who died and came back."
"So soon, he is moving about. Does he speak?" Anwar, on the left, asked.
"He does actually." Lancelot retorted.
"So his mind is right." Anwar nodded her voice clearly unaffected by ire.
"That is not proof, sister. Let us see him closer. A beast can still hide. Travel through realms. Bidding his time before coming out of the shadows. Beasts are devious creatures." Ailidh the huntress said.
Snowblossom attempted to grab Lancelot's arm and pull him forward, but he withdrew immediately, staring her down defiantly. All the knights stood as one behind him. She let go immediately, blushed furiously, and the knights sat back quietly with various smirks and amused winks.
"Trust me they need to see what was done to you."
Lancelot shrugged and approached the council on his own. Glynnes gestured for him to come even closer. They all touched him at once. While one clawing fingernails moved from Lancelot's neck to his chest, one pulled his linen shirt up to see his wound, another hand was playing with his hair, with the shaved spot on his head. Glynnes touched his face softly with a mysterious smile. She sat down first while the other elders continued their investigations.
"He is tall. His hair is the color of darkness. " Anwar noted.
"He has been touched at birth by a seer. I am almost certain of it. I can still sense her mark. He smells like earth and rain."Cullen said.
" Very powerful. Blood magic. Strongly binding him to this world. It is the Wild child's imprint, sister. In turn, he shall leave a strong mark in this world. "
"There is something else. I am telling you..."
" Well, the earth is melting in his eyes. Look at the gold… He has a rich destiny ahead of him. I also agree." Was Keir the redhaired's final assessment.
"Solid frame indeed," Anwar noted again.
"He is deceptively handsome just like a beast," Ailidh said with a bashful giggle.
"Thank you, lady. You're not too bad yourself." Lancelot retorted with a wink.
"His hands are rough. They've killed many. I can still smell the blood on them." Cullen said holding Lancelot's hands wide open with a disgusted face.
"Well, he is a fighter indeed. I'm not surprised." Ailidh gave him a flirtatious wink before she sat down.
"You are an intelligent old lady. I like you, don't tell the others."
Her eyes lost in the distance. Morgan smiled at that. She crossed her arms over her chest, not unhappy with Lancelot's answers. She was even a tad bit proud. Keir sighed loudly, annoyed with her.
"He has a brash nature."
" I was waiting for you to notice, my sisters. His heart… leaves an odd signature behind."
Glynnes finally shared her own assessment, as if it was the only judgment that matter. All her sisters sat down and nodded.
"His heart is his own," Morgan said defensively.
Glynnes smiled again with rotten teeth.
"Is it?"
"Yes… It is what you see. His own." She said insisting on each word.
Glynnes frowned, skepticism reflecting in her eyes the color of the sea. However, she decided to let the matter go and continued on a conversational tone.
"So what did you do?"
Morgan seemed stunned by her question.
"I told you already."
"Walk us through your proceedings…again, child."
"I did already. I spent a night telling you about what I did. I don't know what more would you want… I did what I did. You want to punish me? I am waiting."
Morgan said, her voice challenging.
"Don't be too eager, young one. Judgment will come soon enough. We ask for now that you take us again through the ritual."
"I gave you the manuscript which inspired me."
"Humor us. Tell us again…"
"You want me to do it here? In front of those profanes? They shouldn't be involved in this."
"You're the one who brought them into our home," Anwar noted pragmatically.
"You're the one who got them involved in the first place," Ailidh concluded.
Morgan clenched her jaws.
"Fine, first I chased his healers, Ceridwen, and Arwen, chosen for their great expertise."
"Who chose them?"
"Me."
" So at the time, you no longer trusted in your judgment?"
"No, on the contrary, I deemed them too zealous and opinionated for my taste. They would not listen to me."
"So…"
"I sealed their mouths so they could keep my secrets."
"So you admit to using your gifts to harm the daughters of the Goddess."
"I cause no harm. I only wanted more time… I needed more time."
"No harm, you're the only one saying so," Cullen snapped.
"Time…" Glynnes continued, undisturbed.
"Time to find resources. I went to the stables and brought the horse down, slit its throat, carved my way to its heart….It died almost immediately."
Lancelot turned to face her. She didn't flinch.
"It didn't suffer."
Lancelot kept staring at her.
"Why his horse, my child?"
"I needed the closest thing to weigh down his soul back to our plane of existence. I couldn't possibly kill Arthur or any one of them." Morgan said matter-of-factly.
"You admit you thought about it?" Cullen asked.
"Of course I did."
"You arrogant little girl! The audacity! You sacrificed an innocent creature in time of mourning all for your selfish desire."Ailidh grumbled under her breath.
"You call me arrogant, and I only answer your question."
"Glynnes, my sister, will you let her behave this way with us? We are the authority and wisdom in Avalon. She knows nothing of the laws of this world. She proves time and time again that she couldn't be trusted. The rules she broke! She should pay the dearest price for it. Else, she will bring us only doom!"
Leaning her head on the one hand, the one in the middle continued, undisturbed and undeterred.
"What else did you do, Morgan ?"
"I caught up with his soul."
Glynnes feigned a mix of awe and surprise.
" Was it that easy to you?"
Remembering the pain, she felt at that moment, and how she thought she was about to die, Morgan shook her head firmly. However, she avoided Lancelot's heavy gaze.
"It was painful. It was a long journey… He did not want to follow me back home. He was ready to leave it all behind."
Arthur frowned.
"So what did you do?"
"I don't know."
"You succeeded, child, so you must know. "
"I… I don't remember. I only remembered waking up and locking his soul down. Then I proceeded to repair his body. I did it following the instructions in the Grimoire. My mother's instructions…"
"What else?"
"You already know about this."
"Should we ask again… keep asking until you're giving in even if it takes days or will you make it easier on yourself? We want to know how it all happened, child." Glynnes said again.
"It all happened because Arthur asked me to save Lancelot. So I saved Lancelot."
"When was that?"
"When was what?
"When did he ask you?"
"Back at the place, we call Black Rock Edge…"
"Was it after the meeting with The Son without Father? Snow told us about that." Ailidh asked.
"He has no father, but he has a daughter. Two to be precise. It was natural for me to grant him an audience after Vivian's passing."
Lancelot shared a look with Arthur. Was he aware of all this?
" Was Merlin there when Arthur asked you?"
"No, it was after I spoke with Merlin after I told him that I would not intervene in this war."
"But you did exactly the opposite again."
"I owe my father nothing. No loyalty. No truth. I am not his obedient one. I said I will hear his request and that's what I did. We were under the stones of our ancestor's then.
"It's quite far from Black Rock Edge? What brought you to the edge of our territory?
" Aud had them surrounded. My intervention saved them."
"Let us understand, child, not working for your father, you took upon yourself to travel south and east, to take part in a war you were not involved in. Your story is clearly missing something. What were you doing there? Let us start from the beginning again. Maybe then you will retrieve the memories you lost…" Glynnes said amiably.
"I followed…"
"Followed what?"
"The Goddess spoke to me."
"Was it the first time? How did it happen? Was it a mere instinct or a true vision? Did she ask you to do this?"
"She did not. It was a vision. In the middle of it, there he was, I saw him in my vision. I was in the garden of my Goddess when it happened."
"The garden… and you've been there before obviously."
"I have been walking in the garden of my goddess since I was an infant," Morgan said defiantly.
"Words had been passed out that you did. A prodigy they called you. Your mother was very proud." Anwar agreed.
" It was the reason why I was banished from this land in the first place."
"She wanted to protect you," Anwar said.
Keir approved.
"She said it was her reason. I don't quite believe that." Morgan retorted.
"Only a mother would understand. Are you not a Mother?"
"That's what you call me. I never said I was. It is ridiculous anyway!"
"Such insolence!" Ailidh shouted back.
"I do understand that a lot of these gifts you didn't ask for, child. But here we are to decide if you will be Mother and if you will get to understand one day." Keir said.
"She is too erratic. She will never understand." Ailidh countered again.
While the others were getting irritated around her, Glynnes in the middle merely sat, her wrinkled face like a riddle parchment, a mask of serenity.
"Why do you not believe your own mother did this because of love?"
Morgan said nothing.
"Morgan?"
"Because I was born different. For years, I grew up far from this land, walking in the shadows of my Father, standing out among his people, not understanding my difference, ostracized because of it. They were afraid of even touching me. I was harassed and mocked all because I was born the closest to her. The closest to the goddess. During all my torments, the only person missing was my mother. How can a mother do this to a child? She left me to suffer and suffer I did! "
Morgan closed her fists.
"If we told you, we were the one who long ago advised your mother and your aunt to do so, what would you say? Would you hate us?" Glynnes said with the same casual tone.
There was a sudden chilling gust of wind in the room, Morgan's strands of hair were like long snakes crowning her head, and her skin was white as snow. She did not say anything. The doors shuttered closed and reopened again. There was a tremor in the crowd as they tried to step away from her. Morgan let a deep laugh escape her throat.
"I'd say you are still breathing. You are also not in pain. You are truly blessed for now!"
"Is that a direct threat?" Anwar asked, her tone cold.
"See how unrestraint her power is, she will never understand," Cullen muttered, leaning on the edge of a seat.
"No, I will not." Morgan agreed with venom in her voice. "So don't ask me again!"
There was another long pause. Arthur escaped the grip Blaez had on his arm and step closer to the young girl. Lancelot, who had not moved, stood on her left. After a minute, Morgan relaxed and stared at them both questioningly. Glynnes held on her cheek patiently, not missing a beat. She changed the subject again.
"In that vision of yours, the roman was there?"
As if she just remembered what she was doing there, Morgan turned to her again.
"No, it was just Lancelot…"
"The man you needed to save. The one on the left."
"Yes."
"Why a pagan in the garden of our goddess? Did you ask yourself, you petulant child?" Keir rose suddenly. "Could it be the work of our enemy? Did you question it?"
Morgan's eyes darted again from Lancelot to Arthur again and again. There was a pause, and she replied absentmindedly.
"Of course I did. The reason soon became obvious to me. He is tied to them… They are tied to me…"
"Them? Who are you talking about?" Keir asked.
The brunet opened her eyes wide. She turned toward the elders at once, locking eyes with Glynnes who kept smiling.
"I mean… I knew why… I think I had a clear understanding of her intent at the time. It…was…I don't remember. It's all unclear now."
"Go ahead? Tell us about them?" Glynnes asked grinning as if they were crossing a familiar territory, something she couldn't wait to do all along.
"Will you punish me at last?"
"Tell us about the reason they are here. The real reason we are all here."Glynnes insisted.
Morgan remained silent.
"Tell us, child."
"They lost Tanjin! I only wanted for them to come and bring my sister back to the land where she would be most welcome, and they lost her! Not only they did, but they lost her to Aud no less! She was going to be his slave! He would have made a monster out of her! Nothing could have stopped him! If I had done nothing… If I had left it to them… Now she is…barely... there... Broken again... She is...But... But I was going to fix everything the way it should be... I... I was... I will..."
"Tanjin?" Lancelot frowned.
The other elders were seemingly caught by surprise.
"To be most clear, we are speaking of an eastern girl, Daughter of a king, born on a full moon, with a tapestry on her skin, brought to our shore by Roman greed, she was once in the guardianship of the young Arthur."
Morgan's eyes snapped wide open in panic. She hadn't meant to say that much.
" How do you know?"
Glynnes simply smiled.
"Morgan, you know Tanjin?" Arthur asked.
"She knows Tanjin?"
"How come the little witch knows Tanjin?" Bors said.
"Tanjin is my family!"
"What just happened? I miss a part of the story. Is she Hun?" Andreas whispered.
"It would explain some things if she was, "Aggravain noted mischievously. "I mean it would explain a lot."
Glynnes simply waited.
"I met Tanjin almost three years ago not too far from here. Vivian was walking me back after years of exile. I met Tanjin then. We were both frightened walking toward our destiny, but we became friends… sisters in unusual fashion. I swore I will keep an eye on her. I will always be with her. It is natural because of those men's ties to my lost sister that they can reach me as well. She is one of them. But she is my sister. "
"You mean to tell us that you broke all those rules to help just one."
Keir was appalled. Morgan said nothing.
"They are Merlin's mortal enemies. They are responsible for killing our people. Your people! Do you not have any sense of loyalty?" Ailidh wondered.
"I just said I have. To Tanjin and I discovered lately to those close to her. But that's just it."
Morgan said. Arthur and Lancelot stared at her.
"She feels no shame. Not a bit of remorse. She does not even feel like she has to bow to the Goddess! What a puny human!"
"Why should I bow to the Goddess? She is me. I am her. And you said that you banished me for a reason, you said that you believe that I did not belong here. Now you question my loyalty? I am the one growing impatient here!"
"You sacrificed one life to fulfill your selfish desires. You brought back the dead. Do you feel justified?!"
"I do actually! I feel every bit of justice running through me."
"Because of your so-called sister…"
Morgan nodded again defiantly.
"You look so much like your mother!"
"I am nothing like her. The truth is Vivian was so much more than I thought. I underestimated her. She was so much more powerful than you all are. None of you, profanes, knows what it feels like. You feel you know what it feels to be close to the Goddess?! What it takes? Don't make me laugh! You all pretend you know her when you only feel a tiny spark of power warming your blood from now and then, like the kiss of the sun on your skin. Sometimes it is more like an instinct to do what may feel right. Me… I feel her deep within myself like a constant whisper, and we are fighting every day. I feel her all the time, and it burned, and I'm going from place to place... From her garden to your table… And I am never feeling at home anywhere. All I ever wanted was a companion to share my misery. Someone who would understand how that feels..."
"...To not belong..." Arthur finished for her.
She looked briefly into his eyes.
"Are you aware you could be put to death for your treason?! We, daughters of Morrigan are not to play with Life and death! We are just mere mortals!" Keir said.
"Like I said, I am awaiting your judgment. So I can laugh it off again!"
"Death shall it be then!" Keir and Ailidh screamed at the same time. Anwar nodded.
Three women were walking toward Morgan when Glynnes stopped them with a show of hands.
"Calm down, sisters! Your mother left too soon, Morgan. I was also a child left by a mother gone too soon. I can see how that can affect your judgment. Vivian was crushed under the immense pressure of her own quest for power. Just like you, she felt at one point undesirable, and that pushed her to the edge. And she left you a heavy burden to carry on. Leading our people… What do you think of that?"
"I wish… I wish she just loved me enough to keep me close instead but this burden I will carry for her. Yet there is not a doubt in my mind that I will always do what I think is best even if it means breaking the rules. Rules mean nothing to me. Unfortunately, that is the kind of person I am."
Glynnes rose slowly from her chair.
"How honest of you! How naive also! You've barely seen sixteen summers so far. Yet, you feel you've lived long enough to know yourself. It is also kind of sad. You are eagerly awaiting a sentence as a way to deflect from your responsibilities, and I wonder if I should participate in this game of yours. You've been judged since the first day of your life, before you met a lost girl and before you met a Roman. We judged you before, deemed you a threat when you were just an infant playing. I recall you showing all the signs early on. Such a bright child! We were all fascinated by you. There was nothing dark within you, but it is true you were deemed a reasonable liability by my peers and me. We told your aunt that the Goddess favored you. It meant that she was to lose all her powers to you and that it was to be the death of her. The only cure for her sickness was to send you away. It was important Morgause understood it was the only way. Your aunt Morgause was a woman of cold blood and very dark ambitions. She was Mother to us, but we all knew who she was. She was deeply jealous of your existence from the moment you were in the womb. Your mother could see it too. Fortunately, she was ready to make the sacrifice. That is what a mother does."
Morgan sobbed in silence.
"Even in your exile, young Morgan, the goddess still visited you daily. Had you stayed here with us, your Aunt would have found her way to steal back those favors the goddess gave you. You would be dead, and your mother devastated."
Morgan's tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Please stop..."
"You are used to this, the constant conflict, being at war with the rest of us. I told you I don't want to play a part. I will not be the monster who torments you. I will not alleviate your burden like that. You already know what is about to happen. The Goddess I told you she favors you. You are cherished, Wild Child. You are loved. That is why she brought your sister closer to you… That is why she brought the knights… You may not think it is enough for you right now, but for me, it is a start. It is the start of some grander purpose. You are born today. I will not judge you for your past mistakes. "
Glynnes smiled again. Morgan took a step forward.
"You know what she told me. You know what I did. "
"Of course I do, Young Sister. I often walk in the garden of our goddess myself."
"I will do it again if I have to!"
"Good for you! I see that there is a way indeed. There may be a way for our people to remain in the light and a way to end this war altogether. It won't be easy, you will be held accountable for your actions, not by us... but the Goddess herself. There is hope yet. It will take time. Will they be inspired to help you now that they know the truth about you is something else entirely?" Glynnes said, addressing Arthur.
" I will," Arthur said without hesitation. Lancelot's jaw was set hard, but he did not move.
Glynnes' piercing blue eyes, did not waste a minute of their exchange.
"You are jesting, sister! Glynnes, think of what she's done! How dangerous it could be for us! They are both dangerous!"
"I made my decision. Anwar?"
Anwar sighed deeply.
"I will follow your decision."
"Keir?"
"Anwar, you won't listen to me!"
" Do you want to add something we haven't heard yet, sister?" Glynnes said.
"I will follow your decision."
Glynnes nodded.
"Ailidh?"
"I will follow your decision. But I will keep my eyes open..."
"Cullen?"
"I see gloom and darker times. This will have heavy consequences on all our lives. The boy did not come back whole. Aud has not finished wreaking havoc. We will hear about him soon. I have my doubts really. But I will follow your decision. The goddess's decision."
All of the women nodded.
"What is your decision then?" Keir asked.
"Morgan, you will resume your duty as soon as possible."
"You leave her in charge?" Snowblossom was incredulous. "After what she's done?"
" No more child play. No more Trickery." Keir added.
"You will leave childhood behind on the night of Samhain like the Goddess intended you to," Cullen added.
"We should choose a mate for her among the men. I do not trust her." Ailidh said.
"We will not. Glynnes said. She will make her own choice. She deserves this much."
Snowblossom turned again.
"Deserve? Like she deserves to be rewarded for what she's done! She desecrated Vivian's memories and..."
"Enough White Snow! This decision will be final. "Anwar intervened before she turned once more to Glynnes.
Glynnes shook her head with amusement. Youth!
"We are listening, Sister."
"I said. Morgan, you will make your own choice on your own time."
"But that is not a reasonable sentence. There is no way she will learn like this!" Snowblossom intervened.
Glynnes said nothing and continued.
"After that, you are to remain bound by your duty here for ten more years. Half your days will be spent learning about the rules and the history of Avalon. I will personally see to it. The rest of the day you will serve your people. You will not leave this island before the time comes not even for a quick walk in the garden of our Mother. As for your mate, he will only be allowed to visit once a year. No more. No less. It is custom. At last, it has yet to be decided if we will partake in any way or form in the war against Aud. Here is where you Snowblossom will play a part. You will make that decision when the time comes. "
"What?"
"Any military decision will have to have both your approvals, White Snow. Since you will be the one to lead our sisters to battle from now on."
"What does it mean?"Morgan asked.
"To sum things up, It means you are both in charge, and you both have lots of work to do. "Glynnes said with a mischievous wink.
"I saw myself mounting a horse to battle."
"You were mistaken then. Unless Aud Askin brings the battlefield to our shore, I don't see how that can happen."
"I saw…"
"Here was my final decision."
"They do not stand a chance without our military help." She turned to Snowblossom.
"I won't put anyone in danger to sustain your whims. Since you could not respect one rule... You could not care for any one of us. I don't care for your cause or your subsequent losses. That is their battle, not ours. They need to leave. After the feast... They will be asked to leave." The blond said.
"She will die out there without help and..."
Snowblossom only turned her back on Morgan and left with a few of her followers.
"Glynnes, please. I am sorry if I cause any griefs to my sisters, but..."
"I will not repeat myself because you are her and she is me," Glynnes said her voice final. Morgan blinked back in realization and bent down respectfully.
"You are dismissed, Morgan."
Dismissed. Glynnes had barely uttered the world that the wild child rushed outside in desperate need of some fresh air. Holding her sides, she stopped close to the edge of the first balcony. She was breathing hard, feeling her chest burning.
That's where Arthur found her. The rainbow coalesced into a starburst, rays of multicolored light radiating outward. The mist dissipated slowly. It was no longer raining, and the sun was ready to dry the brown puddles.
She turned toward him before he could make another step closing the distance between.
- Don't come any closer!
Arthur stopped then.
"For someone with a clear conscience or the total absence of one, you seemed awfully agitated.
" I… told you, Commander. Do not come closer!"
" I told you I lost my parents, didn't I? I lost anyone that mattered to me."
She was gazing in the distance.
" I know all about that. I am sorry for what my father took from you."
"Sorry? Again I am surprised…"
" You absolutely know what I mean."
"Well, the truth is it is war. They were casualties, some might say, my mother more than my father. At least, they died believing in what they fought for. We have all lost things in the fire. Doesn't lessen the pain but it pur things into new perspectives."
Morgan nodded. Arthur returned to a conversational tone.
" I asked you to do the impossible. I asked you to spite the God I thought I had put all my faith in."
"I didn't do it for you! Didn't you hear? I did it all to save my sister."
" I heard. Tanjin? Huh? She means that much to you."
Arthur stepped closer. She shrugged and took a dangerous step back.
" I told you."
" What is it about Tanjin really?" He almost snorted. "Believe me, when I found him, should I say when I found her, back in Epithelium, I couldn't imagine that the simple act of buying someone's life will lead me to you here. To this moment."
" Why did you do it then?"
"I don't know? That's why I'm asking. What is it about Tanjin anyway?"
Morgan shrugged.
"What is it about Lancelot?"
"Fair enough."
The girl asked hesitantly, shaking her head. Arthur smiled faintly.
"I don't know what is happening to me. I just… I used to feel…"
" Numb…like nothing could touch you… As if you were above feeling anyway… Like the world could not reach you or wound you."
She nodded frantically.
"Now… everything hurts. It hurts so bad, and I am angry all the time…and worried... I am breathless... I don't recognize this feeling... This is not who I used to be..." She whispered.
He took another step closer.
"Before Lancelot, nothing mattered. No one really mattered. It was just a world in black and white. I did what I was supposed to do. I did only what was expected of me. I was a good child. An obedient one. My father died. My mother died. I tried every day to live up to their expectations. I was so angry with myself. I remember being so weak. It was a pity really. I remembered like it was yesterday... It was yesterday the day I asked you to save him without even thinking about the consequences. The day I gave up anything for him. Even my faith. I couldn't protect them but Lancelot I can... "
She nodded again.
" I am no good… just wasted, Arthur. I am a ghost. I don't matter. There is nothing good inside... I lived among the dead for so long they are my friends... The only reason I love my foreign sister so much is that she is just as lost and just as dark... She lives in the same hell as I do. Arthur, I can do things you cannot imagine. I can see things… I prefer you wouldn't for your own peace of mind. I would not think twice about sacrificing anyone of you… to reach my goal. That is the kind of person I am."
"But you did think twice…"
His hand appeared from nowhere it seemed and tightened on her wrist, white-knuckled. He had the firmest grip on her. Frail as she was, her skin was burning hot under his touch. It gradually became soft also. His hands traveled her shoulder slowly to rest on her neck. He pulled her closer.
"I didn't think twice about what I was asking you to do. Even aware as I was how wrong it was, how much it put the others in danger; I still would not think twice today, do you understand?"
She nodded and then shook her head. Two answers for one. He was reminded of a specific hun.
" You believe in me and you made me feel like I matter."
Arthur stepped closer.
" I did. I do. Because you do. Tell me you understand."
He leaned a little closer bending enough, so their foreheads were touching. His arm circled her waist so intimately Morgan inhaled sharply.
"There is darkness where I walk, Arthur..."
" Tell me you understand." He whispered close to her ear.
She shivered unable to say the words. She went still in his arms. Arthur drew back again and studied the reaction on her face.
" I need you to understand the kind of man I am. How demanding and cruel I can be… How selfish... Until now only Lancelot would know this… But I need you to…I need you to understand Morgan… Please…"
He pleaded with her. The sudden desire Arthur felt was suddenly too much to bear. All his rational thoughts were slowly consumed by a raging fire inside him. His hold tightened on her neck. Around them, the world could very well fall apart. The Mist surrounding them like a shield, they were to be excluded from the disaster.
Lucid grey eyes met with hazel eyes.
" I understand."
His lips slammed onto hers, and it was nothing like she'd ever imagined. Not that she'd ever imagined, the way she was currently pressed against him, the way she could feel him as if he originated from inside of her. She did not need her sight, and she could see him perfectly. Before she could settle on the idea that this was all there was to a kiss, before she thought this could ever be enough for them, he greedily pressed his tongue to the seam of her lips, delving inside at last. She faltered back, pulled on his clothes, and clutched a handful of the linen material for support. She tried for air, but he almost forbade her in his haste. At that moment, it really did not seem to matter. His need for her was a desire so primal and instinctive. It prevailed on everything it seemed, even his sense of decency or modesty. His lips only left hers to kiss her neck, trailing around her chin. Not an innocent bystander, Morgan was holding onto him tight and kissing him just as passionately.
Lancelot scratched his hair as he slowly sat on a bench to watch them. They moved like one away from the edge. Arthur had her trapped against a wall before he could blink. He never knew his best friend could move like that. That was probably the heart of the problem for Lancelot. There was a lot he did not know about Arthur and her. He knew Arthur. He barely knew her. And now that he was made aware how deeply their bonds ran, something inside him was screaming to be let out. All he knew was nobody wanted to see the ugliness in that.
"Seems like a lot has changed, Lance?" Blaez said as he sat next to him with two mugs of ale.
Lancelot said nothing as he accepted the peace offering. Alcohol had always made him feel better. He brought the mug to his lips never taking his eyes off the couple. But right now, it was not doing anything for him, the buzzing headache he felt could only be supplanted by the burning ache he felt in the pit of his stomach.
" Tristan and Duncan are missing. Gawain also. Danis and Melan are dead." Lancelot finally said as he emptied the mug.
" Oh about that! I know Arthur wanted to be the one to tell you. But since he is otherwise preoccupied right now, I will do the honor. They went searching for the young ones. We parted ways weeks ago."
Lancelot nodded absent-mindedly.
"He let that happen?" Lancelot said his voice cold.
"Well, we had other things to consider... A lot of things to consider. But I think it was always on his mind to join them later. I think..."
Hopeful blue eyes met dubious green eyes.
"She bewitched him."
"I know, Lance… She is like the Hun…Trouble… He's never had any… Honestly, I can see the appeal in this one."
" She can't be trusted," Lancelot said.
" If anything, we learned this much today." Blaez agreed. "What should we do?"
Lancelot said nothing, merely holding out one hand. Blaez gave up the rest of his ale with a mock groan.
" Now that we know the little enchantress didn't kill you, I don't know I would be just tempted to let him have his fun with her."
Lancelot kept watching as the lovers finally separated, catching up some much-needed rest, breathing hard against each other, eyes fixated on one another. He was staring at them with a dangerous fascination.
" Lancelot?"
"Yes."
" Are you all there?" Blaez asked hesitantly. "Mind, Soul, and Body, I mean. Don't let me be the wise one."
Lancelot's lips spread into their usual smirk. Blaez's laugh was so sudden and rude, the couple pulled apart in surprise. The blonde gave an appreciative whistle as Arthur shook his head playfully, letting go of Morgan at once. The commander of the Sarmatian knights knew he was never going to hear the end of this. His gaze met with Lancelot next, and the playful smile vanished. There was so much hostility in his second-in-command gaze, Arthur frowned.
" I will retire to my room for the day, Arthur," Morgan said.
The roman nodded absentmindedly. He watched in rapture as she walked away, the wind playing with her hair. Raising his eyes again toward his fellow knights, he noticed he wasn't the only one. Watching that is.
A/N: Thank you for your review Koba, I appreciated you giving me a heads up about the repetitions.