Chapter 37: Hyde Attacks (Anastasia's POV)

I sighed and closed my laptop. Christian and Christina had been gone for over an hour, and I hadn't been able to concentrate on my work since before they left. I just couldn't get Christian's anger and disappointment... and hurt... out of my mind. It was obvious that he really wanted me to change my name when we married. It was important to him that I become Mrs. Christian Grey. Well, I wanted that too, just not an official name change. I wanted to be his, but I still wanted to be Anastasia Steele too. Why couldn't I have both?

I stood up and gazed out the window at the Seattle skyline. The sun was already beginning to set over Elliot Bay, although it was impossible to see it in the usual overcast weather. At least it wasn't pouring down rain. I sighed again. I really didn't want to hurt Christian. Was I being selfish, insisting on keeping my maiden name? What would it mean to Ismintis International if I changed my name to Grey? Would my stakeholders not immediately associate me with GEH? Why couldn't Christian understand my reasoning?

I decided that I needed a distraction, and it had been a while since I'd checked in on Leila. She had been sleeping almost constantly since the interview had aired. I could see how much weaker she'd gotten in just a couple of days, and I didn't expect her to be here much longer. I wanted to make sure that her last days were as comfortable as possible. I went to the door that separated my penthouse from Christian's. His had actually become more home to me than my own. I didn't say anything to Christian's security officer, Reynolds, who I assumed was in Christian's security office. I knew that Luke was on duty at my place, and he'd alert Reynolds to my whereabouts as soon as the door alarm went off. The silent alarm was a security feature that Christian and I had both insisted on when we'd had the door installed.

As soon as I entered my penthouse, I was shocked at what I found. Luke was lying in the foyer, and... was that blood? Oh my God! Luke was unconscious... or was he dead? His head was bleeding badly.

Before I had a chance to even react to the shocking sight, I heard loud voices. I felt terrified, and I looked for a hiding place. The coat closet. I slipped quickly inside, as quietly as possible.

"You didn't tell me nobody was gonna get hurt!" I recognized the voice of Hillary, the nurse on duty for Leila.

"You're right," an eerily calm voice answered. At first, I didn't recognize it, but with his next words, I was able to clearly identify the voice I'd come to hate. Jack Hyde. "I didn't tell you. You stupid bitch." And then, I heard a gunshot. It wasn't loud, but it was recognizable. It was followed by a crash. My God. Jack Hyde had just shot Hillary the nurse. I was sure of it. I stayed glued to my spot, terrified of what would happen if Jack found me.

"You can come out now, Princess Anastasia," his taunting voice called out. "I know you're behind this door." His voice was closer now. I wasn't sure whether I should stay hidden or open the door and face him. But I knew he had a gun and that he'd just shot one person, and probably two. He had probably shot Luke before I arrived. My God, Luke! Was he dead, or dying?

I didn't have a chance to decide what to do. The next moment, the door was thrown open, and Hyde stood there leering at me. "Why do you never fucking do as you're told? Two fucking years I worked for you. You never listened."

I knew by the look in his eyes that he was going to kill me. I decided that I should take my chances and try to run away from him. I pushed him as hard as I could, which caught him off guard and made him fall backwards. But he regained his balance and was after me in a flash. Before I'd even gotten a few feet, I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head. Then, everything went black.

I have no idea how much time passed before I woke up, and I wasn't sure even then if I was awake or if I was having the most horrible nightmare I'd ever had. My head was aching so badly I thought I must have a migraine, even though I'd never had one before. I knew even before I opened my eyes from the smell of wood and lemon-scented furniture polish that I was in Christian's playroom. How did I get here? I was naked and bound to what I realized was the spanking bench. I wondered for a moment what was going on, but then I heard it. That disgusting voice that I'd never wanted to hear again. Jack Hyde. I remembered what had just happened... how long ago was that? Luke! Was he dead? And Hillary the nurse, too. Hyde had shot them both!

"It appears that her royal highness has decided to finally grace us with her presence," he sneered. "Welcome to your worst nightmare, Princess Anastasia."

"Jack," I spoke as strongly as I could, wanting to show him that I wasn't afraid of him, even though I was terrified. "What are you doing?"

He laughed sinisterly. "What I'm doing, your highness, is finally getting my revenge on that son of a bitch who stole my life. Sorry, Princess Anastasia. It's nothing personal even though I think you're a royal bitch. You don't deserve to die just for being a pretentious bitch. This is really about your lover. He deserves to watch you die. And he's going to." Jack moved around in the room. I noticed video cameras that were already recording.

"I don't understand," I told him, still maintaining my fearless tone as best I could. "What do you have against Christian? Why are you doing this, Jack?"

"That bastard stole my life. It should have been me that the Greys adopted. I was next. And that little shit came right in and robbed me of my new parents. They took him instead of me. I grew up on the streets because of him. I had to struggle for everything. All because of him. So now, it's time for him to pay. He took from me what mattered the most, so now, I'm going to take from him what he cares most about. You." He looked at one of the cameras and said tauntingly, "You hear me, baby bird? This is your day of reckoning. Welcome to Hell!"

I tried reasoning with him. "Jack, I'm sure Christian had nothing to do with whatever you're talking about. He was only four when he was adopted. He couldn't have possibly known..."

"Shut the fuck up," Jack cut me off. "I don't give a flying fuck what you think you know. It doesn't matter, Miss Know-It-All. You're not as smart as you think you are, you know. You gave me everything I needed in that fucking interview that you televised. Saint Anastasia, setting up her palace in the sky for Grey's baby mamma. Hiring nannies and nurses. You gave me my in by announcing that shit. You thought you were saving his ass. Well, fuck you." He looked at one of the cameras again and said, "In fact, that's exactly what I'm going to do. Fuck you. Hard, just the way you like it. Actually, first, I'm going to make use of some of the toys that you and your boyfriend like. Thanks to me, the whole world knows what he likes to do to his women before he fucks them."

"Jack..." I tried again, but he cut me off.

"I thought I told you to shut up," he said angrily. But then with creepy calmness, he ran his hands through my hair and said, "It doesn't matter, you know. You can beg all you want, and it won't stop what's going to happen. I am going to beat the hell out of you, just like Grey beats his women. Then I'm going to fuck you while he watches me. And then, I'm going to kill you. You can't stop me, and neither can he."

His words shocked me so badly that I couldn't speak for a moment. I watched as Jack examined some of the floggers and crops that were hanging on the wall. Thank God Christian had gotten rid of the canes and other more heavy-duty whips and stuff.

"Jack, don't do this," I begged, even though by now, I knew it wouldn't do any good.

"Is this all he has?" Jack asked, more to himself than me. "These are wimpy. But I'll have to make do." He took a riding crop from the wall, and without any warning, he hit me with it, much harder than Christian ever had. It knocked the breath out of me, but he didn't stop. I lost count of how many times he hit me.

I'm not sure how much time passed before I heard the crop hit the floor. My eyes were squeezed shut, and I didn't open them as Jack grumbled. "Pansy-assed toys. She's barely even bleeding yet." I heard him moving around, and I opened my eyes to see him holding one of Christian's floggers, tying something shiny to the end of it.

Then, I experienced the most excruciating pain, worse than my wildest imagination, as he began to flog me. Every time he hit me, I felt my skin ripping off my body. Then, just as I didn't think this nightmare could get any worse, it did. And as he invaded my body, I found myself leaving it. I went back in time, to the first time I ever watched The Sound of Music with my mom and Ray.

I heard my mom's off-key voice singing, and it was beautiful. "… Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things..."

Then, we were walking along the coastline. All three of were together again, and I was probably nine or ten years old. We came across a puppy who'd been abandoned and was starving. We'd had a picnic, and I still had part of my sandwich left, which I fed her. We played frisbee for a couple of hours, and I was amazed and delighted that the little dog could already catch it in her mouth. When it was time for us to leave, I begged them to let me keep her. Mom was all for it, but Ray not so much. But I convinced him. Bandit became my first pet. Ray had pitched a fit a few times about her... it had taken a while to house break her... but he eventually came to love her as much as I did.

I was shocked back to reality when my body was dragged off of the spanking bench. He pulled me by the hair and drug me across the room to the Saint Andrews Cross. When my shredded back hit the wood, I passed out. From then on, I was in and out of consciousness. I knew he was continuing to brutalize me, and I knew he had a knife. A big fucking knife. He was stabbing me with it. He was going to slit my throat with it. I knew I was going to die. There was no hope of surviving. But I was also souring over Elliot Bay with Christian. Parasailing. Then, we were climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. Then, he was letting me drive his car. The Audi Spider. Somewhere nearby, a car backfired. Then, a loud wail filled the room. What was that? I opened my eyes, coming back to reality. Where was Hyde? Was I dead yet? Christian?

"I've got you, princess," my dream Christian said lovingly. If only he were really here. If only I were still alive. But I felt him releasing my restraints. Was this real?

"Christian," I tried to speak, but nothing came out of my mouth because I was dead, and dead people can't talk. Everything went black again, and I was back out on the water with Christian, jet skiing. The water was spraying my face, and we were both laughing.

I was jolted back to reality again when I felt myself moving. I opened my eyes and realized that there were medical workers moving me from the Saint Andrews Cross and onto a stretcher. This was real. Christian was really here, and so were the paramedics.

"Christian!" I cried out as loudly as I could. If I were really alive, wouldn't he be able to hear me? "Don't leave me!"

"I'm here, princess!" I heard his panicked voice trying to calm me, but that was impossible. Where was my attacker. What if he attached Christian?

"Jack Hyde," I warned him. "He's here. He did this. He has a gun. Where is he?"

The voice that responded to me was Taylor's ,not Christian's. "It's OK, Ana, Jack Hyde is dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

I wasn't sure if Taylor was telling me the truth, and I was terrified. "Don't leave me!" I begged Christian. I heard Taylor talking to the police, but thank God Christian was coming with me. I clung to his hand as the paramedics took me on the stretcher to the elevator. I think I passed out again in the elevator, but I remember being loaded into the ambulance.

As the ambulance rushed me to the hospital, I remembered those fucking video cameras. "Promise me," I said to Christian.

"Anything!" he responded frantically.

"Promise me... whether I live or... die. Promise me... you'll never watch the video footage."

I don't know if Christian agreed with my request or not because when I closed my eyes, I did not open them again.