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Chapter 36: J's Regret (Part 3)

Jerod was pacing back and forth outside the hotel as he waited for his friends to come to him. He wanted to go out and find John but he needed to talk with someone first.

Then he noticed his friends coming towards him. All of them had frantic and worried looks on their faces. He saw Delilah stomping towards him.

"H-hey Delilah, hold o-' Jerod grunted as Delilah grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards him with surprising strength. Her eyes were fiery.

"Where is my brother!" She growled.

"Is he hurt?" Diego asked.

"What happened?" Iris asked.

"We have to find him!" Frisk said

"Guys hold on!" Jerod said. "Before you all do anything I need to talk with Delilah, privately." He looked to her. "Okay?"

"Fine, this better be important." She said as she released him.

"It is. The rest of you guys wait here." He said as he went inside with Delilah. They went into Jerod's room and he closed the door.

Delilah turned towards him and crossed her arms. "What do you have to tell me." Jerod raised his head and Delilah was surprised to see such fear in his eye.

"Delilah, is John in love with me?"

Delilah eyes widened and she shoved Jerod against the door. "Who told you that? What did you do?!" She yelled.

Jerod struggled to repeat what happened without his voice cracking. Delilah listened and she slowly contained her anger but it was obvious that she wanted to beat the crap out of him right now.

"That's all that happened. So again I'm going to ask, is he in love with me?"

Delilah sighed. "I think that is an answer you should ask him."

"But you do know the answer, right?" Jerod said

"Yes, but it's not my place to answer for him."

Jerod groaned frustrated, she was not helping. "Alright then, I'll talk to him then." He walked towards the door.

"Is he going to like what you have to say?" Asked Delilah. Jerod froze and turned back towards Delilah. "He might have a good reason for running away. You aren't going to find him just to tell him something that will hurt him, are you?"

Jerod blinked. He really didn't think of what he was going to say to him. All he could think about was finding him and making sure he was alright. He realized that no matter what they will have to talk about what happened here and what to do from there.

Jerod looked at Delilah. "I don't want to hurt him."

"Wanting and doing are two different things. My brother has had a hard life. He deserves to catch a break. So I better not hear that you broke him or I will personally send you to hell and make sure Frisk's resets don't bring you back."

Jerod eyed her, she was serious. "Alright."

"Are you in love with him?" Delilah asked.

Jerod sighed heavily. "I don't know, my feelings are pretty complicated at this point."

"Maybe you should take some time for the two of you to cool off. He'll probably take whatever you have to say better if you have a solid answer for him."

Jerod shook his head. "We didn't leave on good terms. He's going to assume the worst if I don't talk to him soon."

"Maybe I should go get the others so we might have an easier time finding him.

"No, I don't want to get that many people involved." Jerod frowned. "John wouldn't like that."

Delilah's eyebrows raised, evaluating Jerod's answer. She seemed to approve.

"I think you have things more figured out than you think." She said smiling at Jerod.

Jerod's cheeks started to burn from the blushing.

"Uh, yeah, I dunno. I still haven't figured out where he is."

"I do." Suddenly Chara appeared in the room startling them both.

"Hey Chara, can you maybe next time come in a little less surprising?" Jerod exclaimed.

"Hold on, you said that you know where John is?" Delilah asked.

Jerod's eyes widened. "Chara where is he?!" He begged

Chara backed away a little bit, startled by his desperation. "He is over at Waterfall by the music box statue."

"Alright then" Jerod looked at Delilah. "Let's go get hi-"

"HOLD ON!" Chara Yelled stopping the two of them. "John is asking for only Jerod. He seems pretty 'messed up' right now. It is best if you do what he says right now."

Jerod frowned. He knew this was his fault. "Alright then. Delilah, I'll head over there now. I need you to make up an alibi to tell the others whats going on."

"I'll come up with something. You just go get him." She said. Jerod nodded and turned around when Delilah grabbed his wrist. "Jerod, please...If you have to break his heart, do it in the nicest way possible."

Jerod nodded and gave a thumbs up. "Don't worry I got this." He then dashed out of the room and out of the hotel, passing by his friends before they could say anything.

With his supersonic speed he managed to make it to the location in half an hour, it took a while because he had to be careful not to accidentally run of the edge and fall into the lava below.

When he reached the room he frantically looked around but didn't see him.

He cupped his hands over his mouth. "John! John!" He called.

"I'm over here, idiot." He heard someone mumble.

Jerod looked to the origin of the voice, over by the statue. John was there blending in with the statue. Jerod looked relived to see him, but flinched when he got a closer look at him. His curly hair was a mangled mess, his eyes were red and puffy from crying along with dark bags in them, on his cheek where he punched him a bruise was forming. His eyes were looking at him with hurt and malice.

John sighed. "Guess you did have the guts to show your face, but you don't have the right." He glared then looked away.

Jerod cowered from his glare. He knew he could beat him in an actual fight but he really doesn't want to start something, not after what he done. "L-look John I-"

"What? Your going to tell me that I'm a freaking weirdo?!"

"N-no I just want to sa-"

"Or maybe you come to blackmail me or else you will reveal my big secret?"

"John just let me say tha-"

"Oh what, am I getting on your nerves. What are you going to do, beat me up? That seems to be what you are bes-"

"DAMN IT JOHN I'M SORRY! PLEASE LOOK AT ME!" Jerod wailed.

John, startled, looked at Jerod and was surprised at what he saw. He was on his knees in front of him and tears were raining down as he sobbed. John had never seem Jerod cry before. He did see him tear up a little from a painful injury but not full on crying.

John cleared his throat and gestured for him to continue.

"Does this look like I want to hurt you any more than I did? No, it's not. I'm sorry for hurting you the way I did. I have no problem that you are...are..."

"Just say it, 'that I'm gay"

"Y-yeah. I got no problem that you are gay. I kinda wasn't expecting you to be."

"What, if I acted like Mettaton then it would automatically make me gay?" He didn't hear an answer from Jerod. "That is really stereotyping the- us."

"But I got no problem with that, I can live with a gay friend."

"But you do realize that there is more to it."

Jerod looked away. "I kinda had a suspicion."

"Suspicion?! I freaking kissed you. Isn't it freaking obvious that I'm in love with you?" John exclaimed.

"I know but I just wanted to hear it from you first."

"Why?"

"I just really want to be sure that is how you feel before I say what I need to say. I don't want to just assume anything that would risk our friendship. I don't want to lose you, and if you think that I don't value you being my friend...then I'm not the only idiot in the room right now."

John froze and glanced away nervously. "I guess that makes sense. Alright just say it...?" He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, forced to listen to him.

"I...I want to try to be with you." John's head snapped back towards him. He looked nervous and was blushing.

He couldn't believe what he just heard. Never did he think that he would ever hear those words come out of him.

"John please say something." Jerod said.

John cleared his mind. "I-is this a joke because it's really not funny."

Jerod frowned. "No it's not a joke. I really didn't ever think that I would have to question my sexuality. I always thought that I liked girls but then there is you. I never noticed but our friendship is really close; I enjoy being with you, making you smile, listening to you when you want to talk, and just plain having fun together and I think you feel that way to. I have other friends but none as close as you. After you left today I started realizing that I have feelings back for you. I...actually liked that kiss you gave me."

John blushed. "That was my first kiss ever. But if you enjoyed it then why did you chicken out?"

"Honestly, I was scared."

John blinked. "You, scared?"

"Yeah. I was afraid about how things between us would change and that maybe I don't have the same feelings for you. But after what happened it made me realize how strong my feelings for you was. I want to try being together with you. It's like you said, who knows when someone like Flowey comes around and ends our lives short. If that day ever comes then I want to go out with no regrets. This is all so sudden but you gave me a wakeup call on how short our lives can be."

Jerod got up close to John, John's face heating up from the close proximity. "I want to be your boyfriend." Jerod leaned in closely, watching John's reaction carefully. When their lips met John didn't hesitate. They wrapped their arms around each other as they deepened the kiss. When John fantasized kissing Jerod he always thought that it would be forceful, dominating and lewd but right now he is being gentle, sincere, and innocent which is not usually seen in teenage romance these days. He was scared, this might be building up to a heartbreak that will destroy him. But those thoughts got wiped away from how good it felt to kiss the person he loved. Butterflies tickled his stomach as everything felt perfect.

They didn't realize it but both of their slightly grayed out Souls reached their original healthy colors as they glowed pink and pulsed in sync. They were filled with Love

The kiss lasted awhile before they had to separate for air. When they did Jerod had a sheepish smile on his face as John still had a look of bewilderment.

"I love you, John. You don't have to hide your feelings from me anymore."

Those words brought down all the emotional walls John put up to hide his emotions from everyone. He clung to Jerod, buried his face to his shirt and sobbed. All those years of being alone, getting hurt, hiding his emotions from his crush all of it was unleashed. It was an terrible sound he made, wailing, hiccuping, and shaking uncontrollably but Jerod held on soothing him and rubbing his back as he released all these years of pent up emotions. He heard him mumble through his shirt that he loved him back, Jerod smiled and pulled him closer. He didn't know how long they stayed there, every time it looked like he calmed down the sobs quickly resumed until eventually it began to quiet down into whimpers and sniffles. Jerod didn't noticed that John fell asleep like that until he heard light snoring. He gently picked him up and carried him back to the hotel.

John stirred in his sleep when he felt himself being lowered onto something soft. He opened his eyes slightly to see he was in his hotel room. Jerod just put him on his bed and was about to leave. He quickly reached up and pulled him down.

"Don't leave me please." He begged.

He heard a chuckle and him saying okay. He felt him being pulled under the covers and Jerod wrapping his strong arms around him. John wrapped his legs around one of Jerod's and snuggled into his chest. He felt warm and happy as he drifted off to sleep. Things needed to be done when they wake up but whatever happens they will do it together...

As a couple.

I really don't know how to best talk about this. Maybe it's best if I first say that John's character is mostly based upon me (Ironic because in real life I am really no patient). I should state that I literally look nothing like him but his personality is based upon mine, even his backstory and ...his crush.

Yes, I am into men and girls, I'm bisexual. I am scared of coming out to anyone so I felt okay telling it here where no one knows me. I also have a crush on a kid who's personality is based off of Jerod (I prefer to not call him by name so I will call him My Jerod). I met My Jerod the same way that John met Jerod and over the years I developed a crush on him. The problem was that I was and still am still too scared to tell him how I feel about him because I don't want to risk ruining our relationship. I regret it so much and I keep thinking of different scenarios of how it would play out. I decided if I won't ever tell him or I do and he doesn't return the feeling then I would at least make a scenario where it did work out and we become a couple. I'm not saying that he might never actually love me but I am saying that love is not always like in the movies and stories.

The fear of anyone knowing my sexuality along with barely having any friends beside My Jerod makes me become very depressed (and no it make me angsty and want to do something cowardly). That is why I put this in this fanfic, as a way of confessing my feelings. At first I was going to hold out on putting this into the fic but then my story got recently favorited by Ben10extreme. Ben10extreme! That is the guy that got me into fanfic in the first place so I really am grateful that he thinks my fanfic is great which gave me the confidence to make this.

I also want to point out that the title "J's regret" has a triple meaning. One is Jerod's regret of hurting his friend in his most vulnerable moment, two is John's regret of ever confessing to him, and three is my regret of never telling My Jerod how I feel.

I hope you all accept me (and John) for who I am. I will see you guys next time

Have fun!